Reading Asoiaf With My Bestie We Laughed Too Hard At This Joke

Texts From Superheroes

Facebook | Threads | Patreon | Instagram

Watching Dexter as a teenager: Wow... I'm just like him... fucked up, evil, a monster. Other people are alien to me. I don't feel the way other people do. An outcast among my peers, just trying to blend in. A psychopath. A wolf in sleeps' clothing. I-

Watching Dexter now: Oh my God he's autistic

Bringing back something I wrote seven years ago back on Reddit:

Jon Snow and Baby Switcheroo

I have an appreciation for Jon's ability to manipulate and scheme. From his first scene in AGOT he showed a gift at manoeuvring a situation into his favor, but the baby switch cements this ability the best I think.

First, its important to note that Jon doesn't rush into his lie and swap out of nowhere, he lays the groundwork and plans meticulously.

“Sire, some claim that you mean to grant lands and castles to Rattleshirt and the Magnar of Thenn.”

“Who told you that?”

*The talk was all over Castle Black*. “If you must know, I had the tale from Gilly.” - Jon I ADWD

He says something of which he'd heard rumors of, but he assigns the blame to Gilly so as to alienate Stannis further from her. By doing this, he deliberately leads Stannis into the conversation where he can mention sending Gilly off without drawing any attention or reprimand from the king who practically controls Wildling lives on the Wall.

“The wet nurse,” said Lady Melisandre. “Your Grace gave her freedom of the castle.”

“Not for running tales. She’s wanted for her teats, not for her tongue. I’ll have more milk from her, and fewer messages.”

“Castle Black needs no useless mouths,” Jon agreed. “I am sending Gilly south on the next ship out of Eastwatch.”

Jon is very good at reading people, and he uses that to his advantage by associating Gilly more and more with the things he knows Stannis dislikes and he does it covertly.

The king was confused. “I thought the wet nurse was this man Craster’s daughter?”

“Wife and daughter both, Your Grace. Craster married all his daughters. Gilly’s boy was the fruit of their union.”

“Her own father got this child on her?” Stannis sounded shocked. “We are well rid of her, then. I will not suffer such abominations here. This is not King’s Landing.”

He plays on Stannis' prejudice to achieve his goal.

Finally-

Melisandre : “Gilly is giving suck to Dalla’s son as well as her own. It seems cruel of you to part our little prince from his milk brother, my lord.”

Careful now, careful. “Mother’s milk is all they share. Gilly’s son is larger and more robust. He kicks the prince and pinches him, and shoves him from the breast. Craster was his father, a cruel man and greedy, and blood tells.” - Jon I ADWD

The above is what he says but in the next chapter this is what he thinks:

Gilly’s boy was older, Dalla’s more robust, but they were close enough in age and size so that no one who did not know them well would be able to easily tell one from the other. - JON II ADWD

He will die at sea, he thought, despairing. He is too old to survive such a voyage. Gilly's little son may die as well, he's not as large and strong as Dalla's boy. Does Jon mean to kill us all? - SAM I AFFC

Jon even swaps the physiques of the babies when describing them to Stannis in order to confuse him further and eliminate a chance of them being identified correctly. He further uses that incorrect physique to push the rhetoric of Gilly's babe being an "abomination" covertly to Stannis. Jon hammers out the details of the lie meticulously, not leaving any scope for failure by being vague. He goes all the way.

I think its an aspect of Jon's character people don't notice or credit much because it isn't at the forefront the way it is for Tyrion, but he too is capable of playing the game. I don't understand when people dismiss Jon's abilities in manipulation or write him off. He's often navigated such situations masterfully and shows himself great at reading people and what moves them from the very first book.

went into the theaters for a casual watch and came out wanting to see john walker take it up the ass (specifically from bob)

wyatt russell it seems ive grown quite fond of you though there are no sexual urges or desires you come to me as a long lost friend whom i once picked apples with in papas orchard

Bro can we talk about how Scorpius and Albus are MENACES

I'm tired of them being the shy bullied boys.

Show me the destroying there bullies with psychological WARFARE

With Albus's sneakiness and potions ability and Scorpius's knowledge and planning ... They could come up with purely DIABOLICAL plans

These are the boys who escaped the Hogwarts Express ( when THE MARAUDERS AND FRED AND GEORGE couldn't even get OFF the train) and where HALF WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY before they even REALIZED they where gone.

These are the boys who BROKE into not only the Ministry of magic but the MISTER OF MAGICS OFFICE and STOLE a TIME TUNER

Not to mention their RICH like RICH RICH. Cost of materials is no issue PLUS Albus's uncle runs a JOKE SHOP

Throw in the Cloak and the Map and they DESTROY anyone who bothers them. They'd be THE BEST people to have on your side in a prank war.

idk i feel like dexter could've poor little meow meowed his way out of the electric chair if he'd really put his mind to it

If your ever taking requests…. Jonerys / snowstorm 👁️

ok then

Harvey Specter + Opinions

If that date was so bad, how did you find that out? SUITS 3.02 "I want you to want me"