Just Got Fired From My Government Job… Apparently They Can Control The Weather With Space Lasers Now

criminal profiling is just astrology for cops

Uno Reverse

Constantine is breaking up another summoning, and it is...not going well.

They summoned a being from the Infinite Realms.

Said being is trying to break it's containment.

Constantine was hit with what was supposed to be a life-ending spell, only to wake up to the barrier beginning to crack.

He feels weird, he's smaller than he should be (probably deaged fuck), and fuck it all he's scared.

But the noise that comes out of his mouth is not a scream.

It's a chirp.

High and warbling, and the Infinite Realms being, covered in purple fire and black armor, freezes upon hearing it.

"You dare to kidnap one of our young?! The High King will have your heads!" And with that noble declaration, the terrifying spirit retreats back into the Infinite Realms.

The cultists look terrified.

John is still terrified, but also confused.

Basically, with how often John's in contact with death and magic, and how often he damages his soul, with the hit of a lethal spell his own magic sought to protect him by merging his soul with his physical body.

Constantine becomes a halfa.

Due to how little of his soul was left, his ghost form looks six.

Fright Knight sees a genuine baby ghost, not even an hour old, sprawled on the ground and crying for help.

Now John has to figure out what he is, why he's jumping between adult and child forms, what his weird new magic is, and how to stop a war with the Infinite Realms.

I hate when people ask me about my preference but I don’t understand their preference level. Like yes I kinda want Chinese food 10% more than I want a sandwich but if you want a sandwich like 40% more than Chinese food then I would say it’s totally reasonable we get sandwiches.

I had a vision

oh yeah, with the new size limit for .gifs this thing can finally be posted

I will genuinely never forgive anyone involved in making The Imitation Game for their absolute travesty of Alan Turing’s story.

He was intensely autistic, and gay, and *kind*.

He mentored people below him in the programme - including women, who pretty much everyone else was crappy to.

He had terrible allergies and went cycling in a gas mask in the country to avoid then, and when he got overstimulated at parties he pulled incredibly daft elaborate “walking into a cupboard” leaving gags to handle them that left everyone screaming on the floor despite the silliness.

He got on really well with kids and never talked down to them. He gave his neighbours his sugar rations on their kids’ birthdays so she could always make them birthday cakes - even when he was being persecuted after the war, even when he was suffering horrible side effects from the tortures they put him through.

He was such an utterly, genuinely lovely human being, and he deserved so much damn better, and at the very *least* he deserved to be portrayed as who he was in the 21st fucking century instead of falling into a whole slew of horrifically harmful stereotypes that erased the fucking gift he was to us all over again.

not now mom i’m wasting my life on a website the entire internet believes to be dead

Pterocarpus Angolensis is a tree native to South Africa. It’s also commonly known as the bloodwood tree due to the fact that when it’s chopped or damaged, a deep red sap which looks eerily similar to blood, seeps from the tree. In fact, the purpose of the sap is to coagulate and seal the wound to promote healing, much like blood.

Is this an insult or a compliment?????? @leshromsilly

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Thank you for tagging @chrisoels

Tagging if you like to: @figuringthengsout , @ka1imba , @kayrielwrites , @msblueberrybi

hey wait! i know you! we used to be chained next to each other in the cave! wow, so good to see you, how are ya? man. remember how we used to talk about the shadows on the wall together. gosh that was a long time ago. but hey. sure is one heck of a sun out here, right? it's good to see you.