Redesigned The Disney Fairies This Time ((: Gonna Do The Book Ones Next

today a fascist won an election for the first time since 1933. here, in germany.

i don't care if it's just one (out of 16) states. björn höcke is a fascist. a court decided not long ago that it's allowed to call him a nazi. bc he is one. not "far right" or "conservative" - he is a nazi.

here. in germany. and he just won an election.

it hasn't even been 100 years.

i am scared.

obsessed with mass market paperbacks. their pleasing rectangular proportions. how they fit badly in a hoodie pocket so you can drag them around everywhere with you like a temporary little buddy. the way they fit in your hand because they're MADE for human hands and not as bookshelf decoration. the way the pages feel when you riffle them gently with your thumb. How pristine and crisp they look when you get them and how creased and folded they look when you're done, even if you try to be nice to them. how that wear is okay, how that's correct actually, because they're made with the philosophy that books aren't meant to be PRETTY, they're meant to be read. that little ripple new ones get on the left side from where you hold them when you're reading, the way the ripple only goes as far as you've read, because u change stories by reading as they are changing you. how you can find thousands of these creased and folded and loved little dudes in every thrift store and used book shop and neighborhood library and you can instantly see the ones that someone carried around in a backpack for weeks or read to pieces or gave up on halfway through because they wear being read like fresh snow wears footprints. I love these poorly made, subpar little rectangles so much. truly the people's books.

the devil’s whispers:

you can do it tomorrow (if you don’t do it now you’ll never do it ever)

you have a lot of time left (life is actually pretty short and we don’t have that much time)

you can skip this one little thing today (you are functioning solely due to the fact that you have a routine)

i must respond to this one thing that is bothering me immediately (you don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)

I must check my phone (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)

panicking is productive (panicking never makes a situation better, but in fact exacerbates it)

I must listen to music while doing the most minute task (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. and I like music as much as the next person but moments of sheer silence are crucial)

I must befriend everyone (some people just don’t mesh together and that is ok)

I can skip working out for the day (working out does so much for ur physical AND mental health)

If misfortune happens to me it’s because I am uniquely unlucky (misfortune has nothing to do with preordained circumstances and everything to do with random odds)

If I am mistreated it’s because I am a horrible person and I deserve it (most times people are projecting their issues onto u and it has nothing to do with u)

if I make a mistake I am uniquely horrible (we are all human and we all make mistakes. the important thing is to hold ourselves accountable and learn from them)

I must have this one thing I really want now (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. also whatever u want will still be here tomorrow so this sense of urgency is false)

I am uniquely hated/disliked/ostracized (most people are busy w their own lives and don’t have the time to be hating on u. and if they really are then their life is pretty empty and their opinion should not be held in high regard to begin with)

I want to exist in a world without timed schedules. Just desire to wake up, simply get dressed and walk out the door with my readings.

*pats your back* it's OK, sis, it's OK. We'll just change our phone wallpapers to pretty skies, change the layout and then we'll gently purge our phones outside the windows and start using it for less than 2 hours a day, we'll also eat more fruits and soups, touch the wall, then the floor,the carpet and the door and before we know it, we'll reach the grass and plants waiting for us all this time,and then we'll look at the sky, look at it some more and fall asleep, we'll then take a nice refreshing bath, wash our hair and sit on our desk, smile and then take our books to sit on the floor, and sis, that's when magic happens because you don't need more, you need less. You don't need plans, you need space, to be, content without those mfs.

happy six months baby<3

~✧°+* 12/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

11.08.2023

Today was chore day. I got a lot done, just nothing for school, sadly.

I also rearranged one of my book shelves! (As you can see above) Space is always a problem in this apartment so I'm preemtively rearranging for future books

Positive things I did today:

kept the duolingo Spanish streak going

cooked a warm meal

cleaned the kitchen

changed the sheets

did the laundry

packed my siblings' birthday presents

Hours slept: ~7hrs 45mins Screentime: 4hrs Steps taken: ~500

"fck you my child is completely fine!" M'am your child is reading gossip about dead authors from the 19th century at 3am

need him sb

all these unfunny jokes about how german is such a hard and awful language >:(

well, can your language do this?