It's Kind Of Comforting To Have Part Of Your Queerness Kept Inside By Choice. Being Closeted By Force

It's kind of comforting to have part of your queerness kept inside by choice. Being closeted by force isn't comforting, but I think there can be a sense of peace when you choose not to talk about part of your queerness. It feels like I am able to honour myself on my own, and I'm able to be happy with myself and not include anybody else in that.

More Posts from Stale-garden-hose and Others

1 year ago

blanket normally: really good

blanket 10 mins before you need to get up for work: skin contact with god

1 year ago

hey girl. um. Are you subway. cause youre the only sub i. way. Haha (coins spill outof shirt pockets ) Sorry i just robbed a child’s lemonade stand

1 year ago

"I cAn FiX hIm" "I cAn MaKe HiM wOrSe" nonsense. I can make him listen to Will Wood and the Tapeworms, which makes him better and worse.

1 year ago
Chungking Express (1994) Dir. Wong Kar-wai
Chungking Express (1994) Dir. Wong Kar-wai
Chungking Express (1994) Dir. Wong Kar-wai
Chungking Express (1994) Dir. Wong Kar-wai
Chungking Express (1994) Dir. Wong Kar-wai

Chungking Express (1994) dir. Wong Kar-wai

1 year ago

Being neurodivergent is like

Sorry, I get really excited when I get really excited.

1 year ago

The fact that there’s an actually functional website for the library of Babel is one of those things that fucks me up more and more the more I think about the implications.


Tags
1 year ago

welcome to life in the world to come we're supposed to tell you about the apocalypse but instead will bought a forklift and now we're gonna record ourself playing with it for the next 2 hours and thats the podcast

1 year ago

Everyone told me testosterone would make me angrier. My family has a habit of attributing any anger I feel these days to the testosterone. I didn't feel any angrier, but my mother would still tell me that no, I am angrier now, and testosterone did make me angrier and *she* could tell.

A week or two ago, I got my proof to the contrary. I'd been having a difficult day, woke up late, and had to rush out the door, ran into minor inconvenience after minor inconvenience, and then the straw broke the camel's back.

I wrote out the kind of angry vindictive seething text message I used to write constantly. I didn't send it, of course, I copied it out and pasted it in the folder of my notes where I put all my rage venting.

And then I thought.

Huh, it's been a little while since I did that. And I checked the time and dates on my previous notes. The last one was a few days before I started testosterone.

And scrolling back, I noticed that they were *constant* at least one a week for *years* I used to get so angry that I would get the serious urge to say cruel hurtful things to or about people I cared about on a near-daily basis. I didn't realize how big of a problem it was until all of a sudden I hadn't gotten that angry in Eleven Months. Nearly a YEAR.

And then I realized in my rush to get out the door in the morning, I hadn't taken my T shot. My testosterone was the lowest it's been since August.

All of a sudden, I had demonstrable proof that testosterone really did make me less angry. That all that "you may not think you're any angrier but you are" was bullshit.

I feel like I should be angrier about this than I am. I know how angry I used to get. About everything. I just felt it again for the first time in a while. For once, it would feel justified to be that angry. But I'm not. I'm not mad. I'm just... disappointed, I guess.

1 year ago

please don’t be mean to me i will literally be on my deathbed replaying it in my head asking myself why i’m such a unique annoyance to society

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