❥ [ 03. ] Three Hours

genshin impact ✧ xiao lockscreens

🎐— requested by: anonymous! 

🎐— dimensions: 1125 x 2436 px.

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❥ [ 06. ] beside his car

I WISH YOU WERE SOBER — [ previous. masterlist. next ]

synopsis — in which you were never really one for spontaneity or precipitous decisions, until you got yourself drunk at your senior year university party and woke up the next morning with the most dreadful of hangovers…along with a painfully distorted memory of a stolen kiss on that hazy evening.

note — y/n does NOT sleep well that night lmao 😭

taglist — @tihgnari @ceylestia @eissaaaa @venyan @sohyuki @senjurro @bobaducky @dinoshimaaa @sharoshing @ioverjn @hey-comrade-hold-stil @skaramush @lesboluvs @clovcly @ventuswhat @zephestia @theother-victoria @neptun-es @ihaveahunterlisence @minyoungieee @astolary @wrenhyperfixates @heartonthemoon @goodthingimsam @capybara4lyfers @slvdsjjk @michelindu @kimiesstuff @itssoizzy @kazuzux @hiqhkey @layla240 @justrisahere @one-offmind @diaflower @liquor-kissez @tokanite @pooonyo @sweetstrawberrybabe @yeeden @nejibot @lcvez @rion-s @sakushoujo @koiir @lost-wicked-artist @dampam @q1ngx1n @yer1sdi4ry @bleedingwhiteroses222

nearly 200 writing prompts // feel free to reblog

Angst:

1: “ Give me a chance. ” 2: “ Not you again.. ” 3: “ Leave me alone. ” 4: “ I don’t love you anymore. ” 5: “ Why do you hate me? ” 6: “ I lost the baby. ” 7: “ I thought you loved me. ” 8: “ I don’t need you anymore. ” 9:“ I can’t believe you! ” 10: “ We cant keep this up forever. ” 11: “ You’re a monster. ” 12: “ I hate you. ” 13: “ Don’t leave me… ” 14: “ You’re a disappointment. ” 15: “ Don’t die on me– Please. ” 16: “ I never meant to hurt you. ” 17: “ Are you upset with me? ” 18: “ I wish i’d never met you. ” 19: “ I’m going to kill you! ” 20: “ Please don’t hurt me like this. ” 21: “ Thanks for nothing. ” 22: “ Dont call this number again. “ 23: “ Why did you spare me? ” 24: “ You need to leave. ” 25: “ I’m sick. ” 26: “ I’m dying. ” 27: “ I wish i’d never met you. ” 28: “ I thought we were family!” 29: “ There was never an us. ” 30: “ So that’s it? It’s over? ” 31: “ I fucked up. ” 32: “ I came to say goodbye. ” 33:“ He’s dead because of you. ” 34: “ I don’t deserve to be loved. ” 35: “ About the baby… Its yours. ”

Love:

36: “ I’m so in love with you. ” 37: “ Dance with me! ” 38: “ Isn’t this amazing? ” 39: “ I wish we could stay like this forever. ” 40: “ Will you marry me? ” 41: “ I’m pregnant. ” 42: “ I need a hug. ” 43: “ You’re special to me. ” 44: “ I’m going to keep you safe. ” 45: “ Do you trust me? ” 46: “ Can I kiss you right now? ” 47: “ You’re cute when you’re angry. ” 48: “ I’ve liked you for awhile now. ” 49: “ Lets have a baby. ” 50: “ We’d make such a cute couple. ” 51: “ I want to take care of you. ” 52: “ Can we cuddle? ” 53: “ It’s lonely here without you. ” 54: “ I can’t stand the thought of loosing you. ” 55: “ Shut up and kiss me already. ” 56: “ Are you flirting with me? ” 57: “ Is that my shirt? ” 58: “ How did we get here? ” 59: “ You own my heart. ” 60: “ You’d be a great dad. ” 61: “ You’d be a great mom. ” 62: “ I want to protect you. ” 63: “ Whats the matter? ” 64: “ You’re so beautiful. ” 65: “ Did you do something different with your hair? ” 66: “ Is that a new perfume? ” 67: “ Stop being so cute. ” 68: “ You’re making me blush! ” 69: “ You’re teasing me again… ” 70: “ This is why I fell in love with you. ” 71: “ You’re the best! ” 72: “ They’re going to love you, don’t worry! ” 73: “ Oh, Are you ticklish? ” 74: “ Of course I remembered! ” 75: “ You’re one hell of a girl. ” 76: “ You’re one hell of a guy. ” 77: “ Are you jealous? ” 78: “ Hold me and never let me go. ” 79: “ Stop hogging all the blankets! ” 80: “ Lets run away together. ”

General:

90: “ Catch me if you can! ” 91: “ I’m fine. ” 92: “ Are you drunk? ” 93: “ Are you high? ” 94: “ We cant go in there… ” 95: “ Give it back! ” 96: “ Well this is just great. ” 97: “ Don’t touch me. ” 98: “ Not sure if you could tell, but I’m not exactly a people person. ” 99: “ This was fun— Lets do it again sometime!” 100: “ I didn’t do it! ” 101: “ I did it… ” 102: “ I don’t remember that! ” 103: “ Well that’s pretty rude of you to say. ” 104: “ Get that thing away from me! ” 105: “ You owe me. ” 106: “ Do you believe in aliens? ” 107: “ Do you believe in ghosts? ” 108: “ Are you hitting on me? ” 109: “ Why are you naked? ” 110: “ You did what?! ” 111: “ You have… Superpowers? ” 112: “ Why are you bleeding? ” 113: “ Where did all these puppies come from?” 114: “ Don’t make me come over there myself! ” 115: “ That wasn’t funny. ” 116: “ This tastes horrible. ” 117: “ This is delicious! ” 118: “ Are you mad at me? ” 119: “ Stop ignoring me… ” 120: “ I love that show too! ” 121: “ Can I borrow that book of yours?” 122: “ Lets blow this joint. ” 123: “ Let me help you with that. ” 124: “ Take that back! ” 125: “ Wanna go see a movie with me? ” 126: “ No way, that’s so lame. ” 127: “ What are you listening to? ” 128: “ I brought you your coffee. ” 129: “ Don’t fuck this up. ” 130: “ Run! ” 131: “ Lets run away together. ” 132: “ I haven’t slept in four days… ” 133: “ Your turn to do the dishes. ” 134: “ Was I really that drunk? ” 135: “ Was I really that stoned? ” 136: “Give me back my phone! ” 137: “ You’re an asshole. ” 138: “ Are you cold? ” 139: “ This place gives me the creeps. ” 140: “ I swear my house is haunted. ” 141: “ Did you hear that? ” 142: “ It’s just your imagination. ” 143: “ Just how stupid do you think I am? ” 144: “ Stop being such a baby. ” 145: “ Go back to bed. ” 146: “ Are you okay? ” 147: “ I can take care of myself just fine.” 148: “ Thanks for helping me back there. ” 149: “ Since when have we ever been friends? ” 150: “ What on earth are you wearing? ” 151: “ I can’t feel my legs! ” 152: “ Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. ” 153: “ Put me down! ” 154: “ There’s only one bed… ” 155: “ It isn’t what it looks like! Okay.. Maybe it is… ” 156: “ How did I loose it? ” 157: “ I read your diary. ” 158: “ This is awkward. ” 159: “ Didn’t you read the sign? ” 160: “ Do you think you can teach me that? ”

Below is NSFW prompts. Please if you’re rebloggling tell your followers if you’re interested or not in taking these sorts of requests.

Sexual: 161: “ Bite me. ” 162: “ Make me. ” 163: “ Fuck me. ” 164: “ Stop teasing me so much… ” 165: “ Do you like it when I touch you like that?” 166: “ Okay.. This is new. ” 167: “ Want to head back to my place and have a little fun? ” 168: “ You’re in trouble now. ” 169: “ What a pretty sight. ” 170: “ Bend over. ” 171: “ On your knees. ” 172: “ The food looks great but.. There’s something much more delicious i’d like to eat right now. ” 173: “ Lay back. ” 174: “ Take off your clothes. ” 175: “ Well, fine; just this once. ” 176: “ I’m waiting. ” 177: “ You’re so beautiful. ” 178:“ As you wish. ” 179: “ First one to make a noise looses.” 180: “ You have no idea what you do to me. ” 181: “ If you’re bored; Wanna have sex? ” 182: “ Ive wanted this for so long. ” 183: “ Car sex looks so much more easier in the movies. ” 184: “ Can I touch you? ” 185: “ Open up. ” 186: “ No strings attached. ” 187: “ Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? ” 188: “ Mine. ” 189: “ The nights still young. ” 190: “ We cant do that here! ” 191: “ Behave. ” 192:“ What did you just say? ” 193: “ Good girl. ” 194: “ Good boy. ” 195: “ Come here. ”

words to use instead of

as 

while 

when,

whilst

 even as

 just as

 just when

 simultaneously as

 so long as

 at the moment that

 at the same time that at the time that

 in the act of

 in the process of 

on the point of

during the time that

 at the same time as

 during the time

 throughout the time

 in the time

 during which

 during which time

for the period that

 at the same time

 meanwhile

 at the time

 as long as

 exactly when

 at the very moment that

at the very time that after

 as soon as

 immediately when

 immediately after

instantly when once

looked

glanced 

gazed 

stared

gaped

peered

focused 

 peeped 

peeked

took a look

taken a look 

watched

considered 

saw 

seen

observed 

viewed

regarded

marked 

checked out

glimpsed 

spotted 

eyed 

took in 

taken 

in ogled

eyeballed 

beheld

beholden 

before

ahead

back

previously

since

sooner

afore

aforetime

ante

antecedently

anteriorly

before present

ere

fore

former

formerly

forward

gone

gone by

heretofore

in advance

in days of yore

in front

in old days

in the past

past

precendently

previous

up to now

smiled

beam

grin

laugh

smirk

simper

be gracious

express friendliness

express tenderness

look amused

look delighted

look happy

look pleased

touch

brush

caress

feel

handle

hit

kiss

lick

pat

reach

rub

strike

stroke

tap

abut

adjoin

border

communicate

contact

converge

dab

examine

finger

fondle

frisk

glance

graze

grope

inspect

join

line

manipulate

march

massage

meet

neighbor

osculate

palm

palpate

partake

paw

percuss

pet

probe

push

scrutinize

sip

smooth

suck

sweep

tag

taste

thumb

tickle

tip

toy

verge

be in contact

butt on

come together

feel up

impinge upon

lay a finger on

exhaled

breathe

emit

give off

let out

discharge

eject

emanate

evaporate

expel

issue

respire

steam

vaporize

nodded

acknowledge

bend

bow

greet

respond

salute

acquiesce

agree

approve

assent

passionate

ardent

dramatic

eager

eloquent

emotional

expressive

fervent

fierce

fiery

forceful

heartfelt

heated

impassioned

intense

poignant

spirited

strong

vehement

violent

zealous

affecting

animated

blazing

burning

deep

fervid

flaming

frenzied

glowing

headlong

high-powered

high-pressure

hot

hotblooded

impetuous

impulsive

inspiring

melodramatic

moving

precipitate

quickened

steamed up

stimulated

stirring

thrilling

warm

wild

but

although

however

nevertheless

on the other hand

still

though

yet

gasped

choke

snort

whoop

blow

convulse

gulp

heave

inhale

inspire

pant

puff

respire

sniffle

wheeze

catch one’s breath

fight for breath

frowned

glare

glower

grimace

pout

gloom

lower

sulk

cloud up

do a slow burn

give a dirty look

give the evil eye

knit brows

look black

look daggers

look stern

movement

act

action

change

development

evolution

exercise

flow

migration

move

operation

progress

shift

advance

agitation

alteration

swirled

boil

churn

roil

twirl

whirl

agitate

coil

crimp

crisp

curl

eddy

purl

roll

snake

surge

swoosh

whirlpool

whorl

wriggle

“Can I tell you a secret?” They tugged their fiance closer. “I’m getting married tomorrow.”

“Oh?” Their fiance pressed them to wall, catching their mouth in a searing kiss. Playing at flings and strangers. “Tell your fiance they have excellent taste. I’m engaged myself. Lovely thing. Amazing eyes.”

“Fantastic kisser?”

“Now you’re fishing.”

hi! if you’re not busy could you do some royalxroyal prompts? i have a princess oc i’m working on and i want to be able to give options for role plays besides them just mEeTiNg aT a bAlL oNe nIgHT

Of course!

Royal x Royal OTP Prompts

Prompts

A’s and B’s kingdoms often have meetings to discuss negotiations. As the kings and queens work out all the official stuff, A and B just sit there, bored out of their minds. They bond over how awful these frequent meetings are, and find creative ways to make the meetings more interesting.

A and B’s siblings are arranged to be married in the wedding of the century. The two kingdoms come together to make the wedding happen, and A and B are left with a fair amount of the planning.

A war has broken out in A’s kingdom and A is sent away to live with B for their protection.

Oneliners

“The only royal you are, is a royal pain in the ass”

“It’s awful that you live so far away, as it means I can only express my love through letters. And, as you know, I’m more talented with my mouth than with my pen”

“I would destroy my entire kingdom if it meant I got to be with you” “Is that a promise or a threat?”

“I’ve never seen you at any balls” “I’m not the most sociable”

“Can’t we just fall in love without having to worry about politics?”

Also see:

Modern royalty prompts and oneliners

!!nagi swears that kissing you before practice or a match gives him good luck!!<3<33

✩ ˛˚ . NAGI SEISHIRO ; — it seems the teams way to get nagi motivated has its drawbacks.

warnings: sfw! no warnings just nagi being the sweetest :3 note: hi nonnie!!! i decided to just write this lil thing cause i thought it was super cute so i hope u like it sob!!!

for the most part, it was beneficial when the team decided to start inviting you to their morning practice — as a means to motivate nagi, noticing that the usual sleepy, slacker of a striker seemed to have a little more motivation whenever he’d look over and see you in the stands.

but now.. actually getting him to come onto the pitch to play was a whole other problem entirely.

“hey, nagi! get on the field, jeez.. we’re still a goal behind, ultra genius.” you hear reo call from behind you, huffing when your boyfriend infront of you doesnt even seem to give him a second thought as he waves him off from over his shoulder. you think it’s amusing though, the pleading look his bestfriend gives you like he’s begging you to help him out.

nagi on the other hand, is currently leaning over the barrier at the stands — shooting you a starry-eyed look from under his messy bangs. his gloved hands fidget with the hem of your t-shirt and you feel them twitch tighter around the fabric every few moments, like an adorable little attempt to pull you closer as he sends you a pout.

“this is a pain, ‘ts in the way.” your boyfriend breathes as his longer limbs shift and fidget over the metal fence against him he’s referring to — surprisingly enough managing to support his weight as he leans against it, probably finding standing too bothersome given how long they’ve been practicing already.

but you give nagi an inch as you take a step closer, just enough to let his hands graze along your hips as he lets his head lean forward and rest on your chest. “you’re needed on the field, sei.” you try to reason as you push his snowy bangs away from his gaze, letting you take in the pretty, drowsy expression on his face when he blinks slowly up at you.

“eh, don’t wanna. wanna stay here.” another slow drawl and his fingers are squeezing at your skin, feeling him nuzzle deeper into your chest as he leans even further into you — making the barrier squeak slightly under his weight. you’re not sure it’s quite built to balance lazy 190cm strikers.

“but i wanna see you score more goals. we can get lemon tea before we go home.” it’s tempting, especially when you say it in that pretty little voice you know he loves. so you feel nagi’s head twist against you before he’s sending you a cute little look, cheek smooshed against you as he huffs.

“i’m sleepy though, i wanna have a bath and play video games with you instead. ‘ts no fair.”

“i’ll give you a kiss for every goal you score.” it’s quick, your reply — it doesn’t give him a moment to consider it because you know it’s a bargain he can’t pass up. only a few simple things could get nagi seishiro motivated and your kisses were right up there next to video games and well— that’s it.

“wan’ them now. need ‘em for a power up.” it’s hard to say no to him when he’s giving you that look, it’s sleepy and doe-eyed and there’s a soft glow that swims in the deep colour of his eyes that makes you smile before you’re scratching your hand through his hair. it makes your boyfriend shudder and he pulls you closer before you’re reminded of the time limit when reo sends you a wave followed by a grumpier sort of look.

“three goals for three kisses.” your words are rushed but they make nagi stand to full height just as quickly despite the way his arms remain around you — head leaning into the press of your palm when it cups his cheek.

“yay.” it’s soft, spoken under his breath when you push his hair from his features to peck him once on the lips, followed by another before he’s meeting you quickly for the last — urging it to be a little deeper than the other two as he pulls you into him. you hear him hum and you decide to give him a little extra motivation when you swipe your tongue between his lips, hearing a sweet whimper sound from him before he’s parting them for more — but just as quickly as it deepens, you pull away to grin.

“hey, why’d you pull away. wasn’t done yet.” nagi’s words are whinier now but there’s a soft flush on the tips of his ears and you think it’s cute just how easy it was to get him drowsy on kisses.

“it was just for good luck. three goals, sei. then you’ll get more!” you let your fingers scratch through his messy hair again as he groans, followed by a quick thumbs up to reo from over his shoulder before you’re pushing him lightly. he sways before he turns and you laugh at the next pout he sends you as his arms fall to sway by his side — his eyes still on you even as he makes his way back towards the team, although there’s something darker in his gaze now.

“eh, i guess. but it’s so bothersome, three goals is too easy.”

© 2023 GAROUJO. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

AN UNEXPECTED REPLACEMENT. ayato

pairing; ayato x fem!reader

genre; strangers to not-so-lovers au, slight crack, fluff and angst (only if you squint hard enough).

word count; 11.6k (i've spent too much hours on this omg)

summary; who would have thought that you, the younger sister of a lowly clan far from inazuma city, would end up in a blind date with the kamisato ayato? the instructions were simple; make an appearance on the behalf of your sister, do what she requested you to do, and pretend as if nothing happened the day after. the main objective? leave a bad impression on him.

content; nobleman!ayato, mentions of some inazuma characters, slight mentions of death, some made up inazuma lore (especially of the reader clan), mentions of manipulation, sir kamisato is whipped, some kissing is thrown in there, there's a tension between these two idiots btw and uhh, this fic has so many clichés and is so unrealistic so please bear with it :3

notes; the main theme of this fic is heavily inspired by a business proposal because i am obsessed with the show except that all of these are happening in inazuma settings and i am an ayato simp. also, this is heavily unedited ;;

"brother," the soft voice of his younger sister was all too familiar, the way she called him since they were young made him knew instantly that it was indeed ayaka's voice. well, he technically did have ayaka as his only sibling, and maybe, thoma was also considered as his partner in crime and his brother in some way.

he hummed, slightly acknowledging his sister presence in his room. although the paperwork was too much on days like this, especially when it was nearing the annual inazuma festival, he didn't let his stress took over his exhausted state. instead, he stood up and went to ayaka, leaving his study a mess, patting her head multiple times and gave her a small smile, because hearing someone's voice after a tiring day made his mood a little bit better, precisely when it came to his own family.

"is there something you would like to talk about?" the slight croak in ayato's voice made ayaka looked up at him, pitying his brother even more than her own self. on days like this, both of them had a lot of works to do, but nothing could compare with the burden her brother had to carry alone.

the tiredness was very much evident in the way ayato took a heavy breath from time to time, waiting patiently as to what she would like to voice out, and this made ayaka questioned her decision.

still, she had already discussed what had been weighing her mind from the start with thoma, and now that thoma was also on the same team as her, might as well she braced herself and quickly went through her thoughts over and over again before ultimately told ayato what she and thoma had been planning all this time.

"brother, i would like to discuss.. some things with you. and please, take this with a grain of salt," how could ayato say no? when his sister looked at him with a look he always had a soft spot in his heart, "i am all ears."

"thoma and i.. have been arranging some affairs regarding our clan and uhm, it heavily involves you and mother's last request," the way ayaka stuttered because of her nervousness and when he heard the last words came out from his sister's mouth, he immediately knew, what affairs she had brought up into her hands.

specifically, marriage affairs.

of course, ayato didn't actually hate the idea, the only thing he slightly disliked was how almost everyone he had been set up with only came to him because of his social status, and it looked like he would be going to yet another date with some random girl in inazuma.

sensing how quiet and awkward the air was, ayaka quickly regretted killing his mood. mentally blaming herself, she should have known better than telling ayato about this matter once again, even at times like this when the clan was super busy.

"i am sorry if i acted carelessly when you are currently rushing out to fulfil your duties, but thoma and i think you should unwind once in a while and—," ayaka stopped herself from blabbering too much, seeing how ayato looked at him lifelessly, she couldn't read his expressions and this was definitely a bad sign, "brother, i'll just cancel our plan. is that okay with you—

"no," ayato cut her off, knowing ayaka too well as if he knew himself, he knew that his little sister slowly taking the blame onto her, and he hated that the most, especially when ayaka actually came with the efforts of making him having his own family as per their mother's wish on her deathbed although he knew she was busy as him and still made her time to do what the best for him, as well as for the clan.

"i will go. you are right after all. i should definitely come out and socialise, it has been quite a stressful week for me too," he gave ayaka a timid nod, "you and thoma have done so much to me, why should i turn down you and mother's request, right?" a sudden, small hug by ayaka was comforting enough for him. the pain of losing their mother suddenly resurfacing and ayato pushed the negative feeling, he knew ayaka tried her best and so did he.

the way ayaka looked up at him with a mix of joy and pain at the same time made his heart shattered into pieces.

both of them were strong, those were the last words from their mother.

"so, who is this person i'm meeting up with?" he chuckled into the hug, and he definitely didn't want to disappoint his mother from above.

the loud slam from the door behind you almost left you flinched and hurt yourself from banging your knees with the lower part of the wooden table. a sigh escaped you momentarily and you quickly thanked the archons that your reflexes were fast enough.

"what brings you here? i almost have a heart attack because of you," who would barge into your room other than your own sister? the supposedly head of your family clan—which wasn't really that powerful—was the only one who loved interrupting your privacy, even in your room. she was unlike any other ladies from other clans, so petty and sometimes, you were so sure that your sister didn't like the idea of being the one who should take care of the things in your family.

the duty of overlooking the shrines at the southwest part of the whole yashiori island was divided to three other clans beside yours. to say that your family clan wasn't that influential like the six main clans, including the tri-comission, in inazuma was an understatement and you were perfectly fine with that.

"y/n, my beloved little sister," her whiny voice resonated through your small room and you ultimately could practically see why your sister suddenly acted super childish, hugging you almost too tight and choking you to death.

you didn't want to exaggerate, but honestly, sometimes her behaviour made you felt slightly ashamed being a part of her sibling. at least she was the mood maker in the household.

"what do you want? i can sniff your hidden agenda from miles away," pushing her away was a bad move, not when your sister turned to you with such a dramatic face and faked her teary eyes after that.

"y/n," you almost cringed at the clinginess your sister exerted, something about this made you thought of what had possibly came up when your sister was so desperate like this.

"how to end this?" she sighed, frowning seeing you acted uninterested when the problem was way bigger for her than you would have initially thought, "well, you see," her hands grabbed your shoulder, slightly forced you to listen her storytelling about what happened, "i just came back from lunch with mother."

"and?"

"for god's sake, listen to me thoroughly on this one. it's not like i am wasting your precious time," she, indeed, was wasting your precious time, but again, she was your sister, and her stories often peaked your interest when you actually decided to hear her words.

"she told me to go to a blind date," your eyes couldn't stop themselves from widening, shocked at hearing the news came out from your sister's mouth, the one and only who you knew was the first person who objected the theme of blind dates and arranged marriages.

"what?!" you half-screamed when her words were finally registering inside your brain, "are you saying that you aren't going to stay single anymore?" your unfiltered words came out before you could actually comprehend what you had accidentally said, and for the first time in your life, you couldn't believe that your sister was going to actually go on a blind date.

a slap to your back was felt and a heavy glare was sent towards your sister, "haven't i already said it is a blind date? that doesn't mean i am going to accept ayato," she rolled her eyes, annoyed that you said something too truthful and hurt her pride.

"what do you mean ayato? is it kamisato ayato?!" you shouldn't freak out more than you already were, but you just couldn't help yourself when shocking news came tumbling to you, "lord kamisato who you hate for more than twenty years?! the yashiro commissioner?!"

"calm down," seeing you panicked now made her day felt much more worse than the uneventful day of ayato being her first childhood enemy back when your family was still living in inazuma city. your sister suddenly felt irritated recalling all the memories of ayato stirring around her life back then, and now she was set up with him? oh, what a cheery on top!

and although ayato might not remember your sister anymore, the deeds he did back then—embarrassing her in front of ayaka, laughing at your sister demeanor and appearance, and worst, making a mess with the first pair of good shoes she had—weren't something she could easily shrug off.

and no matter how drastically ayato had changed from what she heard so far—humble, kind, mature, basically unlike the ayato from her livid memories—since he became the commissioner and took the people trust he was forced into at such a young age, your sister would always scoff every single time she heard someone praising ayato.

"what's the point of me going to the date when all i have always believed in is fate," her shoulders dropped, hands clamping at your face, her eyes somewhat shone in a mischievous light and you were a little confused as to her response to this.

but something about this made you almost rolling onto the floor, you just couldn't imagine how awkward the date would have been and imagining your sister comical face made you snorted, "well, i wish you a really have a nice day to you, wait, i mean have a nice date," you couldn't contain your laugh anymore, chuckling halfway when she once again palmed your face in her hands, while sending back the infamous mischievous smile of her to you. uh oh, you thought.

"what insane plan have you think of this time?" your sister was cunning as a fox, you knew her trait since day one, but the nervous laugh you let out seeing her eyes turned suddenly brighter made your stomach churned at the sight. something about this was off.

"my kindest sister in the whole world," you definitely didn't like where this was going, something was definitely off when her tone changed, "i've made up my mind, so please, go to the blind date in my regards."

you almost, almost pushed your sister hard enough for her to fall. luckily, your body was too stunned. unluckily, you accidentally hit her arms too hard that she winced in pain.

"are you out of your mind?!" your voice might have been heard throughout the whole house, because the next moment your sister asked you to keep silent and begging her eyes out for you to do what she intended at the first place.

"no," you shook your head, "no, no, there's no way i am the one going to that date when i barely know lord kamisato. and from what i have remembered correctly, you are the one who should go. not me," you emphasised word by word, covering up your panic when all you wanted to do was cursing your sister and let out inappropriate words.

"it is a blind date, y/n. you shouldn't know that much about your date partner, right?" she still didn't back down, giving you those eyes that made you having the urge to rip them out of their sockets, "no! i said no, and that's enough," you could be stubborn if you wanted to, "there's no way i am going to help you. when mother literally told you about this on her own," you ignored her pleading, smoothly went to your study and continuing what you had abandoned before your sister came into your room without your approval.

now that you thought of it, how rude of her.

you didn't mean to stay mad at her, but a blind date with the head clan of another, in which a much more powerful clan, didn't sound a great idea to you.

you huffed, scrunched your nose before ultimately attempting to kick your sister out of your room, "wait, wait. i'll reward you!"

"do you really think that this type of manipulation is going to work out on me? get out of my room, sister," you dragged her body with you and opened the door, "don't you have any bits of sympathy left in you? because you have always knew of my hatred towards ayato—

"no, no, no. guilt tripping isn't going to work out on me either," you nudged her body forward and closed the door, the continuous banging surely gave you a headache but you decided to just ignore your sister.

it should be easy, you were born for it.

"i'll give you some mora for you to pay your compensation to the kujou clan," your mind stopped functioning, and before you knew it, you instinctually opened the door to see her standing tall in front of the door, "i know you aren't really having a good financial recovery after all you did to oppose the vision hunt decree and when your name was up there in the most wanted list. but now that the almighty shogun has abolished the decree, i'm sure it is the right time for you to pay back the compensation you promised a long time ago when you accidentally hurt one of the soldiers from that clan," your sister definitely knew how to play her cards well, because you were now hesitant and didn't like the way how she was smiling winningly.

you didn't mean to hurt that poor soldier, it was just that you didn't bear to see the vision of your mother's was ripped out from her, and you accidentally awakened your power to scare the unfortunate soldier.

only to know that the soldier was under the kujou clan and a representative was sent for you to prove your loyalty towards the shogun in form of compensation after all the ruckus ended.

the fact that you were undergoing a financial problem didn't help you at all. the price of paying back what you had done to the soldier was worthy more than your monthly allowance.

you had promised yourself to not drag any of your family members into this matter, no matter how many times your mother insisted that she could pay on your behalf, you often rejected her offer which resulted in her giving up to persuade you.

so now, when you really needed it the most, and the chance was right there in front of your very own eyes, you were hesitant.

"it's fine," you whispered, not more towards the figure in front of you but more to yourself, "it's alright, i can handle this on my own."

"are you sure? a blind date isn't that bad. a high rank official like ayato wouldn't even bat an eyelid towards us," your sister convinced, and maybe, she did have a point.

"imagine if you have finally paid the compensation, you could buy that one kimono you've always dreamt of, but seeing how you are so aware of your own money, it scares me honestly," she nodded, slightly comforting your sudden trembling figure, she knew she hit a jackpot with this one, "only if. what a pity. i want to see you enjoy yourself again like before."

"fine."

your sister broke into a smile, "what did you say again?"

"do i really need to repeat myself?"

"come on now, don't be so gloomy. shoulders up like a real inazuman lady," you coughed at her words of teaching you etiquette when she herself didn't follow the etiquette quiet well, "and don't consider this as a type of your so-called manipulation, let's say that this is my form of gratitude towards you," you gave her a calculating gaze, pondering over and over whether you were sure about your wavering decision just now.

"make sure i don't regret this, sister," you sighed, all emotions came up to you at once when she hugged you and gave an affirmative nod, "i'll tell mother about this, she would be super delighted hearing that you are going to the date!" her happy voice made your heart thumping against your ribcage so badly, mentally blaming yourself that you weren't strong enough to resist the tempting offer she gave to you and silently fell into her trap.

at least you were going to get out from the burden that was eating you alive for the past week.

just what mess did you have gotten yourself into?

reality hit you really hard when the weekend came by. the moment you opened your eyes upon seeing some light penetrated through the window, you instantly knew that you would regret this.

just by thinking about what you were going to do today made you almost lied to your mother and sister that you were falling ill, but then again, your sister knew how to read your body language, and that excuse inevitably checked off from your list of last minute getaway from the situation you somehow indulged in.

it's do or die, do not disappoint me, your sister words replayed themselves in the back of your head. you didn't really find out why she took this too serious. not when you were the one meeting up with lord kamisato as his date instead of the older one. the audacity of your sister was something else, you gave that.

"listen."

you sat across the small wooden table, straightening your back to look at her directly into the eyes.

"let's cause a scene."

when your inner self was trying to be nicer of your perspectives towards your sister, that was the time she proved you wrong. oh, she was way crazier than that, "let's scare him away."

"are you insane? why should i be partaking in this? if this is your way of getting that revenge on lord kamisato, i promise you i'll quit right this instant. honestly, why did i even agree to your stupid plan in the first place?" you glared at your sister, and for a moment, your sister scowled at your behaviour towards her as the eldest sibling, "little sister, you are so boring."

"think about this twice," she continued, knocking her knuckle repeatedly to get your focus whilst skilfully dodging your fiery state, "first, if the date goes bad, no one would dare setting themselves up on any blind dates with us anymore, right?"

you unknowingly rolled your eyes—while you who also didn't like the general idea of blind dates too, because love couldn't be forced by setting strangers up with each other, at least you weren't this devastated as much as your sister—and for sure your sister took notice of this, "second of all, trust me, if you act with little to no manners towards that rascal commissioner, he would definitely believe that we aren't interest in the date at all."

she gave you a grin, too wide for your continuous unsupportive attitude at her unconvincing reasons, "lastly, i will treat you for the rest of the weekend. how's that sound?"

you breathed out heavily, she was really keeping her stance in this matter.

who was your sister even kidding? she could say that carelessly without a single care in the world to your own face when you were the one who would be meeting up with lord kamisato. you were the one who would say that your sister clearly didn't want to be on that date, and instead, put you as her replacement.

not when your own mother put you in the finest kimono you'd ever laid your eyes on, even your first time got to wear the beautiful pair of shoes, perfectly styled hair and those hairpins and ornaments you had always drooled over seeing they decorated nicely on top of your mother's head were now placed on yours.

because she kept on insisting that you should always look your best for the rest of the day. your date partner was the kamisato ayato, there was no doubt that she wouldn't want her own daughter came at the estate with a bad first impression.

you had to admit, this was the best look you'd ever tried for the longest time.

unbeknownst to her, you had agreed to your sister plan accordingly upon countless times of her begging you to do what she wanted you to do.

"one, introduce yourself as the younger sister. two, pretend as if you're uninterested. it would be much better if you are being impolite from the start. three, tell him that i couldn't attend the date. make it clear that i, or even you, against it. four, end the date quickly and do what you want. you could finally put your acting to a good use. the main objective? leave a bad impression on him by the end of the date."

and now that you were here, in front of one of the most elegant buildings throughout inazuma, all of these finally sunk into your unprepared mind. you were nervous.

travelling here back from your own small hometown was taking a toll inside you, and you were already gasping for air before the real deal even began.

"greetings," one of the servants bowed down to you, probably intimidated by your looks. if only she knew, how shaky your legs were underneath the kimono, she would definitely judge you right this instant, "welcome to the yashiro commission headquarters, or informally known as the kamisato estate."

despite your mission of exacerbating the date, you couldn't help but stare in awe at how truly big and spacious the land was, noticing few beautiful details here and there, before you felt something—or rather someone—behind you.

"lady y/n?" you pivoted on your feet, turning your whole body to face somewhat a familiar face. oh, you were no lady alright but this man kept on calling you with that title which didn't suit you by any means.

the blond-haired yet humble figure introduced himself as thoma, the housekeeper of the estate, "it's nice seeing you here, miss," he gave you a welcoming smile. what an odd hair colour for an inazuma man to have, but you decided to not dive further into your own curiosity of his background.

you gave him a small nod, confirming to yourself that you didn't want to come out rude at him when all he gave you was a cheerful smile that put you at ease, despite your sister's last advice; be rude to almost everyone at the estate, if you are brave enough to do so of course.

"miss y/n, i believe my lord is waiting for you inside. i hope it goes well for the both of you," if only thoma knew, what kind of act you were going to put up afterwards, he would instantaneously regret saying that to you.

you felt bad for not saying anything towards thoma all this time he escorted you, but the way everyone looked at you during the whole time since you had arrived until the very moment the two main guards were opening the main door for you, you were feeling uncomfortable. this feeling of being the center of attention made you felt so cautious of your behaviour. everyone was judging you, and you were highly aware of that one fact.

"i'll take my leave. i must say, it isn't the best for me to interrupt you and my lord," you mentally thanked the archons for thoma wise choice. if not, he would see your acting and thought that you were being such a—

the doors opened wide in front of you, no cue or signal was given, and behind them, standing the man who you had been thinking about for the past few days, and the first thing you saw was the kamisato ayato greeting you with a bow and gave you a charming smile.

now that was a rare sight to see, especially in front of your very own eyes.

he was smiling, and you cursed silently under your breath at how good-looking this man was, mentally told yourself to calm down, because you were nervous as hell and almost tripping yourself the moment you stepped inside before you collected your confidence and self-esteem.

if your sister succeeded manipulating you for the damned money, might as well you did your best and got your hands on it.

you were finally determined to do what your sister had asked you to do. something about actually being in this private household, with only lord kamisato in front of you, made you gained so much believe in yourself.

yes, if you were going to get the money, you should just go for it.

cue.

ACT I

pretending in fixing your kimono theatrically—like a typical arrogant, rich lady—whilst looking up directly into his eyes, you firmly put some pressure on ayato's shoulder, and the way his eyes were quick enough to look down at your hand touching his formal wear made you felt half satisfied.

you smiled, only one side of your mouth curved upwards, "hello, ayato," throwing his title aside, you brushed him off with the palm of your hand, "let's sit down, shall we? my legs are tired after all that exhausting trip to this stuffy place."

you can finally put your skills in acting to a good use, your sister words constantly replayed themselves at the back of your mind.

if you had earned the award for the best play back in your school theatre once, you shouldn't doubt yourself, right?

you sat before ayato could, something that you knew, was so rude to do, especially when the person in front of you was someone with an immense power in the politics and official affairs.

no one likes a woman who is too whiny, who often complaining over little things and rude, this sounded about right for you to worsen the date.

ayato sat down gracefully across the wooden japanese table, bowed down once again and for a moment, your heart dropped at his mannerism, were you being too rude whereas this person still acting like you didn't?

no, there was no way you should think of that when there was a generous amount of money on the line.

"greetings, lady y/n. i hereby acknowledge why you are here today instead of your sister. it's a pleasure to meet you—

"oh my, it's so hot in here," you abruptly cut him off, confidence taking over you for the second time. you fanned yourself rapidly, fingers silking through your hair slowly as if putting a show and ultimately loosened your kimono sash.

you could see ayato lifted his eyebrows at your brave attempt from the corner of your eyes, and you were confused as of why he didn't bring out any sorts of reaction because if you were in his shoes, you would get anyone who dared to do this kind of unholy and embarrassing thing in front of you out of the room.

however, you weren't going to expose your bare skin in front of the expressionless eyes, and instead exposed the undergarment underneath your loosening kimono, just enough for him to see the skin in between your collarbone and the bridge of your shoulders.

the length you were willing to take and make him disliked you was even beyond your own initial plan.

no nobleman likes someone who's exposing the skin, even the slightest.

"ah, that's more like it. what did you say again, hm?" you put your arms comfortably onto the surface, hands reaching out to the cup of tea that had been served prior your entrance.

the way your hands were trembling to act natural made you gave a nervous smile to the silent man, "ah, yes," you let a faint laugh at your own involuntary actions, stopping yourself before you sounded like an idiotic maniac. the other unoccupied hand slapped your head gently, as if you were slow at catching up with his words, "i am the younger sister," you took a sip, let the bittersweet taste engulfed your taste buds, "she didn't want to come as she is very much losing her interest in you and the date."

ayato tilted his head, eyeing you with such curiousity, "and so she sent you here because you are interested?" that was the only logic he could put out after waiting for you to take some time saying quiet unimportant things to him.

"sir—" the ceramic cup in your hand was long forgotten, and you accidentally called him by his dedicated title, "i assume that you are fairly mistaken. indeed i came here as a replacement of my sister but, by any means, i am nowhere interested in the date," you took a bite of the delicious dango in front of you, didn't even bother to offer him to dine in together.

"i understand."

you knew lord kamisato was a serious person and didn't like small talks from countless stories you'd heard, but you didn't know he was this serious.

you pointed him directly with the dango stick, mouth still chewing the remains inside and simultaneously voiced out, "i am not that eager just like what you had said earlier," you sighed heavily, shoulders visibly dropped pretending to be upset when all you could feel was cringe to do such things at him, "let me get my point across, i am not fascinated by the blind date," you took his portion of the dango that had been served for you two with the emptied stick, smiling slyly at him observing you with his arms now brought to his chest, plopping the said food into your mouth, "and you."

now that should hit him right on his face, a man will lose interest if the woman isn't, right?

ayato couldn't contain but chuckle lightly at your demeanor, something about you definitely entertained him and the said date. he signalled you to come closer, the black gloves definitely caught your sight as ayato fingers curled, and you did, not expecting anything from him, "i do prefer an honest woman over hypocrite who lies."

for a brief moment, you were stunned at his sudden commentary about your talks, eyes glued to the ethereal face he had, lavender eyes hinting such amusement at you who caught off guard. you didn't expect to see the beauty mark underneath his lips this up close. he was beautiful, might be the most beautiful man you had ever seen—

before anything, your rational side quickly took over your fuzzy mind, pushed him away playfully and slowly brought the strands of your hair behind your ear.

totally didn't expect ayato to make a comeback with those words.

ACT II

"anyways," you fixed your sitting position, smiling once again at the sharp gaze he sent to you. a sudden wave of nervousness approached you now that you knew this lord did know how to play around with his words. if you weren't aware of your acting, you would drop off the act and might ask ayato for his forgiveness as you were being unreasonable throughout this supposedly blind date.

"i have been with multiple men before," you continued, "total of five, or, wait, was it six already?" you tried your best to emit the red flag aura at him, even lying about your relationships when the truth was nowhere near, "all of them didn't last long though. the longest would probably be two months," acting like a random playgirl should be easy for you, and you were convinced that a man would ultimately push a girl away if they knew that the girl casually coming from a man to another as if hopping around to test the water without a single care in the world.

now that should be an easy toxic trait.

ayato casually picked up the boba drink beside him, and you were quite baffled to see lord kamisato nodding to himself, as if he was approving mentally at the sweet taste of the drink, "hey, listen to me while i am talking," you knocked the surface of the table repeatedly, and it was proven enough for ayato to look directly into your eyes. lord, did he even know how much confidence you were losing when he gave you that look, because you were indeed losing your sanity over his cold eyes.

"ah," he sure loved bringing his arms to his chest, eyebrows lifted up, as if he was mocking you, "you are telling me that you are aware of your wavering love life, and you aren't interested in me and our date. that says much that you are changing for the better," he tilted his head to the side, resting his amused face on the back of his palms, "you did some progress."

you almost coughed, why did he have to be so positive even in this current situation?

you said that not to tell him that you were finally serious in your fake love life, you said that to scare him off with how your fake previous relationships ended.

you almost groaned in distaste, it was harder than you thought it would.

unknowingly picking up the food, you kept on chewing and chewing, one after another, mind was racing with lots and lots of thoughts before you suddenly realised how stupid you might have looked in front of lord kamisato, maybe akin to a homeless man devouring the leftover food with such speed as if it was his last meal.

ACT III

"ah!" your high-pitched voice caught ayato attention to the fullest, if he was casually staring at you the whole time you were eating while his untouched portion was still there in front of him, this time around, he looked at you with a serious face.

the question of, "did something happen?" left his own mouth before he could filter his words, but the moment you looked up at him, faking your sad face, he knew you were playing with him yet again.

ayato was a genius for reasons. he literally knew how to read people easily as the outcome of years he was exposed to the dirty politics behind the scene since he was young. unfortunately for you, you were no exception.

the moment he saw you pulled up your hand, pecking 'your' diamond ring multiple times as you went, "oh honey, are you okay? does it hurt clashing with the plate?" he knew he was in for another scene.

"oh, i am so glad you aren't being scraped by this stupid glass slab. need to maintain your shine, okay? i spent a whole whopping millions on you," you cringed at your own words, pretending to be super into your mother's marriage ring she lent to you for the sake of your presentation on the date.

a woman who is crazy over luxurious things, no man likes that.. right?

only to see that lord kamisato wasn't even questioning your whole dramatic scene and he only reassured you with a small smile.

he was unbelievable, truly.

you couldn't think of any other things to act out, all cards had been played, yet the results by all of them were much more disappointing.

it was hard to make up your own stories here and there when lord kamisato genuinely asked you questions about your life, and because you were so clueless of doing anything to 'scare' him away from you, you followed along the conversation before the situation turned more tensed and worst.

of course, with some fake acts and complaints in between your answers.

"thank you for entertaining me," even after all those crazy acts you had put up with, he was still being respectful to you, accompanying you until the outside of the estate, sending you by himself while ignoring all the prying eyes. instantly, guilt came crashing down at you all at once.

despite feeling horrible doing all of the things to make the date unlikeable to lord kamisato, at least the money was guaranteed to be yours and the date was finally over! nothing could compare with the relief that washed you all over, it was definitely the best feeling you had ever felt once in a while.

however though, you still couldn't break the chain of acting you did throughout the date, you suddenly thought of a final card to make him remember that you were such an awful woman with an awful attitude.

the last card you could think of, here goes nothing.

ACT IV

"ayato," saying his name casually all this time actually made you felt less awkward now, and you immediately reminded yourself to keep yourself in check because lord kamisato was still the head clan of the known yashiro commission, and he was way superior than your humble being, "while you're thanking me for my fun presence," you twirled your hair, and winking at him, "i want to thank you for the free, magneficent food."

you didn't know how you becoming braver than usual, but you did, and the way you actually closed the gap between you a little bit closer for you to reach his ear, you knew he could feel your breath on his neck, because the space left felt too close even in your own consciousness, "and for the view of your handsome face too," you pulled away, faintly caressed his slight flushed cheek and his formal attire.

the way ayato slightly caught off guard seeing you acting like this, when he heard from the shuumatsuban that you were a dignified woman in their eyes, baffled him to say the least.

but the way your trembling hand came up to him just now, and the way you almost tripped yourself once again before you left his sight, ayato knew something wasn't right and it amused him.

you knew how to run your mouth, he gave that, and this, you being like this the whole time, actually peaked his interest.

ayato didn't like wasting his time in such things, and although you came into his life not so long ago, he couldn't help but have to admit that you definitely delighted him in many ways.

"my lord," thoma greeted him when he walked back to the main garden, relishing himself within the pleasant view in front of him. he didn't miss the way thoma eyes shone bright under the sunlight, and instantly knew, that his unofficial right-hand man wanted to ask him how the date went, like how he always did to him with the previous ones.

"how was the date? lady y/n seemed very nervous the whole time i walked her to meet you. it might have been nerve-wrecking for her to replace her sister as your date," thoma laughed when he was brought back to the memories and the loud silence between you and him a few hours ago, "she must have been very shy when she met you."

"oh?" ayato's voice sounded much more cheerful than he intended to let out. he found it more interesting hearing aloud on thoma opinions about you which in any case, was way more different than his, "is that what you think so?"

"yes, my lord," he paused, "in my opinion, she was very awry throughout the walk and she didn't even say a word to me. you could say that we were pretty awkward with each other as she was being very cautious about the whole situation and to me," thoma added.

ayato hummed upon hearing thoma further opinions regarding you. was it terrible that he found the date way more interesting than his own work?

if he was tired because of the preparations for the annual festival beforehand, then keeping up with your antics had been such a stress reliever for him. in some twisted way, he actually did mean his last words to you. you are entertaining him, even until now with you aren't even in his sight.

"thoma."

"is there anything you would like me to help, my lord?"

"no, thoma, it's not that," ayato smiled, the way he just remembered all those not-so ladylike things you did made him felt much more at ease now, "the date went well."

"my lord?" thoma couldn't stop staring at how the head clan answered him with a smile he never thought ayato would show after a date, "..what you meant is?" he just couldn't believe his own eyes, whether this was some sick illusion for him to see ayato smiling after all those frowning and serious mode he had set himself in within the past weeks for the sake of carrying out a successful celebration near in the future, for the sake of inazuma.

"the date," he repeated, fully turned himself towards thoma who was still in disbelief, "the date went well."

the words were the only confirmation thoma needed, maybe to ayato, the date went well as if 'went smoothly like all the blind dates he had been set up with before'. after all, ayato was known for saying two different things yet had the same meaning behind them.

"at least the date wasn't boring."

now that left thoma speechless, as ayato heading back to the estate, leaving thoma behind with more questions than ever.

seconds turned to hours, hours turned to days, and it had been more than two days since the date and all you could hear was how your sister convinced you that you shouldn't worry because lord kamisato wouldn't even bat an eyelid towards you. which, in all honesty, was the truth and the most logical thing to calm you down.

you were hopeful that you wouldn't come across the path with lord kamisato anymore, because remembering the acts you put out for a show towards him were haunting you even more than you liked.

a mere lady from an unknown clan wouldn't have a chance to meet lord kamisato again, that was what you had been saying to yourself for the past hours.

up until this moment, you wished to bury yourself underground and never saw the light of the day once again. you were so embarrassed, it was insane how you even had the courage to be such a low woman in front of lord kamisato.

on the brighter side; your compensation was settled and now you were finally, finally free from this burden.

on the darker side; your mother was so happy that one of her daughters apparently had been going through a date with an amazing man himself. if only she knew, how misbehaved you were, she might make you never stepped inside of the house anymore.

only the mere thought of it made you shivered.

"lady y/n," the call of someone made you snapped back from your tired mind and into the reality, too caught up in the past when you shouldn't, "you have been staring at the sakura tree for a long time now. what's the point of you taking turns with your sister to assist the shrine maidens when all you did was daydreaming the whole time?" the oldest shrine maiden gave you a lengthy lecture, and you bowed for too many times to count when you should be the one who took up this responsibility for the day.

the woman in front of you coughed, maybe she was too harsh on you. your status didn't define where you were currently standing in the sacred shrine, age and experiences did. that was probably why she often took you as if her own child, although your family clan was the one behind managing the shrine affairs here in this humble village.

"archons above, and in the name of the almighty shogun, please focus on your duty, lady y/n," she sighed exasperatedly, "tell me if you ever need something else," the woman gave you a bow before heading back towards the shrine, ultimately ended her scoldings onto you as you nodded your head followed after with a sincere apology.

with the shrine maiden out of sight, you took a stroll outside of the shrine for a while whilst looking up at the purple decorating across the canvas up in the air. today was unlike any other usual day of rains and storms, it was clear and fresh, and you basked into the momentary feeling.

here, on yashiori island, normal weather wasn't always sun and calm skies, thunders roared and heavy downpour were the norm to the people here, so to see that even the weather wanted you to ought peace put your heart at a more contented state.

this village and its people were those few who lucky enough to not affected by tatarigami decades ago, unlike how stories about the curse swept across the land and caused sickness and calamities to every living things on this island. sometimes, you were so grateful and taking such great pride of your ancestors for holding out and survived.

"y/n!" one left, and here comes another. the cheerful voice almost left you glaring at the person behind you, interrupting your peace when the mind went haywire was what you definitely needed the most right now. however, upon seeing the little boy who you so much adored waving at you, all your bad intentions died halfway.

"big sister! i totally don't expect to see you here," he ran to you with his little feet, grinning widely at seeing your face. the little boy was the son of the head village, often sneaking around knocking at your door to invite you playing a game of temari and a round of hide and seek.

he hugged your legs, and you quickly softened at the sight, "now, now, why are you here?" you patted his head. it was odd, but his little hug succeeded in slowing down your overthinking.

"father and mother are praying but it was so boring!" the mind of a child was so pure and fragile, you slightly chuckled at hearing his naughtiness, "good children pray too, you know? so, next time, if you go to the shrine with father and mother again, pray with all your heart. you might even get what you wished for!"

he looked up at you, his eyes were sparkling, showed that they were the most innocent pair you'd ever seen, "does that mean i can get to own a new toy?"

"yes, you can," confirming his statement with a thumbs up at the young kid, he then excitedly jumped up and down, "i have to pray well to get a new toy!" the way he was so joyful made you suddenly missing the feeling of doing what you wanted without thinking its consequences. ah, it would be so nice to feel that way again.

you watched him carefully, thinking that it would be a while for his parents to be done with their prayers. maybe you could watch over him for a moment, at least his presence brought comfort to you.

as if he could read your mind, the little boy took out a slip of bamboo from his kimono sleeves, "look at what i got today!" he said cheerfully, too eager to share the thing he mentioned within his hand to you.

you accepted the small piece of slip nonetheless, it read great fortune on it and you shook your head multiple times, "did you go and try your luck when your parents are praying?" the thing in your hand was in fact a fortune slip visitors always tried their hands on to know what they might encounter for the day at the shrine.

"yes! the big sister there told me that i will get super lucky today," he closed your hand with his own, as if giving it away to you and you tilted your head in confusion, eyebrows slightly raised at his actions, "and now i am going to share my luck with big sister y/n! now you and me will get super lucky for the rest of our life!" you heart warmed at his words, how much purer could this boy can be? you just felt the need to protect this boy from the dangers of the world.

wiping his face gently, you carried him on the back of your shoulders, and he opened up his arms, as if mimicking the flying birds he learned back in his class, "let's head back in. your father and mother must have been searching for you," you giggled when feeling him holding onto your shoulders dearly, "let's go!" he exhilaratingly swung his feet back and forth. it was really nice to not think about it for now, as your fullest attention was now on the boy on your back.

you settled him down once everything was safe, his little hand intertwined with yours before you spotted a group of shrine maidens—from what you saw with the outfits—grouping together at the front of the shrine, but what stood out the most was even the boy's parents were there amongst the crowd. it looked like as if the shrine maidens were paying respect to the two powerful figures around the village—the head village and his wife, with his son still clutching his hand with yours—that what you had assumed.

"father, mother, big sister y/n is here too!" he shouted, the child's voice caught everyone's attention and he let go of his hold, running towards his parents playfully.

you bowed down respectfully towards the parents from afar, giving them the nicest smile you could give out, legs continuing in hurry steps to catch up with the little kid that had long forgotten you behind him.

the closer you'd gotten, the air felt more suffocating than ever. something didn't sit right with you, not when everyone looked tensed and rigid the more you came closer. their postures told you everything.

you were about to question what happened, or why everyone was dead serious within the radius, but all you words died in your throat when you saw a certain blue-haired, tall and slender figure among them all. the white and pristine suit looked nothing but too familiar in your eyes and he was definitely the last person you would want to meet face to face.

his lavender eyes bore straight into yours and your steps halted midway from joining the crowd.

why does lord kamisato is here?

you were on the edge, panicking even more when he actually made his way towards you, was it too late to disappear now? you should have known better the moment you saw how the shrine maidens fidgeting their fingers from time to time. but then again, how would you even know it was him? out of all people?

"greetings," you just couldn't move your own feet, as if you had been glued to the same position all this time, even when your mind mentally told you to run away because the look lord kamisato gave you was screaming to you that he recognised you.

it was too unreal, your eyes must have been delusional and playing tricks on you. it could be it, yes, it was.

"lady y/n," the head village interrupted, as if trying to break you free from your stoic state, "this is the yashiro commissioner, sir kamisato," he introduced him to you when you didn't even flinch seeing the person messing up your mind and stared at him in disbelief. the people around you must have thought that you were just staring in awe when the reality was opposite of it.

"thank you all, for such company, but i would like to talk with lady y/n here. excuse us, as we need some privacy to discuss important matters," the way he punctuated those last words made your stomach churned oh so badly. why did he even instruct them to leave you two alone? you were dying of nervousness out in the open.

you wanted to curse, wanted to rip your hair apart, wanted to throw tantrum at the guy in front of you, he remembered your name, and now you were doomed.

a command was given, and everyone left scurried off, bowing to lord kamisato before the last one told him that if he ever needed anything, called her or any of them, only for the lord to shake her off, and said it was alright as he solely came here to visit the shrine.

you pleaded with your eyes to not leave you here alone with lord kamisato, but the young shrine maiden seemed to not catch your hidden intention.

getting anxious was the perfect way to describe this inexplicable feeling, there was no way lord kamisato wanted to discuss any matters with you. you never played an important role with the tri-commission, never really heavily involved with them except for your mother.

ayato, on the other hand, was thrilled to see you again. the desired feeling finally met its own end, the feeling to meet you again, because the only thing that made him lost interest in his works for the last two days was you, the only subject in his mind.

he never ever gotten off from his own tracks, or even strayed that far from his multitasking. people around him said that his mind was full of workloads, yet you, the ordinary lady from afar who he barely knew, was the one occupied his current state of messy mind.

often came up with questions about your whereabouts even when he didn't intend to, were you fine? did you eat well? because the last time he saw you eating at his place, the image of you devouring your—and his—portions made him smiled at the thoughts.

or, perhaps, did you miss him, just like how he did to you? he missed your intriguing presence, maybe even more when he just liked the idea of you entertaining him.

his speculation was right after all. you were just trying to ruin the date. the way you only looked at his black, shiny leather shoes convinced him that it was all an acting. you couldn't fool him, he knew it since the blind date.

the way you didn't dare to make an eye contact with him right at this moment convinced him that you were just an ordinary lady with a manner, and something inside him made him flustered looking at you smiling genuinely with the son of the head village back then.

"m-my lord," you finally greeted him properly after a moment of silence and the sounds of birds chirping, and ayato thought your stuttering was adorable, with the fact that you addressed him with his title.

it was such a sight to behold, the you from his own memories wasn't this attentive of her attitude.

while you were making a deep obeisance towards him, he never felt such triumph, the you from his mind wasn't this careful of her words and actions yet here you were stuttering, looking at all things beside him. all those feisty and bold words, they were gone.

"i beg your pardon, sir," you just couldn't stop shaking, mind went blank in seconds when you looked up at him silently pursuing you to continue with his observant eyes, "with all my utmost respects, what's the purpose behind your sudden appearance, sir?" you finally let out a sentence, it was taking ages and this was just not it if you wished to talk out with him any further.

ayato couldn't stop staring at you, from your less fancy kimono to your hands clasping together, he couldn't.

before he could respond to your question, he could hear the faint whisperings of others, did they know about the blind date? or you shut your mouth about it? because the look they gave to you was nothing less than analysing you, and maybe him.

that look a lot of people gave him once he took the name of his clan on his shoulders when he was younger.

"are you, perhaps, forgetting my duty as the yashiro commissioner, hm?" he brought his arms towards his broad chest, a sly smirk forming on his lips and you couldn't help but gaping at him, once again making yourself an utter fool.

all of the memories about your fake acting and the past blind date disintegrated within thin air along with the falling sakura, you were that shocked to see lord kamisato was actually in front of you again.

"the yashiro commission's duty is in charge of managing shrines, festivals and cultural events," you felt like a middle schooler when he gently reminded you again, only with that stupid, charming smile you wished to wipe off of his god-like face because it certainly did something inside you.

"i came here to supervise what is needed to be done, whether by the village or the shrine," he gave you a knowing smile, making you almost convinced that he knew you were here today, but it could be another trick your mind wanted you to fall into, "the summer festival is right around the corner. it would be such an inconvenient if you, and the whole village, missing out the festival. am i right, my lady?"

he talked as if this was his yearly routine, yet you didn't remember the stories of lord kamisato came to the village for such things, let alone the shrine. if he did, news must have reached your ears as quick as a flash.

"but it doesn't make any sense," your curiosity overpowered your anxious feeling, needed more detailed explanations from the man in question.

how much denser could you be? did he shall directly told you that he wanted to meet you, for his own personal matters? he lied to you, partially for covering the intentions behind his words, and the other was to make people surrounded him to be less skeptical.

it was funny, how he lied to you, when he was so sure that he hated lies and fake promises.

"oh? which part in my words that doesn't make any sense?" he leaned in, you didn't know how or when, but the space between you was slowly decreasing since the start of this conversation. his eyes zeroed on you before you turned red in embarrassment, "my lord, i-i don't think it's a good idea to act carelessly out here in the open," you turned your head away because having him this up close was too much for your heart to handle.

"and what's the reason, my lady? enlighten me," you swiftly increased the intense gap by taking a baby step backwards. his little actions irked you so much, it was definitely not a good sign for you to feel this flustered and shy. at this point, you knew he was messing with you.

"people are going to get suspicious, my lord," you gave out the best reasoning you could form, words after words came out of your mouth of why specifically he was the one who should be more careful, trying in convincing him to not stain his image, and all he thought was how adorable of you to becoming a stuttering mess, and it was all because of him.

if he only did this much, he wondered what would be your reaction if he did more, and why would you be so cautious anyway?

when lady guuji said he was a yashiro rascal, never would he thought that those words could be truer, especially when he went over such length to find you again here in this such modest village.

"i don't mind," all your words died, cheeks flushed upon hearing him, "it is quite pleasant to stumble across you once again, y/n."

did lord kamisato just, dropped all of his formalities in front of you? did he really call you only by your name so causally?

did he ever do this to somebody else?

you panicked for a brief moment, turning your head left and right before the line was clear. you didn't know why you were acting so recklessly in front of him, but the moment you pulled lord kamisato aside, far enough for other eyes to see and hear his last words that could rise suspicions and brought so many butterflies in your stomach, you were confused, either of your instantaneous actions, or even to your own feelings.

you didn't notice how long you held your breath, only to realise once you pulled your hand away from lord kamisato's and you regretted almost immediately at how sweltering the current situation was, a sigh of relief soon followed after, thinking that it would be safe to seek some explanations from him.

"sir, deepest apologies for interrupting you," you were really having a hard time to make your erratic breath steadier, it was harder when lord kamisato was taking his sweet time diverting his focus more on your words, "i am afraid if i misunderstood your words back then," you were at least trying to calm down, almost as if there was a war raging inside your brain telling you to behave at your best now that you had the only chance to sort things out that had gotten more bewildered as time went forward, "...and i truly think saying such scandalous words wouldn't get the best reactions out of public eyes."

ayato leaned onto the nearest flat surface behind him, intently hearing your apology and explanations as why you were quick to do beyond your thoughts, his arms crossing and he brought them towards his broad chest.

it was really entertaining when you tried to be alone with him, he thought. didn't you know if he being all alone with only you in front of him, hidden from prying eyes and gossips about him, that this made him wanted to just say out loud a more controversial topic to stir you than just those words he said beforehand? he only dropped your title, and you were already this alarmed.

he was definitely smitten, which weirded him out when his reasonable side took over his head.

again, he barely knew you, but why did he have the urge to make you his already?

"must i repeat myself, i don't mind, not even the slightest," you almost lost your footing hearing his direct answer, almost fell into his arms if not for the wooden fence that had been fenced throughout the outside of the whole shrine.

"w-what did you mean by that, sir?" he swore his heart melted seeing you became so bothered by his straightforwardness.

"let's just say that i am taking quiet a liking towards you, lady y/n," you were left speechless, as if someone took your breath away and you just couldn't believe what you were hearing. your sister words suddenly becoming more and more loud, he wouldn't even remember you, lies, she lied. she lied to you.

the plan, it actually backfired.

"i-i think you've gotten all wrong, sir—

you were sputtering nonsense, heart somewhat racing when you told yourself that this wasn't real, it wasn't the reality, "there's no way—

there was no way lord kamisato actually—

"relax, little one," you almost gasped hard hearing him addressing you, you didn't want to overthink. what did you hear again? were you this delusional to hearing nonsensical things? no, were you even fine in the first place?

"my lady," he should stop staring at you with such a gorgeous face, body towering over you. even when you were outside, the cold air added more red to your cheeks, you were literally burning, "are you alright?"

you were too stunned. eyes widening seeing how close you were with his figure, another step and there wasn't any space left. were you this close all this time?

why were you feeling so anxious? you were confused about your own feelings, but the way lord kamisato ultimately closed the little gap with a step forward, closer to you, your heart was beating so fast, it was the only sound you could hear beside your ears. it was piercing and you almost shying away before the warm feeling of his arms lingered around your waist.

if a passerby did come across seeing the both of you in such a questionable position, no, you didn't want to even think about it. it was already took a toll inside you to maintain focus on your overwhelming thoughts when his calm breathing beside the shell of your ear was the only thing you could give your attention to.

"ten dates," he whispered, low tone that never thought would awake something deep inside you, "go out with me for another ten dates. ten dates for me to prove myself, my lady," he sighed, tightening his hold with you in his arms, it was crazy how you fit him like a perfect puzzle piece, it was funnier that he would chase you, the girl who tried to leave a bad impression on him, only made him wanting for more, "i'll keep asking you out again and again, until your heart, too, has been settled in such decision."

with that, he pulled away to appreciate the beauty he saw within you, you were such a beautiful mess in his eyes. if he didn't maintain his composure, he might want to plant his lips on your forehead, he never thought he would be this stupidly craving for a little taste. this reminded him that he was still an ordinary man with such desires, only to be masked with a much more powerful and respectful title.

ayato was determined, and what he wanted, he often found a way around to achieve it.

it was a mistake to look at his face longing for you, too close, and you unknowingly melted in his arms, lost in his gaze, palms on his chest, fisting his suit a little bit too rough to calm your inner self.

butterflies dancing inside you, heart skipped a beat every single time he caressed your hair to the side to look at you more, to take in the sight before him because two days without your presence suddenly felt infuriating to him, the days after that date were bland and ayato thought to himself, was he always had been living such a dull life?

tensions multiplied the more you lost in his intense, ethereal, lavender orbs. you could practically feel the strong strings of attraction, and it was more than enough for it to swipe your balance away from your feet when lord kamisato took in a sharp breath, followed by his words of, "they said silence means consent, lady y/n. are you telling me that you are agreeing to my proposal, hm?"

you neither gave him a nod, nor denying his words, it was just too much. too much for your beating heart, and for your flustered state.

all you could do was gulping down the invisible lump in your throat for keeping such an intense eye contact for the longest time. you could see how serious he was about this, and your head thought that this might actually work for the both of you.

after all, you didn't know how, or why it happened, but you were just naturally attracted to lord kamisato more than you'd like to admit. ten dates weren't giving you any harms, right?

he leaned in, way closer than ever, and you eyes trailed down onto his pretty lips. it was hard not to stare, when he was a hair's breadth away from touching his lips with yours and—

"may i kiss you?" he asked you gently, securing his arms even more when he saw your eyes hinted a slight shock and yearning.

never in your life you would agree to such things impatiently, but you lifted yourself. somehow being in his arms felt too safe and brought you such comfort that you badly wanted to indulge in. you were freaking yourself out for behaving immaturely to this man, but all thoughts vanished once you felt his lips on yours.

gentle as breeze, soft as silk, the peck he gave to you was nothing more, or nothing less. it was perfect to not crossing the line, yet you knew there was no turning back when you pushed yourself more into him.

he smiled into the soft kiss, wishing to deepen the kiss, but he knew to be patient. was it bad that he wanted to cross all the boundaries just for you? it was ridiculous to feel this type of thing so early.

the way he held your face as if you were such a fragile being melted you in the inside, you unconsciously titled your face to feel more of him. all logical thoughts were nowhere to be found, all you could think of was how this man in front of you kissing you with such gentleness, and for a fleeting moment, you might have a tiny, minuscule crush on him.

to you, and to kamisato ayato, both of you might have to rethink the terms of love at first sight, because it definitely did work out its magic on him, and maybe, to you too.

taglist; @kazu-topia @sussydemon @hamayumis @a-fairytale @mouchie @achilleas-dream @stuckindreamland06 @nvicvi @kailluaken (usernames in bold are the ones that couldn't be tagged)

a/n; omg it has been such a long ride for me to push this fic out of the drafts. if you, the beloved reader, have reached this very end, thank you so much for reading! reblogs are greatly appreciated as always <3

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Eye of the Storm

SERIES SUMMARY: You always knew Tommy as the cheerful boy who took care of you. He always knew you as the smart girl that he visited by the docks. The daughter of a prostitute, the son of a deadbeat father; a soldier who protected his country; a whore who protected him; a gangster who controlled Brimingham; and now, a wife. War changes people, you just didn't realize that war could change you both. (angst, depictions of abuse, poverty, prostitution, canon-typical themes, death, war, time jumps)

Chapter summary: Everything unfolds and you were the eye of the storm.

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3

PROTECTION SERIES TAGLIST | PROTECTION MASTERLIST navigation

LONDON, 1919

Something clicked in Simon after Johnny’s funeral. He restricted you more than he did before. He was more forceful sometimes. You knew, because you braced yourself to face it everyday. 1…2…3…4…5… You had to count to ten every time he got mad. How many seconds will it take for him to lay his hand on you again? 

“From now on, you can’t come to the garden without asking for my permission.” When he saw your mouth open to protest, he added, “Don’t push it. You’re lucky I’m still allowing you to go.”

“O-of course, Simon,” you tearfully obliged. “I— “

“Tell me you love me.”

“I love you.”

“Good. Now, come here, darling. You know I can’t stand when you’re mad at me,” he coos and you oblige, finding yourself perched on his lap. You hated this; hated how he was treating you. Hated how his arms immediately wrapped around you. “I know that you’re mad at me,” he starts. “Especially with everything that’s been going on but I’m only worried that Tommy Shelby’s gonna take you.” 

“He’s not…you don’t have to worry about him, Simon,” you whispered. “I didn’t know that he was alive,”

“I know, I know,” he said. “But do you know where that puts me? You’ve been his friend since before the war and I’m not anything like him. It’s not you I don’t trust…it’s him. He’s a Birmingham rat with no respect. I want you safe. I want you here. If you behave yourself, then I’d slowly give you everything back. Hm?” he asked. 

You nodded, the small smile on your face could never convey how cold you felt.

Simon knows that what he’s doing is wrong but what else can be done? Tommy Shelby was back and there was no way he’s giving you up to some Birmingham gangster. It was just impossible to do so. It would hurt him and his ego. He’s never been declined of something before as an only child of two rich parents. If he’d be declined of your love and affection, he will burn the world and everything in it. You were the only thing he truly wanted and if it came to you, he’d do everything to never let you out of his grasp.

When he first seeked you out, you were eighteen. He was already enamoured, watching you from afar. You laughed with the girls and stayed with Big Johnny most nights. You were innocent, a fragile little thing that he wanted—needed. You listened to him and even treated him as a friend. It was different from how the girls treated him there. The girls would ask for gifts, and he bought them but you…you dressed up immediately after every visit. You’d smile at him before leaving, going to Johnny for your nightly lessons. He sometimes went to visit you just to talk. You were the most intelligent girl there and he always looked forward to seeing you again. If you slip away from his grasp, he wouldn’t know what to do. It’s why he bought you that house; why he gave you jewellery even before you were married. He wanted you to be reminded of him everywhere you went. It was dangerous dealing with your past—he knew that; but danger was something he’d walk on if it came to having you.  

“Darling, I was thinking…it’s been a while since we last went on a holiday. Do you want to go somewhere?” he asked. Reports of Tommy Shelby in London reached him. There was no way he’d let you meet again.

“Hm,” you hummed. “Can we go to New York?” you asked. “I’ve been wanting to go to Manhattan this time of year.”

“Yeah?” he asked. The farther you were from Tommy, the better. “Then, I’ll have things arranged and I’ll let you know, okay?” he kisses your temple as he passes by.

“Of course,” you replied. Your face seems so unreadable these days, but it always was. Can Tommy Shelby decipher the emotions written on your face or does he have to guess too? He knows that you were still keeping things away from him…knows that you’re not being fully honest with how you feel and who Tommy Shelby was in your life. He was fine not knowing as long as you were his. 

Irrevocably and utterly his. 

BIRMINGHAM, 1910

“You know, Tommy,” you said. “When I was young, my mother told me that there were other lands outside England…outside Birmingham that isn’t London,” you said. Your savings could take you to London, but you could never seem to find the time. Simon has been visiting you more and the owner of the brothel ordered you to always be available for him because of how much he spends on you.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I want to go to London at least once. Before I die, I want to go to London,” 

“I’ll take you to London,” he says, voice gruff from the cigarettes. “I’ll take you to London and I’ll take you to the whole world,” 

“You will?” you asked. You were always told by your customers that they’ll take you here and there…but with Tommy, you knew that what he was saying was true. He never liked to break his promises. “If you’ll take me there, I better save up money because there’s no way I’m letting you spend a fortune on me.”

“I’ll take you to New York, Paris, and all the major cities. We’ll see them for the first time together,” he promises.

“Together?”

“We’ll always be together, won’t we?”

“Of course, we will. Together,”

BIRMINGHAM, 1919

Grace has long been gone since Polly revealed the truth to her. Was it mad that Tommy didn’t feel any morsel of anything? He didn’t care if she betrayed him; didn’t care if she loved him…if anything, she was better off gone. It just…unsettled him. Was that the right word? He never liked Grace, but she was a good enough replacement for you in the meantime. She was good enough, but she wasn’t you, no matter how much Tommy forced himself to convince everyone that she was good enough. 

He didn’t even think of lighting a cigarette for her departure. These guns, Billy Kimber…his ambitions of wealth, power, and control were too consuming for him to think of anything else. Too consuming that he knew that all ambition all boiled down to you, that mansion, horses, and a garden. He looks at the toy horses you’ve given him as children. It’s been showing signs of wear; time has the power to tear the edges of something precious so easily. Tommy liked thumbing the wooden toy to keep him afloat sometimes. It reminded him of peace, of home, of you. 

“Tommy,” Polly called. Her conscience has been nagging her, steaming out of pores ever since Tommy showed her how much you meant to him. It was never easy remembering Tommy on the floor, so weak; so defeated. It was never easy to remember that she was the reason why Tommy was miserable. She took you away from him. She decided then, that she’d do everything in her power to help her grieving nephew. If your presence could show her any semblance of Tommy before the war, she’d take it. Maybe she should feel bad for burdening you with that weight on your shoulders, but she knew that you did it so naturally…so genuinely. She relieves herself of thinking that you and Tommy needed each other; so much so that the world she knows now will simply reintegrate. You were the glue that binds Tommy; the melted gold that holds the pieces back together. Without you, Tommy was broken—alone. She’d never want that for him. She’ll never want to see him like that again. 

NEW YORK, 1920

When you told Simon that you wanted to go to New York, you didn’t know that you’ll be staying there indefinitely. You just said that to appease him, really. He made sure that all of your belongings were kept and taken to America. What didn’t fit, you’d buy. He was more lenient here. He’d let you go, and he was back to the Simon you’ve always known. 

“You’ve been married for years,” his attorney’s wife recalls. “Where are the little Simons running around?”

“Oh-“ you looked at Simon to help you out, but he was too engrossed in his conversation with the lawyer to notice. “We’re still enjoying our marriage. Just the two of us,” you lied. “We like to travel and we’ll feel bad if we just…leave the child back home,”

“But you’re in New York,” she says, like it mattered. “Surely, you’ve been trying?”

“No, not really. Simon wants our child to be born in England.” you said.

“You’re not getting any younger, dear,” she says. “When I was around your age, I already had two children. I say, it’s better to start a family early,”

That night, when you were removing your jewellery, Simon laid his hand on your shoulder. He’s gentle in New York. Your shoulder used to feel heavy in London. He started kissing your neck and you allowed him.

“An heir wouldn’t be so bad,” he rasps, nibbling on your ear. “Maybe soon…I want to have you all to myself first. Don’t want you to love me any less because of a child,”

“I wouldn’t love you any less, Simon.” you smiled at him. You didn’t want to bear his heir but if he was convinced that you’ll love him less because of a child, you’ll string him along. 

“I know but then, you’d dote on him and be all…” he drones on, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“It’s alright, I don’t need anyone else. It can just be the two of us forever.”

BIRMINGHAM, 1911

“Tommy!” you called, walking through the muddy soil of the stables that he worked in. He took care of horses sometimes, to earn some extra money. It paid well and he was surrounded with the calmness of the horses that he took care of. He vowed to have his own stables filled with his own horses in the future. Maybe it was pathetic but Tommy was envious seeing things that he wanted being taken advantage of. He knew how to take care of horses but he never owned them. His dreams were so close yet so far. He was brushing the coat of one of the horses when you came barrelling towards him.

“Tommy!” you called again. “I’m free now. Let’s go!”

“Wait, wait,” he laughs, making sure that the horse—he secretly named him Hayday because the horse had a coat in the color of hay. He only told you that though. “Alright, Hayday. Let’s get you back to your stable,” he tells the horse, petting its snout. You smiled at his softness, following them quietly. You let Tommy do his job maintaining Hayday for a while, smiling widely when you saw him coming towards you. He was rubbing his face with water to get rid of today. 

“I smell.” he frowned, looking through his ragged satchel for a towel or an extra shirt. “Let me just…” he says, taking the shirt from the bag and then giving the bag to you. He turns around to remove his dirty shirt, tucking it between his legs and then changing into the cleaner shirt. You watched the way his back muscles flexed—working as a mechanic and carrying whatever he does was paying off. The clean shirt clung onto his figure nicely…you looked away before he could catch you staring though. “Thanks for keeping my bag,” he says, taking his bag from you. He hangs it on his shoulder and then links his arm with yours. You couldn't see the smirk that played in his lips.  “Where are we going again?”

“Remember, I told you to come with me to the market to buy something?” you asked him. He nods, letting you lead the way to the market. “Well, I’m free now. Let’s go.”

Tommy tells you all about his day on the way to the market, not knowing anything of what you had planned. It was his birthday last month, but you weren’t able to save up enough money for his gift because of a repair in your home. You drag him all the way to where the more expensive shops were, Tommy’s brows furrowing. 

“Here,” you said, stopping at a jeweller. You take him inside and he lets you. 

“What are we doing here— “

“Look!” you said, pointing at the gold signet ring on display. You leave Tommy to go get the clerk. You’ve been paying for the ring for a year now; little by little until you were able to fully pay for it. It was a gift for Tommy’s 21st birthday. You were talking to the clerk for a pick up when Tommy walks to you. The clerk gives you the red velvet box and you turn to Tommy, a wide smile on your face. 

“Who is this for?” he asked, frowning. Was this for that Rich Bastard? “You know I can’t afford that,”

“But I can. It’s for you,” you told him softly. “Happy birthday. I’m sorry it was a month late,” You open the box for him. “Go on, wear it.”

“Y/N…love,”

“You have to accept it. I saved up for that, you know?” He takes the ring from the box and slides it on his ring finger. 

“Thank you…” he rasps, his throat closing up. “For this.”

“It’s okay, Tommy. I’d give you the world if I can but for now, a ring would suffice, don’t you think?”

-

You both settled at an empty grassland by the docks afterwards. Tommy couldn’t stop looking at his ring. 

“I still can’t believe you got me a ring,” he says, looking at you. “It must have cost you a fortune, eh?”

“It’s okay, Tommy. I want to give you something more for being a great friend to me.” you tell him. He nods at your words. Friends. Is that all he’ll ever be? 

“I got you this,” he says, showing you the simple, lone daisy that he picked on the way here. “I…” he says, tucking it behind your ear. I wish I could give you more. You stopped breathing, the proximity was too much to bear. You could see the blueness of his eyes, the freckles that kissed his nose and his cheeks. You could see every eyelash. It seemed like he didn’t mind it either. He was looking at you intently, trying to memorize every detail of your face. A face that could start a war, he was almost positive of it. You both unintentionally lean into each other, Tommy’s eyes flicking down to your lips, breath hitching. 

“Tommy!” you jump away from each other, looking away. Fuck. He sighs in annoyance, looking at one of the guys he knew from work. 

Maybe next time.

CAMDEN TOWN, 1921

“Put him down, Ollie!” he shouts. “Put him down, mate. He is only little.”

“You on your own?” He asked Tommy.

Tommy glances around. 

“Seems so,”

Alfie Solomons always liked to play the best games. He had wide shoulders that matched how dominant and domineering he seemed. He was unpredictable, abandoning all sorts of things just to make sure that in the end, he gets the best deal. Tommy wondered what kind of deal he could put up with the Jewish gangster to double cross Simon Coventry, his biggest payer.

“Well, you’re a brave lad, ain't you?” he asked. “Want to take a look around my bakery? We bake all sorts here, mate, yeah. Did you know we bake over 10,000 loaves a week? Can you believe it?” 

Tommy listens to him drone on about bread. He asked for brown bread and was served one. 

“Come look,” Alfie says, leading Tommy to his office. 

-

“Well, I’ve heard very bad, bad things about you Birmingham people. You’re gipsies, right? So what, do you live in a fucking tent or a caravan?”

“I came here to discuss business with you, Mr. Solomons.” Tommy coughs. 

“Well, rum is for fun and fucking. So, whiskey, now that is for business,” he says, putting his bottle of whiskey for Tommy Shelby.

“Let’s talk first, eh?” 

“Suit yourself,” Alfie shrugs. 

“Heard you were dealing with billionaires,” Tommy brought up, trying to gauge the situation. He was sitting right in front of Alfie’s desk, noticing the latter reach for the drawer in his right. 

“You heard correct. What about it?” he asked nonchalantly. 

“Simon Coventry.” Tommy said. “He pays well?”

“Very well, mate.” Alfie replied, sipping on his whiskey. “Seeked for our protection services, invested…paid to kill for him. Has a wife, you know? Have you heard about her?”

“No,” Tommy shrugged, his voice monotonous, eyes bored. Alfie licks his lips. 

“Never met her…lovely wife, they say, yeah. A very lovely wife…but this lovely wife of his needs to be guarded. Don’t believe in all that…I don’t do that to women, but this lovely wife of his is…huh, well, told me to kill anyone who comes near her, yeah? And guess what, mate? You’ve a big fucking bounty written on your fucking forehead,” Alfie revealed. “Now,” he pauses, leaning on the table. “What is this business you’re looking for?”

“We join forces,”

“Fuck off. No! Categorical. Fucking ridiculous,” he leans back, scoffing. Tommy leans forward, clasping his hand over the table. 

“Mr. Solomons. Your distillery provides one-tenth of your income. Protection is another ten percent and the rest; you make from the tracks.”

Alfie fumbles with the handle but Tommy speaks.

“I know you keep a gun in the drawer beside the whiskey. I know you offer a deal or death. I know what I’m saying makes you angry but I’m offering you a deal. People don’t trust your protection anymore. What makes you think that Simon Coventry will continue to trust you?” he asked. 

“Well, you shot Billy Kimber, right? You did, you fucking shot him. That’s you. You fucking betrayed him, mate. So, it’ll be appropriate to do what I’m thinking in my head to you right now.”

“I can offer you a hundred good men all with weapons and a new relationship with the police.” 

“Intelligence,” Alfie says. “Intelligence is a very valuable thing, ain’t it, my friend? And usually…it comes far too fucking late,” he reaches for the drawer on his left, pointing the gun at Tommy. He cocks the gun and Tommy sits there, unblinking. “Let’s say I shot you already, right? In the fucking face. And then the bullet goes bone, mush, bone, cabinet over there. Which is a shame.”

Tommy just sits there, his face devoid of any emotion. If he gets killed now, he doesn't care. He had no fear of death anymore.

“It’s fucking simple, mate,”

Blood trails down from Tommy’s nose and Alfie talks about some fucking cabinet behind him. He throws Tommy his handkerchief, but he doesn’t take it. Fucking cabinets and fucking asking him if Tommy wanted to go to Timbuktu. 

“I’m sorry, go on,” Alfie concedes after telling Tommy that he always thought he’d have a big gold ring on his finger. It was only a small signet ring that Tommy was unconsciously playing with under the table. “Tell us your plan.” 

NEW YORK, 1921

“I just got off the phone with the secretary. We’re invited to some Charity Gala in London that we have to go to,” Simon says. Simon says…seems like all you do is follow what Simon says. “You can stay here if you don’t want to go.”

“When is this?”

“In a week mostly,” he shrugged. “It would be great to have you there. It’s not grand or anything; it’s just a few of my partners having an event for some charity or foundation.”

“Oh,” you nodded. You wanted to be away from Simon, but you also wanted to go back to London. How were the Shelbys? How was Beth? “Yeah…yeah, I’ll go,”

“Perfect,” he says. “Your dress? You need a new one. I’ll arrange a trip for you with my assistant to help you look for what to wear. You have to be the most beautiful woman there. For reference, I prefer blue on you.”

“Okay, Simon. I’ll make sure to get a blue dress for you.” He smiles at you before turning the page on his newspaper. You were glad that things were back to how they were before Tommy arrived in Birmingham. You didn’t blame him—Tommy—Simon’s actions were your own fault. Who in the right mind would let their wife love another man? It’s not like Simon knew of your love but the fact that you hid who Tommy was from him still remains. Letting go of Tommy that night was…painful.

You couldn’t erase how crest-fallen he looked; that you were the cause for his anguish. He didn’t follow you; you told him not to. You didn’t want him to see you sit outside the Garrison with your head buried in your hands. You didn’t want him to see you howl in pain because you’ll never see him again. You didn’t want him to see how it hurt you to say goodbye to him.

You didn’t want him to see you but someone else did. 

BIRMINGHAM, 1919

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

You looked up from your cowering position, eyelashes clumped. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I just…I just left your brother,” you whispered, trying to even out the sob that threatens to get out of your body. Arthur frowns, crouching down in front of you.  He tries to remove your shaky hands only to be met with your bruising jaw. 

“Did Tommy— “

“No,” you shook your head. “He didn’t hit me.”

He nods. Arthur didn’t know who Tommy was these days. He’s closed off, aloof, cold, detached…he sometimes wonders if a time comes and he’ll just snap. Arthur’s coping mechanism was violence. He knows that he’s good…his hands or only bloody but Tommy…Tommy wasn’t good anymore. He felt conflicted; everyone seems to put all the burden on you to make Tommy come back…to make him good again. He heard Polly talk about it; how Tommy needed you…but if Tommy was the reason why you’re miserable, is he still worth coming back to?

“I told Tommy to never see me again,” you managed through your cries. “I feel…I feel so lost, Arthur. I didn’t want to do that—to say that to him when-when he’s here now but I have no other choice…he’ll get-he’ll—“

“What about you?” he asked, tracing big circles on your back.

“What do you mean?” you asked, hiccuping. 

“I mean…you talk about Tommy and-and making sure that we’re all doing great but what about you, eh?” There was a small frown on his face, it was so different from the ‘Mad Dog’ that people know him as. 

“I don’t need that,” you chuckled. “I’m married to-to—“

“Simon Coventry, I know. But who do you have other than him? I know you love Tommy—don’t even fucking deny it. It’s why you’re doing all these things, I know but Tommy has us; he has Birmingham, and you don’t,” he adds, tearing your heart into pieces. The realisation of isolation dawns on you and it is wicked; consuming your heart with grief because you had no one. Not Tommy. Not anymore. “You make sure that all of us are being taken care of…but no one’s taking care of you. This whole thing-this thing with Tommy, is it worth it if you can’t even come home to Simon because you’re fucking crying in front of The Garrison?”

“I don’t know what to do,” you shrugged. “I…I just can’t seem to stay away from you lot,”

“Oh, love,” he sighs. He’ll never tell anyone that he saw you crying in front of the Garrison. “Why did you marry him?”

“Because…I wasn’t sure if Tommy’s coming back,” you whispered softly. You wiped away the tears from your face, trying to regain composure. “I sent…sent letters but he never wrote back. When Simon proposed the idea of marriage and Tommy wasn’t-wasn’t writing to me, I just took the chance. It was a chance to get out of that fucking hellhole. Tommy hates me for it,” you whimpered. “I know he hates me for it because I always told him that I’ll wait but-but he didn’t write back. I didn’t wait for him.”

Arthur frowns, confused. 

“He wrote to you but you never wrote to him,” he said.

“What?” 

“He did, love. Wrote to you multiple times and-and he’d always be the first one to show up when there were letters from home. Always-always looking for your letter,” he reminisces. Deep in your heart, you knew that he was telling you the truth because there was some sort of empty longing that crossed his eyes. “He waited for your letters every day for four years.”

“Arthur…”

“I’m telling you the truth,” he says, looking at you more intently. “None of us knew you got married,” he added. 

“Arthur—“ You were heaving, this changes things. Your resentment towards Tommy was all in vain if he sent you letters but where were those letters? Where could they be? Seeing you in distress, Arthur flings his arm around your shoulder. “I hated him for it…I hated him for four years…” you weeped. “Arthur, how could I haveever hated him?” You felt like cold water was splashed on your face. Of course, Tommy would have never done that to you. But who did?

“It’s not your fault, love. It’s not your fault.”

-

LONDON, 1921

It’s been long since you last stepped foot in London. A year wasn’t a long time but a year teetering on the edge waiting for the next blow was a year too long. It’s not that you were expecting anything, but now that you’re in London…so close to Tommy, you know that everything will be different again. He’ll be forceful under the pretext of loving you, some bullshitt about it being for the better…you knew it was wrong. You knew that it wasn’t right. You hated your predicament, but you hated yourself more for never seeming to have the ability to hate him. 

You never questioned his love for you; you were sure about that but sometimes…you found yourself questioning if he loved you too much. You’ve never experienced love like that before. Too much love. Growing up, you always had just enough. What you couldn’t find from your mum, you found in Johnny. What you couldn’t find in your customers, you found in the Shelbys. What you couldn’t find from yourself, you found in Tommy. What you couldn’t find in Tommy, you tried to look for in Simon. 

Everything was just right. To have too much was too much. 

“You’ve been quiet since we got here, darling,” Simon says, his hand on your knee as you rode the Bentley back home. 

“Sorry,” you smiled up at him. “I just miss London. It’s different to be back home,”

“I know,” he says. “But we’re here now. Where do you prefer?”

“What do you mean?” you asked, playing with his fingers. You thumbed the rings on his fingers, your wedding band the most important one. 

“I’m asking…where do you want to build our family?” he asked. “I know I said that I didn’t want to have children yet but we aren’t getting any younger. We’d make the most beautiful children. They’ll get your beauty and intelligence. They’ll inherit whatever they want to inherit from me,”

Your fingers stilled. 

“Hmm,” you pretended to think, trying to playt the cards right. “I’d want our children to grow up in London.”

“Yeah?” he asked, his head falling on your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you nod. “I want them to grow up here but also experience different things from travelling. Maybe we could find a summer house in Italy?” you asked. He kisses your neck and you sit there cold, unmoving. 

“Yes, let’s buy a house in Italy…” he murmurs, drunk on your scent. “How many houses do you want, hm? Let’s buy whatever my wife wants…whatever she needs, hm?” 

“You spoil me too much, Simon,” you force out a giggle. He doesn’t seem to mind. 

“Only for the best. You’re going to be the mother of my children,” 

-

You arrived home and you heaved a sigh. You went inside your bedroom, ready to unpack some of the items you bought from New York when your eyes landed on the frame of pressed flowers that Tommy gave you on your birthday. Simon has been telling you to get rid of it—it was tacky, he said but you told him that the flowers were from a day of picnicking with your mother when you were a child. You felt your lips twitch at the memory of Tommy giving it to you sheepishly. If only you could have him back now. If only he’s there with you. 

You breathed deeply, trying to purge yourself of the sadness that lingered. It’s been two years since you’ve last seen him. He’s staying true to his word, you knew. He’s protecting you and you’re protecting him. You hated the situation you were in. Why did you need protection in the first place? You were the wife of one of the wealthiest men in the whole world. You could have everything you’ve ever wanted handed to you on a silver platter. You could have everything but why do you feel so alone? Why do you feel like there’s still something missing? Why do you feel like, no matter what you did—no matter how you tried, Tommy’s still the one you love? You reached for the pendant but you remembered that it wasn’t there.

Was it selfish to wish for him to never marry someone else? To never love anyone? Was it selfish to wish for him to finally love you the way you do all these years? 

Or was he only protecting you because he’s bound by his words and not the feeling of unbridled love that he has for you? 

Polly told you that you could have everything…you felt like you had nothing. 

You had more when you were working as a prostitute. 

Now, you just have Simon. 

-

Simon has been feeling your detachment ever since you arrived in New York. He knew that it was his fault; laying his hand on you like that but could anyone really blame him? You were his love; the object of all of his desires. You needed protecting, you needed safety and you needed him to give you the world. 

He was in his office, sorting through the files that he left for a year. He picks up the telephone and dials a number. He wanted you all for himself. He was hungry for you; hunger for your affection, your flesh, your gaze. He’ll do everything to preserve the attention that you were giving him but now that he feels you slipping away, he’s becoming more desperate. It was all Tommy Shelby’s fault and he needed to be dealt with. 

“I sent you the money for the murder of Johnny Wilson,” he speaks into the telephone. “I need you to do gsomething for me again.”

“Hm?” 

Simon speaks into the phone authoritatively. Details of his plan were spoken. He was meticulous and specific with what he wanted.

“Even…even the children?”

“Even the children,” he confirms. He senses the hesitation of the speaker from the other side. “If you do it in less than a year, I’ll add another twenty thousand to the total. I’ll make sure you never have to work a day in your fucking life. Call me when it’s done,” he spits, ending the call and looking at a photo of you on the table; not knowing that on the other side, an intruder was hearing everything that just transpired. 

Who was Simon Coventry? 

-

Cameras flashed as you enter the venue for the charity ball. You were dressed in a blue gown like promised. Simon’s hand was on your waist, smiling tightly at the cameras. He always hated the attention of the media and in your own way, you wanted to calm him down. You touch the hand that was on your waist to remind him that you were there. You smile at him softly and he smiles back. If only he was as soft as he presents himself to be in the media. 

He leads you into the venue without so much a glance offered to the media and you follow. 

“Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” you smiled up at him. 

“You can go ahead and sit,” he says. “I’ll just be greeting some of my partners.” You nod and you allow him to kiss you on the cheek before you part ways. You didn’t know why—but you felt like something was wrong. Something was going to happen tonight. 

A waiter comes to your table and offers you a drink. He was young—probably way younger than you.

“Champagne, please,” you told him. “You’re too young to be working,”

“I-I’m nineteen, ma’am,” he tells you while pouring you a glass.

“Ah, maybe not that young then,” you replied. “Is this your first day?”

“Yes, ma’am. My first day on the job,” he says. “I’m quite nervous to be surrounded by the rich but I need the money…”

“I’m sure you’ll do well,” you replied, offering him a friendly smile. “Here,” you said, opening your clutch and handing him a few pounds. “Think of it as a tip for serving me champagne and for talking to me.”

“This is too much, ma’am,” he refuses but you shove the notes in his hand. You remembered how tips from the brothel helped you so much; it allowed you to buy necessities. It allowed you to get Tommy the signet ring that you got him for his 21st birthday. You were busy talking to the young man that you didn’t notice your husband walking towards you with a scowl on his face. 

“Hey, you,” he sarcastically greets the server, snapping his fingers rudely.. “Refill my glass,”

“Simon— “

“Thank you,” he says, disregarding you completely. The boy turns to leave but Simon stops him. “No, stay. I need you to refill my fucking drink every time.”

“Simon—“

“You think my wife is beautiful?” he asked. The boy looks at you and you attempt to shake your head; telling him to walk away before anything else happens. “I’d be offended if you told me that she wasn’t.”

“Simon— “

He takes a swig of his drink before extending the same empty glass.

“What’s your name?” Simon asked, watching the boy shakily refill the champagne flute. “Don’t spill anything on my wife,” he threatens darkly. The boy swallows. 

“William, sir,”

“William…do you think my wife is pretty?” he asked again. You look around the room to see that everyone was trying to discreetly watch the commotion. You tried standing up but Simon pushed you back down.

“Y-yes, sir,”

Simon nods, pleased with William’s answer.

“You may go, William,” you calmly told him.

“You may not,” Simon says. William’s feet were stuck planted on the ground. He was shaking and you tried to plead with Simon, but he wasn’t looking at you. “Actually, let’s take this outside, hm? Everyone seems to be enjoying this fucking commotion. Come with us, Y/N,”

“Simon, please,”

“Come on, darling,” he says, pulling you away forcefully from the table. You stumble after him, heart racing wildly inside your chest. Fuck. Your shoulders were shaking as you tried to catch your breath. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The three of you arrive in the wine cellar, an empty room where you were sure no one heard you. 

“Stand there,” Simon says. “Y/N, stay beside me.”

William stands in front of Simon, his steps hesitant.

“I’ll give you a deal, William. Do you want a thousand pounds? You’ll never find that anywhere else,” he taunts. You shake your head discreetly, but William wasn't looking at you. He was pale, his breathing shallow. “I’ll give it to you right now. Cash,”

“Y-yes, sir,” he replies. 

“Say please,”

“Simon—“

“Shut up! Shut up!”

“Please, sir,”

“Kneel and beg.”

“Simon, it’s not right! Please, let’s just go home,” 

William kneels in front of Simon, and you could see the sinister smile that played on his lips. He fishes for something in his pocket—a gun. 

“S-sir,”

“You want a thousand pounds, yeah?” he asked, waving his gun in the air. 

“Simon—“

“I don’t want another word from you, Y/N. Or else, I swear, I will fucking shoot you.” he threatens. You were trying your best to stop being so hysterical but you couldn’t. You were sobbing, hands shaking when Simon pointed the gun at the poor boy. You tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to come out; tried to wonder what a monster Simon becamez

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” you choked, crouching down on the floor to comfort yourself. “I’m sorry, William…”

BANG! BANG!

The sounds of a gun going off rings inside the cellar and you flinch. Simon has just shot William twice; one on his stomach, one on his shoulder. It was sloppy; you knew he was aiming for his heart. William lays on the floor with a pool of his own blood, crying in pain. Simon just walks towards him, throwing him a thousand pounds and then spitting on William’s face. 

“Don’t ever look at my fucking wife again. Fix yourself Y/N. We’re going back to the party,”

“Simon, he’s just a kid! Get him to a fucking hospital!”

“I said, fix yourself!” he roared, and you closed your mouth. You stepped away from him, afraid of what he might do.

“Now you know what happens if you ever try to leave me. It’s time for me to show you what I will do to protect you, okay darling?” he asked, crouching down to your level and pulling you in an embrace. He kisses your temples to comfort you for the damage that he has done. “Don’t ever leave me,”

The two of you left William’s body and went back to the party. You were shaken, aloof the whole night. You couldn’t believe what just transpired. Simon’s cruelty—his disregard for himan life for a thousand pounds… You were trying to catch the attention of other servers but were ignored. You just wanted someone to check on William, that poor boy. You and your husband continued to sit beside each other acting like the happy couple, never noticing the pair of blue eyes that seemed to pierce straight into you. 

-

Simon killed Johnny. 

Your hands shook as you read the handwriting on the crumpled piece of paper over and over again. You found it in the clutch that you left in your seat when Simon shot William in the cellar. Turning the paper over, you sobbed; unable to control the emotions that begged for your attention—anger, fear, disgust, sadness…everything seemed to crash into you. You run towards the bathroom to vomit on the toilet. Your whole body tembled, and you cradled yourself on the bathroom floor. You didn’t care if the dress was wet and crumpled…how…why…what did you do in your past life to be punished like this? 

-

You haven’t been the same since you received that note. Simon found you in bed; unmoving and unresponsive. The shock must have been too much to bear but he had to show you—he had to put on a display of what he would do to keep you safe and away from the Shelbys. He didn’t regret anything except for the way your eyes glistened when he threatened to shoot you. That was a sin he’d pay for but for now, maybe silence is enough to soothe you. 

He lays in bed, an inch too far away from you and he couldn’t bear it. He could hear the way your sobs shook the bed; how hard you tried to keep yourself from being too loud. 

“Darling…” he coos but you only cried harder. 

“Not tonight, Simon. Please,” you whispered, desperation kicking in. “I’m…I’m— “

He nods to himself, a wounded puppy. 

“I have…I have to leave you tomorrow to meet with Alfie Solomons,” he tells you. “Use that time to go out or, or get out of this place. I wouldn’t mind if you went alone as long as you have at least one of Alfie’s men to guard you,” 

You wanted to laugh. He was holding your liberty as hostage; taunting you with it whenever he did something wrong but in reality, no matter how much freedom he grants you, his hand will always be on your neck to keep you from leaving. 

“I’m sorry for threatening you,”

“Not tonight, Simon,”

He nods but it actually angers him for you to refuse him so easily. He has given you anything and everything. Hell, he bought you that summer house in Italy already, but you still couldn’t give him the satisfaction of holding you for the night. Did Tommy Shelby hold you while you slept? Would you have let him?

-

You felt Simon kiss your head before he left. You couldn’t sleep last night, thinking of all the ways to tell Tommy or at least anyone about Simon’s plan. You weren’t sure if he was sincere when he told you that you can go out today but you were taking that chance. You knew that Arthur wanted you to protect yourself but maybe this could be the last time. Just this once and then, never again. 

You dressed up, the brown coat covering your figure and giving you shelter from the cruelty of the world that Simon built for the two of you. You ordered one of the servants to fetch you one of Solomons’ men that could drive. You needed to talk to Polly or anyone from Birmingham and the only way to do it was through the telephone. It was too dangerous at home; Simon had eyes and ears everywhere. 

“Mrs. Coventry,” the driver greets you, opening the door to let you in. You settle yourself inside, opening your clutch for a deal he couldn’t resist. 

“Other than driving me around, what else do you do?” you asked him. 

“I’m told to obey all of your orders as long as it complies with what Mr. Coventry asks us,” he replied. “Where are we going today, ma’am?” 

“Just…go to the city,” you replied. “Do you think…do you think you could do something for me? I’ll make sure you’re paid and that you won’t be blamed for anything that comes out of it,”

“Ma’am, I am under strict orders of Mr. Solomons to— “

“Five hundred pounds,” you interrupted, you needed him to understand the urgency of the situation. Your nail beds have bled through the night and were red and swollen. “I can give it to you in cash right now. Just tell me if you know where I could reach the Shelbys the fastest,” You sounded like Simon like now, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care anymore. 

“There…there are Blinders right outside a flat in London. Ada Shelby is rumoured to live there,” he says lowly. 

“Take me there. Make sure you’re discreet and make sure we’re not being followed. I’ll make sure that you’re safe,” you promised him. “Just…just go there as fast as you can,” 

It’s hard to be discreet when you’re driving one of the most expensive cars in the world, but he drove you to Ada Shelby’s house anyway. Five hundred pounds was more than what he could ever make working under Alfie Solomons. 

A storm was brewing, and you were at the centre of all of it. 

-

Ada lives in a building in the centre of London. On the way, your driver told you about how Tommy bought the whole building for her. You smiled softly; Tommy was finally realising his dreams, but he was realising them without you. 

You exited the car, covered from head to toe. You made sure no one recognized you; the lush, brown coat and your hat covered your face entirely. You told him to leave you alone and come back in three hours. He zoomed off, afraid to be seen by one of Simon’s men.

Your breathing was uneven and the steps that you took were shaky. You blamed it on the uneven ground. Knocking on the door, you prayed silently for Ada to hear you. The more time you spend outside, the higher the risk of being recognized. You waited with bated breath, but the door soon opened, revealing none other than the man who occupied every corner of your brain. You rushed inside before he could even speak and he let you, locking the door behind him as he followed you into the drawing room. He stands in front of you, removing the coat from your shoulders gently. You were shivering but not from the cold. How were you more beautiful than the last time he saw you?

“Tommy, Tommy, Tommy,” you said over and over again, like you were making sure that he was there. Your resolve was dissolving, and you were near hysterical. He crouches down in front of you to take a good look for your face. He missed it; he missed your touch…he missed you. His fingers on your waist seem to snap you back to reality and you take a deep breath. “Simon killed Johnny. He’s going to—he’s going to kill all of you,”

-

A/N: Thank you very much for making this far! We’re getting closer to the end of this series but please don’t forget to reblog and comment if you liked it / loved it / hated this chapter, etc! I love discussing and replying to your comments and reblogs.

ALSO: A quick character study on Simon is that he is filty rich. The value of money is immaterial to him. In his eyes, money is a way for him to get anything and everything he wants. It’s what makes people kill and die for each other. If it benefits him, then he’d gladly throw money at whatever it is about.

TAGLIST:  @shelbydelrey @runnning-outof-time @duckybird101 @thenattitude @swordofawriter @litteltourtius​ @trixie23​ @everythingelseisextra​ @majesticcmey @liveat1am @dumb-wh @denabp16 @yvonna-chan @goldensunflowe-r @therosabel @hunnibearrr @dazecrea @daddyslittleattentionwhore @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @dang-shawty-okay @dasia21 @tsenthusiast1920 @aces-tattooartist @panda-luminary @ttaechi @spencerrxids @i-heart-food @fudge13 @affabletimelady @heartcereql @ce1iat @notalxx @1800-queen-trash @sweetwanderlust05 @globetrotter28 @thebestandworstdayofjune @reggxe-a @verreuckteli @vampireluck @zoexme

(I’ll be removing people from my taglist on the next chapter if conditions aren’t met! I’m sorry but that’s the rule….)