Salt-vinegar-blood - Salt_vinger_blood

Aliens (1986)

ur government assigned gender for the day is the first thing u get when u click this link to a randomised wikipedia article. NO REROLLS . i am the  trollsteineggje mountain in norway

Me, aged 11, sitting in a darkened movie theater absolutely glued to the screen: hmmm......something very compelling about this man in particular...not sure what tho......

The man in question:

“But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.”

— Lemony Snicket

Hotlinks to all Tables: A complete list of every trinket table for quicker access compared to scrolling through the entire blog or sifting through the archive. This also functions as the easiest link to reblog or save for reference purposes as it’s updated with each new table. Now with 112 full d100 loot tables, category specific rolling tables a working rollable Omni Loot Table.

—Note: The links sometimes don’t work on mobile devices or some apps. Try using a desktop or browser extensions if they aren’t working. 

-The Omni Loot Table: A loot meta-table that allows the user to roll randomly on the 112 tables this blog has collected. This grants a DM literally millions of unique trinkets, equipment and items that players can find to enrich their world and playing experience.

-All Unique Armors: Splint mail, studded leather and sturdy shields of all shapes, sizes and mysterious backgrounds. Distinctive armors that can serve as the basis for family heirlooms, legendary artifacts and magical or masterwork weapons.

-Unique Armors, 1

-Unique Armors, 2

-Masterwork Armor Bonuses: Over a dozen homebrew armor improvements, enhancements and modifications created though superior craftsmanship. These masterpieces though more powerful than ordinary armor would not be considered “magic” or “+1” objects. 

-All Unique Minor Magic Weapons: A collection of flavourful weapons of artifact level quality suitable for low level characters. Much like the Minor Weapon Enchantments that some of them draw inspiration from, they provide small bonuses and combat options that are restrained by limited uses, niche situations or come with risky drawbacks. 

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 1

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 2

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 3 

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 4

-Minor Weapon Enchantments: A collection of minor bonuses that are weaker than a standard +1 weapons, as they come with trade-offs, risks, prerequisites, limited uses or niche benefits. These enchantments provide feat-like bonuses, low level class abilities, modify damage types, provide short bursts of power or replicate the effects of low levels spells. Rollable Minor Weapon Enchantments Table. 

-Random Weapon + Random Minor Weapon Enchantment.

-Random Unique Weapon + Random Minor Weapon Enchantment.

-All Minor Magical Items: Semi useful magical objects (If not always useful to an adventurer) that have little to no drawbacks associated with their use and are perfect for low level characters.

-Minor Magic Items, 1    /   -Minor Magic Items, 2

-Minor Magic Items, 3    /   -Minor Magic Items, 4

-Minor Magic Items, 5

-All Unique Weapons: Blades, bludgeons and bows of all shapes, sizes and mysterious backgrounds. Distinctive weapons that can serve as the basis for family heirlooms, legendary artifacts and magical or masterwork weapons.

-Unique Weapons, 1   /   -Unique Weapons, 2

-Unique Weapons, 3   /    -Unique Weapons, 4

-Unique Weapons, 5   /    -Unique Weapons, 6

-Unique Weapons, 7   /   -Unique Weapons, 8

-Unique Weapons, 9   /   -Unique Weapons, 10 

-Unique Weapons, 11   /   -Unique Weapons, 12 

-Masterwork Weapon Bonuses: Over 20 homebrew weapon improvements, enhancements and modifications created though superior craftsmanship. These masterpieces though more powerful than ordinary weapons would not be considered “magic” or “+1” weapons. Compatible with Pathfinder, D&D 5e and other D20 systems. Rollable Masterwork Bonus Table

-Running the Numbers: On Balancing Homebrew Masterwork Weapon Bonuses

-Random Weapon + Random Masterwork Weapon Bonus.

-Random Unique Weapon + Random Masterwork Weapon Bonus.

-Wild Magic Surges: A collection of Wild Surge options for DMs and PCs who find the published tables limiting, repetitive or boring, three things wild magic by definition, should never be. Rollable Wild Magic Surge Table.

-All Sealed Glass Vials: Faulty potions, weak elixirs, alchemical supplies, spell components, ritual elements, enchanting materials, crafting ingredients and magically preserved biological samples.

-Sealed Glass Vials, 1   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 2

-Sealed Glass Vials, 3   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 4

-Sealed Glass Vials, 5   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 6

-Sealed Glass Vials, 7   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 8 

-Sealed Glass Vials, 9

-All Books: An eclectic library of dusty tomes, fictional textbooks, pocketbooks, paperbacks, hardcovers, booklets, leaflets and magical manuals.  

-Trinkets, Books, 1   /   -Trinkets, Books, 2 

-Trinkets, Books, 3   /   -Trinkets, Books, 4

-Trinkets, Books, 5   /    -Trinkets, Books, 6

-Trinkets, Books, 7   /    -Trinkets, Books, 8 

-Trinkets, Books, 9 

-All Rings: Enough rings and bands to wear three on every finger and toe while still having dozens to spare. These small circular pieces of gems, metal, wood or bone always add more to the story than the sum of their parts. 

-Trinkets, Rings, 1   /    -Trinkets, Rings, 2

-Trinkets, Rings, 3

-All Cloaks: A collection of unique descriptions of cloaks for DM’s to give to their players as magical or mundane loot and for players to use during character creation to help flesh out their personal style.

-Cloaks, 1

-All Necklaces: Pendants, amulets, lockets, chokers and other “Neck Slot” jewelry that grant an immediate glance into the bearer’s personality, wealth, rank or social class and often serves as an iconic part of that character’s look. While a locked metal torque can instantly mark the bearer a penniless slave and a string of lustrous pearls mark their owner a flauntingly wealthy noble, so can an adventurer’s necklace mark them as a creature to bestow quests upon.

-Trinkets, Necklaces, 1   /   -Trinkets, Necklaces, 2

-Trinkets, Necklaces, 3

-All Artifacts: Artist masterpieces, rare magics and opulent combinations of jewels and precious metals. These objects can be found in the throne rooms of kings, the demiplanes of archmages and the pinnacle of a dragon’s hoard.

-Trinkets, Artifacts, 1

-All Valuables: More useful than regular trinkets, these items have either a clear purpose, a reliable ability or are made from a fairly costly material.  

-Trinkets, Valuable, 1   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 2 

-Trinkets, Valuable, 3   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 4

-Trinkets, Valuable, 5   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 6

-Trinkets, Valuable, 7   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 8

-Trinkets, Valuable, 9   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 10

-All Trinkets: Interesting baubles or semi magical items that have little to no practical in game or mechanical use for an adventurer.

-Trinkets, First

-Trinkets, 1   /   -Trinkets, 2   /   -Trinkets, 3

-Trinkets, 4   /   -Trinkets, 5   /   -Trinkets, 6

-Trinkets, 7   /   -Trinkets, 8   /   -Trinkets, 9

-Trinkets, 10   /   -Trinkets, 11   /   -Trinkets, 12

-Trinkets, 13   /   -Trinkets, 14   /   -Trinkets, 15

-Trinkets, 16   /   -Trinkets, 17   /   -Trinkets, 18

-Trinkets, 19   /   -Trinkets, 20   /   -Trinkets, 21 

-Trinkets, 22   /   -Trinkets, 23   /   -Trinkets, 24

-Trinkets, 25   /   -Trinkets, 26   /   -Trinkets, 27 

-Trinkets, 28   /   -Trinkets, 29   /   -Trinkets, 30

-Trinkets, 31   /   -Trinkets, 32   /   -Trinkets, 33

-Trinkets, 34   /   -Trinkets, 35   /   -Trinkets, 36

-Trinkets, 37   /   -Trinkets, 38   /   -Trinkets, 39

-Trinkets, 40   /   -Trinkets, 41   /   -Trinkets, 42

-All Worthless Trinkets: Vaguely interesting garbage, vendor trash and junk loot. Not magical or mysterious like regular trinkets or worth anything more than a copper piece or two even if you could find someone to buy it in the first place.

-Trinkets, Worthless, 1   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 2 

-Trinkets, Worthless, 3   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 4

-Trinkets, Worthless, 5   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 6

-Trinkets, Worthless, 7   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 8

-Trinkets, Worthless, 9   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 10 

-All Mottos: Whether they’re called adages, maxims or creeds, these simple statements are essentially promises made to oneself, family, or institution. A character’s motto can be a goal in itself or a moral anchor that centers his life and guides his action. A mixed collection of real life and fictional mottos that can aid a DM to quickly expand the history of the campaign or to aid a PC in a richer character creation.

-Mottos, 1   /   -Mottos, 2   /   -Mottos, 3

-Mottos, 4   /   -Mottos, 5   /   -Mottos, 6

-Mottos, 7   /   -Mottos, 8   /   -Mottos, 9

-Mottos, 10   /   -Mottos, 11

-Battle Cries: Simplistic and bone chilling warcries, complex and inspiring calls to arms and primal wordless screams of rage that shakes the enemy down to their iron-shod boots. A collection of simple phrases, threats, insults and violent promises for creatures to yell before and during combat to add verbal spice to each attack.

-Battle Cries, 1   /   -Battle Cries, 2   /   -Battle Cries, 3

-Battle Cries, 4   /   -Battle Cries, 5  /   -Battle Cries, 6

-Battle Cries, 7

-All Reference Tables: When a trinket calls for a Random Weapon, Random Color or Random Godly Domain and you can’t think of one offhand, just go here and either roll a die or select one of your own choosing.

—Keep reading for all reference and resource tables.

Keep reading

Allison: so... Klaus... What are you planning on doing not the apocalypse is over?

Klaus: SoOo glad you asked meine sister. I have decided to start living my best life 💕 with my in heritance I'm going to revamp my look 👗💇 I'm going to pimp this dusty ole housy up ☝️🏚️ until it ✨SpArKLEs 💖

Allison: how ar-

Klaus: I'm going to be the new me! Sister dear. 🍬 Sweet as suger 🍬I'm going clean going to up my game 🎮. Love ❣️ life 💗 to the fullest 🥰

Allison: FIVE!!! KLAUS IS SPEAKING IN EMOJI AGAIN

Five: *shaking like a rabid cat* iTs the FucKInG ApoCAlypse AGaiN. It's fucking starting. First bastard sign.

It is a chronic illness 🥺

Being British is having a BBQ in the rain because it's summer god dammit.

The main thing I get from Dylan Hollis cooking old recipes is this:

Recipes from the 1910s and the Great Depression are great, and I suspect it’s because they were made by someone with limited resources. But they found a way to make something good, maybe even something fantastic with those limited resources, and they wanted to write it down and share with their friends so that they could also make something out of saltines and potatoes. Recipes from the 1910s and the Great Depression are written down and shared in love.

The recipes you should fear come from the 1950s and 1960s, which I’m pretty sure are written down and shared as a form of McCarthyism.

this is a far too serious, unfunny comic about spock & bones playing scrabble. i made it for ME and ME ALONE