People Who Claim That They Are “entitled to Their Opinion” Often Fail To Remember That That Rule

Am I the only one who only cries at happy things and not at sad things????

Like I never tear up when a beloved character dies, but if that same character says something about believing in their found family or some shit I’m broken for the next week.

Fuck tragic character death or trauma I only cry when everyone in Lego Movie 2 starts singing together about how they won’t give up when they’re stuck in the Bin of Storajj.

soup but you replace the soup with ketchup

I sleep with lots of pillows and blankies to compensate for my cold, dead heart.

in the mood to write poetry in a notebook while holding a ball python in my left hand.

holy shit more like

divine doodoo

2 days into 2020 and y’all I wholeheartedly believe that 2050 is gonna be my year cause if god hasn’t clapped my metaphysical cheeks by then I must be doin good

science: Lonelier people take hotter baths/showers in order to compensate for their lack of ‘social warmth’.

me, already with my left leg submerged in a McDonald’s fry cooker: you’re fucken WRONG I am perfectly CONTENT 

As someone who likes using the internet it’s easy to find stories and drama from fandoms and stuff that are really interesting but I will never bring them up out of the fear of evoking said fandom’s wrath or just being in eye shot of them

I am funny man