mclaren: borderline illegal rocketship, norris fans on twitter beginning to crash out with favouritism accusations to cope with piastri leading the championship
red bull vcarb industrial complex: falling apart at the seams but at least max verstappen is a dad now
ferrari: seemingly committed to making strategy decisions so poor that their drivers kill each other before the car gets any faster
mercedes: letting their tiny italian wunderkind distract you from the fact that george russell is calmly shithousing his way to a podium every other week
aston martin: forgot how to build a car
stake: forgot to even show up
haas: flip flopping between anonymous and slay-adjacent depending on the weekend
williams: pushing their way to the upper midfield with the power of friendship and hamster memes
alpine second driver subplot:
Charles Leclerc celebrates on the podium after the F1 Grand Prix of Belgium. (Photo by Nicolas Economou).
there’s nothing like an oblivious race winner. “i was wheel spinning in sixth gear”. oscar babe, max tried to kill several people and a sauber finished fifth, your gear shifts are so irrelevant they may as well be a williams
personally, I think f1 teams shouldn’t bring the cars to monaco. they should make all the drivers line up on sunday and run two full laps of the monaco circuit. tripping, pushing, shoving, and other general villainy is allowed. may the fastest driver win. also a 2 second time advantage will be given to any driver who takes their shirt off and lets those thangs BOUNCE
81s are saying the team has a Lando bias, 4s are saying the team has an Oscar bias, the strategy team is driving the bus without a map, Will is starting a podcast on the team radio, and landoscar are snogging each other in the back seat