Sombredancer - "Enemies To Lovers" Lover

The best cdrama of 2024

is The Spirealm. I love it, love it, LOVE IT! Beware of being heavily spoiled ahead! What I was fond of: 🔑It's a nice story about finding love a true friend and a reason to live even if you are very lonely and abandoned by everyone, and it's full of tenderness and jokes. (Sometimes these jokes were so BL that I thought this drama should have been shot in Taiwan).

LQS: *whispers* I'm a dedicated materialist, I'm a dedicated materialist... RLZ: Yeah, yeah, I got it... RLZ: 👀... RLZ: If you are a materialist, why don't you say it to her? LQS: ... LQS: I'm not a that dedicated materialist! RLZ: ... RLZ: RUN! The main heroes are going the whole way from this:

RLZ: If you are not capable of passing even your first trial, you are worthless. to this:

Calmly accompanying each other on their way to the doom. 🔑 I love its lore and the detective part. As far as I watch cdramas, I try to avoid Chinese detectives because they are very fairytail-ish and don't allow you to participate mentally in the investigation. But it's not that case! (Who knew we would find real detective cases in a horror drama!). You can participate in investigation and even find out the truth before the main heroes will, and it's... pleasant. Btw, the mystical detective cases are so different in their levels of horror and mystics that you def will find something to please you even if you are a horror movies hater like me.

🔑 The horror stories were re-made for the adaptation in a very interesting way. Every monster is related to the inner pain of the main hero: they are betrayed, traumatized, abandoned by people they loved, just like him. So he feels pity and sorry for them and redeems them instead of killing. And, moreover, it makes impact throughout the whole story, on the main hero's 11th door as well on his relationship with his lover.

🔑Speaking of traumatized monsters. The first time I ugly cried over this drama was a story of the 4th monster. The monster! Made me cry!

But of course it wasn't the last time I cried my eyes out. The secondary characters of this drama are lovable, too. And the lore mechanics makes the awaiting of death so unbearable painful... You physically can feel the huge weight of characters' despair when they know that they or their dearest will die in a few minutes and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing they can do about it. This level of pain is something else, indeed.

But the most painful scene, where I cried the hardest, was not a scene of someone's death, but a scene of interaction between the main hero and his mother. She told him not to show up again, because she has a new family now, and was about to throw his school dreams and memories into the dump. What kind of mother she is!!😡

🔑And the most important thing about this drama: all detective cases allow you to restore the main story, piece by piece. And this story is about bone-piercing loneliness. The main hero was bullied in school, abandoned by his family and betrayed (kind of) by his best friend. His life was meaningless before he met his partner, the only person who returned to him the reason to live. But he happened to be a monster made specifically for the main hero to accompany him to the 12th door, a virus that needed to get to the 12th level with the help of the main hero to destroy the game. But the main hero's kindness to other un-humans, his ability to understand their pain despite of who they are, melted even monster's heart and made him genuinely love the main hero. It's truly sad that the main hero refused the real world and spent all his years left to make the world of his dreams and to get his lover back, but it's a story about loneliness, so I can't blame him. In his place, I would do the same.

The first meet

and the last. And the last but not least: I adore the technical part of this drama! I love RLZ's costumes! They are classical yet not really standard, make him conspicuous and give a feeling to a viewer that he is someone special. That he is somehow ethereal.

But he is not the only one whose clothes are saying. The White Deer people have their own style as well, so you can understand almost immediately that the characters in strange and pretentious clothes are related. And the main villain's costumes tell a lot about his personality.

And the set designs! They were marvelous! They gave me a feeling of vastness, as if the characters really were in other, spacious worlds.

And the soundtrack! I love it! It's such a shame that iQIYI didn't publish BGM and OST officially. But I found some of the tracks on YouTube. My favorites are the soundtrack to the 4th case: 森川-佐子 here and the variations of the door theme: 门 (变奏) here and 门 (门中门) here. Love it and highly recommend! 💙

Two days till I will devour a bucket of broken glass.

I strongly dislike the trope when someone who is in love with one person is forced by fate or circumstances to be with another. Hate it so much. And I have to watch it for 12 series in a row.

I'm afraid that those romance pieces that we could see in OST trailer but havent seen in drama yet are from dreams of DFQC and never happen in reality. And I`m also afraid that one of them will die, because problem of Romeo and Juliette can hardly be solved in another way.

I know that novel has HE but the drama plot has plenty of differences by now and Chinese people like to film BEs. Besides, DFQC killed his father, it`s an unredeemable crime in Oriental cultures.

Please talk to me, I want to share my love and fear with someone.

*It`s me sitting under my tree of love for this drama and trying to brace myself*

New moon, would you open the gates

And take me away, away from this night... 

How to fight your doom (Pt.2)

Episode 8 I think this and the next one episode are most important for development of Devil’s and Girl’s relationships. The story is filled with fateful accidents as well as interesting parallels and some of them we can see in this episode too. It’s funny that at the beginning of the story Girl IS in love with God of War and he IS in love with her. You may think: if their feelings are mutual, what can go wrong? But God of War is too afraid to go against his brother (although he is more powerful than all of the fairies together, as we can see in ep. 26) and too fixated on his duty to get this mutual love. He lies to his brother that he doesn’t like and even despises Girl. And Devil shows this scene to her. I love that it happens by accident: Devil sincerely doesn’t know about GoW’s affection, so he doesn’t have any intention to disrupt their relationships, he just forces her to face the truth (and he also believes it’s true), but it will matter to romantic feelings of hers for GoW later. At the same time it parallels with the future situation when Devil himself tells the same lie to her face and it breaks hers as well as his life. A lie destroys any relationships.

Devil starts to feel something other than Girl’s emotions and I love how he tries to find some rational explanations why it happens. If Devil’s heart hurts when he sees Girl as GoW’s bride, it’s because of Girl’s physical state. Not because Devil cares. No way! If he is angry when Girl praises GoW, it’s because of wicked effects of the curse. Not because Devil is jealous, no. And Dragon boy watches it all with the poker face: «Master, when are you going to force her to fix Destiny Book? Not today? She needs to sleep? Hmmm… OK».

Then there comes this ICONIC scene:

Girl tries to refrain from tears and Devil says that she shouldn’t pretend to be strong in front of him because he knows how she feels. He knows it, obviously, thanks to the curse, but Girl doesn’t know about it, so she thinks he is very empathic. Knowing how another feels is very intimate thing, only our nearest and dearest ones can say how do we feel just by looking at us and only in front of them we can be ourselves and don’t have to hide our weaknesses and pain. Devil doesn’t get even medium level of emotional intelligence by now but he is a VERY good learner, so he does some very empathetic and important for their relationships things: when she asks him, if he looks down on her like others do, he squats. He SQUATS to be on the SAME LEVEL with her! He is ben zuo, the higher God of Demons, he doesn’t need to do it at all, but he does.

And then he wipes her tears. This movement is raw and quite not gentle but, as we will see later, he even doesn’t know how to smile and how to show his affection to his relatives. Tears wiping is a big deal for him. And again: he doesn’t have to but he does.

And after that we can see EVEN MORE ICONIC SCENE:

Girl knows that he is a criminal who has broken free from the Fairy Prison and is a demon from the enemy tribe. But she has no prejudice against «enemy» tribe. Devil has done to her mostly good deeds (let’s put aside that attempt to strangle her at their «first date»). She is very compassionate and doesn’t want him to die because of other’s prejudice, so she grabs him and hides him beneath the Arbiter Hall, in the sea.

Devil is almighty and doesn’t need to be saved, so maybe in this moment he thinks that she tries to save her precious GoW from his Hellfire. When she is out of breath and slowly falls to the bottom of the sea, we can see another parallel, which shows us Devil’s changes.

Devil high above looks like in his battle against Fairy Realm 30 thousand years ago: we can see only his silhouette, he is very afar and out of reach, indifferent to lives and deaths of those who beneath him. I find this scene a little bit funny because we all know: he can’t be indifferent to Girl’s life anyway, he is cursed and if she suffocated so did he. So Mighty Demon God sighs and comes down to breathe life into Girl.

What I love in this story the most – we can think about «point of no return» when their affection starts, but, exactly like it goes in the real life, we can`t find the certain moment. Forging affection is a process, not a flash that pierced one’s heart right away. So, even forced to save her life, he is truly embarrassed when they are at the Arbiter Hall again, he touches his lips trying to understand his current emotions and the Spring starts in his Sea of Heart with the first tiny green leaf of feelings. He is quite affected. But his affection is fragile and ghostly by now.

And then this BEAUTIFUL scene comes:

"Little flower demon?!"

He wakes up. Somewhere. He was unconscious. He was knocked out by little, harmless and suspiciously nervous Girl. And he wakes up. He wasn’t poisoned to death. He wasn’t imprisoned. Everyone in this world wants him dead, he was short-sighted and could be already dead but he is still here. And Girl says that she knows he is enemy of her tribe, she knows how risky it is to send him away now, but she CARES about his safety, well-being, warmth and food and wants him to go back to the Demon Realm so no one could kill him.

Later, when he comes back, he learns that this 10% of soul recuperation couldn`t be proceeded not because of Girl`s unrequited love for GoW but because she really was worried about him.

This realization is very important for him as we can see later in this story. In his life Devil always was an enemy to be hated or a weapon to be relied on. But even almighty evil lords are just human beings deep in their hearts. If you are strong it doesn’t mean you don’t need to be cared, supported and loved. So this situation pushes him to rethink his life and his father’s teachings about affections. And in this scene he also learns how to show his attachment: later in Human Realm he will give to Girl food on the go as she in this boat scene does.

Btw there are plenty of stories when people fall in love with nice attitude towards them (and GoW is one of them), and I find it much healthier than to fall in love at first sight or with someone’s appearance. So, although Devil’s Tree of Seven Emotions will bloom far later, I think in this episode him falling in love with Girl starts to be inevitable.

Episodes 1-7 Episodes 9-13 Episodes 13-19 Episodes 20-26 Episodes 27-34

BROTHER...WAKE UP...

E23 : My Journey to You | 云之羽 (2023) dir.Edward Guo

“New moon, lay your mercy on me tonight...” (с) Swallow the Sun I wanted to draw this a long time. The font is designed by Taras Makar. 

"Song Mo." "Since you knew my name, you would know how many corrupt officials and pirates I've interrogated. You could fake it to a certain extent because you know a little about those in the palace. But when it comes to finer details, your uneasiness gives you away."

Li Lun, a villain I feel for (Pt. 4/4)

Since we know that LL’s redemption is not the point, and the main purpose of him being in this story is a̶ b̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶v̶i̶s̶u̶a̶l̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶a̶l̶ ̶b̶a̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ a bunch of plot twists to be sacrificed, everything what happens next is pretty logical. After that conversation with ZYZ’s boyfriend LL moves to the last two stages of acceptance: depression and, actually, acceptance. He got his answer to the question “why do you treat me like this?” but he can’t turn back time and be of superior attitude as current ZYZ’s boyfriend is, so he understands that he will never be able to get ZYZ back. And since he is insanely obsessed with ZYZ, losing hope to reunite means for him losing the meaning of his existence. So, he doesn’t try to possess any other healthy body. He doesn’t even try to find a remedy for the current one, or to notify ZYZ’s squad that their friend’s body is dying in hope they will save Little Traitor (as far as he knows they can do literally impossible things). Of course they can! GJM’s sleeves are full of aces for them! He just waits for his body to die.

This scene in the cave is very beautiful yet meaningless. Li Lun’s lifeless and dark birthplace is now in intense blooming! It’s so beautiful, it means… What is it supposed to mean?🤷🏻‍♀️ There is no redemption, no reason to bloom if only sophoras aren’t trees that bloom only before their death. The only thing that changed in LL’s mind is his acceptance, both of irreversibility of their break-up with ZYZ and of his inevitable death.

Then we have a super strange monologue, in which LL says that he has no place in this world and no home (But darling, why? In this drama there wasn't a single scene where LL was denied by someone except for ZYZ and his friends, they are not the whole world! He is still a part of demon society, no one can take it away from him!). Throughout the drama there was also no sign of him searching for his place in this world! Not a single scene about it! He just wanted to talk to his ex and that’s it! Hearing him speaking of an absence of home while watching his home all over blossoming was really weird.

Although I found it very nice to see Li Lun treating Ao Ying well (It’s so rare for villains, especially obsessed ones, to treat their servants well!), I didn’t understand what this scene was for. To show us that LL is good now and is able to do good deeds? But I already had no doubt he is, because he saved those demons from the dungeon, and saved Great Wilderness centuries ago together with ZYZ, and all that jazz. He never treated Ao Ying bad in frame, so this scene doesn’t work as a contrast to his previous behavior neither. It’s here just to show us dying, miserable LL and to prepare us for feeling for him a little bit more while he will be sacrificed.

In the end of his monologue LL says that he is ready to die but wants to have a great stage to die on and someone to take with him into nothingness, and goes to… ZYZ! So, since he has no hope to get him back, he wants to die trying to take ZYZ with him, I suppose. It’s so within his obsession plot line, although is hella pathetic.

But Ao Ying disturbs his plans and shows him what end should meet every obsessed person in a Chinese drama. She transfers the poison out of Little Traitor’s body into herself and dies for a person she was obsessed with. So now Li Lun knows what to do.

He passes out at the threshold of ZYZ’s residence, and no one of the main characters uses this opportunity to pull his soul out of Little Traitor’s body! Not dying anymore, he talks to ZYZ again and says that he regrets they broke up and wants to return those times. And ZYZ says once more that LL should leave Little Traitor’s body and die. Why doesn’t ZYZ say by this very conversation that he doesn’t want Li Lun to die and has a way to keep his soul alive? Just because. LL is not convinced by ZYZ’s generous offer, so he fights the whole bunch of ZYZ’s friends, loses this fight and gets expelled from Little Traitor’s body. But SUDDENLY ZYZ asks his friends to spare LL’s life and to return his primordial spirit into his own sophora root that once was a love token between them. So LL could chill in his birthplace for a hundred years cultivating himself a new body and would stay alive. Why didn’t ZYZ offer it to LL before, when LL asked him multiple times to spare him? 🤷🏻‍♀️ No idea!

LL’s behavior oddly swings from his willingness to die to his willingness to survive, but Ao Ying paved him the only way obsessed characters could follow, so if he can’t be with ZYZ anyway, he dies saving him. His act of dying is the last part of break-up acceptance: he regifts ex’s gift to his current boyfriend and symbolically hands him over the burden of caring about ZYZ. And lastly has a tantric threesome sex with both ZYZ and his new boyfriend.

"Zhao Yuanzhou, I can't bear seeing you this weak."

I discussed my unhappiness with LL’s plot with my fellow @i-selina and she voiced the thought that there is some sort of Chinese cultural pattern in dramas saying: “your misery is your own weakness and a reason others will try to make you even more miserable”. My cultural pattern says that one should be merciful to other’s misery, that’s why I would like to see Li Lun’s inner fracture get healed and his true redemption arch happen, letting him stay alive. But GJM didn’t seem to bother even developing the main characters, so I shouldn’t expect that much of him here. He was busy making FoF insanely beautiful. No one can be equally good at each aspect of cinematography. Still love Li Lun, though.

Here is Part 1 Here is Part 2 Here is Part 3

My Journey to You:

And 100 Days My Prince:

Deep black space and mortal solitude