Ofc Its Fine Lmfao Hehe

I must eat him now

Mini Chuuya but he is a bread.

It's a sskk fanfic competition and your opponent is Asagiri Kafka, who has written:

sskk riding each other

sskk biting each other's neck

sskk having romantic dates on huge ships

Coffee shop!AU

... where sskk try to kill each other in said coffee shop

Inverted!AU

Knight!Akutagawa

"Just the two of us?"/"Do we need any more?"

"Away with you, you fool."

And more to come.

You are not winning.

"But even if... you are but a pattern... etched on the surface of raw power... you are you. Nothing changes that... because all people, all humanity... their brains and flesh... are nothing more than patterns - beautiful patterns... upon the material world..." - Rimbaud

- Dazai, Chūya, Age Fifteen, Kafka Asagiri

NOPE NO WAY YOURE DENYING

I think Dazai doesn't know what personal space is💔

this did modest numbers on tiktok, i hope y’all like it too! here’s my…

✨dazai headcanons✨

but they’re all rlly specific & weird

(coming from a cosplayer who’s been in the fandom since 2016)

he has an astigmatism that went untreated for so long he’s now partially blind in his right eye. he needs glasses but hates his old pm pair and never wears them in public. he’s too lazy to get his prescription renewed/hates going to the doctor so they’re not even up to date for his vision

that’s why he’s a bad driver— he can’t fucking see

he drives/reads better if he closes one eye

mori forced him to get braces after he formally joined the port mafia. he had a lisp for the first few months and would blackmail ppl if he did it in front of them

he hid his bad vision for a long time, but mori eventually noticed and forced him to get glasses too. he fucking hated wearing them and “accidentally” kept breaking each new pair mori got

after that, mori got him contacts but he would lie and throw them out just to be defiant (totally not bc they squicked him out)

he originally started wearing his bandages because no one would touch him bc of his ability

he has awful tan lines bc of his bandages, his face and hands are tanner than the rest of his body, but since the sun can permeate light clothing/bandages he also has random splotchiness all over his body, especially his shoulders, arms, & back

in 15, dazai got so excited he was 5 cm taller than chuuya bc he was always the one being bullied for being short/malnourished before they met

at 16, chuuya grew slightly faster than dazai and started teasing him. dazai freaked out and started wearing lifts for a brief period of time. he was researching poisoning techniques to reduce growth right before he finally got his own growth spurt <3

he has chronic insomnia and is a scarily light sleeper. usually gets anywhere from 3-6 hours of sleep a night

he constantly has dark circles under his eyes as a result

whenever he shares a bed with chuuya, he’ll sleep twice as long as normal. at first, chuuya would get mad bc he was a huge brat to try and wake up, but now he lets dazai sleep in as long as he wants

his sense of taste is abysmal, which is why he likes really salty/spicy food. they’re the only flavors he can actually taste

he doesn’t decorate or furnish his ADA apartment because he’s scared that once he gets attached to the place, it’ll get taken away

he constantly beats himself up for not thinking to take odasaku’s coat with him. he bought his current one because it looked similar

he refuses to touch any of his pm salary, so it’s just kept accruing interest and is actually obscene at this point. he asked ango to “handle it” and cover banking stuff under the condition he gets to take out any expenses he wants. it irritates ango to no end that dazai won’t do anything with it

the day kunikida finds out about dazai’s pm bank account will be dazai’s final day on this earth

when he was 15 he was unironically into screamo bc “it screams for me when i can’t.” thought linkin park was super hardcore & his favorite song was “numb” (fucking loser)

he NEVER brushes his hair. like he doesn’t even own a fucking hairbrush or comb until chuuya has a conniption over it and starts keeping one at his apartment

whenever chuuya tries to brush his hair, it’s like trying to wrangle a feral cat. they’ve gotten in physical fights over it that always end with dazai pouting for the next hour while chuuya laughs at how flat his head looks without the rat’s nest

uses dollar store 9-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/bodywash/motor oil. it’s ocean breeze scented! :)

he’s had the same fake driver’s license since he was 15 and never bothered to get a real one

he actually has decent medical training from spending so much time as mori’s apprentice. about the same level as a battle medic would have. capable of stitching wounds & performing surgery, but not as good as yosano even without her ability

yosano has tried to reach out and bond with him about their shared pasts a few times, but he always comes up with an excuse to leave. she eventually gave up on asking

one time, he got badly wounded and had to be treated by yosano. she had to sedate him because her ability doesn’t work on him, and he called her mori the whole time. he doesn’t remember, but she never forgot and stopped trying to spend time with him

jurassic park but it's tiny elephants and nothing goes wrong 🥺

some more pigeons for ye

BUT THEN IT’LL CORRUPT YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS TRUST ME ID KNOW

[POST]

what the fuck is going on in america

is this the election…

It is valid, you gay gremlin

[POST]

making a sandwich for the first time. wish me luck chat I’M SCARED…

no crab OR lemon twizzlers involved… i’m so adventurous…