Phainon X F!reader. Sfw ⏜ .𖥔 ݁₊ The Moment He Realizes He Loves You.

─── 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 4.7k | content: fluff (i promise), slight insecurities, comfort, 5 times he says yes and 1 time he says no

notes: ok ok so guys !! i know i’ve been posting angst recently so i offer you comfort sae !! <3 this man has my entire heart so i’m just gonna embrace it hehe may or may not have been thinking of ‘daylight’ when i wrote this .

summary: the way sae loves you is beautiful. it’s nothing like you envisioned and something you never knew you needed.

“be my girlfriend, then, idiot.”

he’s handsome, seventeen.

even more handsome when he’s on the field, being the beast you know he is. he dribbles past everyone like they’re robots, like they’re snails. he gets into the penalty area and scores, and everyone in the stand cheers.

if there’s one common knowledge in your high school, it’s that itoshi sae is one of the world’s best soccer players.

maybe it’s no wonder that you’re holding a bag full of gifts for sae for valentines, being assistant manager for your school’s soccer team. it’s astounding how heavy this bag is. but you’ll know that in the end, whatever’s inside will likely get distributed between the entire team anyway, given how sae never accepts a single one.

“is it that time of the year again?” sae sighs, squirting water from his bottle into his mouth, towel hanging around his neck as he walks out of the locker room shirtless, fresh after a shower and hair all damp, sticking to the sides of his face.

still handsome.

“would it kill you to accept at least one of them?”

you expect one of his usual retorts—maybe a yes or a one of them could be poisonous. but instead, he grabs the bag from you, still frowning. “fine then,” he says, opening the bag and peering inside before he turns his gaze back onto you, “which one’s from you?”

the one with the purple post-it attached to sae’s favourite candy bar.

“i didn’t give you any, itoshi,” you lie, keeping your calm and crossing your arms. but sae cocks a brow because he doesn’t believe you. “really!”

“yeah, you sure about that?” sae’s tone takes a surprisingly gentle turn, and you find it hard to get used to. especially when it’s coupled with an amused expression.

“really, i’d die before giving anything to a grump like you.”

sae nods his head like he doesn’t believe you and starts rifling through the contents. he takes something out—a candy bar with a purple post-it attached to it. you can’t escape from him even if you tried.

“you’re the most irritating smart handsome guy i know, i hope you make it to the big leagues, i’ll never get tired of watching you play,” sae reads out loud, monotonously because it’s his way of mocking you. his gaze shifts from the note up to you, and he has his answer by your unwillingness to meet his eyes. “slick.”

“oh, shut up,” you tell him before turning on your heels and walking off.

“you want me so bad.”

“you wish, itoshi sae.”

“hey, take the rest of these away from me,” sae calls after you, referring to the big bag of valentines’ gifts you’d just left him with.

you turn around, walking backwards. “i’m not your girlfriend, itoshi, not my job!”

sae smirks. “be my girlfriend then, idiot.”

taken off guard, you fail to watch where you’re walking and fall over a broom, knocking several of the janitor’s stuff over. sae runs over, straight-faced while he holds his hand out to you.

“damn klutz,” he remarks as he pulls you up on your feet.

you’re thankful sae’s not the kind to make jokes like how he swept you off your feet, but the close proximity is making you giddy, in a good way, and you’re not sure you want to pass up on that.

“so?”

“so what, itoshi? and let me go,” you say, trying to pull away from him. he doesn’t let go though.

“say yes, then i’ll let go,” he tells you, and you can feel his breath fanning your lips and you’re sure he’s having a field day watching you get flustered.

“sure you want me, itoshi sae?” because a part of you finds that hard to believe, with the way he rejects other girls left and right and barely feels any remorse.

but what you don’t know is how different you are to him. if he dare say, special. maybe it’s the way you’ve always seemed like the stubborn kind, the kind of girl that refuses to ask for help but secretly wants to be protected. the kind of girl who can always help herself, but kill him if he thinks you’re someone who wouldn’t mind having someone to lean on.

maybe at some point, he started to want to be that person for you. no matter how many times you scream his name for not complying to schedules, no matter how many times you flip your hair against his face. you have everyone on the soccer team on a leash, and most of all sae.

that’s the first time he tells you—yes, he wants you.

“not even if you bribe me.”

at nineteen, sae’s serious about you.

it’s no secret that he’s devoted—you can feel it. because sae isn’t the type to profess his love every day, no. he’s the kind that shows it through his actions, through the way he automatically carries your shopping for you, through the way he always takes your side in public, through the way he looks at you whenever you’re talking.

you have no doubt about it. it doesn’t even cross your mind that he might stray. yeah, you have your priorities, and he has his. you’ll go after them, and he’ll go after his—there’s no reason why you can’t chase your dreams in parallel.

your parents think otherwise, though.

like some rather typical parents do, they’re sceptical; sae can see it in their eyes. the way they furrow their brows whenever you invite him to chime in during dinner, the way they ask investigative questions—things about his past history that even you never asked him.

“mom!” you’re fed up with their interrogation tactics, shooting a warning glare at your parents.

your mom and dad look at each other in resignation before resuming to quietly eat their dinner. you’re reluctant to leave sae alone at the dinner table with your parents while you help to wash up, but sae tells you he’ll be fine. because he will.

they’re humans. they’re like you, just older and less prettier. why should sae be scared?

as expected, the moment you turn the tap on, your parents jump on him.

“you know, she really likes you,” your mom tells him. “i can’t say the same for you, though.”

sae’s never navigated around conversations with parents. he doesn’t know the first thing about this. he’s just keeping his fingers crossed he doesn’t fuck up.

“you look like someone who has a lot of girls, itoshi,” your father chimes in before sae can speak up. “you have a lot of girls on the side?”

he could not be more wrong.

“none, sir.”

why does this effort feel much more than necessary?

“why y/n?” your mother jumps in, and for the first time tonight, sae spots a genuine curiosity in her eyes.

not the best question to ask someone who doesn’t even remotely talk about their feelings. sae finds himself stumped, but your mother is, fortunately, a nice person deep down.

“just tell me this,” she leans forward, and your father seems to relax a little bit, sinking back against his chair. none of you realise the tap’s turned off. “do you love her?”

that’s… premature, if sae has any say in it. and he thinks it’s criminal that he’s telling your mother before he even tells you, but he knows that not admitting it would likely cause a rift between you and them—not something he wants.

making you miserable? no thank you.

so he nods, “yes, i do.”

“you realise that—”

“sir, let me put it this way: you can’t force me to stay away from her, not even if you bribe me.”

from the kitchen, you smile as you listen. looks like you had nothing to worry about after all.

“they’re nothing compared to you.”

you love seeing sae living his dreams; love having front-row seats to his matches, love catching the fleeting glimpses he gives after he wins.

he’s twenty-one and thriving in the soccer scene, more than ever. world-famous and revered. the two of you are stronger than ever, still, because despite how sae looks, he’s much softer than people think.

when he’s running late from practice, he texts you the moment he can, tells you what’s up. when he has to cancel on you, he makes sure he makes it up to you. if he has soccer obligations on special occasions, he’ll let you know.

it’s funny thinking back to the days when you used to squabble with each other, to the days when everyone was tired of hearing you and sae argue.

not that that should be a problem now anymore—why? simple, because non-disclosure agreements are ass. but a highly recommended thing by his publicist; to protect his image, and then he told you not to take it personally because he’s asking all of sae’s close contacts to sign it too.

which didn’t take long.

it was mostly rin and his parents, and some other guys he used to know back in high school.

oh, and there’s you. apparently, you can’t divulge anything about being in a relationship with itoshi sae. so, as far as the world is concerned, he’s a bachelor.

“it’ll sell better,” was all the explanation his publicist offered.

sae had been against it, because why should he hide you from the world? and it’s stupid. but his publicist is smart, pointing out that you might get harassed online if his loyal fans find out. (to which sae begrudgingly agreed to, for the interim.)

it was fine, up to a point, but you’d never really considered how you’d feel seeing all these headlines of sae possibly being romantically linked with all these socialites and up-and-coming movie stars.

a part of you, the prideful part, is too stuck-up to ask your boyfriend for assurance. mainly because you think it’s stupid. sae constantly texts you when he’s not with you (as much as his schedule allows), and whenever he’s done for the day he goes back home and calls you if he can.

the other part of you, the lovestruck one, is afraid that maybe you can’t measure up to everyone else. that just maybe, you’re worlds apart and you’re not good enough.

usually you’d wait for sae to tell you he’s home, you’d let him rest his mind on the way back, but this time you’re impulsive and you’re dialing his number before you know it.

“hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, picking up after just two rings. even he knows you don’t usually initiate the calls.

“um,” you stutter because you don’t actually know how to tell him you’re calling to ask for assurance. despite having been together for four years, you realise that neither of you have actually sat down and talked about feelings.

“babe, talk to me,” sae urges you, and you can hear him getting off the bus. he must have just reached his apartment complex. he must’ve been tired from an entire day of intensive bootcamp and here you are, calling him with your trivial matters.

“it’s nothing, sae, forget it.”

“wait, what—”

you hang up before he can say anything and quickly text him.

i’m feeling a little sick tonight, just going to rest early.

sae leaves you on read and you think you’ve fended him off.

you did not.

an hour later, he’s at your door, carrying all your favorite convenience store snacks and a worried expression.

“what is it?” he asks you. you’re a little too stunned to speak. sae lets himself in, placing the snacks on your dining table before he really looks at you, surveying your face. “what were you crying about?”

you suddenly feel stupid for thinking your puffy eyes wouldn’t give you away.

sae tips your chin up when you try to look down. “y/n, tell me,” and he sounds only concerned, and the guilt builds up inside you.

so you tell him—you tell him about your intrusive thoughts as he lets you lay against his chest on the couch. you tell him about your insecurities as he sits in silence and listens. you tell him that you think it’s stupid of you to think this and you’re beginning to think you’re an ass for keeping him up so late when he has training tomorrow morning.

but sae doesn’t feel that. not one bit.

“it’s not stupid,” he tells you, and if you’d been able to see his expression, you’d know that he can never look at anyone the same way he looks at you. “all those girls you’re worried about, they’re nothing compared to you.”

“really?” you sniffle, appreciating the fact that even though he’s horrible at talking emotions, he’s trying his best for you.

sae pulls some hair away from your face and you pull back to get a good look at him. “really, stupid.” you laugh and he laughs, and now you’re really feeling stupid because there’s no way sae would ever choose anyone else over you. would never dream of having any other option.

“promise?”

sae sighs, in that lovingly way he does. “yes, i promise,” and he means it—he’s never thought of being with anyone else. “i love you, don’t i?”

you nod, chuckling because yes, yes he does. and yes, you know that more than anyone. even if it has to be kept under wraps for now; there’s no cause for concern.

when you fall asleep on his chest and sae’s too cautious to wake you up, your mother wakes up to take some water and stumbles upon the sight. she greets sae with a nod and a smile, the softest one he’s seen so far.

“my daughter has good taste.”

“that’s a secret.”

sae’s only getting more and more famous as he gets older. a year later and he’s already garnering attention from everyone, with girls lining up to be a possible mrs itoshi.

you’re still unknown; hidden in the crevices, tucked between pieces of signed contracts. you’re dealing with it, it’s fine. it’s going great, only because you’ve learned to get used to it. it was either that or to call everything off, and you don’t want that.

it’s a friday night and sae’s away for another match, this time in london, and you’re watching post-game interviews on your screen while you finish your pack of chips.

they finally get to sae, throwing the normal obligatory questions like how he feels after winning the match, how he feels like being the man of the match. until they start asking personal questions like who he’d like to dedicate his win to.

he dodges the first few easily with vague answers. but then they get even more personal.

“so, itoshi, rumours have it that you’ve been in a long-term relationship now, is that true?”

you freeze up hearing the question, noticing how sae momentarily looks to the right before he rolls his eyes and turns back to the interviewer.

“maybe,” he answers, and you’re surprised. that’s the first time he’s probably not listened to his publicist.

“now who is this lucky lady?”

sae sighs, “that’s a secret.”

his interview ends there as he retreats back into the locker room, your phone vibrating almost immediately after.

one day i’m gonna show you off to everyone.

you smile as you type your response.

sure you want the whole world to know you belong to me?

you expect a retort about how it’s the other way around, but he does one better.

fuck yes.

“you make me lose my goddamn mind.”

you’re both comfortable, twenty-three and lounging in sae’s apartment, curled up in the couch, fingers intertwined and spending a lazy sunday in.

it’s right smack in the middle of his break and you’ve got him to yourself for four entire months. it’s been good, so good.

everyday you’re reminded of why you love him, of why he’s yours. the way he pulls you back against him in the mornings when you wake up. the way he says your name when he’s sleepy, the raspiness in his voice known only to you.

“hey, i’m heading out for a while,” he tells you, slipping on his slides and unlocking the door.

that’s how it usually goes; you’re still not allowed to admit to your relationship, even if sae has hinted at being in a committed relationship. what his publicist considers as minimising risks is that both of you shouldn’t be seen out in public together. that’s why you’re having fun nights out at odd hours and being romantic in private.

sae often just leaves in the middle of the day, some alone time and maybe get some groceries since you can’t let yourself be seen leaving his apartment. it’s not an ideal situation, but you’ll take it. the last thing you want to do is make his life harder.

while he’s gone, you do the chores—make the bed, defrost some chicken breasts, vacuum, maybe wash the laundry. he’s doing his best to learn the right way to do chores (because one time when you asked him to help vacuum he ended up vacuuming the bathroom too), but you find it’s easier if you just do them instead.

usually he comes back by now, takes about a half an hour because his apartment is nestled in the centre of town, surrounded by all the stores and amenities he could need. but you stare at the clock.

it’s been an hour and a half, what’s he up to?

sae doesn’t even respond when you text him. right as you’re about to call him, worried, you hear his keys jangling and the door opening.

you expected to find him carrying a huge bag of groceries with the amount of time he was gone, but he’s empty-handed and you’re starting to think maybe he was hounded by paparazzi.

“did you have trouble with some press?” you ask innocently, mop in your hand.

sae sighs, “fuck no, thank god.” he toes off his slides and tosses his keys on the dining table, taking his cap off and tousling his hair. his pretty pretty reddish brown locks.

“oh, then where’d you go?”

sae smirks at you this time, hiding something behind his back.

“what’re you up to, itoshi?”

he rolls his eyes because you only call him that when you’re afraid. “relax, baby,” he coos, inching closer to you and revealing what he’s holding.

sae’s holding up your keychain; a mini figurine of sae you got from one of the gift shops during his match. but you spot something that wasn’t there before—a key, painted black like the door to his apartment.

“sae?”

“this key’s yours.”

you blink at him, a little stupefied. “sae, did you get lost while trying to find the key copy place?”

sae clicks his tongue, annoyed. “shut up, do you want this or not?” by the way he’s all red, he did get lost.

you take the key from him, suppressing a grin. “aw thanks, now i can let myself in.”

sae sighs again, “i’m asking you to move in, stupid.”

“y-you want me to move in here?”

“yes.”

“like, you want to see my face everytime you wake up and before you go to bed?”

“yeah.”

“you want me to live here with you, together?”

“yes and if you ask anymore i’ll take it back.” because sae’s aware that you’re asking out of disbelief—he loves his alone time yet here he is, asking you to be with him whenever he’s back home. which isn’t that hard to believe for him; you’re the only one he’d ever want to be alone together with.

you giggle, “okay okay, roomie.”

sae only sighs. “you make me lose my goddamn mind.”

“i don’t want this anymore.”

it’s your fault, it’s all your fault.

sae’s publicist is at the house, screaming at the top of his lungs, and by sae’s unamused expression, he’s not having it. he’s just controlling himself so he doesn’t end up getting a lawsuit filed against him for employee abuse.

“who thinks it’s safe to go out wearing their boyfriend’s jersey, which isn’t even for sale yet by the way,” he rants, staring straight at you, “and go down and buy a birthday cake on his birthday and take it up to his apartment, all while knowing that the press is gonna be camping outside the complex?”

he makes you feel stupid.

sae steps in front of you, his broad shoulders the only thing making you feel safe from his publicist’s constant attack. “you yell at my girl one more time and you’re done,” sae threatens, managing to get his publicist to storm out of the house.

apparently, sae had a big endorsement deal all planned with the one stipulation being that he had to appear a bachelor up until the stunt was over. and now his publicist’s mad because that’s all down the drain and his commissions are gone.

“hey, you okay?” sae asks you, gently, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

you’re fine, you’ll get over it. it’s just what his publicist said that gets in your head.

it’s like you’re trying to ruin his deals.

being with a famous pro player comes with some form of caution, you know that right?

she’s just in the fucking way!

weeks pass and it’s not easier to drown out the voices. sae’s good at it, so he’s already moved past it, resumes work as per usual, assumes you’re okay too because of the multitude of times you insisted that you are.

but really? it’s fucking difficult.

if you thought you were insecure before everyone knew about you, it’s ten times worse now. while the majority of people are nice about it, saying wonderful stuff like how the two of you are so sweet and look so good together, there’s still so many people who shit on you.

wait, i thought he was with that model from that one shoot? damn, he got the short end of the stick with his gf lol

lmaooo what a downgrade from that other soccer star he was dating

@itosae you okay, dude? you blind or something?

there’s a lot more than that. a lot. some of them even found your account, messaged you directly and said some less-than-nice things.

you keep it all from sae, though. the last thing you need to do is distract him any further, especially when he has the champions’ league coming up.

“i’m fine, mom,” you say one night when your mother calls to check up on you. “i promise.”

you’re a bad daughter, keeping these from your mother who’s just concerned. she isn’t convinced, but she hangs up anyway afterwards, telling you to rest.

it’s easy for things to spiral when you keep them all to yourself. the voices in your head that belongs to sae’s disgruntled fans growing louder, drowning out the words of affection sae tells you everyday.

until one day you think you can’t take it anymore.

they’re all telling you that you’re not good enough, that you’re just a burden. his publicist is nowhere near your side, instead silently siding with the fans who berate you. sae’s oblivious to it all, you think, because he doesn’t do anything about it.

one day you’re just sitting side by side, watching a movie, sae’s arm around your shoulders, his fingers idly twirling your hair.

“sae, we need to talk.”

like the lover he is, he pauses the movie, adjusting himself to look at you. “yeah, what is it?” he’s smiling at you because he has no idea what’s coming.

and you know, you know if you tell him what you really think that it won’t work, so you put on your best game face. truth be told, you’d been building up to this moment anyway, purposely telling him you’d be busy whenever he’s back from his games just so you won’t spend time together. it was all to give him the illusion that you just weren’t interested anymore, no matter how fucked up that sounds.

“i don’t want this anymore.”

sae furrows his brows. “what? what’s this?”

you sigh, feigning frustration. “this, sae. us. i don’t want this anymore.”

“why not?”

“because i’m tired. i’m tired of dating someone who’s half here and half not, i’m tired of tolerating your stupid habits, i’m tired of being with you, sae.” you’re raising your voice, but sae doesn’t flinch. his expression doesn’t even change. you’re beginning to think you broke him, made him malfunction.

when sae doesn’t say anything, you continue.

“i want to break up.”

sae looks away from you, at the patch of rug on the floor beside him, jaw clenched. he blinks a few times before he looks back at you.

“no.”

now it’s your turn to be confused. “w-what?”

sae tilts his head to the side, concern etched in his expression. “i said no, y/n,” he repeats, sighing. he puts his forefinger under your chin, his thumb caressing the side of your face. “who are you trying to fool?”

“i-i mean what i said, sae.”

you’re in disbelief. you hate how he knows you better than anyone else, maybe better than yourself, and you’re beginning to realise no one can come close to sae for you.

“so you don’t love me anymore? don’t wanna be my girl anymore?” he asks, but it’s redundant because he knows the answers. “i love you, okay? and i’d be a shit boyfriend if i let you go like this.”

you’re speechless, so you don’t say a thing, just sit awkwardly in front of him while for the first time in his life, he resolves to being there for you.

“look, i don’t know what mean things people are saying online, but fuck them,” he tells you.

“sae, it’s not easy,” you sniffle.

“then talk to me, and stop shutting me out, you idiot,” he chastises, and you find yourself falling onto him. “i fired my publicist too, by the way. couldn’t stand him spouting shit about you even after i told him to shut the fuck up.”

you laugh at his exasperation, your chest somehow feeling lighter.

“and, do me a favor? ignore the mean comments, yeah?” sae tells you, softer this time. “i kinda don’t ever wanna lose you, so.” he has his head resting on top of yours, your fingers intertwined and your heart soaring.

until now, you’d thought it’d be easy to drive sae away. you thought if you’d been enough of a nuisance, an eyesore, that he’d just take your word for it and run, that he’d throw a fit and let you leave.

but he doesn’t.

sae stays. and he tells you to stay. because he doesn’t know much about laundry, or how to handle feelings, but what he knows is how to love you. he knows what you need and he knows what you’re thinking, even if he doesn’t necessarily tell you about it.

and sae is a bitch to the world. he’s not the friendliest to fans nor does he care about making friends or enemies.

but to you, he’s everything. he says no to either of you straying and he says yes to whatever you ask except when it doesn’t make sense and you never knew that this was the beauty of being with someone who wants you—in every sense of the word.

there’s a certain threshold to pass before you can see everything clearly. suddenly it’s like the mean voices are faded into the background, and suddenly sae’s love is all you hear, and nothing is blurred because now all you can think about is how even if the world fails you, sae never will.

“hey, sae?”

“mhm?”

“thank you.”

he smiles against your head and you can feel it. “i love you, stupid.”

and you love him; recognising your handwriting and sweeping you off your feet. you love him; braving your parents, living his dreams. you love him; protecting you and showing up at your door. you love him; bashful yearning and unwavering emotions.

so you kiss him in response, and that’s all he needs to know that you’re with him for life.

WEBSITES FOR WRITERS {masterpost}

E.A. Deverell - FREE worksheets (characters, world building, narrator, etc.) and paid courses;

Hiveword - Helps to research any topic to write about (has other resources, too);

BetaBooks - Share your draft with your beta reader (can be more than one), and see where they stopped reading, their comments, etc.;

Charlotte Dillon - Research links;

Writing realistic injuries - The title is pretty self-explanatory: while writing about an injury, take a look at this useful website;

One Stop for Writers - You guys... this website has literally everything we need: a) Description thesaurus collection, b) Character builder, c) Story maps, d) Scene maps & timelines, e) World building surveys, f) Worksheets, f) Tutorials, and much more! Although it has a paid plan ($90/year | $50/6 months | $9/month), you can still get a 2-week FREE trial;

One Stop for Writers Roadmap - It has many tips for you, divided into three different topics: a) How to plan a story, b) How to write a story, c) How to revise a story. The best thing about this? It's FREE!

Story Structure Database - The Story Structure Database is an archive of books and movies, recording all their major plot points;

National Centre for Writing - FREE worksheets and writing courses. Has also paid courses;

Penguin Random House - Has some writing contests and great opportunities;

Crime Reads - Get inspired before writing a crime scene;

The Creative Academy for Writers - "Writers helping writers along every step of the path to publication." It's FREE and has ZOOM writing rooms;

Reedsy - "A trusted place to learn how to successfully publish your book" It has many tips, and tools (generators), contests, prompts lists, etc. FREE;

QueryTracker - Find agents for your books (personally, I've never used this before, but I thought I should feature it here);

Pacemaker - Track your goals (example: Write 50K words - then, everytime you write, you track the number of the words, and it will make a graphic for you with your progress). It's FREE but has a paid plan;

Save the Cat! - The blog of the most known storytelling method. You can find posts, sheets, a software (student discount - 70%), and other things;

I hope this is helpful for you!

(Also, check my blog if you want to!)

Woojin: *sneezes*

Chan: Bless you

Changbin: *sneezes*

Felix, already wrapping Changbin in blankets and feeding him soup: Oh my god, are you sick?! How could I have let this happen? You poor thing!

Jisung: *sneezes*

Hyunjin: Oh my fucking god shut the fuck up

Regis: Who is he?

Kingsglaive: Not a fuckin’ clue.

Regis: Well, whoever he is, he clearly wants to do us harm.

Ardyn, on the next roof over: FIGHT ME!

Regis, yelling out the window: WHO EVEN ARE YOU!

Ardyn: YOUR DOOM! NOW COME AND FACE ME LIKE A KING, YOU COWARD!

Regis: ???

Many years later.

Regis: It’s you. :/

Ardyn: It’s me :3~

LOWKEY

a kamisato ayato social media au

i’ve been lookin’ at you since half past two wanna take this downtown? this liquid courage got me way too honest

pairing — ayato x f! reader [ S2L! college au ]

summary — it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?

warnings — cursing, light angst

status — on-going / updates every other day

author’s note — in the smau, ayato is only a year older than ayaka. parts that have this symbol ‘ღ’ means its in written format.

profiles — teyvat stripers / overworked w no pay

ꕤ 01. damn rich kids

ꕤ 02. kamisato material (ღ)

ꕤ 03. wait, ayato?

ꕤ 04. ayaka material gworl

ꕤ 05. nice meeting you (ღ)

ꕤ 06. its just a tiny crush

ꕤ 07. he’s off limits to you

ꕤ 08. don’t leave me on read.

ꕤ 09. one question a day

ꕤ 10. okay new rule

ꕤ 11. i met you that night

ꕤ 12. fine, i admit it. she is.

ꕤ 13. how mediocre

ꕤ 14. shut up k no one likes u

ꕤ 15. pick another major

ꕤ 16. a dunk of cold water (ღ)

ꕤ 17. this is so exciting

ꕤ 18. lord im gonna have a stroke

—» bonus. lockscreen wallpaper

ꕤ 19. you can wear my sweater (ღ)

ꕤ 20. thats a secret

ꕤ 21. what a bunch of bullshit

ꕤ 22. mtoo drubk

ꕤ 23. even if you don’t remember (ღ)

ꕤ 24. ur acting like a coward

ꕤ 25. who says we wont?

ꕤ 26. only for today (ღ)

ꕤ 27. too good at goodbyes

ꕤ 28. stop being naive, ayato! (ღ)

ꕤ 29. i love horror movies

ꕤ 30.

ꕤ taglist — CLOSED. asks that are about being added to the taglist from here on out will be deleted. tell me if u want to be removed from the list or you changed usernames. thanks!

。MAYBE IT'S INTUITION (BUT SOME THINGS YOU JUST DON'T QUESTION)

━━ INCLUDES: ayato, gorou, heizou, itto, kazuha, scaramouche, thoma

━━ SUMMARY: sometimes it's a "eureka!" moment but sometimes, all you need is a little mundanity before realizing that your heart has been begging to love a certain someone for the longest time.

━━ CONTAINS: brief mentions of violence, reader is kidnapped to get under ayato's skin

━━ NOTES: posting new content? it's more likely than you think...

。 AYATO — “ cypressus custos | warden of the cypress forest ”

He knew he loved you when his carefully crafted façade melted under the fire that raged in his blood. His ever-present smile faltered as the paper he was holding crumpled at the intensity of his grip. The Commissioner of the Yashiro Commission knew very well the responsibilities and expectations that rest on his shoulders but as the dreadful report reached his ears, Kamisato Ayato found it easy to postpone his duties, rushing out into the field where you laid captured by his enemies. Very few would think it wise to play with the young man’s patience, knowing that the still waters could easily crash and break the bones of those who tried their luck against the waves but it appears that some people have yet to learn their lesson: he does not take lightly those who dared take from him, especially when it is someone particularly close to his heart.

。 GOROU — “ canis bellatoris | warrior's dog ”

He knew he loved you when a nightmare left him panting and disturbed and the first thing that came into his mind was making sure that you were safe. The logical part of his mind argued that no harm can ever befall you under the blanket of safety the Watatsumi Island offers you but the pounding anxiety in his being remained undeterred nonetheless. He found it unbecoming that a mighty General of the Army was now speeding through the quiet dirt paths of the village in his patterned nightwear but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Though ridicule from his peers may await him the next morning, all he could think about at the present was the dread that stems from the lack of your presence in his world.

。 HEIZOU — “ cervus minor | lesser deer ”

He knew he loved you when he hid the truth of his whereabouts from you with ease. Your birthday was fast approaching and while it pained him to do so, the esteemed Doushin of the Tenryou Commission smiled apologetically as he turned down your recent offer to have dinner together. He’d love nothing more, really, and any prior commitments, as long as they were not work-related, had always mattered less than short rendezvouses with you. Unfortunately, he couldn’t afford to miss the appointment he had with a glass blower whom he had commissioned to make your gift. What could he say? Some things are more important than the truth and the unadulterated glee that would soon cross your face was one of those few things.

。 ITTO — “ taurus iracundus | raging bull ”

He knew he loved you when his gang brought you up to fluster him into losing another match in TCG. Rather than being angry at their lowly methods to steal the victory from Arataki “The Ultimate TCG Champion” Itto, he only giggled before falling into a tangent about how “absolutely perfect you are and he’s a hundred and ninety-nine point nine, nine, nine, nine, nine percent sure that you’re the one for him because of course, the most stunning person in Teyvat should be with the handsomest, most friggin’ cool and awesome oni out there duh-“ His gang could only sigh before placing down their cards and mumbling lackluster “mhms” and “uh-huhs.” They know better than anyone that their boss man has so much pride for those he loves and when he starts talking about those he’s proud of? There’s no shutting him up until you or Shinobu take pity and decide to work your magic.

。 KAZUHA — “ acer palmatum | palmate maple ”

He knew he loved you when one cool autumn night, he found himself feeling lonely as he wandered about the mountain peaks of Liyue. The Crux fleet was stocking up on resources at the nearby harbor for their next venture in the seas and while that alone filled him with a sense of excitement, a lingering echo in the deepest crevices of his heart resounded loud and clear. An itch — or rather, a sincere longing that can only be satiated by catching a mere glimpse of your visage. Very rarely can you find the young heir of the Kaedehara clan resisting the direction of the wind but for the first time in a while, Kazuha was eager to come home. Alas, he'd probably only disappoint with how little tales he would be able to share with you so for now, he supposed he could busy himself with finding the perfect flower to press into a bookmark for you.

。 SCARAMOUCHE — “ kunikuzushi | country destroyer ”

He knew he loved you when thunder roared tremendously in his fury, shaking even the most stable of the earth but not once did lightning strike the trembling form of this pathetic, good-for-nothing subordinate of his. The balladeer is not one who hesitates and certainly not because his long-lost morality decided that it was the perfect time to resurface. Still, his fingers twitched in place and the venomous curses in his throat rumbled before dying down into more docile whispers. The thought that he, of all people, would show mercy unsettles him but he found that there is little that he could do when his treacherous mind posed him the question: “what would you think if you saw him?”

。 THOMA — “ rubeum scutum | red shield ”

He knew he loved you when he would subconsciously pause his duties at the mere mention of your name. Truthfully, he ought to take down the laundry before the rain starts to fall from the murky skies but as competent as he was, he couldn’t help but listen in as a few of your shrine maiden friends talked about your recent endeavors in Sumeru. A deep longing and a youthful giddiness clashed and fueled the rapid tha-thumps of his heart. It is not every day that Thoma hopes that he was not the Kamisato Clan’s reliable housekeeper but for the briefest of moments, he knew that there was nothing he couldn’t give if it meant being able to bear witness to your radiant smile instead of the cobwebs he should’ve been cleaning by now.

taglist / be added or removed here

@genshiningg @serenareiss @cloudybillows @abblebabble @scaraslover @ttaechi @sugarysylz @favonius-captain @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @lowilaufeyson @starforecasts @pumpikun

© 2021 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐗𝐗. all rights reserved. do not copy, claim, repost or translate in any platforms but reblogs are appreciated.

hello everyone!

i saw a lot of my mutuals reblogging stuff for writing and i thought i'd share my notes back from when i started writing and was obsessed to sound like i have a lot of vocabulary (i dont really care anymore now haha)

hopefully you guys can read my handwriting from years ago. english isnt my native language so i put down several explanations for a few words. i hope this can be useful to everyone who sees this :D

i have several other things in my notes (they're not too much compared to this list) but let me know if you guys want more :) im happy to help and share them.

i cannot promise that every single one is readable as my handwriting really changes over time 😵‍💫😵‍💫

dear, ♡

— cyno art

from helpless stares to sleepless nights, the ever-serious cyno finds himself dealing with the toughest problem of all: his feelings for you.

oh archon, just how did this happen?

CYNO X GN!READER ♡ MODERN AU, CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS!

chapter one — ruins

interlude, what you've done to me.

chapter two —

interlude, we're friends.

chapter three —

interlude, but i like your smile.

chapter four —

interlude, my youth.

chapter five —

interlude, my life.

taglist:

. . .

Your heart pounded as you stared at the massive steaming gash in the earth, the abrupt silence almost deafening as the dust began to settle. Only an hour into being in the past, and you had already almost lost your life on three separate occasions, and been saved just as many.

Honestly, you were starting to wonder if you had somehow stumbled your way into some kind of anime, because this sheer level of fuckery in such a short amount of time, seemed far too convenient to some unknown plot, to be a coincidence.

…..Either that, or the past was a hell of a lot more hectic than you remembered from history class.

Suffice to say, you hadn’t expected to end up in a situation anything like the one you were in now, when you woke up this morning. All you had wanted, was to explore some old shrines and landmarks, not get hurled back into the past and have your life threatened at every turn.

How you’d ended up here, was anyone’s guess.

Luckily, the first person you’d met, had been another time traveller, who had very kindly explained to you what had happened and where you were. Though she too was just as confused as to how you’d actually gotten here, especially since you apparently hadn’t arrived in the same way that she had, nor were you “like her” what ever that meant.

Unfortunately, her dog eared companion hadn’t been so kind and understanding, and had almost taken your head off twice, before the girl had used some kind of command to subdue him, with rather entertaining results. 

After calming the hothead down, the girl had introduced herself and her companion properly, and led you to the well that she used to travel, explaining everything about this time period and the youkai that inhabited it along the way. And wasn’t That a trip.

It was shortly after trying and failing to use the well yourself, that you were introduced to the rest of their group, including a ridiculously cute little kit who had instantly attached himself to you, and hadn’t let go since. Not that you were complaining. 

The calm atmosphere had been quickly disturbed however, as, yet again, you found yourself almost dying at the hands of a youkai.

The crazed lizard like youkai had come thundering out of the forest with a rather impressive speed, heading straight for you in its panic. It likely would have trampled you and the small kit too, if not for the arrival of another youkai, who appeared seemingly out of nowhere, before promptly dispatching the creature, its head rolling to a grisly stop at your feet. 

This new youkai and yourself, had stared at each other a little too long to be considered polite or normal, before Inuyasha, the hothead who had almost killed you when you arrived, abruptly started yelling at them, finally pulling the new youkai’s gaze away from you, and breaking the strange air that had settled over you both.

What had followed was a mostly one sided shouting match, which you paid very little attention to, focusing mainly on soothing the terrified kit in your arms, and sneaking glances at the strange but captivating newcomer.

It was because of this distraction, that you didn’t notice as Inuyasha readied an attack in the other youkai’s direction, only recognising the danger as Kagome let out a panicked shout for him to stop. You’d had barely a moment to recognise the attack headed your way, before you were suddenly wrapped in a strong but careful embrace, the softest fur you’d ever felt, pressed against your face.

The sight of you, safe from danger and wrapped in the other youkai’s embrace several metres away from the wound in the earth, was enough to send everyone into a stunned silence, including the wide eyed kit, still hiding against your chest.

From the look on the other youkai’s face, they were just as shocked by their decision to save you as everyone else was. Though they didn’t seem to have any plans of releasing you any time soon either.

the first time you kiss them ft. cyno, tighnari

wc: 454

modern au?? little snippets of kissing and a confession. no warnings just fluff. i’ll write another one like this but with nilou and al haitham!

m.list , pt.2 (ft. al-haitham and nilou)

cyno

you almost feel you’ve waited too long for this. for the electrifying feel of his lips against yours, his mouth moving in sync with your own. he pulls away as soon as he comes to his senses, his eyes wide and his eyebrows furrowed, much alike your own expression. your cheeks are awfully hot, you think absentmindedly as you stare into his vermillion irises. they are so extraordinarily warm, in a mind numbing way, dulling your senses and your reason along with them. you could stare at them forever, if only it meant you could keep this thrilling ecstasy within you.

the spark in you had blown into a wildfire, and it’s flames had scorched you. your burnt lips could only think to utter one thing, with your heart beating wildly in your chest and a heaviness in your throat threatening you .

“i like you. i really, really like you.”

he stares back at you. it’s endearing, almost, the way he seems to almost be suppressing the wide, pearly smile that stretches across his face before it erupts, and he no longer withholds it. he looks awfully sweet this way, and you hope to see it more often.

“shit,” he laughs lightly. “i thought you’d keep me waiting forever.”

tighnari

of all the things you’ve seen, you think what’s in front of you right now might be the most beautiful of them. he’s smiling. a big, joyous grin as he stares ahead at the display of colorful lights flashing on the stage. they reach the two of you, even in the far, sparse corner you found yourselves in.

they reflect on him, on his hair, on his skin, but what stands out most to you is the way they make his eyes glimmer. his eyes shine with excitement and hope and all the good things you could possibly think of. with the way he’s looking, you’d think he was on top of the world.

without even realizing it, you call out his name. “tighnari.” the word leaves your lips gently, blending in with the sound of loud music, but he still hears your voice as clear as a bell.

he turns to you, his eyebrows raised and his lips parted just a fraction.

your hand meets his cheek softly, and he wills you, tempts you, without even saying anything. you meet each other in the middle, and the kiss you share is far better than the one you’d imagined with toothy grins and kicking feet as you’d excitedly message him in the late hours of the night.

you pull away with your eyes averted (but they find his again anyway). he stares at you, before he tentatively presses his lips to yours again, and you taste sweetness once more.

i’d love it if you commented or rb! p.s my suggestions are open but read my post on it first!