She Edge Me For Miles For All Im Worth Til I Rise Like A Phoenix. Wright

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

he'll still always be German in my mind

guys what's your methods? personally i think about doctors examining me, works like a charm

If Ford didn't got into the portal..

Truster - English translation of one of the short stories in the Ace Attorney Fanbook

I uncovered THE most insane pieces of 'official content' I have ever seen, and I needed to translate the whole short story because more people need to know it exists. It is legitimately more charged than most fanfiction portrayals.

The scene is primarily the hospital sequence from Bridge to the Turnabout (3-5).

As it is quite long, I had to upload it directly to AO3, so you can read it here

No word of a lie, this OFFICIAL CONTENT includes, as a TLDR:

Miles Edgeworth thirst trap.

The fact that apparently 'unnecessary feelings' have upgraded to 'deep feelings'

The line "If you’re within my reach, I’ll do everything within the power of my body and soul to save you" - which is also thought about whilst naked.

Miles Edgeworth jumping a queue, slamming down his government ID card, and absolutely pulling rank on a receptionist by threatening to mobilise the entire police force unless she tells him where Phoenix is.

Miles Edgeworth being willing to use an elevator in order to see Phoenix quicker.

Miles Edgeworth running around a hospital like an absolute lunatic.

Miles Edgeworth intently watching Phoenix as he sleeps.

Both of them described as gazing into each other's eyes nearly every other sentence.

THIS SEQUENCE???

Wright smiled and extended his hand towards Miles, who he thought hadn’t changed at all since he was last in Japan.  “Welcome home… I’ve missed you.”  Miles clasped his hand and pulled Wright’s upper body upright. Both parties were now in a sitting position on the bed. Their gazes were at a level height.  “What an incredibly sappy thing to say…

An Aristotle quote describing them as soulmates.

Miles Edgeworth chewing Phoenix the hell out for his lack of self preservation.

Miles Edgeworth stroking Phoenix's back to comfort him during a coughing fit.

Phoenix Wright, through tears, clasping Miles Edgeworth's hands and begging him to take his badge because "you're all I have."

I will never recover from this.

“ships should at least make sense.” no. ships can make sense, sure. but they’re just fictional characters we play with for fun. they’re fantasies, not a fucking thesis paper. so no, they don’t always have to make sense. they just have to make you happy (or horny).

let people enjoy (fictional) things however they want to enjoy.

trying something and being very late as always mmm

Important Things I Learned From Ace Attorney Manga:

Pearl has a crush on Miles Edgeworth…and a thing for guys wearing glasses

Miles gets invited to movie premiers

And only attends because he would find it rude not to

Manfred von Karma has fortuneteller friend who is close enough to merit Franziska doing them a favor

Which means Franziska has worked as a fortune teller called Madame Lovetap

A zealous religious cult follows Franziska in hope she will whip their inner demons into submission

Diego Armando is bi - canon

Miles has tried a case while in a state of undress rather than let the case go awry

He was acting as a defense attorney because Phoenix was out of commission at the time

Maya is into girls - canon. Legit attracted to Pink Princess

Some bullshit fortune teller who reads your future from how you lick soft serve ice cream predicted Phoenix’s ignoble career change

Even after knowing him like three years, Maya still calls him Harry not Larry

Miles’ sense of duty has him investigating open-and-shut cases

Miles has saved Gumshoe’s job

Miles lies to witnesses about having evidence to get them to testify

Miles actually tries to help Phoenix just like Klavier does for Apollo, he’s just more of a smirking ass about it

Miles is a fan of the Sparkle Land mascots

Miles and Phoenix have stood in for said mascots in a stage show

Phoenix finds nervous nailbiting sexy. You do you, Phoenix Wright. You do you

Phoenix’s type is Murder Suspect, let’s be real

Wendy Oldbag can smell Miles Edgeworth approaching

Miles falls asleep in movie theatres

When Phoenix springs on Miles that Miles is buying everyone lunch, Miles is just like “damn if I’d known then we would have had fancier lunch”

Even Miles can’t recognise Phoenix when his hair isn’t spiked

Nobody but Phoenix can recognise Miles when he’s not wearing his cravat

Phoenix bribes Gumshoe with food to find out how Miles is doing

Miles lies about a crime and evidence to try to keep Pearl from learning that a movie she was watching has a sad ending

Miles let Gumshoe talk him into a blind double date with a woman, and hated every moment of that date

Miles, Gumshoe, Phoenix, and Larry have outings they call a group date

Miles watches the autopsies for his cases

Miles would let a grieving kid stab him for prosecuting his dad

Miles envies Phoenix his fun investigations

Miles fights a bear to save Maya

Miles has a hard time saying “thank you” - he fought the bear because he found this an easier way to express his thanks

Miles always loses drinking contests

Miles goads Phoenix and Maya into bickering for his entertainment

Franziska’s whips come from sex shops

Franziska whips her food instead of using a knife

Miles has pollen allergies from spring flowers

Miles is the friend who goes to concerts for music he doesn’t even like to spare Gumshoe from going alone

Gumshoe is the kind of person who buys gifts for a friend even when he’s broke

Miles doesn’t go to maid cafes - but does go to samurai cafes

Miles has considered opening a prosecutors cafe 

Miles replaced his sportscar with a rickshaw

Maya and Pearl really want Phoenix to adopt a cat

Phoenix has instead put a cat on the stand. At least the parrot could talk, get your shit together Phoenix

Phoenix has thought about getting his drivers license because he’s envious of Miles’ car

Mia has a theory that Phoenix must have a twin and that’s who she defended in her second case

Maya can channel the living, and has channeled Gumshoe