“what's This?” You Ask, Eyeing The Carefully Packed Bag In Your Hands.

(190929) han, maze of memories

˚ ༻✿ Herbarium ✿༺ ˚

I would like to blame @bye-bye-sunbird​ and @yandere-romanticaa​ for my descent into Capitano hell. All I could do was write my longest fic in hopes of purging the brainrot……yeahh so pls enjoy my humble contribution to the Capitano agenda ;-;

Thank you so much to my dear friend @diodellet​ for peer reviewing this and helping me out with the Genshin lore!! I delighted in watching you suffer  ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡

Tw:: YANDERE, unhealthy relationships, kidnapping, violence, blood, murder, psychological trauma, mention of child abuse, spice, MINORS DNI

Note:: Female reader described as physically weak and smaller than Capitano, this fic will most likely be considered OOC in a few years

♡ 10.1k words under the cut ♡

i. dandelion

You adore dandelions for the same reason that you despise them.

A tiny flower symbolic of love and freedom. The ethereal ghosts of golden petals adored even—or perhaps only—after losing their vibrant, sunlike forms. A soft blow is all it takes to breathe new life into the flower, for the seeds to embark on new journeys in a scatter of liberated parachutes and hopeful wishes.

Not all dandelions have the fortune of finding new homes, however. Some are plucked for human purposes and imbued with new value as sentimental gifts. Many are transformed into entirely different products such as food and wine. Others are simply forgotten, doomed to remain in their original area until death finally claims them. Regardless, dandelions are transient like any other flower and will eventually disappear from the world.

Your flowers are deprived of that fate.

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 It’s my secret garden.

genshin impact ✧ xiao lockscreens

🎐— requested by: anonymous! 

🎐— dimensions: 1125 x 2436 px.

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phainon x f!reader. sfw ⏜ .𖥔 ݁₊ the moment he realizes he loves you.

Nearly half of Amphoreus would say that Phainon’s love for you bloomed slowly. A tender type of fondness that gradually became something more like affection over time. The other half, unsurprisingly so, insists that he fell hard — and fast. More similar to a sudden and clumsy descent into love that he only fell deeper and deeper into.

And then, there’s someone who thinks it’s neither.

“You still haven’t left to tell her?” Mydei asks a few feet away from him, arms crossed and body gently resting against the wall. He almost looks surprised to see him, having already expected to see the chamber vacant by now.

“Hm? Tell her what?”

He stands up straighter hearing this. “That you’re safe. She’d be the one worrying herself sick over something like this, right?”

The realization settles in his eyes within a second. He’s knocking on your door the very next — and when your eyes widen, sputtering his name in disbelief once before you’re rushing to squeeze him in a tearful embrace — another realization strikes him.

Your hearts are beside each other when he first realizes he loves you. It’s not that his love for you bloomed slowly, or that it randomly struck him in an instant. Rather, Mydei thinks it’s been there this entire time, hidden beneath the guise of fondness, the same way the sun is still present even behind a thick cloud.

“Uh oh. You’re not crying, are you?” His arms move to hold you tighter against his front before he’s rubbing up and down your back (a third realization then hits him: that it feels awfully natural to embrace each other in this way, and that he also doesn’t really like the idea of making you cry).

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you murmur into him, “of course I’d be crying. I’ve been worried sick this whole time.”

outfit teaser: teyvat style – red dead of night ☆ diluc

— GAME OF TRUST

banda x gn!reader

genre: friends to enemies to ?

warnings: mentions of death, killing, blood, manipulation, alcohol usage, aib stuff, barely proofread sorry lol

synopsis: Being at the Borderlands wasn’t enough, you just had to meet the person you’d told you would kill if you saw him again. Seems like the way you saw things changed during that time.

author’s note: yeah. so i’ve been writing this for days and i’m still not satisfied w it much but i wanted to post it so there you go. i might edit it but! yea!!

Three years prior to the Borderlands.

“Seriously.” you scoffed, bandaging the arm of the boy sitting in front of you. “How many times do you plan to do this, exactly?”

‘This’, referred to Banda, your close friend and unofficial roommate, coming to your apartment unannounced with injuries and blood all over him. Every time, he’d greet you with a sheepish, barely-apologetic smile and get you to let him in with an innocent tilt of his head. You’d have him sit at the counter of your bathroom so you could clean up his wounds.

It’s not that you blindly trusted him. You just couldn’t care less what he did to get injured. What bothered you, however, was—

“I don’t know. Depends on whether or not you’ll continue to take care of me when it happens.” he said, taking advantage of the short distance between the two of you to try and catch your gaze.

— Him. In general. He was a problem in itself. You were used to him, sure, but that didn’t make him flirting with you every other day any more bearable. Especially since you liked him. It was obvious to everyone including the two of you that you had always been friends who were maybe-more-than-that. But nothing ever happened, really. That was just the dynamic of your relationship.

“I’m not your personal nurse.”

“Aw.”

You indulged him and met his eyes, albeit yours were filled with a mix of annoyance and tiredness— A cocktail he seemed to like considering the smile that pulled at his lips.

“You’re so annoying. God.” you whispered, not noticing where your eyes fixated.

“And you’re staring at my lips.” he replied, teasing, “What? Want a taste?” he asked and suddenly got so close to your face you almost stumbled back. Except you didn’t. You looked at him with wide eyes and his smile widened.

Then you calmed down, scoffed, and pushed him back.

“Stop looking at me like that.” you spoke, tone low but not entirely threatening. You clicked your tongue when he only raised his eyebrows, like he didn’t get what you meant. “And stop acting innocent.”

“What about me makes you think I’m not?”

You grabbed a cotton ball of disinfectant and roughly pressed it into a cut on his cheekbone. All that did was make him wince a little and close his eye. You sighed and tossed the cotton ball away. “I don’t know. Everything?”

“Come on.” he exhaled as you grabbed a band-aid at the side. The TV in your living room was quiet, but loud enough to be heard in the beat of silence that passed.

“ — A man from Tokyo College was found dead in a residential area near the university. He died from blunt force trauma after seemingly getting into a fight. Reports say he was at a bar with friends before this. The police suspect a drunken fight with a classmate that turned sour.”

Your movements slowed to a stop.

Banda was getting drinks with some upperclassmen he didn’t like tonight. You knew it because you’d asked him why he even bothered going a few days prior. You knew it because he’d told you he wouldn’t be able to make it to your study session because of it. You’re not sure why all your senses pointed an accusatory finger towards the person you considered your best friend at this moment but you couldn’t help it.

“Sunato.”

“What is it?” he asked.

You didn’t feel your gaze move up to meet his. When you did, he was already smiling at you. You wondered if he had made it a point to intentionally stop speaking at that moment.

“Hm?” he tilted his head.

“Sunato.” you repeated, the name sounding a sour shade of uncertainty on your tongue. “What happened tonight?”

He wasn’t smiling anymore. He didn’t seem annoyed, but you couldn’t read him. The silence that followed your words was suffocating— Unbearably so. Each second of quiet staring was making your ears ring. It was deafening. You wondered if there was any sound at all. Even the TV felt like white noise at this point.

Banda stepped down from the counter.

One step forward.

One step back.

Your bathroom wasn’t the definition of big. But when your back hit the wall, Banda didn’t move more. There was a safe distance between the two of you that he didn’t seem to feel like crossing. Nevertheless in this moment, his mere presence felt overwhelming.

“Things.” he finally answered, quietly. “I pretended to drink a few shots with those third-years. Didn’t try to pretend to like them. They got annoyed and we fought.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?”

He took a step forward and came so close you felt all your sensed melt away for a moment. A short moment that felt as long as ever.

Then he grabbed the band-aid from between your tightening fingers and looked up at you. He smiled casually, moving back with a shrug of his shoulders. “And nothing.”

You felt like a weight was lifted from your chest, but the tension in the air didn’t dissipate entirely. Banda peeled off the plastic bits of the band-aid, before staring at himself in the mirror above your sink to carefully place it on his wound.

Then he glanced at you in the reflection. “What? Why are you stuck to the wall like this? You scared?”

You pushed yourself up instantly. “No. Why would I be?” you spoke quietly, turning away to walk outside the bathroom.

“Because you think I killed that man.”

A chill ran down your spine.

“I didn’t.” he said casually, lifting your worries a little, before plunging another knife into your chest, “Mean to, I mean.”

“Sunato.” you scoffed, turning around, only to realize he’d gotten impossibly close to you. Your voice weakened, much to tour dismay, “Stop joking around.”

“Should I?” he mused, tilting his head and searching your eyes. “I’m not joking, though.”

You shoved his shoulder and he only smiled. This didn’t feel like seeing someone you didn’t know. It just felt like he revealed a part of himself he hadn’t tried to hide, but hadn’t spoken about. Like something both painfully obvious and incredibly easy to miss. Banda was serious— He would have killed one of those people if he felt like it. And from the amount of times he’d showed up bruised and bloody at your door, a part of you that made your stomach twist told you he might’ve killed someone already.

“Leave. I won’t tell anyone.” you said, “ But if I ever see you again, I’ll kill you myself.” you spoke before you could think about it.

He didn’t argue, seemingly pleased with your response.

“If you try to kill me, be certain I’ll do the same.”

Present day.

Jack of Hearts.

You sighed audibly as you let the choker click around your neck. Getting used to playing games so much it was a routine was almost worrying. Alas.

You walked up the stairs to the guards’ room and took a long look at every person present. They all seemed to either be grouped up, having come over there with someone, or alone. You walked over to a spot with less people, and leaned against the wall of the corridor. On the other side of it, someone was staring at you.

You turned to meet their gaze. Then your eyebrows furrowed. “… The tag game?”

The boy in a white jacket chuckled. “Nice to see you again.”

You laughed a little as you turned back around. It wasn’t often you met people from previous games again. In this case, it was almost comforting. He didn’t seem all that bad.

Footsteps echoed from the stairs and your attention moved there. You stared at the staircase— People around you didn’t seem really attentive, not really caring about the last player for this game joining in. You had taken the second to last choker. So it could only be that. You figured making sure you saw every player could be useful.

Your eyes widened once you caught sight of the new person’s face. Your gazes met for a split second and you could swear you both scoffed— Although he seemed more like he was laughing.

The first round went by swiftly.

As expected, no one tried killing anyone. It was too early— Too risky. You stepped out of the cell with a deep sigh. You’d joined Urumi’s group so she wouldn’t try and turn the group of annoyingly naive followers she had against you at some point, but no part of you was pleased either. Everything about that girl screamed manipulator.

You started to wonder how many manipulative people were present in this game. Almost unfortunately, more naive ones seemed to be there— Which meant bigger groups to deal with if their leader was against you.

While the first one round went by calmly, you didn’t expect the rest to follow that rhythm. And just as expected, while everyone fell in mostly quiet conversation, the brute from the beginning of the game brought the person he’d decided to pick on to the main room with undeserved punches and kicks. You heaved a sigh at the sight.

The next few rounds were the real start of the game.

When someone told the poor guy to lie to the man who’d been beating him to know the suit on his collar, you weren’t against it. If that man was to die, it would be even better for his victim to kill him. Your only problem with this, really, was Banda Sunato staring right at you as his lips worded out the synonym of ‘kill him’ to the man. You’d chuckled dryly and he only gave you this unreadable look that made you want nothing more than wrap your hands around his neck.

Round four came around.

You were getting tired. You sighed deeply, chest heaving. You tried to focus, really. But it would’ve all been easier if you hadn’t been in the same game as him. Your hands touched the bottles of flavored drinks on the shelf in front of you. “They would taste awful warm. Couldn’t they refrigerate them?” you mumbled, complaining to yourself.

Footsteps slowed down next to you. Irritatingly familiar.

Fingers brushed against the nape of your neck briefly, sending a chill down your spine. “Your suit is Spade.” Banda’s voice whispered close to your ear, “You should be careful of who you trust.”

“Like I should trust you.” you spoke quietly, kind enough not to announce to everyone here that he was just as suspicious as they probably though. You turned to look at him and he smiled.

“Am I not trustworthy to you?” he breathed out a laugh, “That’s five years of friendship you’re ignoring.”

“Fuck off.”

“You’re sweet.” he hummed, leaving you alone nevertheless.

Years. Years without seeing him once. And this is the first conversation you have. It’s almost fitting.

You went and sat at the table the boy whose name you learned was Chishiya Shuntaro was sitting at, along with Ippei Oka. They seemed to be the most two trustworthy of the bunch.

Chishiya was frank. Blunt to a fault. This was assurance that he wouldn’t lie to you. Following the way he seemed to think from the few times you’d talk and overheard him, it didn’t line up with him to lie just to kill. Except if he was the Jack of Hearts and took his time gaining your trust.

Ippei was honest. Overly kind and unable to harm anyone. Your doubts of it being a facade faded once the girl manipulating an entire group of people— Urumi, told them to kill someone. You’d made it a point to stare at his eyes when she finally showed her true colors. There was no faking the terror in his features. Except if he was a really good actor.

You hated to admit but only one person in this entire prison had your entire trust. Ironically enough, it was also the person you told yourself you trusted the least.

You made eye contact with him across the cafeteria and he raised his eyebrows like he was asking you ‘What?’ then a smile, ‘Missed me?’.

You looked away.

Urumi was getting her group to kill someone again. A murderer or another, really. This was a prison, after all.

Round ten.

The cafeteria was probably the nicest place to be when it wasn’t suffocatingly crowded. Which it was, at the moment, despite the amount of players that had been killed already. You grabbed a box of chocolate Pocky and walked out of the cafeteria swiftly. There really was nothing good that came out of staying with people. Especially in these games.

Walking up the stairs, you tore off the packaging before grabbing a stick and holding it between your teeth.

Then someone grabbed you. They pulled you into a corner you hadn’t been paying attention to, and in a second, Banda was leaning against the wall and you were hovering over him. He leaned forward and took a bite out of the Pocky that was still in your mouth and smiled. “Thanks.”

“Really?” you scoffed, finishing the rest as you pushed yourself up, “What’s wrong with you? What do you want?”

“Your cooperation.” he said. You felt your defenses fall the moment he spoke. To be honest every time you two would exchange a few words, the same thing happened. You weakened in front of him. It was like letting him watch you crumble down into his hands without him even having to try— You hated it.

Even after all this time there was a part of you that was too attached to him. Too much to simply move on after the way you ended things. Before everything he was your best friend. He used to be. And that’s why the genuineness in his voice felt this important. Banda Sunato was a liar when he wanted to. He lied as easy as he breathed but preferred to dance around the truth. However this time, he really wanted your help.

You couldn’t see why.

“You have that guy following you around. He looks like he’d trust you even if you held a gun to his head, why are you asking me for anything?” you asked and the usual bite left your tone, unconsciously.

Banda did that thing— Searching for an answer to questions untold in your eyes. He stared and stared and all you could do was freeze in place. Then he would look right at you. Properly.

“You’re the only one I can really trust.”

“So now we’re just lying?”

He chuckled, tilting his head a little, gaze wavering. “I don’t know if you should be talking about lies. Didn’t you say you’d kill me if we saw each other again?” he looked back at you, “I’m still standing. What’s up with that?”

“You would’ve seen right through me. And killed me afterwards.” you only half-lied, “I didn’t feel like risking that.”

He raised his eyebrows. He wasn’t buying it. “I wouldn’t kill my best friend.”

“Banda.”

“Oh, we’re on last-name basis? Sorry.” he said emotionlessly, “I guess you really did mean it when you said you didn’t want to see me again. I thought you were joking.”

You made a face and he chuckled, “Come on. Turn around.”

“That’s awfully authoritative.” you mocked him. He raised his eyebrows, then pushed himself off the wall, closing the distance between the two of you just like that. You flinched a little but he only took a step to the side, then walked behind you.

“Let’s see.” he near-whispered. His fingers settled on the sides of your neck softly but enough to make your chest burn, “That’s Heart.” he said, impossibly quiet and close to you. There was something in his voice when he talked to you sometimes that you hated. It was quiet and low and touched parts of your hearts it shouldn’t. Even years ago, he always acted like this. He played around with your feelings, testing your reaction, for seemingly no reason at all.

Just for fun, you guessed.

You turned around just enough to look at him and he waited. You heaved a long sigh, before grabbing his shoulder and turning him around. He chuckled as he followed the movement, clearly amused by your behavior.

“Diamond.”

“Mm.” he hummed, spinning on his heel to turn back around, “Thank you. I’ll probably need your help in the last round.”

“Who says I’ll help you?”

“Do you genuinely have a good reason not to?”

You took a breath. And then left him.

Round thirteen. Or the last round, according to Chishiya. You were tense— Awfully so. It’s not that you feared dying. Or at the very least, not entirely. But it was more so the quiet plotting, revelations of alliances, last-minute decisions made based on instinct alone that scared you. Chishiya and Banda had both implied this round would be the last.

“Spade.” you spoke clearly. Ten seconds passed.

You tilted your head once the time was up and walked to the door, before waiting. Ten seconds more. Then you carefully and quietly opened it. You were careful to close it just as silently once you heard two familiar voices talking on the floor below you.

“So you do trust me, after all.” Banda said, stepping out of his cell. He was the one to tell you to wait. You almost regretted your decision the second you heard him claim you trusted him again.

“And you trust me.” you replied, reffering to the fact that he was clearly alive after trusting your word on his symbol. “Surprising.”

You looked over at him and saw the man he had seemingly become the ally of walk ahead of him. Banda tilted his head, “Unsurprisingly. Will you wait for me when we leave?”

You looked downstairs for a moment, seeing the suspected Jack of Hearts get cornered, and then looked back up at Banda. “Hm.” you hummed, looking around, “Should I?”

He simply shrugged before walking away, leaving you with just a smile. In a world like this one, was killing people really something to be shocked about anymore? After three years without him and more than a month in this place, were your thoughts on the matter that made you cut him off really still the same?

You scoffed. Of course not.

When the airship exploded above the prison, you stayed at the entrance to wait. And when Banda finally came, he smiled more genuinely than you’d seen him in years.

“You’re bloody.”

“Nothing new.”

“… Annoyingly so.”

“I’m not going to be offended if you don’t say it back,” they said softly. “I love you. No pressure. You don’t need to panic about it.”

“It really doesn’t bother you if I don’t say it back yet?” 

“Three words don’t define us. We were happy before I said it, I don’t need anything more from you than what you have already given.”

They kissed them then. Didn’t know if that was love, but maybe that didn’t matter.

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