Skills That Will Never Stop Serving You☆ . °🪷

Cute habits for this fall ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

• hot girl walks in autumn weather

• drinking tea in a cute mug, early in the morning

• study dates with the girls (library, cafe, so cute)

• meditating outside, breathing in that fresh autumn air girllll

• reading/book shopping

• gua sha + skin care routine + lash/eyebrow serum

• working out like a pink pilates muscle mommy

• journaling + self improvement/healing

• long soaks in the bath, epson salt, bubbles, essential oils, candles, everything girl

• manifesting/daydreaming (one of my favs)

How do I stop obsessing over the past and move forward?

HOW TO STOP OBSESSING OVER THE PAST

ALLOW YOURSELF TO DWELL. There is a reason why you are stuck in the past, and you’re only going to find out by actually processing what happened. Maybe you have unanswered questions, owe or owed an apology or you miss how things are and wonder how things can go back.

That being said, as soon as you fulfil the missing puzzle in the past, you need to cut off that clinginess.

IDENTIFY THOUGHTS AND FACTS. This is a grounding technique, as soon as you start thinking of the past and how things could’ve gone if maybe this happened; Go through your thoughts and sort them out as wishful or regretful thinking and what happened or is going to happen. This helps to bring us back to the present moment and to be aware of it.

IS IT A PROBLEM? Is your past catching up to you and forcing you into the past, or are you just imagining what might happen? One is an actual problematic circumstance, and the other is just your imagination/mindset.

PUT IT INTO PERSPECTIVE, usually from a third person's POV. If they witnessed what happened, without knowing all the extra details, would they consider it a big deal? This does even apply to a happy past, like would they see that the friends that you grew out to be a big deal, as you can always make new friends?

TURN YOUR PASTS INTO LESSONS. Not all lessons stem from bad events by the way. You have to start seeing your past as a tool, as something that can help you grow and reinvent yourself to be better as ever, not a burden on you that you want to erase.

JOURNAL. Document what happened, either vaguely, or in great detail, then just throw it away as a symbol that it is now in the past and it will no longer have a hold on you.

MEDITATE. Another grounding technique, but there are great guided meditations on YouTube that help with managing things from the past and learning how to look forward to the present.

IDENTIFY TRIGGERS. When you are put in a similar circumstance or around similar people, do you start thinking about the past again? If so, I want you to process and heal from it, then train yourself to dissociate from what happened with that environment.

DISTRACT YOURSELF WITH THE PRESENT. Start doing things that are scary and you are forced to just focus on that one scary thing instead of the past. This is a quick fix though.

How to feel more confident? ౨ৎ

wear things that you like or make you feel your best.

remember the famous saying "confidence is not they will like me, confidence is I’ll be fine if they don’t".

don’t be afraid of saying "no"

stop comparing yourself with other people. everyone is from different backgrounds and they might be doing the same.

invest in yourself and the people you care about.

remove the words "embarrassing" "cringe" from you vocabulary. We are all humans; we are unique. We constantly evolve. So no, you falling in front of someone , or having flaws etc does not make you cringe or embarrassing. "Confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong"

realize that you are 100% prettier than you think or know. your phone or mirror will never show your beautiful features accurately.

it’s okay to want more, be more or do more. you’re never "too much".

know yourself and what you want (journaling will help a lot with this)

don’t let challenges stop you. let them motivate you, instead. "Don’t be afraid of failure. Be afraid of not trying"

use affirmations.

meditate.

make boundaries and stick to them.

there will be days when you will feel at your lowest. And it’s okay, learn to bounce back and rest.

learn more about body language. it makes a huge difference.

you are more than your body. work on your mindset first, and you will see the physical glow up coming to you naturally. it’s all about how we see ourselves.

you are your dream girl. act, dress, talk like her. there is no right moment to be her but now ♡

HOW TO BEGIN HEALING

ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAIN AND DAMAGE. Others will try frequently to avoid these feelings and the thought that they’re hurt or hurting. However, it is a massive roadblock to starting your journey. 

You have to truly confront yourself. Journal, vent to someone, draw or however you feel is best to truly express how you feel, you do. 

EXTRACT TRIGGERS. Don’t let your physical environment encourage triggers that resurface your hurt self or continue to hurt you. E.g. friends, social media, family, bad habits etc. 

DAILY REFLECTION. You have to start to confront your feelings and experiences, but I know, it’s scary and we don’t want to revisit bad times. Please try to do some self-reflection daily about personal feelings and experiences, as it gets easier when it’s so frequent. 

ESTABLISH ORDER & ROUTINES. Start putting in good habits in your life and slowly improve your mental and physical well-being. Healing is going to be all over the place and messy. So when we have a routine to fall back on when needed, it just makes us feel better. 

ACTUAL SELF-CARE. Everything showers and face masks are nice and all, but they are not the only aspects of self-care. Self-care is doing the things that are good for you, disregarding how you currently feel. E.g. cooking and eating a healthy breakfast instead of eating takeout. 

BE PATIENT AND PERSISTENT. Healing is going to be hard regardless of what hurt you. There will be days when you feel like giving up. However, I encourage you to fight those feelings of hopelessness and continue. 

REMOVE SHAME FROM YOUR MIND. Another roadblock, it limits you from all the help and lessons you get in life. It isolates you, from everybody else who does care about you and wants to help. Asking for anything is not embarrassing. 

RECONNECT WITH YOURSELF. Start doing hobbies that you love, learning about things you’ve been curious about, and reading books on your favourite topics. Reconnection is so important because it brings emotional and mental prosperity. 

hotties habits⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍰💕

this is a post about habits that i've adopted that u can also adopt to elevate ur mind, body, confidence and spirit…💬🎀

SERVE COMPLIMENTS ;

start getting comfortable with complimenting yourself often, so much so to the point where compliments from others isn’t that big of a deal because YOU compliment u so much. this builds self esteem and self image. knowing that u don’t have to rely on the compliments of others only means that ur more confident.

and not only giving urself compliments but also complimenting others is an amazing way to boost self esteem and confidence while doing the same for someone else.

CULTIVATE CREATIVITY ;

something that has helped to elevate not only my mind but my femininity has been cultivating my creativity. i started to do this through my blog and through my pinterest account.

like thinking of new content to make and learning how i express myself has been so amazing for not only my confidence but for my creativity and i feel so much more feminine when im creating. starting my blog has helped me with self expression, helped me to learn new things and meet new people, and ultimately share and document my growth etc.

STAYING IN MY GIRLY BUBBLE ;

i dont like to over consume media and especially media that gives of negative energy or just toxicity. such as those balloon popping romance videos like im NOT with that. being more careful and conscious of what i choose to consume has helped my health so i just usually stay on my pinterest and a few other social media apps but just, keep urself protected and be careful of what u watch.

WEARING LOTS OF PINK ;

lastly, this is totally personal and its simply because its my favorite color and i look SO pretty in it. its just such a feminine color and its the best color (i dont make the rules). but in all seriousness having a specific element about my fashion that im consistent with is helpful for lots of reasons.

for example 99% of the things that i own are pink including my school supplies. i go to a school where we wear uniforms but i always make sure to accessories and highlight PINK. therefore everyone associates me with the color pink and things that are girly.

you can take this and do whatever u want with it. it doesnt have to be a color, it can be a specific style of dress or something that u like to wear often just have something distinct about you thats your SIGNATURE.

DAILY HABITS FOR A HEALTHY MIND ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

Keeping you mind healthy is just as important as keeping your body healthy. Doing daily habits that improve your mental well-being can improve your mood, reduce anxiety and stress, and increase focus and learning.

JOURNALING

As you may know by now, journaling has so many positive effects on your mental health. Journaling could help you express your emotions, relive stress, and find different ways to cope.

RESTING YOUR MIND AND BODY

Giving your mind and body a break after using it all day long is a huge way to improve your mental health significantly. Taking a break from your electronics, moving around, or academic activities could be of good use to your mental health.

GET ENOUGH SLEEP

Try to get 7-9 hours of good quality sleep each night.

PRACTICE MINDFULNESS OR MEDITATION

Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breath and be present and in the moment. HERE is a guide to meditation.

EXERCISE REGULARLY

Engage in physical activity for at least 30-45 minutes a day to boost your mood and reduce stress

READ OR ENGAGE IN MENTALLY STIMULATING ACTIVITIES

Challenge your brain with books, puzzles, or other activities that promote cognitive function.

PRACTICE GRATITUDE

Take a moment each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for in your life.

MANAGE STRESS

Find healthy ways to cope with stress, such as journaling, practicing relaxation techniques, or seeking support from others.

to all of my dolls finding themselves:

originality is the "aesthetic" you are looking for. individuality is the "it factor" you are looking for. from your personality, pieces, hair, cadence of voice...even down to your favorite foods or special interests. you aren't supposed to change every aspect about yourself to be more palatable for everyone you meet. that actually makes you BORING!!!

"but so and so is doing this" "but what if people don't like it" ... so??? don't take people disliking your aesthetic as a sign that you need to do something different. like, of course they don't like it or have second thoughts - it's because THEY wouldn't do it themselves because it wouldn't go with THEIR given aesthetic. HELLOO??????

unless they are like minded, stop asking other people to weigh in on the things you CLEARLY like about yourself. especially if it's a core personality trait or interest. your LIFE isn't a group project. your LIFE is not a co-op game.

and yes... people will try to force you to assimilate and follow the crowd by speaking misfortune on your rebrand, your expression, your hobbies, your chosen path out of jealousy. however, that jealousy is lowkey unspoken respect for the fact you have the candor to go against homogeneity.

your authentic dedication to everything that makes you YOU is what will bring you the illustrious life you so fervently seek in the end...not some book a celebrity wrote or a youtube video. it's in YOUR DNA to be a star already in anything you want to do.

there isn't one tutorial on this world wide web that will help you if you don't realize you have the components within you first. there is NOTHING wrong with you!!! you are EVERYTHING that is right already!!!

NEVER conform to the way they think you should shine.

what if god said yes

what if you got quiet. what if you got so quiet and you curled up in a little ball in your bed with a stuffed animal or a blanket or a pillow and you said, “god, can we talk?” and because god is you and you are god you didn’t have to wait and you didn’t have to go anywhere at all and—“yes,” god said. and you said, “god, i want an apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city.” “god, i want the boy with the kind eyes and tattoo-covered arms and exquisite taste in music.” “god, i want to feel alive again.” “god, i want to travel first-class to switzerland.” “god, i want a hound dog named finn.” and god said, “yes.” and you said, “but how can you make this happen?” and god said, “i can make anything happen.” and you said, “quickly?” and god said, “i love you. why would i not make this rapid?” and you said, “i can trust you?” and god said, “like your life depends on it.” and you said, “my life does depend on it.” and god said, “i know. i’ve got it now. you’re safe. let me take care of it.” and you hugged god. and god hugged you. and you hugged yourself. and you drifted off to sleep saying, “i have it. i’m safe. i have it. i’m safe. i have it. i’m—” and you woke in the morning and the world was new. because you knew it was done. because god said yes. and god never goes back on a yes unless you tell god “no.” and any time throughout the day you thought, “is anything happening?” god said, “it’s all happening.” and you said, “but i can’t see a thing.” and god said, “i am your eyes.” and you said, “but i don’t have to do anything?” and god said, “you did the only thing needed.” and you said, “but what about my thoughts and my state and acting as if?” and god said, “i love you.” and you knew what that meant. so instead of worrying or wondering or obsessing another second, you went to the bakery and bought a slice of chocolate cake and drove home and sat on your back deck and ate and ate and watched the sunset and celebrated.

10 things you should stop doing for self-growth

Wasting your time on one-sided relationships.

Worrying that you are asking for "too much".

Distracting yourself from complex feelings instead of processing them.

Ignoring your gut feeling.

Seeking external validation over self-assurance.

Expecting people to just know what's wrong instead of opening up.

Disregarding your boundaries and beliefs to make others like you and/or to avoid conflict.

Being scared of trying new things and failing.

Not celebrating your achievements because "others have accomplished more".

Believing your worth depends on how productive you are.

As always, please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!! •̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙♡*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛

❆‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧౨ৎ

How to Wake Up Early

I always wanted to be one of those girls who would wake up early, go for a run and be super productive with their mornings. The issue is - i really love sleep. Every time i would start a routine, i would eventually fail. I would wake up to turn the alarm off, think to myself “5 mins more” and boom- it’s suddenly 8:30 am and i need to leave for work in less than 1 hour.

Two videos on YouTube really changed my mind. One was Andrew Huberman’s, and the other was Jihyo, a k-pop star.

I came across Andrew Huberman’s video about dopamine, and somehow, it helped me to understand why the difficulty waking up early is so important. Now I’m no expert of neuroscience, but let me explain to the best of my abilities.

Dopamine is essentially the build up to the reward; it is not the reward. It is the satisfaction and happiness you feel (when your body releases), after you have achieved something that was painful/ required you to struggle a bit. In order to receive this reward, you have to feel pain, because pain and satisfaction are directly related to each other. Satisfaction without pain is useless and does nothing for you essentially.

That got me wondering: for me, waking up early is difficult. It’s painful. I dont want to do it. But if I do it, its my first win of the day. It’s the first challenge I have overcome of that day, and I always do feel amazing after. The dopamine release after the struggle of waking up and winning the battle of not going back to sleep is definitely there. I feel more confident because a) I have done the “right” thing b) selfishly, i can do something so simple that a lot of people struggle with c) it weirdly makes me feel more confident and like I’m doing the first step of being an adult right.

Jihyo’s video was quite random - she did some show where it shows her daily life when she’s not working. Parts of it made me feel like she’s unable to just relax with herself (probably because her body and mind are so used to chaos, performing, her girl group living together for so many years) so she busies herself a lot. I took the positives from the video; she’s extremely disciplined which I admired, she gets her chores done, she’s good at ensuring that her space is truly her space.

So I decided to build a relatively foolproof routine; but mind you, it does require quite a bit of willpower.

I’ve developed a habit of waking of waking up at 5 am. I head straight for a 30-45 minute meditation and then at least an hour long workout. I stack my habits that way; right after meditation, I put on my running shoes. I used to really struggle with waking up, even if I had to wake up late. This is the strategy that worked me, see if it works for you.

1. Reset your space the night before

This makes you feel less stressed in the morning and also genuinely makes you feel like you have your shit together. Put your clothes away, keep your bag in its place, clean up your desk, reorganise your make up and skin care products. You’re going to go to sleep and wake up to a clean space.

Make sure you define both your bedtime and wake up time. My bedtime is 9:30 pm - so i manage my chores, reading, dinner, everything around that.

2. Early dinner

I’ve noticed that early dinners help me sleep better. I’ve built the habit of casually walking for 25-30 minutes post dinner (not right after eating, after about 15 mins). I’m not walking fast to a point where I’m sweating and puffing, I’m casually strolling outside. During this time, I don’t listen to music, interact with anyone or my phone. I use this time to connect with myself and think about whatever I feel like.

3. No devices before sleeping

I don’t want to stimulate myself before sleeping, so I prefer reading before bed. If you don’t like reading, you can instead do your skincare, maybe revise some physical study notes, etc.

4. Using Alarmy app

This app is torture and I swear by it. This little thing makes you a solve a challenge of your choice in order to make the alarm stop, like math problems, puzzles, etc. I chose 5 math problems.

5. Keep your phone across the room

Don’t charge it near your reach. Keep it as away from you as possible.

6. Stand for two minutes after shutting off the alarm

Don’t allow yourself to snooze, or go back to bed. This is the part that really requires you to tell yourself: “i am not going back to sleep. I’m going to wake up and do the things I have to do for my own benefit.” Remember - the states of heaven and hell are not outside of you, they’re inside you. They are mental states. You have to fight with your lazy demon and tell him/her/whoever that NO; we are NOT going back to bed.

I charge my phone across the room so that forces me to walk first thing in the morning. To stop myself from going back to sleep, after i have shut the alarm off, i just stand for 2 minutes. I dont sit, or go back to bed. I stand and tell myself, we’re doing this. We’re going to wake up and have an amazing day.

Your mind is like a child with tantrums and mood swings. Your rational self has to discipline your mind the way a parent would to a child.

7. Turn a small light on

Not something that is jarring or overwhelming, but enough to help you start waking up. I turn my phone’s flashlight on and keep it on my desk.

8. Be consistent, even on weekends

The biggest mistake you can make is not being consistent. Your body doesnt recognise weekends, your mind does. Your body doesn’t know that tomorrow is Monday, so its time to wake up early. By staying consistent (yes, I wake up at 5 am on weekends too), it allows my body to develop its own body clock and not wrecking the system I’ve kept in place.

What do I do if I have a late night?

It really depends. Let’s say I come home relatively early (+2 hours around my bedtime) around 11 pm, and im in bed by 11:30. I’ll wake up somewhere close to 5 am, like 6 am instead. The next day I ensure I’m in bed by the bedtime I’ve kept for myself and wake up at 5 am again.

If I come home really late, like 3 am - i keep my alarm exactly 8 hours from that time. I need to get sleep, but oversleeping is an issue and that wont allow me to wake up early the next day. I want to get enough sleep where im rested for the day, but not excessively. Unfortunately, sleeping so late would definitely mean that i wont be able to fall asleep at my dot 9:30 pm bedtime, but i turn the lights off and get ready to sleep by then anyway, and mentally prepare for my 5 am wake up call.