Mustaches Are Just Mouth Eyebrows

Playing music in my car is auxiliarating

Twizzlers are just candy beef jerky

Robert Outie Jr

Contractions function almost identically to the full two-word phrase, but are only appropriate in some places in a sentence. It’s one of the weird quirks of this language we’ve.

the crime the criminal

Barnacles are just anchor sores.

Please take this wood horse.

There is nothing else to it.

We are serious.

Attention: Timothy ate Elizabeth

Listen to me. Liz in Timmy

An open letter to microfiber cloths:

Why do you smudge my glasses when your purpose is to remove smudges?

Snail in the coffin