Ch👏

Transylvania, Romania

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

Knives! Get your Knives here for no particular reason!

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

Get em while they're cold, get em while they're sharp!

Special discount if your name is Brutus for no reason in particular!

You Are Odysseus

So

I’m a teacher of Classical Civilisation that has taught the Odyssey for over a decade and studied pretty much every myth and story with Odysseus in it.. I think

and I’m writing an Interactive Fiction (choose your own path) version of the Odyssey, inspired by the Homeric phrase “he turned his great heart this way and that”, where you are Odysseus, allowing you to follow his decisions or make your own

and it already has 400 sections to it - written to emulate modern translations of the Odyssey, including the literary features of simile, formula, epithet, and the rest - and 21 different ways to die, and quite a lot of period and theme-appropriate alternatives

(and if I get time, the option to be Telemachus or Penelope, although that might have to wait because it’s already a monster)

and I’ve tested what I’ve made so far on my pupils, other Classics teachers, and some of the leading (and best-read) Greek Mythology podcasters and YouTubers, all of whom have universally loved it (yay!)

(EDIT: Oops and I presented on it at the Classical Association conference last year)

I’m trying to finish it this summer, but need a bit of encouragement to do so

EDIT: and I forgot to say that ideally I’m planning on it being a beautiful BOOK with an old-fashioned cover and lots of ribbons to mark your place ❤️ (ex-bookseller ofc)

so, please let me know if you’d like to know more!

(EDIT: or sign up here go get notified directly when it’s ready: https://ljenkinsonbrown.wordpress.com/you-are-odysseus-signup/ )

If Jedi had TikTok

So I was imagining a TikTok trend that would basically just be the Jedi/Padawans looking all presentable and perfectly Jedi perfect ™ saying “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” and then immediately cutting to whatever chaos they are currently engaged in, for example:

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Qui Gon says, immediately before being shown adopting another ‘pathetic life form’ that may will cause them trouble later

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Obi Wan says, before decapitating a battle droid behind him without even looking at it

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Anakin says, as he replaces all of Windu’s regular caff with decaf

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Ashoka says, as she helps Fives and Hardcase balance a bucket of glitter above Rex’s doorway

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Plo says, as he forces encourages C3-PO to tell Wolffe his latest tales of woe™ and R2 drama

• “Jedi, we are; keepers of the peace, our responsibility is.” Yoda says, before telling several younglings that if they keep copying the Temple Guards they’ll freeze and get stuck that way

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Quinlan says, then just… you know, exists how he does

• “We’re Jedi, we’re impartial peacekeepers” Plo Koon says, sprinkling ‘How to Unionize’ pamphlets around the barracks like confetti

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Obi Wan says, before arguing politely engaging with every political figure in the room just for the heck of it

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Leia says, before teasing the man breaking her out of a literal cell in the middle of space about his height

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Luke says, before replacing Han’s hair gel with glue

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Kanan says, calmly to the camera, before proceeding to promptly turn around and scream “SHUT THE KRIFF UP I SWEAR TO FORCE I WILL MURDER YOU ALL IF YOU DONT GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW”

• “We’re Jedi, we’re peacekeepers” Ezra says, as he sprints away from Zeb who is quite suddenly and mysteriously COVERED in hair dye (thanks, Sabine!)

Stray cat breaks into Lynx’s enclosure at zoo

(Source)

Uno Reverse

Constantine is breaking up another summoning, and it is...not going well.

They summoned a being from the Infinite Realms.

Said being is trying to break it's containment.

Constantine was hit with what was supposed to be a life-ending spell, only to wake up to the barrier beginning to crack.

He feels weird, he's smaller than he should be (probably deaged fuck), and fuck it all he's scared.

But the noise that comes out of his mouth is not a scream.

It's a chirp.

High and warbling, and the Infinite Realms being, covered in purple fire and black armor, freezes upon hearing it.

"You dare to kidnap one of our young?! The High King will have your heads!" And with that noble declaration, the terrifying spirit retreats back into the Infinite Realms.

The cultists look terrified.

John is still terrified, but also confused.

Basically, with how often John's in contact with death and magic, and how often he damages his soul, with the hit of a lethal spell his own magic sought to protect him by merging his soul with his physical body.

Constantine becomes a halfa.

Due to how little of his soul was left, his ghost form looks six.

Fright Knight sees a genuine baby ghost, not even an hour old, sprawled on the ground and crying for help.

Now John has to figure out what he is, why he's jumping between adult and child forms, what his weird new magic is, and how to stop a war with the Infinite Realms.

just got fired from my government job… apparently they can control the weather with space lasers now so they don’t need me to stand on a dark tower and chant in a big bellowing voice to summon clouds and winds of fear and frost