Happiness Is A Journey!

Yeah now we've entered the back pain stage

It's hard being an INFJ

(Note: may not relate to all INFJs)

We are rare and of course that is something to be proud of and sure we always make people happy but… doesn’t mean we are always happy.

We are known as old souls because of multiple reason. We are loners, we love learning… etc. It’s hard for us to make friends. Sure we like to solve other people’s problems but, we find it difficult to find someone who understands US and the problems WE face.

I have faced where I want to meet other people although I am shy because I always felt whenever I talk to someone that… I guess it’s as if they don’t understand. I always felt like I was on a searching hunt for a friend who relates to me. My best friend is a ENFP which are total opposites which makes us the best of friends and although I have her as my BFF, I always end up feeling alone and alienated in this world.

Another thing is, when I have feelings about something, they are deep. If I am sad, I cry until I cannot shed anymore tears and sometimes I end up getting a bloody nose from crying so hard. If I get mad, I would scream and shout if I could but, one thing I do is that I never show it in public. I always held in my emotions and waited until I was in a place where I could be alone so I could express that emotion.

Apparently there is this thing called “The INFJ Door Slam” and as I read of it, I found it to be true. If a person keeps hurting my emotions, I won’t be able to stand it and I admit, I wish I was stronger enough to tolerate it. Instead we try to confront the person about the problem and if they won’t listen, BAM! Instant door slam meaning, I cut all ties from that person to feel no more emotional pain and the reason why I say it’s true is because I have faced that first handedly.

I hate attention. Like, I guess I just want some friends who will just appreciate what I do but, I don’t expect this whole festival for me as they do this dancing ceremony for me. A nice thank you would be enough. I don’t know about the other INFJ’s but I get very awkward around people who give me presents. Like, I do appreciate it but, I always have the urge of thinking that I have to give them a gift back to thank them for the gift they gave me. It’s a confusing cycle.

Another thing, I enjoy being alone instead of an awkward situation and I am very independent but, at the same time, I want to have people in my live that makes me not so lonely and work together with them.

I know that I am the type of person that thinks. I would just stare off and think of all this stuff I never got a chance to think about. A lot of people, when they talk to me, find me more mature for my age. When they first meet me, they think may think I am a few years older then I am (between 2-5 year difference) and then I tell them and complete shock runs through their face. It’s mainly because as a teen, they would never imagine a teenager talking about. For example, everyone I see dates around me. Although I find it adorable, I have no interest in dating at this age because a) I view that I am too young to date and too… I guess too naive to start dating and getting to know someone I might want to marry when I have the difficulty on understanding myself let alone add another person on that plate of emotional reck b) dating is more of getting to know that person to see if you both are… I guess compatible for marriage and I am not ready for any of that like how I said in point a. I would list more but, I’m pretty sure you get the point…

Yeah… that’s some of the things… I don’t think I hit all but, it was me expressing something as a INFJ faces everyday.

There is love in holding and there is love in letting go.

Elizabeth Berg (via sunsetquotes)

girls don’t want boyfriends they want a chris evans buzzfeed puppy interview

The things she says that sounds like ‘I love you’ without saying it.

Love in the Dark

I don't think I will be able to read again. I don't think I can bear another heartbreak. Despite the pain I am feeling, I will live & love in the dark.

i told my mom how i felt like shit when my cousins made fun of my insecurities and she told me that i should grow up and not be offended bc it was a joke lol idk anymore

read literature. be present. make love. make tea. write a poem. cry. watch a sappy movie that makes you want to throw things at it. paint your nails. cook something. call your best friend. learn an instrument. wonder. take a bath. go for a walk. lie down on the grass. listen to the entirety of ur favorite album from 2016. take pics of sunsets. ponder. shamelessly dance in your room. curl up on your bed. make endless wishes to the stars twinkling in the midnight sky. think about nothing. think about everything. think about things so hard that you barely remember what happened moments ago and why you’re feeling the way you do

huh. i just thought 'it's ok to not know what the hell is going on when you start learning something new' and it soothed my anxiety significantly

hollering at this so i can ignore the fact that they lost again 😭