I Am Going To Live There. Forever. PERIOD.

Holy shit

Dear god why

I was an Air Traffic Controller at Atlantic Municipal Airport, Iowa for 27 years. My first year at the job, I unwillingly went from a firm atheist to a believer

By inaaace

My uncle and aunt came to visit me here in Atlanta. We got to talking about all sorts of general things, you know how family is, but we somehow ended up on the topic of strange/supernatural. This is when my uncle started telling me his story, a story that he says will haunt him all the way to his grave. I stopped him two minutes into it and got my laptop because I wanted to write it down.

These are his memories, almost word for word. Forgive the non-traditional writing. 

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Same

does anyone else secretly have that “i liked it before it was cool” complex but wont admit it

For once, as a Virgo, I can verify this as 200% accurate

How fast the sign responds to texts/snapchats

Aries: a minute or a week Taurus: a few minutes Gemini: quickly unless they’re texting someone else Cancer: a minute or two Leo: INSTANTLY Virgo: around 3 minutes unless they’re busy. then it takes like 3 weeks Libra: 8 years Scorpio: looks but doesn’t reply Sagittarius: replies with an emoji or not at all Capricorn: emails Aquarius: around 5 minutes Pisces: quickly, but with ‘k’

Billions of Software updates down the shower drain...

Your DNA contains millions of years worth of software updates.

Can we just look at the guy next to her who wants to be a flexasaurus

finally no one can tell how unpopular I am

>Lazily updates the blog

parents: what did you do today

me: nothing

parents: wELL OBVIOUSLY YOU DID SOMETHING!!! DID YOU JUST LOOK AT A *WALL* ALL DAY????????

me: to be frank i did many things but you and I both know that you know very little about my interests and I know that you don't particularly care to learn about them and I don't have the mental capability to put up with you dismissing the things that make me happy so for the sake of brevity and my emotional well being: i did nothing

*sighs internally*