Timetobetraumatised - TimeToBeTraumatised

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.

tennis balls are just limes that failed their exams

Changing my belief system from "this is the hill I'll die on" to "this is the hill I'll kill you on" has done absolute wonders for me 10/10 do recommend

Ruins of Roman Emperor Nero's 'Theatre' Unearthed in Rome

Archaeologists in Rome think they may have found Nero's theater during a hotel excavation.

Archaeologists in Rome think they may have found the ruins of Nero's theater, a first-century imperial performance space that was widely described in ancient Roman texts but whose whereabouts had remained largely elusive.

The theater is named after Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, who served as Roman emperor from A.D. 54 to his death in 68. Officials are calling the discovery of the theater, located just east of Vatican City, "exceptional." It was likely where Nero rehearsed poetry and put on musical performances, according to ABC News.

More than a millennium after his death, Nero remains one of ancient Rome's most infamous rulers, accused of playing his fiddle while the city burned to the ground during an epic fire. While much has been written about the atrocities and poor governance that occurred under his leadership — he allegedly killed his own mother and two wives and lavishly and indulgently spent Rome's money — he's also remembered as a lover of music and the arts, leading him to offer public performances at his theater, an act that the elite usually didn't partake in. He was particularly fond of playing the cithara, a portable harp-like instrument with seven strings.

But when the powerful Praetorian Guard, the force in charge of protecting the emperor, withdrew their support of him, he reportedly took his own life, uttering "what an artist dies in me!"

Researchers unearthed a variety of artifacts scattered among the building's ruins. These included seven ornate medieval glass chalices, segments of bone used to carve out rosary beads, clay pots and urns, cooking vessels for baking bread, coins, combs constructed out of bone and numerous pieces of musical instruments. As for the remaining architectural elements of the theater itself, archaeologists unearthed marble columns and plaster decorated in gold leaf, according to ABC News.

"It is a superb dig, one that every archaeologist dreams of," Marzia Di Mento, the site's chief archaeologist, told reporters during a news conference, according to ABC News. "Being able to dig in this built-up, historically rich area is so rare."

The discovery came about as construction crews were working on reconfiguring Palazzo Della Rovere, a medieval palace, into a new luxury hotel, and was found buried beneath the structure's walled garden, according to The Associated Press.

Artifacts from the excavation will be put on display and added to a "city-run public databank to add to the wealth of information gathered over the years on life in Rome throughout the centuries," according to ABC News.

Archaeologists plan to rebury the theater once excavations wrap up.

By Jennifer Nalewicki.

hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

So I’m rewatching 3rd Life but this time Martyn’s POV and it’s KILLING ME how Desertduo in their own POV are like just some dudes wrecking a bit of chaos but in Martyn’s POV they look like some kind of evil codependent couple that are weird and live in far away lands that no one should enter.

And honestly I feel like Martyn’s POV is closer to the truth than Grian and Scar’s own POV

it's me and my caffeinated drink against the world