Personally, I Don’t Really See Anything Wrong With Giving Luke To Uncle Owen And Aunt Beru. What Else

Personally, I don’t really see anything wrong with giving Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. What else was Obi-Wan gonna do? (He pretty much raised Anakin and look how that turned out, he’s not gonna risk Round 2.) (He could have given both kiddos to Bail and Breha Organa, actually. Luke and Leia Organa is a cool as heck AU.)

I like Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. As much as people like to say Luke really is Padme’s son, he didn’t get those morals from her. (Keeping in mind I have read no comics or novelizations, and not seen the Clone Wars TV show) It’s pretty clear that Luke’s iron spine and goodness and refusal to abandon his friends come from his upbringing. Owen and Beru Lars are kinda the Ma and Pa Kent of the Star Wars universe.

And they are Luke’s family. Owen is Shmi’s stepson. Owen and Beru probably knew Anakin’s mother for years. It’s a neat circle, and in some ways it has the feelings of an apology, for Obi-Wan to bring Luke back to his family on Tatooine in the same way that Qui-Gon took Anakin. Obi-Wan can’t undo what’s been done, and he can’t start over, but he can give Luke what the Jedi denied Anakin: a loving family and normal upbringing.

Tatooine is Darth Vader’s home planet? Yeah, sure, but did Anakin ever go back to Tatooine? (Probably once or twice, I’m guessing, in the comics at least.) Darth Vader hates that place. Bad memories. Damn sand would fuck up his suit. He’d burn it all down and then the Hutts are gonna be pissed. And how many people actually know that Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker? Like, about five? (Bail, Obi-Wan, Yoda, R2-D2, and Ahsoka?) Dude is not exactly getting invites to school reunions and the weddings of childhood friends, is all I’m saying.

Even if Darth Vader ever went back to Tatooine, Tatooine is a big place. The Lars Farm is in the middle of nowhere and Obi-Wan is hanging out left of the funky rock five miles past nowhere. Anakin met his stepbrother once in the entire film trilogy and idk if they even exchanged words, much less space e-mail addresses. I kind of doubt that Uncle Owen and Darth Vader are sending each other Life Day e-cards. (That’s really funny, actually.)

Anyway, the point of this rant is that I want you to imagine new parents Owen and Beru Lars caring for toddler Luke, it’s just after Life Day, and someone rings the doorbell. Owen Lars opens up to Darth Vader holding a fruit basket, because he didn’t know what else to do for Life Day and spontaneously decided to visit distant family rather than mope in his Evil Castle again.

(Everything Obi-Wan hoped would never happen, just… happening.)

Owen, after introductions, panicking, “Uh… the suit is… new.”

He has to invite Vader in, because it’s Life Day and how exactly do you tell Darth Vader to fuck off? Then Owen and Beru have a hushed argument in the kitchen while Darth Vader is sitting awkwardly in their living room with a drink that he can’t actually drink but took to be polite. When they come out, they introduce Luke as Luke Whitesun, Beru’s late brother’s kid, which they guess makes Luke… Darth Vader’s… nephew. (They can’t hide him, Vader’s already seen this 2-3 yr old Luke and the house is COVERED in baby and kid stuff.)

And Darth Vader just… fucking falls for it.

And the Lars family has to spend the holidays with Uncle Darth Vader who is super keen to have a step-nephew-in-law. Beru is showing off her cross-stitching to Darth fucking Vader as Luke plays at their feet. Owen is in the kitchen sending a desperate space text to Obi-Wan, who basically has a heart attack on the spot when Owen sends a shitty stealth-pic of Darth Vader on their couch.

Bonus points if the Lars’ don’t even move after this, because Vader left without issue and Uncle Owen afterwards was like, “It turned out fine. I don’t want to move, that’s too much hassle.” So, every major holiday, Luke gets a visit from his Uncle Darth Vader, which works out fine so long as they instigate a “Don’t Talk About Politics” rule when Luke starts getting excited about Rebellions and starts bad-mouthing the Empire (Vader making small talk at a Star Destroyer water cooler to his terrified staff: “Ugh, I’m going to have to debate my liberal 13-yr-old nephew at the dinner table again.”), and Vader even helps with the dishes and stuff, and every time Obi-Wan ages an extra year from stress.

Headcanon that Bruce’s children take over the world after he retires.

Dick marries Kori and becomes the king of Tamaran. He leads the efforts in terraforming Venus to become “New Tamaran.” Thus bringing together Human and Tamaranian in what many are calling a “new golden age.” However he is nowhere near as famous as his daughter, Princess Mar'i Grayson, whom the media quite absolutely adores. His story arc would focus on fighting off Anti-Tamaranian terrorists and dealing with race relations in the media.

Jason rules over an immense Yakuza-esque criminal syndicate that punishes the worst of the worst. His relationship with the others is strained but they all still love him. His story arc would center around coming to terms with himself and Bruce after rescuing Duke Thomas off the streets and taking him on as his ward.

Tim takes over the mantel of Batman alongside Cass (focusing mainly on Justice League affairs) as well as Wayne Enterprises, growing the company to twice it’s former glory. His story arc mainly revolves around him dealing with corporate espionage and struggling to fill Bruce’s Legacy on the world stage.

Cass takes over the mantel of Batman (focusing mainly on Gotham) and creates a world class charity that helps those in need around the world. Her story arc revolves around her learning to become a mentor for Helena and dealing with everything that goes on in Gotham.

Damian becomes the leader of the League of Assassins, turning those who follow him into a force for good. Not all of the league follows him though and he remains at war with them in the shadows: “The Right Hand of the Demon.” His story arc would center around him coming to terms with his identity amidst the mess that his Grandfather had created.

Helena becomes Robin under Cass and still has yet to grow to her full potential. The hungry media gobbles up any information they can get their hands on, all speculating what the next “Wayne Wonderchild” will go on to accomplish. Her arc would center around trying to step out from Cass and her father’s shadow and go out on her own to try and be her own hero eventually leading to the reformation of the Teen Titans.

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Idk what the rest of the Batfam would be doing but I do know that Barbara would eventually become the President of the United States.

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