Afraid

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8684596/chapters/19953472#workskin

Does anybody even care anymore are have they finally given up on me for good I don't know all I know is that I can't keep hiding my emotions like this, it's tearing me apart it's like every time something happens I'm forced to pretend like it didn't I'm sick of it, I just wanna feel normal, I just wanna live a normal life, I don't want to be the girl who everybody looks at and says " why is she always alone? Why does she just sit in a corner and not talk to anybody" I don't wanna be that girl, but I am Always alone, and I will always be alone I just wish somebody would come up to me and say "are you ok" all I want is somebody to care about me and ask me am I ok, do I need help? I just wish I wasn't too afraid to talk to somebody, to talk to my friends, to talk to my sister to talk to anybody but I'm too afraid I'm afraid that they'll see me differently. I'm afraid that those see you who I really am. A weak little girl, who tries to act tough and act like nothing gets to her, who tries to be strong and pretend like she's always happy like nothing can get her down but I'm not always happy. Actually, I'm rarely happy I guess that's why I am afraid I've been hiding for so long in a way I don't even know who I really am so to let others see me the real me, it's terrifying I don't know how they will react to see all of my scars all I know the floodgates are gonna open one way or another and it would be best if I were to tell them myself before they found out by themselves

Alone

I would like to start off by saying I will be using an anonymous name and I will not give out any personal details about my life as I would like to stay anonymous now, with that out of the way, I have a few things I would like to tell you, and I do hope that you listen to what I have to say as nobody else will I always feel so alone like nobody cares about me... Why would they I'm useless I'm a disgrace why would anybody care about me? I'm just a lost girl trying to find someplace to call home. Why would anybody care about me? I'm just don't ever face in the crowd I may blend in but only with a mask on everyday I have to force myself to smile. I may look happy, but I'm not I'm just to scared to tell you how I really feel maybe that's my problem, I don't tell anybody how I feel not really at least A few days ago, my parents were fighting and I couldn't take it anymore I just couldn't so I texted one of my friends, his parents split about a year ago I just needed to talk to someone at this point I could care less about my parents fighting. I was just scared, scared that he would see the real me and that I would lose one of my friends because of that I make a point to try and look perfect in front of everyone especially my friends I don't cry and I sure as hell don't show weakness Or emotion this was the first time I could remember actually opening up to my friends about something that was on my mind it was terrifying it didn't seem to faze him, he was so calm and collected, and he don't seem to care about how much of a mess I was how I was not perfect he didn't care and this has had me thinking maybe I don't have to be perfect all the time maybe I should open up to my friends about how I feel.... Maybe I don't have to be alone anymore