Angel Baby | Blue Lock

PROMPTS   FOR   THE   HEAVY   HEARTED

the burdened:

“  being alive is exhausting.  ”

“  i ruin everything i touch.  ”

“  no one ever helped me when i needed it.  so,  i just.  try to do my best to keep others from feeling that kind of loneliness.  ”

“  i feel like the pain is all i am anymore. ”

“  i wish i remembered anything other than loneliness.  ”

“  i’m not a particularly good person.  but sometimes i wish someone would think i am.  ”

“  i’m just always the one who gets left behind.  ”

“  i never seem to belong anywhere.  or to anyone.  ”  

“  i’m alone.  and it’s my own fault.  but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.  ”

“  i don’t know how to just live.  i constantly feel like i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.  ”

“  i always expect people to hurt me.  because they usually do. ”

“  i don’t know how to let go of my trauma.  i don’t know what i am without it.   ”

“  it’s better if i’m alone.  i can’t hurt anyone if there’s no one close enough to get hit by the debris of my fuck ups.  ”

“  there are just too many people depending on me.  i can’t rest.  i can’t let them down.  ”

“  i don’t have anything or anyone left anymore.  ”

“  i’m not strong.  or brave.  i survive ‘cause there’s not really any other choice. ”

“  i tried to give up before.  but the universe just didn’t let me.  ”

“  i just want to be done.  i’m tired.  i’m so,  so fucking tired.  ”

“  i know it’s selfish.  but i wish someone would just take care of me.  ”

“  every time i start to feel like things are getting quieter and i can feel safe,  something bad always happens.  ”

“  i tend to love people more than they love me.  and it’s okay.  i don’t mind but…it can be lonely.  ”

“  i just don’t feel like my life makes any difference to anyone.  i’m just here.  ”

the comforter: 

“  hey,  look at me.  i’m listening.  you can tell me anything. ”

“   how can i help you feel less alone?  ”

“  i’m here and i’m not leaving or letting you change the subject.  now talk to me. ”

“  i know you feel like you’re alone and i’m not going to invalidate that.  but i can tell you that i’m here.  and i know there are people who want to care and help if you’ll let them.  ”

“  whatever it is you’re struggling with,  i want to help and it’s not going to make me look at you any different.  ”

“   i like having you around.  and not because of what you can do for me or give to me—  i like you.  i value you as a person.  ”

“   i just need you to know that you’ve never been ‘nobody’ to me.  you’ve never been nothing.  ”

“   you’re important to me.   you hear me?  you’re important.  and that’s never gonna change.   ”

“  i’m not going anywhere until you get some sleep.  ”

“  i want to take care of you.  please,  let me.  ”

“  no one is meant to be all alone.  that’s not how humans are built.  you don’t need to do all this on your own.   ”

“  you don’t deserve the bad things that happen to you.  you never did.  ”

“  i can’t promise you aren’t going to have any more hardship.  but i can promise i’m gonna be right here to get your through it. ”

“  you make a difference in my life.  i’m not just saying that.  it wouldn’t be the same without you here and i don’t want to find out what it’d be like to not have you around. ”

“  next time it gets this bad,  you call me okay?  now you just sit there and i’m gonna make you some tea and soup and we’re gonna talk this out. ”

“   is it getting bad again?  ”

“   you are so much stronger and braver than you think.  ”

❥ [ 02. ] she threw up lmao

I WISH YOU WERE SOBER — [ previous. masterlist. next. ]

synopsis — in which you were never really one for spontaneity or precipitous decisions, until you got yourself drunk at your senior year university party and woke up the next morning with the most dreadful of hangovers…along with a painfully distorted memory of a stolen kiss on that hazy evening.

note — but ngl i too, would have an insane mental breakdown if someone saw me throw up in a bathroom and my friends didn’t even tell me about it kdjfjd

taglist — @tihgnari @ceylestia @eissaaaa @venyan @sohyuki @senjurro @bobaducky @dinoshimaaa @sharoshing @ioverjn @hey-comrade-hold-stil @skaramush @lesbos4teyvat @clovcly @ventuswhat @zephestia @theother-victoria @neptun-es @ihaveahunterlisence @minyoungieee @astolary @wrenhyperfixates @heartonthemoon @goodthingimsam @capybara4lyfers @slvdsjjk @michelindu @kimiesstuff @itssoizzy @kazuzux @hiqhkey @layla240 @justrisahere @one-offmind @diaflower @liquor-kissez @tokanite @pooonyo @sweetstrawberrybabe @yeeden

SM’S UNFAIR TREAMENT OF IDOLS

This might not get a lot of attention but I really hope people pay attention in order to help the situation. Recently, one member of nct (subunit nct dream) Huang Renjun, has been seen to be severely mistreated by his manager. First, it was telling him to stop talking about another member in nct (Winwin), then he was asked to move in a vlive to let another member be in the middle. Also, this manager forced him out of the car with his other members to find his own ride back, IN THE RAIN, without an umbrella!! Several fans have also reported that another member, Lee Jeno, was been groped by this manager. Reportedly, she kicked Renjun out of the car so she could sit next to Jeno. This behavior is absolutely inexcusable. This is the mental abuse of MINORS. Jeno has asked before to not be sexualized and just bc he won’t be a minor soon, does not allow people to have free range over a nineteen year old boy. Many EXO-Ls may also remember in the beginning of EXO, three Chinese members left and one tried to file a lawsuit against SM for mistreatment. This has been going on for YEARS and nothing has been done. Another thing to note is that this mistreatment and abuse has been focused on CHINESE members only. Korean members are shown preference. I ask that everyone please unfollow sm and speak out against SM enetertainment. Even if you don’t stan or follow these idols, this is the mistreatment of MINORS and PEOPLE ! Please don’t ignore the issue

They knew they should turn away. They should absolutely turn away - some rabid jealousy, some savage thing, some desperation, rooted their feet to the ground. 

The one they loved glanced over. 

Their eyes met. Deliberate, air crackling, breath stealing.  Then the one they loved leaned in to kiss someone else, making a goddamn spectacle of it. Each pause another glance, each caress of a thumb a sick taunt and some promise all at once. You’re imagining it’s you, aren’t you? Look at what I can do. 

Everything else in the room had ceased to matter.

“Don’t let go…”

It breaks B’s heart that A says it like a question. Like there’s even the smallest chance that they would leave.

“I won’t.” B says, barely holding their sobs in.  A is shaking like a leaf in B’s lap and they shift to pull the jacket closer around them. The blood is starting to seep through the makeshift bandages and B can feel it staining their own skin and clothes.

“I won’t leave. I’m not gonna let go, I’ll stay, I’ll-”

A tear slips down and lands on A’s face and this time B can’t hold it in. They sob and whimper in the same breath, curling over A like they’re nursing a wound of their own.

“Why are you crying?” A whispers, slurring on the words. They sound sleepy.

“I’m… I’m not, I- … You’re going to be fine.”

B takes a shaky breath and collects themself and then says again, more firmly.

“You’re going to be fine.”

A looks up at B, searches their eyes sadly for a moment before giving in to their heavy lids and closes their eyes.

“Ok.”

Writing about a child rapist did not make Vladimir Nabokov a child rapist.

Writing about an authoritarian theocracy did not make Margaret Atwood an authoritarian theocrat.

Writing about adultery did not make Leo Tolstoy an adulterer.

Writing about a ghost did not make Toni Morrison a ghost.

Writing about a murderer did not make Fyodor Dostoevsky a murderer.

Writing about a teenage addict did not make Isabel Allende a teenage addict.

Writing about dragons and ice zombies did not make George R.R. Martin either of those things.

Writing about rich heiresses, socially awkward bachelors, and cougar widows did not make Jane Austen any of those things.

Writing about people who can control earthquakes did not make N.K. Jemisin able to control earthquakes.

Writing about your favorite characters and/or ships in situations that you choose does not make you a bad person.

It’s a shame that in this day and age these things need to be said.

haechan (verb): to be terrifying

— 𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐎𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐘.

❝𝐈𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥.❞

SUMMARY. refers to a behaviour or way of thought peculiar to an individual; but in this case, it’s something that they do around you and only you.

CHARACTERS. tighnari, alhaitham, cyno.

GENRE. fluff, a moderate amount of crack, established relationship.

CW. mentions of cute aggression and affectionate bullying (in tighnari’s part), the reader is down bad for alhaitham and he knows it, one dad joke about cryo slimes (in cyno’s part).

THOUGHTS. finally managed to finish this draft while i was on my mini vacay >:) this is my first time writing sumeru men, so feel free to lmk what you think! <3

✰ masterlist.

TIGHNARI … likes to knock you on the head, very softly and lovingly.

No, no, don’t you go around thinking that you can escape his long and stern lectures just because the two of you are an item. Others may think that you’re the only one that has a privilege they don’t, but they can’t be more wrong.

Asking dumb questions? Flirting with him shamelessly? Want a kiss? You’d get a soft bonk to the head personally delivered by Tighnari himself first, if that even counts as a privilege.

Rest assured that Tighnari’s intent is never to hurt you, nor does it actually hurt when he does so. To him, it’s an effective way of hushing you nonverbally and it also, may or may not, be his extremely unique love language. Why?

Well, Tighnari kind of… and he stresses, just kind of likes how you scrunch your nose every time he flicks your forehead, how you would complain so adorably and how you would— ahem. Actually, he has some work to do right now, bye.

Keep reading

playing hard to get [pt. 2]

as you were a person of bubbly character, he'd gotten used to your bright and cheerful nature, and the ridiculous shenanigans that came along with it. that included your numerous tries to woo him into dating you, with each attempt ending in failure. you weren't too depressed by it, returning to your usual jovial personality even after rejections... and he'd taken that for granted. he didn't expect you to do the “push-and-pull” tactic on him, and neither did he expect it'd work so well.

includes: zhongli, albedo & kazuha

pt. 1 - diluc, xiao & childe

pt. 3 - ayato & heizou

ZHONGLI, despite his tendency to forget his wallet in times he offered to pay for dinner or his shortcomings regarding with romance in general, still managed to grasp the hearts of men and women alike. it wasn't odd for the ferrylady to knock on his door and tiredly brief him about yet another visitor eager to see him, and he had to wave them off if they weren't a client for the funeral parlor.

there was one person he couldn't possibly fend off, though. you.

it's not that ZHONGLI didn't want you to leave. it was more of his inability to urge you to do so. his stern rejections didn't deter you from continuing to court him, thus you were unafraid to see him once more even after yesterday's answer being a firm “i can't reciprocate your affection.” your tenacity was impressive, he'd give you that, but that wasn't an actual compliment, was it? he was only calling you a stubborn fool, one way or another.

it didn't help that you were closely acquainted with the funeral parlor's director, hu tao herself. your presence was greatly welcomed in his workplace, as her good friend, and nobody could turn you away. ZHONGLI could understand why you got along so well; you were both troublemakers in your own right.

when you came over that afternoon, he had already prepared himself for a terrible time. you often pestered him to go on a date with you, and he regularly turned down the invitations without a second thought. the thing is, you could take “no” for an answer... but the reason you assume behind that rejection was “he doesn't like the place” instead of “he doesn't want to go with you,” hence you pestering him to visit a more agreeable location. you knew he'd eventually give in if you annoyed him enough.

but that didn't happen. you headed straight to hu tao's office without offering him a single glance, papers in hand, and he assumed it was work related. that meant you wouldn't come disturb him anymore: a cause for celebration!

yet that didn't pull a sigh of relief from him, much to his surprise. he only felt... conflicted. his muddled feelings mixed into a sense of unease, and it wouldn't leave.

ZHONGLI perked up when the office doors swung open an hour later, unknowingly anticipating your figure to strut through. “do you want to go out for lunch? i heard the restaurant nearby got a new menu. my treat, since i received this month's salary,” you grinned at hu tao, who brightened upon the news of free food.

meanwhile, ZHONGLI did the opposite, slumping over his chair. he'd heard of the new menu. in fact, he thought it sounded delicious, fitting perfectly with his tastes. he assumed you'd ask him out like you always did. he wanted you to ask him. no, hold on a second... why was he feeling this way?

“a tempting offer, but...!” hu tao sighed loudly, catching his attention. with an inconspicuous wink, she said, “i'm afraid i have a pile of work waiting for me! hey mr. zhongli, would you mind coming for my stead?”

he was sure you'd think hu tao was helping you court him and not the other way around. that was okay for him, too.

“...it's fine,” he said, settling his paperwork off to side of his desk before standing from his seat.

“nope, don't be so fast to reject me, ZHONGLI! if you don't like that restaurant, then we can- huh?” you blinked at him owlishly, in utter disbelief. he almost chuckled fondly at your strange expression.

(he steeled his resolve to end this “push-and-pull” once and for all.)

it was of no surprise to know ALBEDO despised anyone who'd dare disturb him in the middle of his studies, and yes, perhaps you were the sole exception, but you were on thin fucking ice. even klee had to stay out of his room when he was busy. he'd been patient at first, politely requesting you to leave for the time being or wait until his work was over, but it was hard to remain as generous when you were... plainly speaking, being a bother. everybody knew it was taboo to intrude his office, and really, you were only a distraction he didn't need to be around.

sucrose had been the poor recipient of all his grumblings, left with no other choice but to awkwardly laugh whenever complaints spilled from his mouth. still, she noted the hint of fondness lacing his words; annoyed nonetheless, but not to the point that it gravely upset him.

“is it that bad for me to visit? i try not to talk...” you inquired one day, pouting as ALBEDO was clearly occupied with mixing an oddly colored concoction. he sighed, explaining that even only the presence of another could be a hindrance. he pointedly left out the part where he'd end up getting distracted by your pretty face, which was actually the real reason behind his actions.

that moment, you simply nodded in solemn understanding, but he didn't think better of it. yet when the next day came, you didn't swing by; ALBEDO was elated, assuming it was just a lucky day, but you didn't visit the next day either. or the next, or the following days after that. when a week passed and there was no sign of your whereabouts anywhere near his office, his concerns grew tenfold.

it was, admittedly, humiliating to turn to the door excitedly whenever he heard a knock, only to be crestfallen to see sucrose. honestly, what was he expecting? she was his assistant, so of course it'd be her and not anyone else. that was how it was supposed to be in the first place without your meddlesome presence.

ALBEDO was certain she picked up on his disappoinment, though, if her amused giggle was anything to go by. “i heard [name] traveled far to fetch the flower you wanted to examine since forever,” she informed, kindly pretending not to see the embarrassed flush of his cheeks. “we should give a gift in return!”

“...yes, you're right.”

he didn't miss you, not one bit. absolutely not.

...that being said, he should probably practice his poker face before you returned to mondstadt.

KAZUHA, as carefree as he might seem on the surface, was more cautious than everybody gave him credit for. he didn't respond to your advances not because he didn't like you back, but because he didn't deem himself fit to be your significant other when he'd often leave liyue with the crux fleet to explore. he couldn't promise you a stable relationship, and he thought you deserved someone better than a boyfriend so quick to abandon you.

he told you as much, but you never listened, firm in your decision to stay with him. no matter how long his trips lasted, or how many other people asked for your hand — you wouldn't budge at all.

KAZUHA became content with that, deep down in his heart. he didn't want you to date someone else either. but it wasn't like all his thoughts would be shown to the entire world, so he could choose his words carefully, pick the most rational option. and that option was to let you go, since that would make you happiest.

still, he loved it whenever he saw you waving enthusiastically at him from afar each time the alcor arrived at the harbor. he loved it when you jump into his arms, eager to touch him again after weeks without seeing a glimpse of him. he loved it when you bury your face into his neck, unable to see the pure adoration reflecting in his eyes, the fond expression he had to hide all the time when you were around.

he loved you.

but he had to restrain himself for your sake. that was for the best, wasn't it? he couldn't be selfish. binding you to a relationship wouldn't do you any good. it was far better for you to meet someone else who could actually stay by your side, someone who wouldn't trade you for anything else. someone who could treat you right.

but something in him shatters when he doesn't see you at the docks. the alcor finally returned after a month, and he was near enough to recognize faces from afar, but you weren't there. you were nowhere to be found, and he was growing frantic. you didn't have to be there, but he felt nauseated without your presence. where were you? he hopped off the ship, landing gracefully on steady ground, and he didn't hesitate. his eyes swept across the entire area, searching and searching and searching, and-

who was that man beside you?

“oh, KAZUHA, you're back!” you exclaimed with familiar cheer, grinning widely. he couldn't bring himself to force a smile. “ah, i'm a bit... busy at the moment.” you gestured towards your companion, who nodded at KAZUHA in greeting. “but i swear i'll come once this is over, i promise.”

“it's fine. take your time,” the words managed to escape from his mouth despite the uncomfortable feeling lodged in his throat. you frowned at his despondent countenance, reluctant to leave him as is. you glanced at the man accompanying you, and he took it as his cue to walk ahead.

awkwardly, you shifted your weight from one foot to another. “w-well, i'm... uh...” you were unsure of what to do to lift his spirits. still, you raised your hands to grasp at his shirt, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself. you pecked him on the cheek, successfully snapping him out of his stupor, and he yelped in surprise, his whole face erupting into a shade of crimson. before he could compose yourself, you hastily stepped away from him, waving farewell. “w-we'll be going now! don't miss me too much, okay?”

dumbfounded as he was left behind, he cupped his cheek, the skin where you made contact with tingling beneath his fingertips.

you were just in front of him seconds prior but he already wanted to see you again, so it seemed that he couldn't follow your instructions, unfortunately.

lights, camera, action!

premise. in which you get yourself involved in a lot of unscripted drama. (genshin celebrity au.)

includes. xiao, childe, albedo, ayato, scaramouche, thoma & kazuha.

next episode. unavailable.

note. i surprised myself with how much plot this actually has.

零 ; you, the typecasted “passerby a”

the path to stardom is an arduous journey, but you've already abandoned your dreams not even halfway down the road.

you are far from the fresh newbie you once were. maybe you hoped to be famous at some point, your name sung in ardent praises and joint with stellar performances, but you've never received major roles that strayed from “classmate b” or “the protagonist's best friend” who only ever appears to give advice.

the closest you've been to getting a main character role is being part of the second pairing of a cheesy romance drama that never became a hit, a series with a generic plot and a bland cast of no name actors.

but you can't deny the spark of hope lighting your heart when you receive word of an audition for an upcoming drama adaptation of a well-loved webtoon series, a series you are an avid fan of. it's a murder mystery following a genius detective striving to solve a serial killings cold case, with snippets of romance and the occasional comedy, grim as the premise may be.

once the drama adaptation was confirmed, it quickly became a hot topic; fans are anticipating the casting and filming crew, expecting nothing less of perfection to honor the brilliant source material. by all accounts, it's big news, and snagging even a minor role would definitely earn you more recognition.

if you're chosen to act as the victim in the first murder, you would already be beyond satisfied—being part of such a masterpiece is enough to make you overjoyed. you don't have too high hopes but there's no harm in trying for the audition, right?

yes. no harm at all.

that's if you don't count the brain damage you suffered when your head slammed against the wall from complete shock as you received an e-mail from the staff confirming your admittance to the project.

as the protagonist's love interest, no less—a journalist investigating the serial murders to enact revenge on their younger brother's stead, the third victim in the killings.

一 ; xiao, the celebrity crush

acting practice is generally considered a casual affair in every project you've taken on, yet you couldn't help but spend hours trying to make yourself look presentable (and avoid looking like a beggar compared to your shining idols when you stand side by side). you may be a tad bit overdressed, but you'd hate to make a fool out of yourself on day one.

except that is exactly what you do. because you're a walking disaster.

in your defense, it's not even your fault! the moment you step foot in the venue, you're ushered by the staff to a row of waiting rooms... without any nameplates attached by the doors and no indication of where you're supposed to go. left with no other choice, you mentally count eeny meeny miny moe and surge forward for the chosen room.

you can't tell if you're tremendously lucky or the most unfortunate person on earth, but you come face to face with a person you never thought you'd see in the flesh.

the thing is, the staff never informed you of your future colleagues. the casting is a well-kept secret, even from the actors themselves, to prevent information leaks to the media before the official announcement.

you really wish you had time to prepare yourself before you had to meet xiao, though.

he's lounging by the sofa, curls of dark hair sprawled on the cushions. his face is obscured by an eye mask, fashioned in a cute design you wouldn't expect him to take an interest in at all. if you took a picture of him right now and printed them as merchandise, you're sure they'll sell like hotcakes, but a selfish part of you wants to keep this sight to yourself.

yes, because... because you've been crushing on him since forever!

you've seen his growth as an actor as far back as five years ago, when he only just started his career! he made the perfect mysterious pretty boy male lead, and the romance film he starred in was such a good classic! but he didn't get typecasted, no no. he went beyond his pretty boy persona to work in other productions, where he acted as the crazed antagonist in a horror movie. that, too, eventually became a classic film for any horror movie fan. his murderous glare is just too damn scary!

he's excellent in action-packed movies as well, there's never a need for stunt doubles with him. you've seen his behind the scene clips, and they're just awesome. he doesn't speak much in interviews, his replies clipped and hardly substantial, but you try to catch each piece of precious footage.

oh fuck i shouldn't be here. you snap back to your senses and reach for the doorknob, but the creaking sound of the door prompts xiao to twitch.

a pale hand drags down the eye mask to his chin, and his dazed golden eyes pin you in place.

“...who are you?”

it's a simple question, but it's like you're trying to prove your innocence to court. you begin to ramble, introducing yourself in a series of stutters, and explaining how you got to his room. you insist you aren't there to peep on him and it was a complete accident.

“...so you entered my room by mistake,” xiao summarizes your ten paragraphs-worth of explanation into a single concise sentence. he doesn't look angry, but doesn't look pleased by your presence either. “it's fine. i could guess the staff was too busy to show you your room.” he sits up properly, fixing his hair messy from his nap. “you're the journalist, right? i look forward to working with you.”

rather than a job, filming feels more like a reward. you get to see xiao everyday, get to talk to xiao even if it's just you commenting on the weather, get to eat with him in lunch breaks (you're seven seats away from him but that counts, right?) and get to act alongside him-

and xiao is the second male lead. you get to act romantic scenes with him. you get to act lovey-dovey with xiao in a police uniform because he's a policeman in this show.

each brush of your hands together sends your heart racing in a speed too fast to be healthy, but as an actor, you're expected to keep your composure and deliver your lines properly.

(the makeup artist is always wondering why you look so red on screen when she swears she didn't put much blush on you, though.)

“don't you need to ask something of me?”

you blink innocently as you peel off the heavy costume, the last scene for the day finally wrapped up. xiao must be feeling hot too because he's also wearing a huge coat in the middle of summer—his face is beet red.

“ask you for something...?” your cheeks burn bright. “oh no, was i too obvious?”

xiao awkwardly looks away. “you could say that.”

how mortifying! you fan your face, hoping your makeup isn't too melted. you already feel like an idiot, no need to look like one.

but xiao already thinks you're stupid. no turning back now.

“o... okay... since the cat is out of the bag, then...” you pull out a pen and a piece of paper, holding it out to him. “please give me your autograph!”

“...what.”

“i've been your fan for the last five years! i don't know who ratted me out, actually i'm about 87% sure it's childe, but since you know-”

“wait- what? five years?”

“.........if that's not what you're talking about, then what is?”

“no, i thought you wanted me to ask me ou-”

he seals his lips at the most crucial moment, horrified at himself. “sorry. i'll ask you another time.”

... and then he walks away. just like that.

“xiao, what about my autograph?!”

“forget it!”

“why all of a sudden?!”

二 ; childe, the scandal magnet

notorious for the massive number of scandals under his belt, it's a surprise to find ajax (with a stage name of childe) in the set of this major production. you're advised by your manager to steer clear of him and avoid unnecessary contact to prevent sullying your reputation, but you can't deny his acting prowess—he shines on the stage, a performance you can't tear your eyes away from.

he's incredibly versatile, capable of taking on any role and absorbing the character to make it come to life, almost as if he is its incarnation.

it starts as a simple game before actual practice, each actor asked to draw lots from pieces of paper scribbled with different roles, and given an accompanying script to base off of.

everyone laughs when childe, ironically enough, draws the “womanizer who cheats on his lover.”

unfortunately, you couldn't laugh along with them because you picked the “lover” role. your incredible (read: atrocious) luck astounds you.

it goes just about as well as everyone expects it. childe, seemingly in his element, plays the part of a perfect scumbag. it's easy to hate him like this, all flamboyant gestures and empty promises of “you are my one and only.” his performance inspires you to try harder, and so you raise your voice, your passionate screams of indignance almost sounding heart-felt, like you truly are experiencing a severe betrayal.

when childe sweeps you into his arms, whispering platitudes dripping with honey, you're nearly fooled into forgiving him.

it's hard to get yourself out of the role when the director ends the scene, satisfied with the act. childe's expression returns to its usual lazy grin, a far cry from the smug smirk prior, and he pats your head to wake you up. “nice work. i really felt like i was getting scolded by an angry girlfriend.”

dazzled by his brilliance, you barely have enough coherence to return the compliment.

your awe doubles when he performs his next act.

much to xiao's horror, he picks the “dying younger brother” role, a direct accompaniment to childe's “grieving older brother.” they make an... interesting pair, but they're also professionals, and the scene they perform almost makes you weep real tears.

xiao lays limp on the floor like a lifeless doll, and childe cradles him to his chest, delivering his lines with sobs and cries that sound too real to be an act. his heart-wrenching wails bounce from the walls, going straight to strike your heart. his voice cuts through the air, demanding your attention, as if telling you to keep your eyes on him and to never look away.

it's nothing like the sleazebag character he was playing twenty minutes ago, and you have to remind yourself your scripts are only given once you've drawn lots; he had a maximum of five minutes to read through it, process the information, decide how to deliver his lines, and visualize himself performing it in the best way possible.

like this, he doesn't look at all like the scandalous man everyone makes him out to be. he's just an earnest man who's good at pretending to be someone else.

it's terrifying to think about. did he ever act like his true self when the cameras stopped rolling, then? was he just playing the part of a “good co-worker” when he was talking to you earlier? was the whole “scandalous womanizer” image something he set up for himself? a reputation he deliberately made to attract the media's attention? it isn't unusual for actors to cause drama as a publicity stunt, after all.

no, that doesn't make sense. no matter how desperate, nobody would like bad rumors circulating about them. as much as your name is spread around, it also goes hand in hand with distasteful gossip. childe is plenty famous, even before the scandals began popping up, so he never really needed them and they would only further ruin his image...

...on the contrary, if there's anyone getting famous from those scandals, it's...

...the girls he supposedly hooked up with?

rather than making those scandals for fame, doesn't it make more sense if those girls fabricated stories and took advantage of his reputation?

it's no secret that meddlesome paparazzi and hardcore fans obsessively pry into celebrities' personal lives. if they sniff a hint of dating scandals, they don't stop digging. furthermore, once the media releases information to the public, people will take it as fact. in actuality, it doesn't matter what's true or not; what the public wants to believe becomes the “truth.”

if the people deemed it plausible, if they thought “childe would definitely do something like this, so of course if the girl says they hooked up in the dressing room, they did”...

...even if childe denied those claims, nobody would believe him. not even you. you didn't think about it until now. in fact, at the very beginning, you already had assumptions about him, devouring the media's lies.

childe laughs when you apologize to him. it was certainly a shock when you suddenly knocked on his door, then the instance he opened it, you began to bow deeply, nearly slamming your forehead to his chest.

“i'm used to it, don't worry.” he smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. “you were so stiff around me, it was pretty obvious what you thought of me. but you didn't have to apologize.”

“no, i do! i was being disrespectful!” you insist, taking him by surprise when you grab the lapels of his jacket. “you're nothing like what they say! i'm sure you've been through a lot just because everyone keeps saying whatever they want, without thinking of your feelings... and everyone laughed that one time we played the acting game... i... i can't take back the time i've spent being suspicious of you, but i want to change that!” you stare directly at his widened eyes, determined. “i want to know you better, ajax!”

the use of his real name stuns him and for a moment, all he can do is gape at you.

then he narrows his eyes, his lips shaping to a firm line, and he tugs you inside the room.

a yelp unwittingly escapes your mouth when you're pressed against the door, his arms caging either side of you. his expression is unfamiliar now, unlike anything you've ever seen before; uncharacteristically stern, harsher around the edges, spiteful gaze boring holes into your skull.

“you want to know me better... some pretty words you just said. what do you actually want?”

your breath hitches when his hand caresses your cheek, but the striking glare he's giving you makes you think he wants to sink his nails deep into your skin instead.

“this isn't the first time someone tried to approach me, you know. what, you want to be friends with me? you're going to ask if i can invite you to my house? then you're going to tell people how i took advantage of you while you were sleeping?”

“what- no! of course not!” you yell, face heating up just by the thought of it. “nevermind lying to the media, i don't have the guts to sleep over a guy's house i barely even know!”

his expression falls to a deadpan. “oh. my bad. you're quite pure, aren't you. of course you wouldn't.”

“that's what makes you believe me?!”

the arms caging you falls to his sides as he walks away, leaving you dumfounded. “right, right, sorry for scaring you. can't you let me off easy? it's pretty hard to trust someone when you're in my position. if i treat you to dinner, will you forgive me?”

“i... i came here with good intentions... now i feel as though i was harassed...”

his usual smile falls on his face, like he's a completely different person from the man who trapped you just seconds prior. “what do you think about seafood? i'll let you eat as many crabs as you like. i really am sorry, promise. if you were saying the truth earlier, then i'd be glad to know you better too, [name].”

you give him a look. “...if they saw us entering a restaurant together, wouldn't that attract rumors?”

“hm? is everyone so narrow-minded they think anyone who eats together is in an illicit relationship?”

the answer is no, so you eat as much crabs and shrimp as you want to your heart's content. you're getting your food's worth for that fright he caused earlier. childe isn't complaining anyway, only impressed with how much dishes you're practically inhaling.

in any case, it isn't a date. there is no ambience or heart-pounding romance of any sort. not when you're overtly taking advantage of his money and childe's taking ugly pictures of you mid-bite.

but then, of course, the media takes note of it; the topic of your outing is brought up at an interview, to which you fret and panic because you were never popular enough to be interviewed before, and they're asking if you're fucking childe, of all things-

“what are you talking about?” childe pops up behind you, unhelpfully wrapping an arm around your shoulders as if he wants to add fuel to the fire. he chuckles, tilting your chin to lean closer to his face. “i'm just pursuing [name]. nothing's happened yet. unless [name] wants to...”

you take it back. he's definitely at fault for having this many scandals.

三 ; albedo, the male lead

the first day of rehearsals, the protagonist of the drama isn't even there.

to your astonishment, nobody complains about it. twenty minutes into practice (most scenes skipped due to the protagonist's absence), the director gets a call and excuses himself outside. less than a minute after, he informs everyone the star of the show won't be able to make it.

the actors trade unsure looks, wondering what the hell is going on, but the rest of the staff remain unfazed. the director notices and explains, “it's albedo. his busy schedule can't be helped. his manager called me to let me know his flight got delayed.”

and then it makes much more sense.

albedo is well-renowned in the film industry, an extraordinary talent who first came into showbiz three years ago. it's not at all a long time, but it's long enough for him to receive countless awards and bountiful movie offers—he was just born for the stage. if anything, this drama is lucky to have him in it, not the other way around. a late arrival for a rehearsal is nothing. he could probably disappear for two months without telling anybody and when he comes back, the director would beg him to act for the drama for twice the pay. (an exaggeration, but you get the point.)

and... you're expected to partner with him? you? a speck of dust compared to the sun that is albedo? you have to match his brilliance and not look like a turd beside him on screen? you have to be equals with him and- and you actually get to- you get to hold hands with him, kiss him, and- those couple stuff? everything? his fans would murder you if your mother doesn't kill you first! you know she likes his movies a lot!

the fourth day of rehearsals, he finally comes to the set. not with an air of arrogance or excessive pride. he just exudes confidence, strutting to the room in an elegant poise you can't hope to replicate. he gives his sincere apologies for the inconvenience to the staff, all polite bows and offer of recompense.

“but there's no reason to worry,” he declares, gaze steely. “i won't make any more trouble for you.”

he refuses when the director suggests taking it slowly and instead goes straight to practice. but it doesn't look like he needs any of it at all.

as if he's been here all along, he falls into place with the other actors, not a single awkward pause in their scripted conversations and everything smooth sailing. he delivers a flawless performance, like the cameras are already rolling and he's practiced for tens of thousands of times already, not read through a portion of the script in the car ride towards the set.

there is one thing he's struggling with, however.

“you're too stiff with each other,” the acting coach comments, frowning slightly at the two of you and cutting the scene short. “rather than bickering, it's like you're actually arguing, and that's not what we want to portray.”

you blink, exchanging a look with albedo, and look down at his collar you're still gripping.

maybe you do look like you're trying to strangle him instead of pulling him closer to your face for some good ol' sexual tension.

originally, the characters you play didn't get along well in the beginning of the webtoon; the genius detective didn't like to rely on others, conceited enough to believe he can solve the case on his own, hence seeing the journalist as a hindrance since they kept pestering him to let them help him, and he help them in turn so they could work together. the detective didn't deem them “useful” for the investigation, and it was only much later that he (begrudgingly) admitted the journalist can be helpful... sometimes. thus officially starting their partnership for the investigation, and later on, partners in the romantic sense.

there were quite a lot of bickering scenes before the actual romance commenced, and you're struggling with finding a delicate balance to that—where exactly do you draw the line between petty squabbles and severe disputes? how do you show the chemistry between these two characters while butting heads in every instance? the enemies to lovers trope is harder to act than it seems.

“try to get familiar,” the director suggests. “you're stiff because you don't know each other well. you're too shy to touch or get closer. why not leave early and go on a little date by yourselves to fix that?”

“is that really okay...?” you say, unsure. besides being hesitant to leave earlier than the rest, you're also nervous to be alone with your co-actor.

“if he says it's fine, then it's fine.” albedo shrugs, starting to walk towards the dressing room and tugging you along. “but if we're going outside, we should wear disguises. it's also fine if we borrow some of your clothes, right?”

“of course, of course~” the director indulges him. “have fun, kiddos.”

as it turns out, albedo is a master of disguise. he doesn't even have a wig or anything but you almost can't recognize him clad in casual attire. he also almost looks like a stylist while figuring out what outfit to give you, and you're left in awe when you look at yourself in the mirror wearing clothes you wouldn't normally pick out yourself but they look really, really good on you, and they do a good job changing your image too. not that you think anybody would recognize you anyway, unpopular and all.

“where do you want to go?” you trail after him on the way to the bus station, always a step or two behind. albedo makes a humming noise, subtly slowing his pace to match your strides.

“why not just go wherever our feet takes us?” he pipes up. “as long as it's not teeming with people, of course.”

so with zero preparation at all, you do just that. you stop by a bookstore, with you showing him around the comics section and him adamantly insisting the plain hard-cover literature he's picking up is a thrilling epic that will definitely pique your interest, [name] stop yawning-

you pay a visit to the arcade, where you find albedo is clumsy with his feet and can't play dance dance revolution to save his life, but also unnecessarily adept with claw machines because he has a little sister who loves getting stuffed toys. you compete over who gets the most points in the basketball game to decide who pays for dinner, end up in a tie, and move on to a zombie shooting game. you win by a narrow margin and albedo tells you so, but you point a finger at the results and tell him to cough up the cash. then you play around in the photo booth using the craziest filters, and you take the liberty of pasting stickers everywhere.

dinner is a simple affair. albedo looks ready to go to some michelin star establishment but you introduce him to a sushi restaurant that's relatively cheap. he's impressed by the way you swipe at the conveyor belt so quickly. okay, so you may look like an utter glutton right now, but it's fine. not the first time you embarrassed yourself in front of a co-actor.

lastly, you stop by an ice cream shop to get gelato. your appetite is “awe-inspiring,” as albedo put it, but you argue there's always room for dessert.

“will this actually help us, though...?” you sigh, eating a spoonful of gelato. “i don't understand the difference between bickering and arguing.”

“we've done it the whole day,” albedo reminds you, using a tissue to clean the residue of cream on your cheek. “we'll do just fine.”

you stare at him in disbelief. “...is this also one of your habits from taking care of your sister?”

“ah. you could say that.”

just as albedo said, filming goes a lot more smoothly. the playful air is a huge improvement compared to last time when they said you looked ready to beat him to submission. the romantic tidbits are coming along well, too, spun between action-packed scenes where you're pressed against albedo in a slim locker to hide from the murderer lurking nearby or sweet slice of life moments outside of the investigation.

at last, the confession scene is upon you. just a while back, the two main characters got into a full-blown argument; the detective was irritated by the lack of progress in the investigation, and deduced his feelings were distracting him. he decided to keep the journalist at arm's length, never allowing them to go close. of course, they didn't react well to this, and so they pester him again, but the argument became heated and it eventually peaked to “you're an inconvenience to me!” which led them to separate ways.

the journalist, desperate to solve the case on their own, approached people who seemed to be in the know. they were nearly pulled into bed by an attractive yet suspicious man, who's genuinely interested in the journalist romantically and used intel on their younger brother's murder as leverage, but they get interrupted by the detective pounding on the door.

he dragged the journalist out, thoroughly upset at the notion of selling themself, but they deny the accusations and claim they were tricked.

the argument stretched longer, the both of them airing out everything they dislike about the other, but the detective accidentally slipped and confessed his real feelings. the journalist, who never thought of him that way, was frozen on the spot.

it's a long scene requiring much preparation. aside from the amount of lines you have to memorize, there's also a hotel suite you have to borrow for the shoot, the cameras they need to set for the “dragging” scene that has a lot of movement, the really awkward half-bedroom scene you have to act with your co-actor, and the fact that you have to take the confession scene before the sun completely set.

it's truly a busy day. anxiety plagued you the moment you came out of the makeup room, knowing what comes next.

but it's a job, and one especially you couldn't afford to slack on. the kind-of-but-not-really-bedroom scene goes without a hitch, but albedo interrupts you a tad bit too early; the top of your shirt is barely unbuttoned but he's already storming in, ripping you out of the other man's grasp.

the director doesn't chide him for it however, and he drags you out of the hotel as planned. you're a bit frazzled by the suddenness of it all, clothes still rumpled, but it adds on to your acting and your stuttering questions make the scene look more natural.

albedo's fury seeing you in such a disheveled state seems almost genuine, too.

“why are you acting like this?!” you pull your wrist away in an effort to make him let go, as described in the script, but albedo refuses to. an improvisation, perhaps? but now of all times...? “you didn't care about me before! are you trying to be nice now? didn't you say you were sick of putting up with me? you hated me for being stupid, right? guess what, then! i was stupid enough to get almost taken advantage of! if you're just going to lecture me, let go. i don't want to hear any of it. i already know how much of a fool i am.”

you're supposed to back away now, but he doesn't let you do that either. for one step backward, he takes two forward, nose nearly brushing with yours in the close proximity. your face heats up in a combination of confusion and embarrassment, your ears barely registering his lines.

“...never listen to me. you always go off on your own and i still think you're a reckless idiot. you're noisy and brash and you annoy me to no end,” he says in one breath, staring deeply into your eyes. “but seeing you with someone else annoys me even more. to the point i'd abandon everything just to get you back.”

“w...” your throat is incredibly dry. “why would you...”

“whether i like it or not, you've become important to me. i love your stupid laugh and your stupid smile. i love the way you look at me, and i don't want you to look at anyone else. you drive me crazy when you put yourself in danger because i don't want to lose you. i want you so badly that i want you to only think about me, spend time only with me, only love me. i-”

you're fairly certain this is nowhere near his lines in the script.

“i love you so much that it scares me.” his voice trembles as his hand lifts to cup your face, something that finally bears semblance to the original scene. “it was wrong of me to say those horrible things. not just last time. i've been terrible to you, and no amount of apologies can make up for it. but i ask only one more chance.”

his finger hovers at the corner of your lip.

“[name], won't you only look at me?”

you gape like a fish out of water, unable to reply. you're trying to remember your lines, flipping through the mental script in your head, but the director's “cut!” pulls you back to reality.

albedo blinks, getting himself out of the role, and he lets go of you reluctantly, the heat of his fingers lingering on your skin.

“the scene was good, but you said the wrong name.” the director laughs. “it's alright. we can still shoot where we last left off. return to your positions.”

as told, you go back to your previous position. you give a furtive glance at albedo, whose cheeks flare in humiliation. he's probably never done such a rookie mistake before. there's no reason to be that flustered about it; you've made the same error plenty of times.

“i apologize. i won't do it again next time.”

(if he's going to confess, the least he can do is make his own lines for the occasion.)

next episode ; unavailable. preview →

四 ; ayato, the cannon fodder

五 ; scaramouche, the best friend

六 ; thoma, the former male lead

七 ; kazuha, ???