I Don't Know What To Do

when ben platt said

“i want your friends to be my friends

i’ll make you breakfast in your bed

i want it all with you

and if I'm coming on too strong

it's 'cause i've waited far too long

for someone just like you”

i felt that in the most sapphic way possible.

the holy trinity of the pieces with intimacy that make me feel more alive -

salman toor / holly warburton

when emily dickinson said “today is far from childhood” and when lorde said “it feels so scary getting old” and when taylor swift said “how long will it be cute, all this crying in my room? when you can’t blame it on my youth” and when phoebe bridgers said “and i woke up in my childhood bed wishing i was someone else, feeling sorry for myself” and when mitski said “to think that we could stay the same” and “mom, am i still young? can i dream for a few months more?” and when- 

c’mere. “cups your cheeks and kisses you softly on the lips*… i love you

i like art, and by art i mean music, poetry, sex, paintings, the human body, literature. all of this is art to me

when elena ferrante said “there are people who leave and people who know how to be left” and when richard siken said “someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story.” and when sally rooney wrote “if i told you where my car is right now, i don’t think i’d be able to leave, i think i would have to stay here just in case you changed your mind about everything” and when mikko harvey said “the number of hours we have together is actually not so large. please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.”and when karese burrows wrote “i have never seen a door that doesn’t look like you leaving. look at me writing this poem. even here i don’t mean anything i say. except that I still want you. that whatever is in me still loves you deeply. it is a light i can’t turn off. i clap my hands and nothing happens.” and when margarita karapanou said “i never expected you to actually finish anything. you were always leaving. i always picture you with a suitcase in your hand.”

Fellas, Is it gay to feel very nervous while calling your bestfriend who is very close to you ?

I paint flowers so they will not die.

— vladimir nabokov, in a letter to his wife [24 march 1937] from letters to véra (trans. olga voronina & brian boyd)

The chalk scene, I know it has been talked into the ground already, but I just want to talk about one aspect that has been on my mind. A great thing about this moment is that Yuki is also providing Machi with a good way to deal with her impulses. Before this, at the start of the episode and in previous moments, we’ve seen Machi totally destroy a whole box of chalk or a classroom.

But here, Yuki just breaks one piece of chalk in half, and it is enough for Machi to calm down. We some other examples of this as well. I saw another post pointing out how Yuki “Machi-ified” her room for her (he didn’t fix the broken window, just put some tape over it, he put her books in an disorganized - organized fashion, etc.). So, by doing small things like this, Yuki provides Machi with examples of how she can manage her impulses without having to go to the extreme of totally destroying something. That way, she can manage her impluses on her own, without Yuki *needing* to be there to help her. Because of little things like this, Machi can now help herself.

I just love that. <3