NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND || CA
summary: You want more from Carlos and he can’t provide it.
pairing: carlos alcaraz x fem!reader
warnings: Angst, it’s just kinda miserable sorrryyyyy
a/n: I wanted to write something depressing….but I might write a happy part two if that’s something people want?
MASTERLIST
Your room was shrouded in darkness only momentarily broken by the occasional car light and the glimmer of distant buildings out of the window.
The bed sheets were ruffled, pulled around your legs splayed out across your stomach. You watched your phone light up and then turn off, over and over. It was late. You should be asleep.
Each time your phone lit up the room your eyes watched it, hopefully reading each notification to no avail. He hadn't messaged.
You knew losing another game to Novak was going to be difficult for him, you had been there after the Olympics, wiped his tears and held him trying to help him forget the match.
You vividly remember the softness in his eyes after that game, the way he broke down convinced he'd disappointed his country. This time was different. It had been weeks since the match and you hadn't heard anything from him.
Forgotten was the usual post-match call, and the promise to fly you out or come see you the moment he got a chance. Instead, you were reduced to watching his Instagram stories and staring mindlessly at the read notification under the message.
You weren't his girlfriend, and he didn't owe you anything but when he found his way to your bed after each match and invited you to more and more events were you crazy to think it had gone beyond casual.
Trying to turn away from your phone that taunted you each time someone other than Carlos messaged you tried to fall asleep. The bed felt empty and cold, no matter how many layers you wore it didn't replicate the heat of lying next to him.
It was like you could feel the ghost of his hand against your body, staving off the sleep you desperately craved. Instead, you were being haunted by the memories of long nights spent with his body pressed against yours, his moans echoing through your mind.
Just as your eyes began to feel heavy and the memory of him subsided, your phone blared out behind you. You didn't need to turn towards it to see who it was, the ringtone alone indicated it was the very man who had been plaguing your mind.
For a second you considered ignoring it. Letting him feel what it's like to be waiting by the phone for your response. But every muscle and nerve in your body pulled you towards the phone, dragging you to pick it up.
Pressing the green button his voice flooded your senses, "Amor, ¿estás en casa?" (love, are you home?) The pet name sent shivers down your spine,
"Yeah, I'm at home." You tried to sound uninterested like you hadn't been sat by your phone for hours just waiting for his call.
"Estaré allí en diez minutos." (I'll be there in ten minutes.) You let out a scoff, taken back by the rashness. There have been times when Carlos impulsively visited you but never after not talking to you for nearly a week without reason. But before you could protest his voice came back through the phone, "Te extraño" (I miss you).
Your shoulders relaxed and your chest fluttered. The effect he held over you needed to be studied because you lost any semblance of a backbone when you were around him. "I'll see you soon then".
The next ten minutes were the longest of your entire life. tiding your room and making it look less like a warzone was the top priority but it seemed to take seconds and you found yourself sitting in the kitchen waiting for the knock on the door.
When it came your heart raced, but you moved towards the door. Pulling it open he stood casually, wearing jeans and a hoodie with his hair still buzzed although looking messier and his big brown eyes focused on you.
You moved to the side to let him into your apartment and he faltered slightly, watching you with a scrutinising gaze. Suddenly in your pyjama shorts, you felt exposed and vulnerable.
"How have you been?" You tried to ease the palpable tension between you as the regret for allowing him in began to creep in. But every time you looked at him your resolve crumbled so you needed to keep your distance.
He looked down at his feet, then up, meeting your eyes as he took a deep breath before talking. "AO was shit, you know how frustrating it is to come so close, again, and lose. Novak was injured and I still couldn't beat him, what does that say about my tennis." His shoulders were tense and as you dared to look at his face you could see the bags under his eyes had worsened.
You wanted to be there for him but you couldn't help but be annoyed that this was the first conversation you'd had in weeks.
"you could've called." you watched as his eyes met yours before quickly glancing away.
"I know"
"or texted" He shuffled from one foot to the other, though usually, the sight of him uncomfortable would cause a tightness in your chest, you couldn't help but push for answers. "Or really done anything other than randomly showing up at my apartment at 3 am after not texting me for weeks." you paused and looked at him, "I would've been there for you."
His gaze focused in on you and for a second a softness passed through his gaze before it shifted to frustration, he stood up straighter. "Come on, Y/N, that's not fair AO was-"
"No Carlos, you know what's not fair. You telling me before AO that you cared about me and wanted me to come watch your matches and sit in the coaches box to then not talking to me after one shit result." His eyes widened shocked by the outburst. You'd never opened up about how it felt to be his secret. With countless promises thrown your way to end up unfulfilled.
He stepped forward, the distance had shrunk and you could smell the aftershave that seemed to stain all your belongings after a visit. You knew it would hang around reminding you of this moment too. His large hand reached out to take your hand and in a moment of pure instinct, you stepped back.
"I can't do this anymore Carlos."
"What?" His brows were furrowed, deeply knitted together as he watched you play with the rings on your fingers.
"I don't want this anymore, I don't want to constantly be waiting by my phone for you, or hoping that this match is the match where you'll finally introduce me to anyone as your girlfriend instead of a friend. I'm tired of constantly having to listen to interviews and jokes about you being single, or you being rumoured with whichever woman it is this week. I'm constantly your second chance and sometimes it doesn't even feel like I'm second. I'm so tired of loving you Carlos when I don't even think you like me."
Your eyes began to water as you focused your eyes on the floor, you didn't want to cry in front of him, you were determined not to let him know the effect he held over you. He looked shocked. Sure he knew you cared about him but you truly doubted he ever thought it had gone that far.
"I didn't know"
But how couldn't he? You had spent countless nights laughing and talking until the sun rose. You'd spent afternoons cooking and laughing every time Carlos burnt something as simple as pasta. You'd fallen asleep next to him as he held you in a way that felt more intimate than any sex could and yet he couldn't tell you loved him.
You couldn't help but let the tears fall as you watched the man you loved watching you so cluelessly as if loving you was so distant from his mind that he couldn't even comprehend it.
"You should go." You walked past him back towards the door as his hand reached reach for your arm. He pulled you to face him his hand reaching your cheek and his eyes meeting yours. Tenderly he wiped the tears from your eyes.
"Por favor no hagas esto" (please don't do this) his voice was soft, a quiet plea as he so carefully held your face. You took a shaky breath in, lifting your hand to his, and watching as his brown eyes softened under your gaze.
For a moment you considered giving into him and falling back into the pattern you had gotten so used to but something inside you knew you needed to draw the line. You pulled his hand from your cheek, kissing his palm lightly before putting it down back at his side.
"I need more."
He began walking towards the door, his head down and shoulder slumped. Before he left he hesitated and just for a second your heart began to race thinking he was going to turn around and tell you he wanted more and he wanted it with you.
But he didn’t, instead he took another step forward out of the door and left without a goodbye.
Pushing the door closed your head fell against it as you let the tears rack through you. Suddenly the prospect of being without him felt so much more daunting than when he stood in front of you.
You slid down the door, sitting against it as you cried and waited for him to come back and knock on the door.
But, when the sun began to rise over the buildings and the tears had dried on your cheeks you realised it was truly over and while you would be broken his world would go on turning.
carlos alcaraz indoor hard court son or iga swiatek grass court daughter
ALWAYS THERE || CA
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summary: As Carlos’ childhood best friend you’ve been by the side since the beginning. While Carlos insisted he only saw you as a friend you couldn’t help as your feelings for him grew.
pairing: carlos alcaraz x fem!reader
warning: angst, fluff
a/n: been thinking about this plot for a while.
MASTERLIST
The first time you met Carlos, you were four years old. Meeting when your parents move a few houses down the road.
You had approached the door holding onto your mother's hand, and when it opened, you saw a short boy with messy brown hair and large brown eyes gazing at you from behind his mother's legs.
You were too young to remember clearly, but Carlos's mother and yours loved to tell the story of you two cuddled up on the floor of his room when they came to take you home.
From that moment it seemed you were inseparable. You sat through each of Carlos' early tennis matches, encouraging his passion and indulging in his dream of being one of the great.
While he was on the court, you were in the studio. Painting and drawing with every chance you got and for every art show you attended Carlos was there ready to wrap his arms around you and tell you how proud he was.
Every memory from your childhood has his big brown eyes as the prominent feature, and he’d engraved himself within your soul.
When Carlos was 16 and told you he was making his ATP debut, you had screamed, he lifted you into the air wrapping his strong arms around you.
You’d placed your hands gently on either side of his face and pulled his forehead to yours. Uttering over and over again how proud of him you were.
You had sat in his player's box for that match with your hands sweating and legs shaking as you analysed every movement and hit the Spaniard made.
Your head cutting from one side to the other watching carefully every micro movement made by both Carlos and his opponent.
With the final shot in Carlos’ favour, you couldn’t hold back the tears. You couldn't help but rise to your feet, clapping and screaming with pride.
He had beamed at you from the court, and you knew that he would be part of you forever.
...
You had always thought Carlos was attractive, you were his friend - not blind. But for the longest time it had never phased you, laughing off every comment that people made about the two of you ending up together.
But something changed after his professional debut. With him travelling, you spent more time alone in hotel rooms around the world together.
After a particularly gruelling tennis tournament for Carlos you had retired to his hotel room. He lay beside you as a movie droned on in the background. His hand tracing absent minded patterns across your arm.
Completely content in each other company, your whole body at peace with the state of your lives, you had turned to him and asked about the future.
“Do you think you’ll ever get sick of me?” You had quietly muttered, your eyes avoiding his questioning gaze instead watching his eyebrows as they knitted together.
Gently he reached his hand up brushing a stray strand of hair from your face and smiled sweetly, “I couldn’t live without you, even if I wanted to.”
You closed your eyes and sighed, nodding as Carlos’ hand settled on your cheek. “plus, I plan on being your biggest pain in the ass for a long time.”
You laughed, playfully shoving the Spaniard away from you. He rolled back underestimating the space left on the bed and he plummeted to the floor with a thud.
Your laughs turned to wheezes and Carlos gasped in mock anger grasping his heart dramatically. “Laughing at my pain, I can’t believe you.”
Through torrid giggles you managed to collected enough composure to speak, “for a tennis player you aren’t very graceful.”
Carlos bolted up, a scream came from your lips as you rushed in reaction dashing out of the room as quickly as possible. The Spaniard followed, his long legs reducing your escape attempt to a measly ten steps.
His arms circled your waist pulling him tight against his chest as he lifted you off the ground. You’d spun round you push him away but his grip remained firm, his large hands settled just under your t-shirt setting your skin ablaze.
Your eyes met his big brown gaze, watching you with a look of something that you couldn’t quite place. Your stomach flipped and a wave of something akin to nausea hit you.
Suddenly it felt as though you’d forgotten to breathe, electricity buzzing in his watchful gaze. Your heart raced as Carlos began to close the gap.
You felt your heart skip a beat as you thought for a second he was going to kiss you. You could’ve sworn you watched his gaze fall to your lips but just before that vital point of no return he pulled you in for a hug.
the tension from the desperate moment before dissipated, replaced with tender appreciation.
But as his lips brushed your ear and shivers rushed down your spine. “I’d be no where without you.”
Your arms slid around his shoulders holding him close, fingers running softly through the hair at the back of his neck.
“And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” You held him close, soaking in each other’s presence.
He nestled his head in the crook of your neck and with every brush of his nose against you had your heart racing.
He pulled away, his lips sweetly meeting you cheek as he made his way back to the bedroom, calling your name.
You stood in the hallway, your breathing ragged as you ran your hand over your face. Your body was tense and you could still feel the ghost of Carlos’ hand on your waist.
You stared silently at the open bedroom door, trying to ignore the looming feeling that something had changed.
From there, something was ignited within you. You wondered if you'd always harboured these feelings for the man who you'd grown up with.
You'd never really been in a relationship, struggling to find a man that measured up to Carlos. At first you thought it was just because Carlos had shown you how you deserved to be treated - not to mention he rarely approved of the men you liked.
...
In your final year of school before heading off to University, you had a big formal to celebrate. The excitement had been building over the year and as the months drew closer your friends urged you to find a date.
A date hadn't particularly interested you, with none of the guys you knew ever giving you butterflies, or making you nervous. You travelled a lot with Carlos and it meant you struggled to find time for an active love life outside of the boundaries of school.
But your friends had laughed when you suggested going alone, sending you a list of guys who would love to take you to the dance. You resisted as much as you could but they refused to let up.
One of the guys suggested was a guy who you'd been friends with throughout school. He was sweet, funny and could hold a conversation. You were doubtful you'd leave the dance with the love of your life but he seemed like he'd be fun to spend the dance with.
Carlos should've been at the dance but the commitments of his professional tennis career called him away.
He demanded you have the best time and call him to debrief after. You laughed and agreed, wishing him luck for his tournament.
Your date had arrived promptly, bringing flowers and shooting you a charming smile with a slew of compliments at the sight of you in your dress.
The evening had started well, with drinks and laughs filling the hall where the Formal was held. Your date had been a dream. Being respectful and beaming at you when you made a joke.
You danced with your friends and giggled your way through the night until the music shifter to being more romantic. The tune slowed and the groups dancing on the floor morphed into pairs.
Your date asked if you wanted to dance, extending his hand to you. taking his hand you moved to the dance floor and settled with your arms on his shoulders and his hands tentatively reached for your waist.
You both laughed and talked as you swayed to the music. You fell into a comfortable rhythm. His hand moved to the side of your face and he leaned forward.
Panic flooded your body as you realised what was about to happen, the characteristic gaze in his eye that you’d seen before in men. Your body went rigid and your mind went to the tall Spaniard who was in a hotel somewhere winding down from a day of playing tennis.
Before you let his lips meet yours you turned your head, shifting the almost kiss to your cheek. Unease settled in your stomach and you suddenly felt the need to get away.
You politely excused yourself from the dance floor, making your way to the exit in desperate need for some fresh air.
You stormed through the hallways pushing open the doors and letting the cool air hit you. Your lungs gasped for breath and you doubled over, hands finding your knees to support yourself.
Your head was pounding, your heart was racing and as you pulled yourself up. You could still feel the boy's hands burning into your side, your face alight from his touch. But you didn't find comfort in it, instead, it sent a sick feeling through you.
You sat down against the wall, your hand finding your phone in your bag. Silently, you dialed his number, putting the phone to your ear, and waited as the phone rang.
He picked up after just two rings. "Hola amor." (Hi love). His raspy voice signified you'd just woken him up, but you couldn't help the pang of warmth rushing through you when his words hit you.
He’d been calling you love since you were children. An innocent nickname which you would laugh off when people questioned. “We’re just friends” would echo through your mind every time that boundary felt as though it was shifting.
But if the nickname was so innocent why did it feel as though your heart was being ripped from your chest as the words. The quiet mumble of his voice, knowing he was on the other side of the planet while you’re here in the cold.
This wasn’t how friends felt about each other. Maybe you’d always known that, but you were just too afraid of what reality meant for you to face it. Too petrified by what a life without Carlos would look like if he didn’t feel the same.
You sat on the floor in your expensive dress as Carlos coaxed you from the ledge you felt you were sitting on. His soft tone burrowed deep into your soul, and a sense of calm flooded you.
Despite him clearly being exhausted, holding on to any slither of being awake to talk to you, he managed to rouse his consciousness. All because you'd called.
It was only when you finally left him, letting him get the sleep he so clearly craved, that you found your mind racing. You couldn't deny the feeling you felt anymore. But you sure would try.
…
Things changed after school. You went off to university, and your workload quickly increased, while Carlos flitted around the world, growing adoring fans everywhere he went.
You knew things wouldn't stay the same forever, and just a year after you had called him from your prom, he was slipping away from you rapidly.
Nightly calls shifted to weekly, then monthly. Soon, you heard from him sporadically usually in the middle of the night at whichever timezone he was in.
Quickly, the boy who you had grown up attached to, had turned into a man that you were beginning to not recognise.
You held on to the tethers of your friendship with every part of you. When you could, you would fly out and watch him play, organising your calendar carefully around the ATP tennis schedule.
Staying up late, texting him after a good game, calling him after bad ones. Sometimes he picked up, other times he didn't.
Then you saw her. The tall, drop dead gorgeous, must-be model draped off of Carlos' arm after one of the matches. His lips me there cheek in a video captured by a fan and you felt a pang of something you reluctantly recognised as burning jealously.
He had a girlfriend. A stunning, famous girlfriend. Who he hadn't told you about. It had been about a month since the two of you called, a five-minute conversation about the Spaniard's last tennis match.
He hadn't mentioned this girl then. Did that mean it was new, or just that he hadn't thought to tell you?
After seeing one photo on your phone, it was like you couldn't escape it. Every slide and swipe revealed more fan photos of Carlos, your Carlos, with this random girl.
You knew you were overreacting, he was 19 year old and one of the 'up and coming' tennis players. Of Course, he was going to find himself swarmed with beautiful women.
But the more you saw his hand around her waist or her hand draped across his chest. You couldn't help that the fire raged beneath your skin.
You reached for your phone desperately. The time was 8pm, and for once, Carlos was in a similar timezone, so you knew he should be awake. Your phone was ringing before you even had time to stop yourself. The phone rang mindlessly, and you waited.
After what felt like an eternity, you heard a gruff voice on the other end. "Y/N?" His questioning tone cut into you more than you'd like to admit.
Just 12 months ago he'd welcomed random calls, your nickname had fell so easily from him lips and you would slipped into conversation that harboured no specific topic.
But now, just you calling him had to have a reason. You sighed, "¿Tienes novia?" (Do you have a girlfriend?) He laughed, but you couldn't find it in you to find it funny.
"Que?" (what?) He was in disbelief. After being all over this girl on Instagram and twitter and every social media you opened, and HE was in disbelief. Over the girl he hadn't even deigned to tell you about.
"¿La chica? ¿por todo Instagram?" (The girl? All over Instagram?) your voice was lined with aggravation. You knew he could sense it as he paused, carefully thinking on where to step next.
His voice was quiet. "Ella no es nada. Ella es casual." (She's nothing; she's casual.) You scoffed,
¿Entonces ahora eres uno de esos tipos? (So now you're one of those guys?) Your words were laced with something vicious. You weren't mad at him. I mean, you were on the surface, but beneath that basic level of irritation, you were clearly mad at yourself.
While you had been sitting around waiting for Carlos to notice that you had been right there the entire like like an 80s rom-com, he had been forgetting you even existed, falling into some other woman's bed.
"Ah, de verdad Y/N" (Oh really, Y/N) He was annoyed, you weren't surprised. "No necesito esto de ti." (I don't need this from you)
Your blood boiled, your tone became increasingly sharp and distant from the soft mannered person Carlos knew so intimately.
"¿Y eso qué significa?" (And what does that mean?) You were acutely aware of every small sound coming from his side of the phone.
"¿Por qué te importa? No eres mi novia." (Why do you care? You're not my girlfriend.) It was like someone had thrown a bucket of ice-cold water over you, which pulled you back down to reality. Why did you care?
He was right. He owed you nothing. You weren't together, and he'd made it clear in every passing comment and mistake friends made. That he saw you only as a friend.
Meanwhile, you found yourself moving further past the point of no return with every interaction. Unable to hide the way you searched for his brown eyes in every crowd, even when you knew he wasn't there.
The way your heart raced with every phone call and you found yourself counting down the minutes till you would next see him. You were well and truly in love with your best friend and he had no idea.
His tone had cut into you, his soft demeanour replaced with a sharp and vicious manner. It hurt. Even beyond your newly realised feelings you had first and foremost been friends.
Sure, maybe in the last year, you had let the distance infiltrate the once disgustingly close relationship you two held. But you were still friends, and friends were supposed to tell each other things.
Your voice lost its edge, and the hurt manner came through, "Tienes razón. Pero se supone que somos amigos." (You're right, But we're supposed to be friends.)
You heard him call your name before your finger slid to the red button, but you didn't want to hear anything more.
You fell back onto your bed, your phone slipping to your side as you took a deep breath, desperate to clear the weight that felt like it had settled in your lungs.
Your eyes burn with tears, and you rub your hands harshly against your eyes, trying to displace the violent urge to cry. Your phone rang next to you, Carlos' goofy smile shining on your screen, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick it up.
…
It had been months. Without a single message, call or letter sent between you two. Carlos had been having the best season in his career so far, and you were trying to block that out.
For the first few weeks after the tense call, Carlos texted and called you daily. With profuse apologies and begging you to talk to him. But you stayed strong.
You needed space, not just to deal with your emotions from the argument but also to get over him. You couldn't be his friend when every glance he gave you made your heart race.
You still watched every match he played, shouting at the television for every slight misstep or mistake and cheering for every point won..
You couldn't help but wonder if maybe this was your destiny. Watching Carlos from the sidelines as he succeeded and outgrew you.
You had always assumed that you'd always be by his side, there to celebrate his success and wallow in his failure - it wouldn't matter if you were together.
But he had her now, and you had the hope of what could've been.
It came to a head at the US Open. Carlos had an incredible start to the tournament, breezing his way into the quarterfinals. You'd watched all the games from the comfort of your home and fought off the urge to message him daily.
Then he won the quarters. It was far from easy; Jannik Sinner had put up a fight, dragging Carlos into two tie breaks. You'd sat on the edge of your sofa, pleading to gods you didn't believe in for Carlos to win. When 'game, set, match' was called, you were flooded with relief.
Your parents called you the next day, announcing that they would be flying out to watch Carlos play and that you should be going too.
Your chest constricted at the thought, but you forced out, "Él no me quiere allí" (He doesn't want me there.) Your parents scoffed in disbelief at the current state of the relationship between you two.
"Sí, cariño. Probablemente seas la única persona que quiere allí." (Yes, he does, honey. You're probably the only person he wants there.) Your heart picked up at the idea of Carlos wanting you there. But you knew it wasn't in the way you wanted it.
If he wanted you there it was the same way it always was. As his childhood best friend, who he kept around because he always had and not because he couldn't imagine a world without you.
"No puedo ir, tengo clase." (I can't go I have class) You heard a sigh through the phone, but you wouldn't let your resolve crumble. You helped your parents pack and fielded more pleas to watch the match before they left to go to the airport.
You sat down in your silent living room inhabited by just the sound of the tennis commentary to watch Carlos' semi-final game. It was another grueling five-setter, with Carlos conceding tie breaks once again.
When the game had started, you felt solidified in your choice to stay home, but with every point won, you watched as Carlos' gaze flitted to his box, over the faces of his family and yours. He wasn't smiling and cheering; he was...looking or searching.
You mother knew you'd be sitting at home watching the game no matter how much you had pretended to move on. Which is why halfway through the match, she sent you a text that broke your heart.
Mama: "Te está buscando. Le preguntó a Virginia si vendrías antes del partido." (He's looking for you. He asked Virginia if you were coming before the match)
Carlos took the final point, confirming his place in a grand slam final and putting himself on the brink of making history. But he didn't celebrate as much as you'd expected.
His eyes watched his family, a smile beaming on his face, but as someone who knew Carlos intrinsically, you could see the way the smile didn't quite reach his eyes and the way he seemed deflated rather than on the top of the world like he should.
Your heart plumeted to your stomach. You wanted to be there, wrapped up in his arms, celebrating his achievements.
You wanted to stay up that night to discuss the grand slam title on the horizon and remind him that no matter what happened, the results wouldn't change how you felt.
Before you knew it, you were booking a flight. Even if Carlos didn't feel the same way and couldn't love you the way you loved him, this was bigger than that.
This was the same Carlos who was always there for you when it mattered, even with the distance that had grown between you. This was your way of fighting for him and the friendship that had seen you through your entire life.
...
You arrived at the stadium with nerves coarsing through you. Though you had told Carlos's family and yours that you were showing up so they could get the right passes for you - you'd kept it from Carlos himself.
The crowds swarmed towards the stadium, but you made your way towards the locker room where you knew Carlos would be getting ready.
You knocked on the door, and you heard the voice that had followed you for 19 years calling you into the room. He had his back to you, talking to Juan Carlos as he stretched out his hamstrings.
You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, clearing your throat as the nerves started to find you again. What if he didn't want you here?
"Alguien me dijo que tal vez necesitas algún apoyo extra. (Someone told me that maybe you need some extra support.) Carlos's head immediately snapped around to face you, getting out of stretches and closing the distance between you before you could process it.
His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him, burying his head into your neck. It was like coming home. The warmth that blossomed in your chest as you felt the Spaniard's stubble brush your neck.
Your arms slid around his neck, holding him close to you. One hand slid up to his head resting in his hair. He sighed against your neck, and you smiled as you whispered, "Lo siento, no vine antes." (Sorry I didn't come earlier.)
He shook his head against your neck, his voice coming out as a murmur, "Es todo culpa mía. Me alegra que estés aquí. No puedo hacer esto sin ti." (It's all my fault. I'm glad you're here. I can't do this without you.)
He pulled his head from your shoulder, his hands finding rest on the sides of your face. He rested his forehead against yours, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.
His touch burned your skin, every word sending shivers down your spine. "No quería hacerlo sin ti." (I didn't want to do this without you.)
You couldn't stop the words from leaving your mouth as Carlos's gaze bore down on you. "Te amo, más de lo que un amigo debería" (I love you, more than a friend should.)
Confusion darted through Carlos's face as he took in your words. His hands fell from your face, and you took a step back, your heart shattering at the look on the Spaniard's face.
He opened his mouth to speak, but you stopped him. You grabbed his hand and ran your thumb gently over his hand. "Ve a ganar y podremos hablar más trade." (Go win. We can talk later.)
He beamed at you, wrapping you up in a final hug that left you smiling. His lips met your cheek, and his mouth rested by your ear, "Nos vemos allí" (See you out there).
You nodded, fighting against the urge to move your head slightly and kiss the man who had plagued your mind for so long. Instead, you stepped back turning and headed toward the court.
You gave Carlos a final glance as you let the stress of the match begin to build.
The match was tense. You could feel the atmosphere drowning the crowd. The precipice of history being made calling.
Carlos played phenomenally. Every point was careful, precise and planned out. Casper Ruud never stood a chance. With every win, Carlos would turn to you, meet your eyes and cheer.
Your hands began to sweat and the nerves reached their peak in the final set. Every mistake moved you further the the edge of your seat but Carlos refused to lose.
One break and then the second, and before you knew it, it was a championship point. The crowd was silent. The tension was palpable, but as Carlos reached up for his serve, you felt a wave of calm rest over you.
He had it. You saw the gleam in his eye as he hit the ball, the grunt escaping his mouth with the hit. He darted across the court, each movement perfected.
Then it hit. The crowds screamed and Carlos fell to the floor. The screams rang in your ears as you watched him. He sobbed on the hard court, and your hand reached to your mouth.
It was only as your hand touched your cheeks that you noticed you were crying. The sight of Carlos blurring through the streaming haze of tears.
You felt his family and yours wrap their arms around you, bringing you back into the present. Looking back to the court, you could see the Spaniard beginning to climb through the audience towards you.
His mother by your side was whispering, "El lo hizo" (He did it.)
You grabbed her hand, laughing and smiling, and you spoke, "él realmente lo hizo" (He really did it). She wrapped you in a hug and told you how happy she was you were here and you couldn't help but agree.
You couldn't imagine not being there to celebrate this moment with Carlos. When you turned back to look for Carlos, he was climbing into the box, immediately being attacked by his team.
They cheered, and his shoulders shook with sob,s but he didn't stop moving. He found his family letting them shower him in praise but his gaze fixed on you.
He moved towards you, and your heart rate picked up. The look in his eyes was the same unidentifiable emotion you had seen before.
But before you had a moment to consider what it meant, Carlos's hands were on your face, connecting your lips.
You froze at first, shock radiating through you at the feelings of his lips on yours. But as Carlos went to pull away his hands slipping from your face, your hands found purchase on his neck pulling him closer.
You kissed him like he was oxygen, and you had forgotten how to breathe. The way his hand found your waist and the other slid into your hair.
The kiss was messy and desperate, but it was 19 years in the making, and you needed him like you needed water. The world around you disappeared as he pulled you impossibly closer to him.
It was out of a movie, like fireworks inside your chest and under the surface of your skin.
He groaned into your mouth but reluctantly pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, matching your deep breaths. His smile split across his face, and he sighed, "Por cierto, yo también te amo." (By the way, I love you too)
You laughed loudly, taking in the cheers from the audience around you and the unadulterated smiles from your family and his team around you.
You glanced at the screen to see you and Carlos projected on it, your cheeks immediately turning red at the realistation that everyone had seen that moment.
You turned back to Carlos, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, which elicited another cheer from the crowd. Your hand rested on his face, and you beamed, "Te amo campeón" (I love you, Champion).
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This got away from me a bit, actually. I'm sorry/you're welcome.
Kendrick made me realize that I am not a hater at my full potential. 2025 resolutions: hate more
TOUGH TIMES || JS
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summary: Jannik gets home from Doha after news of his ban comes out. He's not doing well, but when you get home, you're there to comfort him.
pairing: jannik sinner x fem!reader
warnings: Angst and fluff, it’s a bit sad but literally just mostly fluff.
a/n: I miss him already
MASTERLIST
You knew when you opened the door that something was off. Like something in the air of your apartment leaving a stiff tension in the room. You dropped your bag quietly by the door and moved into the space.
The lights were on which meant Jannik was home, yet he didn't appear at the sound of the door opening like he usually would.
"Jan? Are you home?" You could've sworn he'd arrived back from Doha earlier this morning and as you moved into the kitchen the sight of his phone on the counter was the clear sign that the Italian was about.
His phone was buzzing incessantly and you reached for it before quickly realising why his phone wouldn't stop making noise. A flood of notifications were streaming through, some positive and concerned but the majority were overwhelmingly negative.
With just a quick glance you read a slew of hateful comments, praying for Jannik's decline or a harsher punishment. A few players had messaged him, but they were a thin comfort when you saw how few had reached out.
You placed the phone back on the counter, clearing away the notification and switching it to silent first.
You looked for Jannik in the living room but there was no sign of the redhead anywhere and when you slowly opened the bedroom door it became apparent why.
The room was a mess, Jannik's suitcase was open with tennis kit strewn around the room. Not as if it had been pulled out of the bag but as if it had been purposely thrown. Your gaze moved from the mess on the floor to the figure lying in bed.
He had a blanket covering him but his red curls gave his presence away. His chest was softly rising and falling as he lay curled up, and you slowly moved to the side of the sleeping tennis player.
You bent down in front of Jannik catching the sight of his peacefully sleeping facade. Even asleep his eyes were noticeably puffy and the shadows under his eyes seemed darker than normal.
It was mid afternoon but the blinds were pulled half closed, moving the light from his face just to his torso.
You brushed his curls out of his face lightly, they immediately returned to their former place but your hand traced around to his cheek. You softly grazed your thumb across his cheek which caused the Italian to stir.
His voice cut through the air, raspy with sleep, "Amore mio?" (my love?)
"Hi honey." Jannik shuffled his body, moving his hand from under his pillow to find the side of your face. You leaned in giving the italian a soft kiss on his lips. "want me to get you anything?"
He shook his head lightly before burying his head back into his pillow. You ran your hands through his hair, causing him to groan softly.
"vieni a letto." (come to bed.) You laughed, running your hand down Jannik's back tracing circles down his spine.
"Let me just get some stuff and I'll be back okay." You gave him a kiss on the cheek before standing up, squeezing his hand before you left the room.
You quickly made your way to the kitchen, making two cups of tea and preparing an array of snack on a tray. Your eyes darted to his phone on the counter but you decided against bringing it with you. Instead adding a few books to the tray.
You headed back into your bedroom, placing the tray on your vanity while you changed into shorts and a comfy jumper. You began picking up some of Jannik's clothes on the floor, putting them away and sliding his tennis bag into the cupboard, out of sight.
Placing the tea by Jannik's bedside and put the tray on yours. You climbed into bed next to him. Jannik rolled over and sat up slightly, his sleep-worn eyes looking up at you caringly.
As you got yourself comfortable place pillows behind your back as a barrier between you and the headboard Jannik moved closer. He rested his head gently in your lap and your hand met his orange curls slowly twirling your finger through them.
His large hands moved to your bare legs as he settled, this thumb tracing lines up and down your thigh. You reached for the remote trying not to unsettle the Italian, switching on the tv which filled the room with a mindless buzz.
The tennis channel was always the first thing to appear on tv, an occupational hazard when you live with a tennis player. The echo of technical tennis chatter filled the silent room, and Jannik's name was called before you could switch the TV over to Netflix.
The feeling in the room shifted, the tension palpable as you rushed to get the reporters harping on Jannik's ban off the screen. His grip on your thigh subconsciously tightened, and when the channel finally switched, relief was clear.
You looked down at a mess of curls on your lap, pausing while Netflix loaded up. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, love, it's not your fault." His dejected tone cut into you. Jannik was usually so full of life and excited, but now he seemed like a shell of his former self. You brushed his hair out of his face so he could catch sight of you in his peripheral.
You moved both hands to the side of his face, cradling him like a ceramic doll that could break at any minute. "It's not your fault either."
He refused to meet your eyes trying to change his focus to the screen before him but he should've known you wouldn't give up.
"Jan, look at me please." Looking up at you, he shuffled slightly, "It's not your fault." His eyes softened and glistened slightly, you had no doubt that this situation had been weighing on him for the last few months.
But now, now that people were taking this ban as a sign of guilt Jannik was letting it destroy him. Ruining his perception of his own hard work and effort. He knew that now the court of public opinion would rip him to shreds and he wouldn't be able to say anything to change their minds.
"But everyone thinks it is." His quiet voice cut through the silence, Jannik tried to hide behind the nonchalant facade that people had assigned to him, but truthfully underneath that all he was struggling.
A tear fell from Jannik's eyes hitting your thigh, your thumb brushed it away and you bent down pressing a kiss you his forehead.
"You are not what they say about you, and in three months you'll get back on that court and prove it." He smiled slightly though it didn't reach his eyes,
You let your hand trail down the back of his neck, rubbing out the tension as your hand moved under his shirt and around his upper back. The tv buzzed with the show that you turned on in the background. Jannik's hand found yours, finding himself tracing shapes on the palm of your hand.
You sat in a comforting silence for a long time, peacefully enjoying each other's company outside of the world's noise. Jannik had been fighting against sleep for the last hour, his eyes fluttering closed with each blink growing heavier for the Italian.
When he drifted to sleep for the first time in months he was lulled into a peaceful rest, your hand along his back and in his hair and a constant reminder of your presence. Something that brought Jannik endless comfort during the constant noise in his mind.
Not long after Jannik fell asleep you moved yourself so you were lying more comfortably in bed, with Jannik's head on your chest and arms around your waist. You wrapped your arms around him and let sleep surround you.
...
When you woke up it was dark outside. The light from the tv filled the room and illuminated the absence of a certain red-headed Italian.
The sheets were a mess, and the air that hit your body was chilling. You got up from bed, your bare feet padding across the cold wood floors as you made your way into the kitchen.
You knew something was wrong when you clocked that Jannik's phone was missing from the spot on the counter where you had left it.
The kitchen was shrouded in darkness but the lights from the city outside caught your gaze. When you were observing the skyscrapers your eyes flitted to a figure sitting on the floor of the balcony, the light from his phone illuminating his face.
Your heart churned at the sight of the soft sobs you could see racking through his body, his shoulders shaking with each sob.
You moved towards the balcony, sliding the door open and stepping out into the cold. Jannik's head snapped to you, but he couldn't hold back the tears as he saw your concerned expression.
You sat on the floor beside him your hands reaching for the phone he held so tightly in his grasp. You glanced at the screen, a compilation of tweets from his fellow players discussing how detrimental Jannik's actions were to the sport.
You wasted no time turning the phone off and putting it to the side. Taking Jannik's hands in yours you kissed his palms. "Why are you reading that nonsense?"
His tear-filled eyes looked to the floor. "This is what they think of me. That's never going to change." He tried to wipe his tears but the actions seemed futile when the tears continued.
Your hands wrapped around his neck pulling him into a hug, his hands found your waist and his head buried itself in the crook of your neck.
"All this has done, is show you who really cares about you. Now next time you beat those assholes you don't need to feel bad." He laughed slightly and his hands gripped your waist tighter.
"I love you and so do so many people, and they'll be waiting for you when you come back my love." your hand slid into the hair at the back of his head, nails scratching the surface trying to bring him comfort.
"What if I'm not as good when I come back?" His broken voice felt like a stab to your heart.
"You're going to spend the next three months training, there's no way you won't go back at the top of your game." Your waist was set alight by his touch as his hands found their way under your shirt.
"Even if you were the worst tennis player ever, I'd still be here by your side." He laughed into your neck, kissing it gently.
"Ti amo." (I love you) He pulled his head out of the crook of your neck and slid his hand up to his face. He leaned in capturing your lips with his, the soft kiss sending warmth flooding throughout your body.
"I love you too."
Am I working on a Carlos childhood friends to lovers fic…..maybeeeeee
THE DEAL || CA
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pt. 2, (previous part)
summary: Carlos hated having a PR manager, especially one who was his age. Convincing her to leave was the best plan he'd ever had, but what happens when he realises he doesn't want her to go?
pairing: carlos alcaraz x fem!reader
warning: diabolical tension
a/n: this is kind of all over the place because I’m trying to build up enough foundation before the tournament starts. I hope you like it (please tell me how much you like it, I need validation)
MASTERLIST
You sat in an uncomfortable silence typing away on your laptop. In your peripheral, you could see the Spaniard slowly moving to lie down on the sofa from his seated position.
"Don't fall asleep." A frustrated grunt came from Carlos as he repositioned himself slightly resting his head against the back of the sofa.
"Okay and if they ask you about potentially facing Djokovic?" Your eyes watched the screen intently scanning the prospective questions on your laptop.
"I tell them I've beaten him before and I believe I can again, especially with my new serve and resetting over the break." His tone was dull and his eyes watched the ceiling.
"Perfect, any questions about the back end of last season or concentration just try to redirect and talk about the work you've been doing over the break." Carlos nodded, scrutinising you're every movement with his gaze.
You wrote down notes that you could send Carlos on everything you'd been discussing. You leaned back against the sofa, gently falling into the cushions as you moved to sit cross-legged.
Carlos' eyes observed you as you intently stared at the screen, "D'you get bored doing this?" Your eyes flitted to the Spaniard briefly for the first time since you began going over questions,
"What do you mean?" You returned to doing work, shaking your head at the silly question as you watched the time in the corner of your screen tick by.
You were desperate to get this done so you could return to your room and sleep, doing your best to ignore the looming tension of the deal you had earlier agreed to.
"I get bored at you asking me questions, and I'm the player. Don't you get bored of writing up answers and managing my media presence?" You paused briefly, the condescending tone grating on you. You met the brown eyes that hadn't left your frame.
"I love my job, I get to see behind the sports in a way no one else does. Plus I'm good at it." He looked sceptically,
"I'd rather play." You shook your head in amusement, finishing up the final question.
"Unfortunately we can't all be professional tennis players Alcaraz." He smirked at your response, getting up off the sofa and heading to the kitchen area.
You emailed the Spaniard the work you'd done the evening, finally closing your laptop and letting relief flood your body.
"Luckily for you, we're done for the evening. I'd like some pyjamas and then I'll get out of your way." You stood up moving slightly towards the door, begging to leave the company of the man who held you with such contempt.
"Gracias a Dios" (Thank god) His thankful tone stung slightly, envying the time when your clients enjoyed your company, and you'd stay long after the work was done due to the friendships you had founded.
He disappeared down the corridor and you stood by the door awkwardly. The night had ended up being the easiest day you'd had since you started, and all it took was promising Carlos you'd quit.
You knew the next issue would be telling his team and Juan Carlos would no doubt try to convince you to stay. But the thought of enjoying your job again loomed in the back of your mind and pushed you forward.
Just over two weeks. That's all you had to get through and now with Carlos actually cooperating it should've been simpler.
You checked the time and the massive 00:00 glared at you on the screen. It was a busy day tomorrow that involved you waking up with the sun and the dream of a full eight hours sleep has slipped from your grasp.
Just as you began to mentally plan for the content and work you needed to do tomorrow, Carlos reappeared his 6-foot stature looming over you.
"I don’t have pyjamas, so this is just some joggers and a t-shirt." He handed you the clothing, his hand brushing yours which jolted through your nervous system. In the last six hours, you'd been closer to the Spaniard in the entirety of your time working for him.
You avoided the brown eyes looking down at you, taking the items and moving towards the door. "That should be fine."
You walked to the door, reaching for the handle and standing in the open doorway. Just before stepping out into the hallway, you turned to face the Spaniard, shooting him a small smile that he didn't return.
"See you tomorrow Alcaraz." He nodded and the door closed in front of you.
Defeated you trudged back to your room, slipping into the far too big-for-you shirt and joggers that the Spaniard had lent you. They were bathed in his cologne and the musky scent filled your nostrils as you climbed into bed.
As you lay there waiting for sleep to hit you, you thought of what this job would've been like had Carlos not hated you from the outset.
Watching him play was magnificent and you wanted to be a part of the team that helped him achieve greatness, not to mention his Spanish charm had won over so many.
Every cold glance he gave you cut deeper and as you drifted off to sleep you were haunted by the way he had looked at you the first time you met.
...
The sun beat down on the outdoor courts. You watched Alcaraz move diligently from edge to edge of the light blue tarmac. The heat permeated through your body as the light summer dress you wore did nothing to alleviate the temperature.
You gaze fixated on the Spaniard's taut muscles and how he slid to seemingly effortlessly receive the ball. You had your phone up, taking photos and videos to go on Instagram later, but really you found yourself distracted by each noise that left his lips.
Your sunglasses rested lazily on the edge of your nose, and as Carlos' arms hit the ball over and over, your eyes watched his biceps carefully.
You understood why he had a flock of women watching his every move, his physique and tennis ability pulling so many in. Then there was his annoying smile.
The ball hit Juanki's torso with Carlos letting out a loud laugh that echoes through your mind. Carlos looked to his team who also laughed over the moment and his eyes flickered to you.
When he saw that your eyes were already on him, he smirked. A smug look took over his face and he shot you a wink, your face turned red and you quickly moved your gaze back to your phone.
You sent the photo to Carlos and picked up your bag, heading onto the court.
"Alcaraz, interview time let's get going." The clock was ticking down and media day was calling, with Alcaraz lined up for a fairly full day of pre-tournament interviews.
"cinco minutos más." (five more minutes.) The Spaniard called to you calmly as he continued hitting the ball back and forth across the court.
"Alcaraz. Now. We're already late." Carlos rolled his eyes, Juan Carlos telling him to go. The Spaniard headed towards you, the smile long gone replaced with his usual grimace.
"Disfruta la vista allá atrás" (Enjoy the view back there?) he taunted, his large hands reaching down to grab his tennis bag that was by your feet.
While he bent down to grab the bag, he brushed your side, your breath catching in your throat as you felt his arms brush yours. Then leaning into your ear as he stood back up. "You were blushing."
"I was doing my job, you know, filming content for you. Plus it's hot out here, I was just flushed." Your tone stood strong, but your eyes were telling a different story. Your body was covered in goosebumps, the bench behind you stopping you from stepping away.
He finally took a step away, which allowed your shoulders to fall in ease. He began to walk off with the same smug look as before back on his face, "¿No tenemos una entrevista a la que llegar?" (Don't we have an interview to get to?)
You shook your head, annoyance for the man filling your body. Not only was he being difficult, but now he'd resorted to teasing and taunting which was somehow worse than his angry indifference.
You turned to face Juanki as you began walking off the court behind Alcaraz, mouthing 'I'm going to kill him' which elicited a laugh from the coach.
"Have fun you two!" He called out and was met with two frustrated groans. Carlos stood at the exit waiting for you to catch up and began trudging behind you.
Walking through the grounds, he smiled, waved, and took pictures with the multitude of fans who spotted him. You'd silently stand to the side or offer to take the photo when needed.
The consistent stopping slowed you down, but you didn't mind when you saw the giddy smile of every fan's face as they met with Carlos' warm demeanour.
You eventually made it to the conference room. Before stepping into the room, you grabbed Carlos' arm, pulling him out of the doorway. He turned to face you, his eyes analysing your fingers wrapped around his bicep.
As his gaze focused on your hand, you pulled away as if his skin had burned you. "Sorry. I just wanted to remind you of everything we went over. This is just pre-tournament chatter so you should be okay."
"I've got it. Why won't you just let me do it." His tone was sharp and you rolled your eyes, your arms crossing in front of your chest in annoyance.
"It's not that I think you can't do it, I just want to help." Carlos took a step back from you, scoffing at your plea.
"Well I don't need your help." He left your side, walking into the room before you had a chance to respond. You threw your hands up in pure frustration, but the Spaniard had his back to you so the action was mostly for yourself.
You moved inside the room and sat down in the front row, ready to take notes.
The questions started light and easy, talking about the Spaniards off-season, the changes to his serve, the added weight in his racket. He answered the questions diligently, following everything you'd been through the night before.
You couldn't help but smile as he answered perfectly time and time again, showing you how easy this job could've been and subsequently how needlessly painful the Spaniard had been making it.
But then it fell apart. The questions began to get more pointed. More trying, asking him about losing to Jannik, losing to players outside the top 20, another year of struggles at the US Open. Then the straw that broke the camel's back came.
"So Carlos, your performance declined rapidly at the back end of last year, especially after your loss to Novak in the Olympics. How does that affect your mentality coming into Australia knowing you could face him?"
Shit. You knew you'd prepared Carlos for the question but you also knew how painful the Olympics loss had been. You knew how he was dreading facing Novak and you knew by the look in his eye that he was caught off guard by the question.
Your breath shallowed while you tried to stay calm as he sat there looking from the interviewer to you, the unease clearly written on his features.
"Um." He paused, he caught your gaze and you tried to send him a reassuring look. He looked down to his hands, lifting his head to meet the interviewers' gaze.
"I think to say my performance declined rapidly is stupid." Shit. Your head fell into your hands and you held back an audible groan. Some in the press conference laughed but Carlos didn't join in.
"I also beat Novak at Wimbledon, so maybe he should be the one scared to face me, no?" The room fell into a tense silence. The stone cold look on Carlos' face put off any follow up questions.
Carlos stood up, his demeanour clearly agitated, ringing his hands at his sides. He left the room and didn't slow down for you like he usually did. You quickly left, thanking the interviewers and apologising for Carlos before you rushed after him.
"Alcaraz, wait!" He didn't turn around, instead turning a corner and disappearing out of sight. You turned the corner and found him resting against the wall, shoulders slumped and hands covering his face.
"What was that?!" You stood in front of him and he pulled his hands from his face.
"Oh come on Y/N, He was out of line!" Carlos raised his voice in frustration, a clear sign of how much the interviewer had got to him.
"And we had prepared answers, you didn't need to be an asshole about it." You rested on the other side of the hallway, your annoyed facade matching the Spaniard's.
"You have no idea what it's like to sit there and have everything you do, questions and torn apart." Carlos stood up straight, closing the distance between you with his angry ranting.
"Maybe I don’t, but I do know what it's like to have to deal with you being an asshole." His face was mere metres from yours. Your hands moved to rest on his chest as he moved his mouth down to your ear.
"Then it's a good thing you won't have to for much longer, isn't it?" His spiteful tone sent a cold chill down your spine as his hand slid to your waist.
"Counting down the days Alcaraz." His breath hit your neck and you snapped, pushing away the tennis player's large figure. He had a smirk on his face as he stumbled back slightly.
You moved away from him, turning away from him quickly and storming away from the interaction. Your heart was racing and your chest was pounding, unable to sense if it was blinding rage or maybe something else.
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taglist: @kcharlyy @champagnecoastca
Carlos’ face when they mention Juan Carlos hadn’t managed to win this tournament 😂