"I'm About To End My Lifu With This Fucking Knifu"

SNL SKETCH

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

Serena: What did you do?

Calem: It’s a combination of getting arrested for trying to steal a car, contracting food poisoning and blowing up a marshmallow but it was fun and I made some good memories so none of that other stuff really matters

I have so many thoughts on the Artemis Fowl movie, but mostly

Uh. bro what's with the diagonal red lines on your face. wait a minute. Oh shit are you anime blushing cuz you're in love w me bro????? Its ok dude u can tell me

The Unofficial Rules of Tumblr.

Trevenant: It can control trees at will. It will trap people who harm the forest, so they can never leave.

Litwick: While shining a light and pretending to be a guide, it leeches off the life force of any who follow it.

Phantump: According to old tales, these Pokémon are stumps possessed by the spirits of children who died while lost in the forest.

Happy Halloween~

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Dadzai reigning in his two kids before they kill each other