Eye Of The Storm

Eye of the Storm

SERIES SUMMARY: You always knew Tommy as the cheerful boy who took care of you. He always knew you as the smart girl that he visited by the docks. The daughter of a prostitute, the son of a deadbeat father; a soldier who protected his country; a whore who protected him; a gangster who controlled Brimingham; and now, a wife. War changes people, you just didn't realize that war could change you both. (angst, depictions of abuse, poverty, prostitution, canon-typical themes, death, war, time jumps)

Chapter summary: Everything unfolds and you were the eye of the storm.

Eye Of The Storm

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3

PROTECTION SERIES TAGLIST | PROTECTION MASTERLIST navigation

LONDON, 1919

Something clicked in Simon after Johnny’s funeral. He restricted you more than he did before. He was more forceful sometimes. You knew, because you braced yourself to face it everyday. 1…2…3…4…5… You had to count to ten every time he got mad. How many seconds will it take for him to lay his hand on you again? 

“From now on, you can’t come to the garden without asking for my permission.” When he saw your mouth open to protest, he added, “Don’t push it. You’re lucky I’m still allowing you to go.”

“O-of course, Simon,” you tearfully obliged. “I— “

“Tell me you love me.”

“I love you.”

“Good. Now, come here, darling. You know I can’t stand when you’re mad at me,” he coos and you oblige, finding yourself perched on his lap. You hated this; hated how he was treating you. Hated how his arms immediately wrapped around you. “I know that you’re mad at me,” he starts. “Especially with everything that’s been going on but I’m only worried that Tommy Shelby’s gonna take you.” 

“He’s not…you don’t have to worry about him, Simon,” you whispered. “I didn’t know that he was alive,”

“I know, I know,” he said. “But do you know where that puts me? You’ve been his friend since before the war and I’m not anything like him. It’s not you I don’t trust…it’s him. He’s a Birmingham rat with no respect. I want you safe. I want you here. If you behave yourself, then I’d slowly give you everything back. Hm?” he asked. 

You nodded, the small smile on your face could never convey how cold you felt.

Simon knows that what he’s doing is wrong but what else can be done? Tommy Shelby was back and there was no way he’s giving you up to some Birmingham gangster. It was just impossible to do so. It would hurt him and his ego. He’s never been declined of something before as an only child of two rich parents. If he’d be declined of your love and affection, he will burn the world and everything in it. You were the only thing he truly wanted and if it came to you, he’d do everything to never let you out of his grasp.

When he first seeked you out, you were eighteen. He was already enamoured, watching you from afar. You laughed with the girls and stayed with Big Johnny most nights. You were innocent, a fragile little thing that he wanted—needed. You listened to him and even treated him as a friend. It was different from how the girls treated him there. The girls would ask for gifts, and he bought them but you…you dressed up immediately after every visit. You’d smile at him before leaving, going to Johnny for your nightly lessons. He sometimes went to visit you just to talk. You were the most intelligent girl there and he always looked forward to seeing you again. If you slip away from his grasp, he wouldn’t know what to do. It’s why he bought you that house; why he gave you jewellery even before you were married. He wanted you to be reminded of him everywhere you went. It was dangerous dealing with your past—he knew that; but danger was something he’d walk on if it came to having you.  

“Darling, I was thinking…it’s been a while since we last went on a holiday. Do you want to go somewhere?” he asked. Reports of Tommy Shelby in London reached him. There was no way he’d let you meet again.

“Hm,” you hummed. “Can we go to New York?” you asked. “I’ve been wanting to go to Manhattan this time of year.”

“Yeah?” he asked. The farther you were from Tommy, the better. “Then, I’ll have things arranged and I’ll let you know, okay?” he kisses your temple as he passes by.

“Of course,” you replied. Your face seems so unreadable these days, but it always was. Can Tommy Shelby decipher the emotions written on your face or does he have to guess too? He knows that you were still keeping things away from him…knows that you’re not being fully honest with how you feel and who Tommy Shelby was in your life. He was fine not knowing as long as you were his. 

Irrevocably and utterly his. 

BIRMINGHAM, 1910

“You know, Tommy,” you said. “When I was young, my mother told me that there were other lands outside England…outside Birmingham that isn’t London,” you said. Your savings could take you to London, but you could never seem to find the time. Simon has been visiting you more and the owner of the brothel ordered you to always be available for him because of how much he spends on you.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I want to go to London at least once. Before I die, I want to go to London,” 

“I’ll take you to London,” he says, voice gruff from the cigarettes. “I’ll take you to London and I’ll take you to the whole world,” 

“You will?” you asked. You were always told by your customers that they’ll take you here and there…but with Tommy, you knew that what he was saying was true. He never liked to break his promises. “If you’ll take me there, I better save up money because there’s no way I’m letting you spend a fortune on me.”

“I’ll take you to New York, Paris, and all the major cities. We’ll see them for the first time together,” he promises.

“Together?”

“We’ll always be together, won’t we?”

“Of course, we will. Together,”

BIRMINGHAM, 1919

Grace has long been gone since Polly revealed the truth to her. Was it mad that Tommy didn’t feel any morsel of anything? He didn’t care if she betrayed him; didn’t care if she loved him…if anything, she was better off gone. It just…unsettled him. Was that the right word? He never liked Grace, but she was a good enough replacement for you in the meantime. She was good enough, but she wasn’t you, no matter how much Tommy forced himself to convince everyone that she was good enough. 

He didn’t even think of lighting a cigarette for her departure. These guns, Billy Kimber…his ambitions of wealth, power, and control were too consuming for him to think of anything else. Too consuming that he knew that all ambition all boiled down to you, that mansion, horses, and a garden. He looks at the toy horses you’ve given him as children. It’s been showing signs of wear; time has the power to tear the edges of something precious so easily. Tommy liked thumbing the wooden toy to keep him afloat sometimes. It reminded him of peace, of home, of you. 

“Tommy,” Polly called. Her conscience has been nagging her, steaming out of pores ever since Tommy showed her how much you meant to him. It was never easy remembering Tommy on the floor, so weak; so defeated. It was never easy to remember that she was the reason why Tommy was miserable. She took you away from him. She decided then, that she’d do everything in her power to help her grieving nephew. If your presence could show her any semblance of Tommy before the war, she’d take it. Maybe she should feel bad for burdening you with that weight on your shoulders, but she knew that you did it so naturally…so genuinely. She relieves herself of thinking that you and Tommy needed each other; so much so that the world she knows now will simply reintegrate. You were the glue that binds Tommy; the melted gold that holds the pieces back together. Without you, Tommy was broken—alone. She’d never want that for him. She’ll never want to see him like that again. 

NEW YORK, 1920

When you told Simon that you wanted to go to New York, you didn’t know that you’ll be staying there indefinitely. You just said that to appease him, really. He made sure that all of your belongings were kept and taken to America. What didn’t fit, you’d buy. He was more lenient here. He’d let you go, and he was back to the Simon you’ve always known. 

“You’ve been married for years,” his attorney’s wife recalls. “Where are the little Simons running around?”

“Oh-“ you looked at Simon to help you out, but he was too engrossed in his conversation with the lawyer to notice. “We’re still enjoying our marriage. Just the two of us,” you lied. “We like to travel and we’ll feel bad if we just…leave the child back home,”

“But you’re in New York,” she says, like it mattered. “Surely, you’ve been trying?”

“No, not really. Simon wants our child to be born in England.” you said.

“You’re not getting any younger, dear,” she says. “When I was around your age, I already had two children. I say, it’s better to start a family early,”

That night, when you were removing your jewellery, Simon laid his hand on your shoulder. He’s gentle in New York. Your shoulder used to feel heavy in London. He started kissing your neck and you allowed him.

“An heir wouldn’t be so bad,” he rasps, nibbling on your ear. “Maybe soon…I want to have you all to myself first. Don’t want you to love me any less because of a child,”

“I wouldn’t love you any less, Simon.” you smiled at him. You didn’t want to bear his heir but if he was convinced that you’ll love him less because of a child, you’ll string him along. 

“I know but then, you’d dote on him and be all…” he drones on, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“It’s alright, I don’t need anyone else. It can just be the two of us forever.”

BIRMINGHAM, 1911

“Tommy!” you called, walking through the muddy soil of the stables that he worked in. He took care of horses sometimes, to earn some extra money. It paid well and he was surrounded with the calmness of the horses that he took care of. He vowed to have his own stables filled with his own horses in the future. Maybe it was pathetic but Tommy was envious seeing things that he wanted being taken advantage of. He knew how to take care of horses but he never owned them. His dreams were so close yet so far. He was brushing the coat of one of the horses when you came barrelling towards him.

“Tommy!” you called again. “I’m free now. Let’s go!”

“Wait, wait,” he laughs, making sure that the horse—he secretly named him Hayday because the horse had a coat in the color of hay. He only told you that though. “Alright, Hayday. Let’s get you back to your stable,” he tells the horse, petting its snout. You smiled at his softness, following them quietly. You let Tommy do his job maintaining Hayday for a while, smiling widely when you saw him coming towards you. He was rubbing his face with water to get rid of today. 

“I smell.” he frowned, looking through his ragged satchel for a towel or an extra shirt. “Let me just…” he says, taking the shirt from the bag and then giving the bag to you. He turns around to remove his dirty shirt, tucking it between his legs and then changing into the cleaner shirt. You watched the way his back muscles flexed—working as a mechanic and carrying whatever he does was paying off. The clean shirt clung onto his figure nicely…you looked away before he could catch you staring though. “Thanks for keeping my bag,” he says, taking his bag from you. He hangs it on his shoulder and then links his arm with yours. You couldn't see the smirk that played in his lips.  “Where are we going again?”

“Remember, I told you to come with me to the market to buy something?” you asked him. He nods, letting you lead the way to the market. “Well, I’m free now. Let’s go.”

Tommy tells you all about his day on the way to the market, not knowing anything of what you had planned. It was his birthday last month, but you weren’t able to save up enough money for his gift because of a repair in your home. You drag him all the way to where the more expensive shops were, Tommy’s brows furrowing. 

“Here,” you said, stopping at a jeweller. You take him inside and he lets you. 

“What are we doing here— “

“Look!” you said, pointing at the gold signet ring on display. You leave Tommy to go get the clerk. You’ve been paying for the ring for a year now; little by little until you were able to fully pay for it. It was a gift for Tommy’s 21st birthday. You were talking to the clerk for a pick up when Tommy walks to you. The clerk gives you the red velvet box and you turn to Tommy, a wide smile on your face. 

“Who is this for?” he asked, frowning. Was this for that Rich Bastard? “You know I can’t afford that,”

“But I can. It’s for you,” you told him softly. “Happy birthday. I’m sorry it was a month late,” You open the box for him. “Go on, wear it.”

“Y/N…love,”

“You have to accept it. I saved up for that, you know?” He takes the ring from the box and slides it on his ring finger. 

“Thank you…” he rasps, his throat closing up. “For this.”

“It’s okay, Tommy. I’d give you the world if I can but for now, a ring would suffice, don’t you think?”

-

You both settled at an empty grassland by the docks afterwards. Tommy couldn’t stop looking at his ring. 

“I still can’t believe you got me a ring,” he says, looking at you. “It must have cost you a fortune, eh?”

“It’s okay, Tommy. I want to give you something more for being a great friend to me.” you tell him. He nods at your words. Friends. Is that all he’ll ever be? 

“I got you this,” he says, showing you the simple, lone daisy that he picked on the way here. “I…” he says, tucking it behind your ear. I wish I could give you more. You stopped breathing, the proximity was too much to bear. You could see the blueness of his eyes, the freckles that kissed his nose and his cheeks. You could see every eyelash. It seemed like he didn’t mind it either. He was looking at you intently, trying to memorize every detail of your face. A face that could start a war, he was almost positive of it. You both unintentionally lean into each other, Tommy’s eyes flicking down to your lips, breath hitching. 

“Tommy!” you jump away from each other, looking away. Fuck. He sighs in annoyance, looking at one of the guys he knew from work. 

Maybe next time.

CAMDEN TOWN, 1921

“Put him down, Ollie!” he shouts. “Put him down, mate. He is only little.”

“You on your own?” He asked Tommy.

Tommy glances around. 

“Seems so,”

Alfie Solomons always liked to play the best games. He had wide shoulders that matched how dominant and domineering he seemed. He was unpredictable, abandoning all sorts of things just to make sure that in the end, he gets the best deal. Tommy wondered what kind of deal he could put up with the Jewish gangster to double cross Simon Coventry, his biggest payer.

“Well, you’re a brave lad, ain't you?” he asked. “Want to take a look around my bakery? We bake all sorts here, mate, yeah. Did you know we bake over 10,000 loaves a week? Can you believe it?” 

Tommy listens to him drone on about bread. He asked for brown bread and was served one. 

“Come look,” Alfie says, leading Tommy to his office. 

-

“Well, I’ve heard very bad, bad things about you Birmingham people. You’re gipsies, right? So what, do you live in a fucking tent or a caravan?”

“I came here to discuss business with you, Mr. Solomons.” Tommy coughs. 

“Well, rum is for fun and fucking. So, whiskey, now that is for business,” he says, putting his bottle of whiskey for Tommy Shelby.

“Let’s talk first, eh?” 

“Suit yourself,” Alfie shrugs. 

“Heard you were dealing with billionaires,” Tommy brought up, trying to gauge the situation. He was sitting right in front of Alfie’s desk, noticing the latter reach for the drawer in his right. 

“You heard correct. What about it?” he asked nonchalantly. 

“Simon Coventry.” Tommy said. “He pays well?”

“Very well, mate.” Alfie replied, sipping on his whiskey. “Seeked for our protection services, invested…paid to kill for him. Has a wife, you know? Have you heard about her?”

“No,” Tommy shrugged, his voice monotonous, eyes bored. Alfie licks his lips. 

“Never met her…lovely wife, they say, yeah. A very lovely wife…but this lovely wife of his needs to be guarded. Don’t believe in all that…I don’t do that to women, but this lovely wife of his is…huh, well, told me to kill anyone who comes near her, yeah? And guess what, mate? You’ve a big fucking bounty written on your fucking forehead,” Alfie revealed. “Now,” he pauses, leaning on the table. “What is this business you’re looking for?”

“We join forces,”

“Fuck off. No! Categorical. Fucking ridiculous,” he leans back, scoffing. Tommy leans forward, clasping his hand over the table. 

“Mr. Solomons. Your distillery provides one-tenth of your income. Protection is another ten percent and the rest; you make from the tracks.”

Alfie fumbles with the handle but Tommy speaks.

“I know you keep a gun in the drawer beside the whiskey. I know you offer a deal or death. I know what I’m saying makes you angry but I’m offering you a deal. People don’t trust your protection anymore. What makes you think that Simon Coventry will continue to trust you?” he asked. 

“Well, you shot Billy Kimber, right? You did, you fucking shot him. That’s you. You fucking betrayed him, mate. So, it’ll be appropriate to do what I’m thinking in my head to you right now.”

“I can offer you a hundred good men all with weapons and a new relationship with the police.” 

“Intelligence,” Alfie says. “Intelligence is a very valuable thing, ain’t it, my friend? And usually…it comes far too fucking late,” he reaches for the drawer on his left, pointing the gun at Tommy. He cocks the gun and Tommy sits there, unblinking. “Let’s say I shot you already, right? In the fucking face. And then the bullet goes bone, mush, bone, cabinet over there. Which is a shame.”

Tommy just sits there, his face devoid of any emotion. If he gets killed now, he doesn't care. He had no fear of death anymore.

“It’s fucking simple, mate,”

Blood trails down from Tommy’s nose and Alfie talks about some fucking cabinet behind him. He throws Tommy his handkerchief, but he doesn’t take it. Fucking cabinets and fucking asking him if Tommy wanted to go to Timbuktu. 

“I’m sorry, go on,” Alfie concedes after telling Tommy that he always thought he’d have a big gold ring on his finger. It was only a small signet ring that Tommy was unconsciously playing with under the table. “Tell us your plan.” 

NEW YORK, 1921

“I just got off the phone with the secretary. We’re invited to some Charity Gala in London that we have to go to,” Simon says. Simon says…seems like all you do is follow what Simon says. “You can stay here if you don’t want to go.”

“When is this?”

“In a week mostly,” he shrugged. “It would be great to have you there. It’s not grand or anything; it’s just a few of my partners having an event for some charity or foundation.”

“Oh,” you nodded. You wanted to be away from Simon, but you also wanted to go back to London. How were the Shelbys? How was Beth? “Yeah…yeah, I’ll go,”

“Perfect,” he says. “Your dress? You need a new one. I’ll arrange a trip for you with my assistant to help you look for what to wear. You have to be the most beautiful woman there. For reference, I prefer blue on you.”

“Okay, Simon. I’ll make sure to get a blue dress for you.” He smiles at you before turning the page on his newspaper. You were glad that things were back to how they were before Tommy arrived in Birmingham. You didn’t blame him—Tommy—Simon’s actions were your own fault. Who in the right mind would let their wife love another man? It’s not like Simon knew of your love but the fact that you hid who Tommy was from him still remains. Letting go of Tommy that night was…painful.

You couldn’t erase how crest-fallen he looked; that you were the cause for his anguish. He didn’t follow you; you told him not to. You didn’t want him to see you sit outside the Garrison with your head buried in your hands. You didn’t want him to see you howl in pain because you’ll never see him again. You didn’t want him to see how it hurt you to say goodbye to him.

You didn’t want him to see you but someone else did. 

BIRMINGHAM, 1919

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

You looked up from your cowering position, eyelashes clumped. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I just…I just left your brother,” you whispered, trying to even out the sob that threatens to get out of your body. Arthur frowns, crouching down in front of you.  He tries to remove your shaky hands only to be met with your bruising jaw. 

“Did Tommy— “

“No,” you shook your head. “He didn’t hit me.”

He nods. Arthur didn’t know who Tommy was these days. He’s closed off, aloof, cold, detached…he sometimes wonders if a time comes and he’ll just snap. Arthur’s coping mechanism was violence. He knows that he’s good…his hands or only bloody but Tommy…Tommy wasn’t good anymore. He felt conflicted; everyone seems to put all the burden on you to make Tommy come back…to make him good again. He heard Polly talk about it; how Tommy needed you…but if Tommy was the reason why you’re miserable, is he still worth coming back to?

“I told Tommy to never see me again,” you managed through your cries. “I feel…I feel so lost, Arthur. I didn’t want to do that—to say that to him when-when he’s here now but I have no other choice…he’ll get-he’ll—“

“What about you?” he asked, tracing big circles on your back.

“What do you mean?” you asked, hiccuping. 

“I mean…you talk about Tommy and-and making sure that we’re all doing great but what about you, eh?” There was a small frown on his face, it was so different from the ‘Mad Dog’ that people know him as. 

“I don’t need that,” you chuckled. “I’m married to-to—“

“Simon Coventry, I know. But who do you have other than him? I know you love Tommy—don’t even fucking deny it. It’s why you’re doing all these things, I know but Tommy has us; he has Birmingham, and you don’t,” he adds, tearing your heart into pieces. The realisation of isolation dawns on you and it is wicked; consuming your heart with grief because you had no one. Not Tommy. Not anymore. “You make sure that all of us are being taken care of…but no one’s taking care of you. This whole thing-this thing with Tommy, is it worth it if you can’t even come home to Simon because you’re fucking crying in front of The Garrison?”

“I don’t know what to do,” you shrugged. “I…I just can’t seem to stay away from you lot,”

“Oh, love,” he sighs. He’ll never tell anyone that he saw you crying in front of the Garrison. “Why did you marry him?”

“Because…I wasn’t sure if Tommy’s coming back,” you whispered softly. You wiped away the tears from your face, trying to regain composure. “I sent…sent letters but he never wrote back. When Simon proposed the idea of marriage and Tommy wasn’t-wasn’t writing to me, I just took the chance. It was a chance to get out of that fucking hellhole. Tommy hates me for it,” you whimpered. “I know he hates me for it because I always told him that I’ll wait but-but he didn’t write back. I didn’t wait for him.”

Arthur frowns, confused. 

“He wrote to you but you never wrote to him,” he said.

“What?” 

“He did, love. Wrote to you multiple times and-and he’d always be the first one to show up when there were letters from home. Always-always looking for your letter,” he reminisces. Deep in your heart, you knew that he was telling you the truth because there was some sort of empty longing that crossed his eyes. “He waited for your letters every day for four years.”

“Arthur…”

“I’m telling you the truth,” he says, looking at you more intently. “None of us knew you got married,” he added. 

“Arthur—“ You were heaving, this changes things. Your resentment towards Tommy was all in vain if he sent you letters but where were those letters? Where could they be? Seeing you in distress, Arthur flings his arm around your shoulder. “I hated him for it…I hated him for four years…” you weeped. “Arthur, how could I haveever hated him?” You felt like cold water was splashed on your face. Of course, Tommy would have never done that to you. But who did?

“It’s not your fault, love. It’s not your fault.”

-

LONDON, 1921

It’s been long since you last stepped foot in London. A year wasn’t a long time but a year teetering on the edge waiting for the next blow was a year too long. It’s not that you were expecting anything, but now that you’re in London…so close to Tommy, you know that everything will be different again. He’ll be forceful under the pretext of loving you, some bullshitt about it being for the better…you knew it was wrong. You knew that it wasn’t right. You hated your predicament, but you hated yourself more for never seeming to have the ability to hate him. 

You never questioned his love for you; you were sure about that but sometimes…you found yourself questioning if he loved you too much. You’ve never experienced love like that before. Too much love. Growing up, you always had just enough. What you couldn’t find from your mum, you found in Johnny. What you couldn’t find in your customers, you found in the Shelbys. What you couldn’t find from yourself, you found in Tommy. What you couldn’t find in Tommy, you tried to look for in Simon. 

Everything was just right. To have too much was too much. 

“You’ve been quiet since we got here, darling,” Simon says, his hand on your knee as you rode the Bentley back home. 

“Sorry,” you smiled up at him. “I just miss London. It’s different to be back home,”

“I know,” he says. “But we’re here now. Where do you prefer?”

“What do you mean?” you asked, playing with his fingers. You thumbed the rings on his fingers, your wedding band the most important one. 

“I’m asking…where do you want to build our family?” he asked. “I know I said that I didn’t want to have children yet but we aren’t getting any younger. We’d make the most beautiful children. They’ll get your beauty and intelligence. They’ll inherit whatever they want to inherit from me,”

Your fingers stilled. 

“Hmm,” you pretended to think, trying to playt the cards right. “I’d want our children to grow up in London.”

“Yeah?” he asked, his head falling on your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you nod. “I want them to grow up here but also experience different things from travelling. Maybe we could find a summer house in Italy?” you asked. He kisses your neck and you sit there cold, unmoving. 

“Yes, let’s buy a house in Italy…” he murmurs, drunk on your scent. “How many houses do you want, hm? Let’s buy whatever my wife wants…whatever she needs, hm?” 

“You spoil me too much, Simon,” you force out a giggle. He doesn’t seem to mind. 

“Only for the best. You’re going to be the mother of my children,” 

-

You arrived home and you heaved a sigh. You went inside your bedroom, ready to unpack some of the items you bought from New York when your eyes landed on the frame of pressed flowers that Tommy gave you on your birthday. Simon has been telling you to get rid of it—it was tacky, he said but you told him that the flowers were from a day of picnicking with your mother when you were a child. You felt your lips twitch at the memory of Tommy giving it to you sheepishly. If only you could have him back now. If only he’s there with you. 

You breathed deeply, trying to purge yourself of the sadness that lingered. It’s been two years since you’ve last seen him. He’s staying true to his word, you knew. He’s protecting you and you’re protecting him. You hated the situation you were in. Why did you need protection in the first place? You were the wife of one of the wealthiest men in the whole world. You could have everything you’ve ever wanted handed to you on a silver platter. You could have everything but why do you feel so alone? Why do you feel like there’s still something missing? Why do you feel like, no matter what you did—no matter how you tried, Tommy’s still the one you love? You reached for the pendant but you remembered that it wasn’t there.

Was it selfish to wish for him to never marry someone else? To never love anyone? Was it selfish to wish for him to finally love you the way you do all these years? 

Or was he only protecting you because he’s bound by his words and not the feeling of unbridled love that he has for you? 

Polly told you that you could have everything…you felt like you had nothing. 

You had more when you were working as a prostitute. 

Now, you just have Simon. 

-

Simon has been feeling your detachment ever since you arrived in New York. He knew that it was his fault; laying his hand on you like that but could anyone really blame him? You were his love; the object of all of his desires. You needed protecting, you needed safety and you needed him to give you the world. 

He was in his office, sorting through the files that he left for a year. He picks up the telephone and dials a number. He wanted you all for himself. He was hungry for you; hunger for your affection, your flesh, your gaze. He’ll do everything to preserve the attention that you were giving him but now that he feels you slipping away, he’s becoming more desperate. It was all Tommy Shelby’s fault and he needed to be dealt with. 

“I sent you the money for the murder of Johnny Wilson,” he speaks into the telephone. “I need you to do gsomething for me again.”

“Hm?” 

Simon speaks into the phone authoritatively. Details of his plan were spoken. He was meticulous and specific with what he wanted.

“Even…even the children?”

“Even the children,” he confirms. He senses the hesitation of the speaker from the other side. “If you do it in less than a year, I’ll add another twenty thousand to the total. I’ll make sure you never have to work a day in your fucking life. Call me when it’s done,” he spits, ending the call and looking at a photo of you on the table; not knowing that on the other side, an intruder was hearing everything that just transpired. 

Who was Simon Coventry? 

-

Cameras flashed as you enter the venue for the charity ball. You were dressed in a blue gown like promised. Simon’s hand was on your waist, smiling tightly at the cameras. He always hated the attention of the media and in your own way, you wanted to calm him down. You touch the hand that was on your waist to remind him that you were there. You smile at him softly and he smiles back. If only he was as soft as he presents himself to be in the media. 

He leads you into the venue without so much a glance offered to the media and you follow. 

“Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” you smiled up at him. 

“You can go ahead and sit,” he says. “I’ll just be greeting some of my partners.” You nod and you allow him to kiss you on the cheek before you part ways. You didn’t know why—but you felt like something was wrong. Something was going to happen tonight. 

A waiter comes to your table and offers you a drink. He was young—probably way younger than you.

“Champagne, please,” you told him. “You’re too young to be working,”

“I-I’m nineteen, ma’am,” he tells you while pouring you a glass.

“Ah, maybe not that young then,” you replied. “Is this your first day?”

“Yes, ma’am. My first day on the job,” he says. “I’m quite nervous to be surrounded by the rich but I need the money…”

“I’m sure you’ll do well,” you replied, offering him a friendly smile. “Here,” you said, opening your clutch and handing him a few pounds. “Think of it as a tip for serving me champagne and for talking to me.”

“This is too much, ma’am,” he refuses but you shove the notes in his hand. You remembered how tips from the brothel helped you so much; it allowed you to buy necessities. It allowed you to get Tommy the signet ring that you got him for his 21st birthday. You were busy talking to the young man that you didn’t notice your husband walking towards you with a scowl on his face. 

“Hey, you,” he sarcastically greets the server, snapping his fingers rudely.. “Refill my glass,”

“Simon— “

“Thank you,” he says, disregarding you completely. The boy turns to leave but Simon stops him. “No, stay. I need you to refill my fucking drink every time.”

“Simon—“

“You think my wife is beautiful?” he asked. The boy looks at you and you attempt to shake your head; telling him to walk away before anything else happens. “I’d be offended if you told me that she wasn’t.”

“Simon— “

He takes a swig of his drink before extending the same empty glass.

“What’s your name?” Simon asked, watching the boy shakily refill the champagne flute. “Don’t spill anything on my wife,” he threatens darkly. The boy swallows. 

“William, sir,”

“William…do you think my wife is pretty?” he asked again. You look around the room to see that everyone was trying to discreetly watch the commotion. You tried standing up but Simon pushed you back down.

“Y-yes, sir,”

Simon nods, pleased with William’s answer.

“You may go, William,” you calmly told him.

“You may not,” Simon says. William’s feet were stuck planted on the ground. He was shaking and you tried to plead with Simon, but he wasn’t looking at you. “Actually, let’s take this outside, hm? Everyone seems to be enjoying this fucking commotion. Come with us, Y/N,”

“Simon, please,”

“Come on, darling,” he says, pulling you away forcefully from the table. You stumble after him, heart racing wildly inside your chest. Fuck. Your shoulders were shaking as you tried to catch your breath. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The three of you arrive in the wine cellar, an empty room where you were sure no one heard you. 

“Stand there,” Simon says. “Y/N, stay beside me.”

William stands in front of Simon, his steps hesitant.

“I’ll give you a deal, William. Do you want a thousand pounds? You’ll never find that anywhere else,” he taunts. You shake your head discreetly, but William wasn't looking at you. He was pale, his breathing shallow. “I’ll give it to you right now. Cash,”

“Y-yes, sir,” he replies. 

“Say please,”

“Simon—“

“Shut up! Shut up!”

“Please, sir,”

“Kneel and beg.”

“Simon, it’s not right! Please, let’s just go home,” 

William kneels in front of Simon, and you could see the sinister smile that played on his lips. He fishes for something in his pocket—a gun. 

“S-sir,”

“You want a thousand pounds, yeah?” he asked, waving his gun in the air. 

“Simon—“

“I don’t want another word from you, Y/N. Or else, I swear, I will fucking shoot you.” he threatens. You were trying your best to stop being so hysterical but you couldn’t. You were sobbing, hands shaking when Simon pointed the gun at the poor boy. You tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to come out; tried to wonder what a monster Simon becamez

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” you choked, crouching down on the floor to comfort yourself. “I’m sorry, William…”

BANG! BANG!

The sounds of a gun going off rings inside the cellar and you flinch. Simon has just shot William twice; one on his stomach, one on his shoulder. It was sloppy; you knew he was aiming for his heart. William lays on the floor with a pool of his own blood, crying in pain. Simon just walks towards him, throwing him a thousand pounds and then spitting on William’s face. 

“Don’t ever look at my fucking wife again. Fix yourself Y/N. We’re going back to the party,”

“Simon, he’s just a kid! Get him to a fucking hospital!”

“I said, fix yourself!” he roared, and you closed your mouth. You stepped away from him, afraid of what he might do.

“Now you know what happens if you ever try to leave me. It’s time for me to show you what I will do to protect you, okay darling?” he asked, crouching down to your level and pulling you in an embrace. He kisses your temples to comfort you for the damage that he has done. “Don’t ever leave me,”

The two of you left William’s body and went back to the party. You were shaken, aloof the whole night. You couldn’t believe what just transpired. Simon’s cruelty—his disregard for himan life for a thousand pounds… You were trying to catch the attention of other servers but were ignored. You just wanted someone to check on William, that poor boy. You and your husband continued to sit beside each other acting like the happy couple, never noticing the pair of blue eyes that seemed to pierce straight into you. 

-

Simon killed Johnny. 

Your hands shook as you read the handwriting on the crumpled piece of paper over and over again. You found it in the clutch that you left in your seat when Simon shot William in the cellar. Turning the paper over, you sobbed; unable to control the emotions that begged for your attention—anger, fear, disgust, sadness…everything seemed to crash into you. You run towards the bathroom to vomit on the toilet. Your whole body tembled, and you cradled yourself on the bathroom floor. You didn’t care if the dress was wet and crumpled…how…why…what did you do in your past life to be punished like this? 

-

You haven’t been the same since you received that note. Simon found you in bed; unmoving and unresponsive. The shock must have been too much to bear but he had to show you—he had to put on a display of what he would do to keep you safe and away from the Shelbys. He didn’t regret anything except for the way your eyes glistened when he threatened to shoot you. That was a sin he’d pay for but for now, maybe silence is enough to soothe you. 

He lays in bed, an inch too far away from you and he couldn’t bear it. He could hear the way your sobs shook the bed; how hard you tried to keep yourself from being too loud. 

“Darling…” he coos but you only cried harder. 

“Not tonight, Simon. Please,” you whispered, desperation kicking in. “I’m…I’m— “

He nods to himself, a wounded puppy. 

“I have…I have to leave you tomorrow to meet with Alfie Solomons,” he tells you. “Use that time to go out or, or get out of this place. I wouldn’t mind if you went alone as long as you have at least one of Alfie’s men to guard you,” 

You wanted to laugh. He was holding your liberty as hostage; taunting you with it whenever he did something wrong but in reality, no matter how much freedom he grants you, his hand will always be on your neck to keep you from leaving. 

“I’m sorry for threatening you,”

“Not tonight, Simon,”

He nods but it actually angers him for you to refuse him so easily. He has given you anything and everything. Hell, he bought you that summer house in Italy already, but you still couldn’t give him the satisfaction of holding you for the night. Did Tommy Shelby hold you while you slept? Would you have let him?

-

You felt Simon kiss your head before he left. You couldn’t sleep last night, thinking of all the ways to tell Tommy or at least anyone about Simon’s plan. You weren’t sure if he was sincere when he told you that you can go out today but you were taking that chance. You knew that Arthur wanted you to protect yourself but maybe this could be the last time. Just this once and then, never again. 

You dressed up, the brown coat covering your figure and giving you shelter from the cruelty of the world that Simon built for the two of you. You ordered one of the servants to fetch you one of Solomons’ men that could drive. You needed to talk to Polly or anyone from Birmingham and the only way to do it was through the telephone. It was too dangerous at home; Simon had eyes and ears everywhere. 

“Mrs. Coventry,” the driver greets you, opening the door to let you in. You settle yourself inside, opening your clutch for a deal he couldn’t resist. 

“Other than driving me around, what else do you do?” you asked him. 

“I’m told to obey all of your orders as long as it complies with what Mr. Coventry asks us,” he replied. “Where are we going today, ma’am?” 

“Just…go to the city,” you replied. “Do you think…do you think you could do something for me? I’ll make sure you’re paid and that you won’t be blamed for anything that comes out of it,”

“Ma’am, I am under strict orders of Mr. Solomons to— “

“Five hundred pounds,” you interrupted, you needed him to understand the urgency of the situation. Your nail beds have bled through the night and were red and swollen. “I can give it to you in cash right now. Just tell me if you know where I could reach the Shelbys the fastest,” You sounded like Simon like now, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care anymore. 

“There…there are Blinders right outside a flat in London. Ada Shelby is rumoured to live there,” he says lowly. 

“Take me there. Make sure you’re discreet and make sure we’re not being followed. I’ll make sure that you’re safe,” you promised him. “Just…just go there as fast as you can,” 

It’s hard to be discreet when you’re driving one of the most expensive cars in the world, but he drove you to Ada Shelby’s house anyway. Five hundred pounds was more than what he could ever make working under Alfie Solomons. 

A storm was brewing, and you were at the centre of all of it. 

-

Ada lives in a building in the centre of London. On the way, your driver told you about how Tommy bought the whole building for her. You smiled softly; Tommy was finally realising his dreams, but he was realising them without you. 

You exited the car, covered from head to toe. You made sure no one recognized you; the lush, brown coat and your hat covered your face entirely. You told him to leave you alone and come back in three hours. He zoomed off, afraid to be seen by one of Simon’s men.

Your breathing was uneven and the steps that you took were shaky. You blamed it on the uneven ground. Knocking on the door, you prayed silently for Ada to hear you. The more time you spend outside, the higher the risk of being recognized. You waited with bated breath, but the door soon opened, revealing none other than the man who occupied every corner of your brain. You rushed inside before he could even speak and he let you, locking the door behind him as he followed you into the drawing room. He stands in front of you, removing the coat from your shoulders gently. You were shivering but not from the cold. How were you more beautiful than the last time he saw you?

“Tommy, Tommy, Tommy,” you said over and over again, like you were making sure that he was there. Your resolve was dissolving, and you were near hysterical. He crouches down in front of you to take a good look for your face. He missed it; he missed your touch…he missed you. His fingers on your waist seem to snap you back to reality and you take a deep breath. “Simon killed Johnny. He’s going to—he’s going to kill all of you,”

-

A/N: Thank you very much for making this far! We’re getting closer to the end of this series but please don’t forget to reblog and comment if you liked it / loved it / hated this chapter, etc! I love discussing and replying to your comments and reblogs.

ALSO: A quick character study on Simon is that he is filty rich. The value of money is immaterial to him. In his eyes, money is a way for him to get anything and everything he wants. It’s what makes people kill and die for each other. If it benefits him, then he’d gladly throw money at whatever it is about.

TAGLIST:  @shelbydelrey @runnning-outof-time @duckybird101 @thenattitude @swordofawriter @litteltourtius​ @trixie23​ @everythingelseisextra​ @majesticcmey @liveat1am @dumb-wh @denabp16 @yvonna-chan @goldensunflowe-r @therosabel @hunnibearrr @dazecrea @daddyslittleattentionwhore @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @dang-shawty-okay @dasia21 @tsenthusiast1920 @aces-tattooartist @panda-luminary @ttaechi @spencerrxids @i-heart-food @fudge13 @affabletimelady @heartcereql @ce1iat @notalxx @1800-queen-trash @sweetwanderlust05 @globetrotter28 @thebestandworstdayofjune @reggxe-a @verreuckteli @vampireluck @zoexme

(I’ll be removing people from my taglist on the next chapter if conditions aren’t met! I’m sorry but that’s the rule….)

More Posts from Xdncrkay and Others

5 years ago
You Tell Them Hoshi
You Tell Them Hoshi
You Tell Them Hoshi

you tell them hoshi

2 years ago

playing hard to get [pt. 2]

as you were a person of bubbly character, he'd gotten used to your bright and cheerful nature, and the ridiculous shenanigans that came along with it. that included your numerous tries to woo him into dating you, with each attempt ending in failure. you weren't too depressed by it, returning to your usual jovial personality even after rejections... and he'd taken that for granted. he didn't expect you to do the “push-and-pull” tactic on him, and neither did he expect it'd work so well.

includes: zhongli, albedo & kazuha

pt. 1 - diluc, xiao & childe

pt. 3 - ayato & heizou

Playing Hard To Get [pt. 2]

ZHONGLI, despite his tendency to forget his wallet in times he offered to pay for dinner or his shortcomings regarding with romance in general, still managed to grasp the hearts of men and women alike. it wasn't odd for the ferrylady to knock on his door and tiredly brief him about yet another visitor eager to see him, and he had to wave them off if they weren't a client for the funeral parlor.

there was one person he couldn't possibly fend off, though. you.

it's not that ZHONGLI didn't want you to leave. it was more of his inability to urge you to do so. his stern rejections didn't deter you from continuing to court him, thus you were unafraid to see him once more even after yesterday's answer being a firm “i can't reciprocate your affection.” your tenacity was impressive, he'd give you that, but that wasn't an actual compliment, was it? he was only calling you a stubborn fool, one way or another.

it didn't help that you were closely acquainted with the funeral parlor's director, hu tao herself. your presence was greatly welcomed in his workplace, as her good friend, and nobody could turn you away. ZHONGLI could understand why you got along so well; you were both troublemakers in your own right.

when you came over that afternoon, he had already prepared himself for a terrible time. you often pestered him to go on a date with you, and he regularly turned down the invitations without a second thought. the thing is, you could take “no” for an answer... but the reason you assume behind that rejection was “he doesn't like the place” instead of “he doesn't want to go with you,” hence you pestering him to visit a more agreeable location. you knew he'd eventually give in if you annoyed him enough.

but that didn't happen. you headed straight to hu tao's office without offering him a single glance, papers in hand, and he assumed it was work related. that meant you wouldn't come disturb him anymore: a cause for celebration!

yet that didn't pull a sigh of relief from him, much to his surprise. he only felt... conflicted. his muddled feelings mixed into a sense of unease, and it wouldn't leave.

ZHONGLI perked up when the office doors swung open an hour later, unknowingly anticipating your figure to strut through. “do you want to go out for lunch? i heard the restaurant nearby got a new menu. my treat, since i received this month's salary,” you grinned at hu tao, who brightened upon the news of free food.

meanwhile, ZHONGLI did the opposite, slumping over his chair. he'd heard of the new menu. in fact, he thought it sounded delicious, fitting perfectly with his tastes. he assumed you'd ask him out like you always did. he wanted you to ask him. no, hold on a second... why was he feeling this way?

“a tempting offer, but...!” hu tao sighed loudly, catching his attention. with an inconspicuous wink, she said, “i'm afraid i have a pile of work waiting for me! hey mr. zhongli, would you mind coming for my stead?”

he was sure you'd think hu tao was helping you court him and not the other way around. that was okay for him, too.

“...it's fine,” he said, settling his paperwork off to side of his desk before standing from his seat.

“nope, don't be so fast to reject me, ZHONGLI! if you don't like that restaurant, then we can- huh?” you blinked at him owlishly, in utter disbelief. he almost chuckled fondly at your strange expression.

(he steeled his resolve to end this “push-and-pull” once and for all.)

Playing Hard To Get [pt. 2]

it was of no surprise to know ALBEDO despised anyone who'd dare disturb him in the middle of his studies, and yes, perhaps you were the sole exception, but you were on thin fucking ice. even klee had to stay out of his room when he was busy. he'd been patient at first, politely requesting you to leave for the time being or wait until his work was over, but it was hard to remain as generous when you were... plainly speaking, being a bother. everybody knew it was taboo to intrude his office, and really, you were only a distraction he didn't need to be around.

sucrose had been the poor recipient of all his grumblings, left with no other choice but to awkwardly laugh whenever complaints spilled from his mouth. still, she noted the hint of fondness lacing his words; annoyed nonetheless, but not to the point that it gravely upset him.

“is it that bad for me to visit? i try not to talk...” you inquired one day, pouting as ALBEDO was clearly occupied with mixing an oddly colored concoction. he sighed, explaining that even only the presence of another could be a hindrance. he pointedly left out the part where he'd end up getting distracted by your pretty face, which was actually the real reason behind his actions.

that moment, you simply nodded in solemn understanding, but he didn't think better of it. yet when the next day came, you didn't swing by; ALBEDO was elated, assuming it was just a lucky day, but you didn't visit the next day either. or the next, or the following days after that. when a week passed and there was no sign of your whereabouts anywhere near his office, his concerns grew tenfold.

it was, admittedly, humiliating to turn to the door excitedly whenever he heard a knock, only to be crestfallen to see sucrose. honestly, what was he expecting? she was his assistant, so of course it'd be her and not anyone else. that was how it was supposed to be in the first place without your meddlesome presence.

ALBEDO was certain she picked up on his disappoinment, though, if her amused giggle was anything to go by. “i heard [name] traveled far to fetch the flower you wanted to examine since forever,” she informed, kindly pretending not to see the embarrassed flush of his cheeks. “we should give a gift in return!”

“...yes, you're right.”

he didn't miss you, not one bit. absolutely not.

...that being said, he should probably practice his poker face before you returned to mondstadt.

Playing Hard To Get [pt. 2]

KAZUHA, as carefree as he might seem on the surface, was more cautious than everybody gave him credit for. he didn't respond to your advances not because he didn't like you back, but because he didn't deem himself fit to be your significant other when he'd often leave liyue with the crux fleet to explore. he couldn't promise you a stable relationship, and he thought you deserved someone better than a boyfriend so quick to abandon you.

he told you as much, but you never listened, firm in your decision to stay with him. no matter how long his trips lasted, or how many other people asked for your hand — you wouldn't budge at all.

KAZUHA became content with that, deep down in his heart. he didn't want you to date someone else either. but it wasn't like all his thoughts would be shown to the entire world, so he could choose his words carefully, pick the most rational option. and that option was to let you go, since that would make you happiest.

still, he loved it whenever he saw you waving enthusiastically at him from afar each time the alcor arrived at the harbor. he loved it when you jump into his arms, eager to touch him again after weeks without seeing a glimpse of him. he loved it when you bury your face into his neck, unable to see the pure adoration reflecting in his eyes, the fond expression he had to hide all the time when you were around.

he loved you.

but he had to restrain himself for your sake. that was for the best, wasn't it? he couldn't be selfish. binding you to a relationship wouldn't do you any good. it was far better for you to meet someone else who could actually stay by your side, someone who wouldn't trade you for anything else. someone who could treat you right.

but something in him shatters when he doesn't see you at the docks. the alcor finally returned after a month, and he was near enough to recognize faces from afar, but you weren't there. you were nowhere to be found, and he was growing frantic. you didn't have to be there, but he felt nauseated without your presence. where were you? he hopped off the ship, landing gracefully on steady ground, and he didn't hesitate. his eyes swept across the entire area, searching and searching and searching, and-

who was that man beside you?

“oh, KAZUHA, you're back!” you exclaimed with familiar cheer, grinning widely. he couldn't bring himself to force a smile. “ah, i'm a bit... busy at the moment.” you gestured towards your companion, who nodded at KAZUHA in greeting. “but i swear i'll come once this is over, i promise.”

“it's fine. take your time,” the words managed to escape from his mouth despite the uncomfortable feeling lodged in his throat. you frowned at his despondent countenance, reluctant to leave him as is. you glanced at the man accompanying you, and he took it as his cue to walk ahead.

awkwardly, you shifted your weight from one foot to another. “w-well, i'm... uh...” you were unsure of what to do to lift his spirits. still, you raised your hands to grasp at his shirt, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself. you pecked him on the cheek, successfully snapping him out of his stupor, and he yelped in surprise, his whole face erupting into a shade of crimson. before he could compose yourself, you hastily stepped away from him, waving farewell. “w-we'll be going now! don't miss me too much, okay?”

dumbfounded as he was left behind, he cupped his cheek, the skin where you made contact with tingling beneath his fingertips.

you were just in front of him seconds prior but he already wanted to see you again, so it seemed that he couldn't follow your instructions, unfortunately.

5 years ago

Words To Describe A Person's Voice

Based on this list originally posted by christmas-taire. The formatting was hard to read, so I changed it up, as well as removing some words for lack of a really useful definition, and adding others I thought of.

adenoidal: if someone’s voice is adenoidal, some of the sound seems to come through their sinuses.

appealing: an appealing voice is attractive in an aesthetic manner, usually subjective based on the particular voice and the person listening to it; when a voice is appealing, it may sound pleasant or amiable

breathy: speaking as if you cannot catch your breath, or talking through a breath.

brittle: a tense, tight voice, indicative of the speaker about to lose control of their emotions

croaky: if someone’s voice sounds croaky, they speak in a low rough voice that sounds as if they have a sore throat or their throat is very dry and they cannot fully get their words out

dead: if someone’s voice is dead, they feel or show no emotion, sounding as though they have no enthusiasm for life

disembodied: a disembodied voice means you cannot see the physical body from which the voice is coming; it often sounds ethereal, ghostly, or otherwordly

flat: spoken in a voice that does not go up and down; there is no emotion in the voice. Usually used in a sarcastic or resigned manner.

grating: a grating voice is unpleasant and annoying; typically what makes the voice grating is subjective based on the listener’s preferences

gravelly: a gravelly voice sounds deep and scratchy

gruff: a gruff voice is rough and low, often sounding as though spoken on an exhale; usually used to hide strong emotion

guttural: a guttural sound is deep and made at the back of your throat

high-pitched: a high-pitched voice has a high vocal range; can be spoken loudly or quietly 

hoarse: someone who is hoarse speaks in a low, quiet, roughened voice, usually because their throat is sore or excessively dry

honeyed: a honeyed voice sounds very pleasant, sweet, and friendly, even overly so; typically the speaker does this intentionally either for sarcasm or to manipulate a situation to their advantage

husky: a husky voice is deep, rich, and throaty, often spoken in an attractive or alluring way based on physical attraction

loving: a tone of voice used when a person has great love and affection for another person, creature, or thing

low: a low voice is quiet and difficult to hear

matter-of-fact: used about someone’s behavior or voice to describe a simple, upfront statement of fact.

modulated: a modulated voice is controlled and pleasant to listen to

monotonous: a monotonous voice is dull and never changes tone; it does not change in volume or emotion

mousy: a small, weak, and oftentimes fearful voice; can also be very quiet.

nasal: someone with a nasal voice sounds as if they are speaking through their nose, often somewhat stuffy and unclear and sometimes as thought the person has a cold

orotund: an orotund voice is loud and clear

penetrating: a penetrating voice is powerful and intimidating, it draws your attention very easily; this voice can be used to describe any vocal range, but usually is applied to lower voices because they are often so strong

plummy: a plummy voice or way of speaking is considered to be typical of an English person of a high social class. This word shows that you dislike people who speak like this.

quietly: a voice using very little volume

raucous: a raucous voice is usually loud and unruly, and can be considered rude and/or immature

ringing: a ringing voice echoes with great power, strength, determination, and clarity; it can be very intimidating

rough: a rough voice is harsh and hard, often leaning towards gravelly

shaky: unstable movement in the voice usually caused by fear, lack of confidence, physical weakness, or crying

shrill: a shrill voice is very loud and high-pitched, often created directly from the sinus area

silvery: a silvery voice or sound is clear, light, smooth, and pleasant; sometimes considered musical; frequently used to describe people who lie a lot

singsong: if you speak in a singsong voice, your voice rises and falls in a musical way, as though you are singing the words

small: a small voice is quiet and sounds as thought it is intimidated easily

smoky: a smoky voice is usually rich, husky, and sensual

softly spoken: someone who is softly spoken has a gentle, quiet voice

sotto voce (adjective, adverb): in a very quiet voice

stentorian: a stentorian voice sounds very loud and severe

strangled: a strangled voice is one in which the speaker cannot fully form the words because of someone or something blocking the airway; what comes out is often a garbled and sounds like gurgling a little bit

strident: a strident voice or sound is loud and unpleasant

taut: a taut voice is tight and tense, usually holding back strong emotion such as anger or anxiety.

thick: if your voice is thick, it sounds clogged

thickly: see above^

thin: a thin voice or sound is somewhat wear; it has no real power

throaty: a throaty sound is low and seems to come from deep in your throat

tight: a tight voice or expression shows that you are nervous or annoyed

toneless: a toneless voice does not express any emotion

tremulous: if something such as your voice or smile is tremulous, it is not steady, for example because you are afraid or excited

wheezy: a wheezy noise that sounds as if it is made by someone who has difficulty breathing

whiny: an annoying voice, sometimes high in pitch, often used to complain about trivial or inconsequential matters.

wobbly: if your voice is wobbly, it goes up and down, usually because you are frightened, not confident, or are going to cry

5 years ago

me, with a vague plot idea, 1 (one) character name, and an outline that consists of mostly question marks:

Me, With A Vague Plot Idea, 1 (one) Character Name, And An Outline That Consists Of Mostly Question Marks:
2 years ago

hi! if you’re not busy could you do some royalxroyal prompts? i have a princess oc i’m working on and i want to be able to give options for role plays besides them just mEeTiNg aT a bAlL oNe nIgHT

Of course!

Royal x Royal OTP Prompts

Prompts

A’s and B’s kingdoms often have meetings to discuss negotiations. As the kings and queens work out all the official stuff, A and B just sit there, bored out of their minds. They bond over how awful these frequent meetings are, and find creative ways to make the meetings more interesting.

A and B’s siblings are arranged to be married in the wedding of the century. The two kingdoms come together to make the wedding happen, and A and B are left with a fair amount of the planning.

A war has broken out in A’s kingdom and A is sent away to live with B for their protection.

Oneliners

“The only royal you are, is a royal pain in the ass”

“It’s awful that you live so far away, as it means I can only express my love through letters. And, as you know, I’m more talented with my mouth than with my pen”

“I would destroy my entire kingdom if it meant I got to be with you” “Is that a promise or a threat?”

“I’ve never seen you at any balls” “I’m not the most sociable”

“Can’t we just fall in love without having to worry about politics?”

Also see:

Modern royalty prompts and oneliners

2 years ago

❞ [ 10. ] bumping into strangers

— 9:17 pm, LOG TWO: xiao’s whereabouts.

❞ [ 10. ] Bumping Into Strangers
❞ [ 10. ] Bumping Into Strangers

it is 9:17 in the evening when the realization dawns that despite being a man of circumspect, xiao remains baffled of the fact that he has absolutely no idea how long he’s been craning his neck across his shoulder to stare mindlessly at you.

he knows he has never dived headfirst so thoughtlessly and recklessly into all sorts of undesired situations. but he betrays himself when the sworn occasional glimpses take a gradual metamorphosis into unconsciously bewitched gazes.

it’s amazing how three long years have passed, and yet you still looked like the girl he met back in the last year of high school.

“xiao,” an impatient nudge echoes from a faintly tipsy childe. “what are you spacing out for?”

xiao hesitates to tear his eyes away from the outlying sight. but when he lazily glances at the half-full vodka shot raised in front of him, he wonders why he expects to see you holding it out towards him instead of the pretty stranger sporting a rather flirtatious smile. was she also a fourth year taking the same major? he couldn’t seem to recognize her distinct features from anywhere.

nevertheless, he takes the offered glass in his hand and throws his head back to tilt the drink squarely against his mouth, potent liquid passing by his lips until the spicy flavor violently punches the back of his throat.

it tastes fucking disgusting.

the world shines a bit too brightly as he forces himself to swallow the vodka down his throat. he blinks several times to fight the dazed sensation, vague noises of his friends’ chorused cheers resounding around him.

and when his gaze flutters subconsciously across the end of the room, he finds you staring illegibly at him.

it doesn’t hurt even when it takes less than a second for you to look away.

❞ [ 10. ] Bumping Into Strangers

it is 9:34 in the evening when you suddenly collide into xiao’s chest with flushed cheeks. he reaches out to seize you in his arms, proving successful in breaking you from an awfully clumsy fall.

you stare blankly at him for the second time since you arrived — and yet for him, he’s already lost track of how many times he strained his neck just to peer over in curiosity.

it feels bittersweet, the way either of you somehow always make your way back into the other’s life without warning.

xiao can’t stop himself from asking whether you’re okay, hoping the slight tremble of his drunken voice was rendered inaudible to your ears.

“i’m fine.” comes your begrudging response as he helps you stand. surprisingly, you don’t bat his hands away as he carefully props you up.

you think he seems almost a bit concerned despite his characteristically apathetic nature that you’ve begun to acquaint yourself with for a while now, but you fearfully shake the far-fetched theory off and pace away from him in hurried steps.

leaving him behind to watch.

❞ [ 10. ] Bumping Into Strangers

it is 9:42 in the evening when xiao leaves the party to take the night bus back to the dormitories.

he hated the wafting stench of drinks. he hated the stuffiness of the venue. he hated the girls that stared at him for too long. he hated the guys who egged him on to do something stupid. he hated the spreading of faint pain across his neck. he hated your flushed cheeks. he hated childe for miraculously convincing him to tag along.

and yet, xiao finds himself gazing quietly outside the glass window.

because for the first time in three years, he finally allows himself to wonder how it all went wrong.

❞ [ 10. ] Bumping Into Strangers

I WISH YOU WERE SOBER — [ previous. masterlist. next ]

synopsis — in which you were never really one for spontaneity or precipitous decisions, until you got yourself drunk at your senior year university party and woke up the next morning with the most dreadful of hangovers…along with a painfully distorted memory of a stolen kiss on that hazy evening.

note — because we love mysterious pasts with the ex hihi

taglist — @tihgnari @ceylestia @eissaaaa @venyan @sohyuki @senjurro @bobaducky @dinoshimaaa @sharoshing @ioverjn @hey-comrade-hold-stil @skaramush @lesboluvs @clovcly @ventuswhat @zephestia @theother-victoria @neptun-es @ihaveahunterlisence @minyoungieee @astolary @wrenhyperfixates @heartonthemoon @goodthingimsam @capybara4lyfers @slvdsjjk @michelindu @kimiesstuff @itssoizzy @kazuzux @hiqhkey @layla240 @justrisahere @one-offmind @diaflower @liquor-kissez @tokanite @pooonyo @sweetstrawberrybabe @yeeden @nejibot @lcvez @rion-s @sakushoujo @koiir @lost-wicked-artist @dampam @q1ngx1n @yer1sdi4ry @bleedingwhiteroses222 @starglitterz @xdncrkay @uwak-uwak-uwak-uwak

1 year ago

The pale elf has ruined my life

The Pale Elf Has Ruined My Life
2 years ago
LOWKEY
LOWKEY

LOWKEY

a kamisato ayato social media au

i’ve been lookin’ at you since half past two wanna take this downtown? this liquid courage got me way too honest

pairing — ayato x f! reader [ S2L! college au ]

summary — it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?

warnings — cursing, light angst

status — on-going / updates every other day

author’s note — in the smau, ayato is only a year older than ayaka. parts that have this symbol ‘ღ’ means its in written format.

LOWKEY

profiles — teyvat stripers / overworked w no pay

ꕤ 01. damn rich kids

ꕤ 02. kamisato material (ღ)

ꕤ 03. wait, ayato?

ꕤ 04. ayaka material gworl

ꕤ 05. nice meeting you (ღ)

ꕤ 06. its just a tiny crush

ꕤ 07. he’s off limits to you

ꕤ 08. don’t leave me on read.

ꕤ 09. one question a day

ꕤ 10. okay new rule

ꕤ 11. i met you that night

ꕤ 12. fine, i admit it. she is.

ꕤ 13. how mediocre

ꕤ 14. shut up k no one likes u

ꕤ 15. pick another major

ꕤ 16. a dunk of cold water (ღ)

ꕤ 17. this is so exciting

ꕤ 18. lord im gonna have a stroke

—» bonus. lockscreen wallpaper

ꕤ 19. you can wear my sweater (ღ)

ꕤ 20. thats a secret

ꕤ 21. what a bunch of bullshit

ꕤ 22. mtoo drubk

ꕤ 23. even if you don’t remember (ღ)

ꕤ 24. ur acting like a coward

ꕤ 25. who says we wont?

ꕤ 26. only for today (ღ)

ꕤ 27. too good at goodbyes

ꕤ 28. stop being naive, ayato! (ღ)

ꕤ 29. i love horror movies

ꕤ 30.

ꕤ taglist — CLOSED. asks that are about being added to the taglist from here on out will be deleted. tell me if u want to be removed from the list or you changed usernames. thanks!

LOWKEY
2 years ago

⋆‧͙˚*✧•̩̩͙*˚  Fairytale  ˚*•̩̩͙✧*˚‧͙⋆

I thought that writing Herbarium would free me from the Capitano agenda. But I was wrong and now we have a side story + epilogue written from Capitano’s POV…….pls don’t expect much from this, as it’s just a collection of dark fluff and bonus scenes which take place throughout Herbarium. Also, three cheers for Sumeru update ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

To those who previously enjoyed Herbarium, I hope you enjoy this fic and don’t mind me tagging you. I will forever be grateful for your feedback!! And thank you once again to my dear friend @diodellet​ for peer-reviewing another self-indulgent fic :’>

Tw:: YANDERE, unhealthy relationships, kidnapping, violence, blood, murder, psychological trauma, mention of child abuse, mention of nsfw, spice, MINORS DNI

Note:: Female reader described as physically weak and smaller than Capitano, pre-release characterization of Capitano which will likely be obliterated by canon lore

♡ 3.3k words under the cut ♡

⋆‧͙˚*✧•̩̩͙*˚  Fairytale  ˚*•̩̩͙✧*˚‧͙⋆

i. Once upon a time, an unlikely romance blossomed between a Monster and a Damsel.

The battlefield is a merciless place. A corner of the world nourished by violence and bloodshed, a place where only the strong could lay claim to honor and victory. For as long as he had been a Fatui Harbinger, Il Capitano had full control over this domain.

On the battlefield, there is no chance to appreciate the beauty of the natural surroundings, not when all would eventually be sullied by blood and death.

And yet here he is, standing in a peaceful meadow so far removed from the reality of the world. Having fallen victim to an opponent like no other, whose weapons take the form of melancholic glances and immortalized flowers.

“This is for you.”

She gives him flowers again. The dandelions are pressed between two sheets of parchment paper, puffy seeds flattened and denied of their promised liberation.

And just as he had done with that fateful bunch of windwheel asters, Capitano accepts her gift.

Keep reading

5 years ago
How Alluring…
How Alluring…

How Alluring…

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in the bleak midwinter

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