Stop Everything, This Is Bitty Doing Research For His Thesis

“Colorism isn’t real.”

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

have u heard the famous quote "dazai is the root of all evil"?

fucks sake

nikolai: get in the halloween spirit and make a ghost!

sigma: that's called murder and i heard somewhere that's illegal

Things that Dazai is Officially Not Allowed to Do at Meetings, a By No Means Comprehensive List Assembled Over the Course of Several Months - by Kunikida

1. Refer to the collective members of the Armed Detective Agency as “Fukuzawa and the Fukuzawettes”.

2. Attempt to chime in to discussions by quoting the battle speech from Braveheart.

3. …Or any other, completely unrelated scenes from Braveheart.

4. Underscore anyone’s speeches by shouting “Amen!”, “Can I get a witness?”, or “Cowabunga!”

5. Underscore anyone’s speeches by waving one of those giant foam fingers from sporting events.

6. Underscore anyone’s speeches by playing dramatic music in the background.

7. Okay, who the hell gave Dazai a kazoo?

8. Giggle every time someone uses the word “duty.” Seriously, are you five?

9. Make a series of straight-faced, somber-sounding comments designed to include the word “duty” as many times as possible.

9a. [Amended, after the giggling proves contagious.] Okay, now nobody is allowed to say “duty”, are you happy?

9b. I wasn’t laughing, I was coughing, and anyway, that’s not- look, can we move on?

10. Anything involving sock puppets, for any reason.

11. For the purposes of 10, “sock puppets” also includes puppets not made of socks.

12. Okay, who the hell gave Dazai his kazoo back?

save red from his choices