*looking Into The Camera Like I'm On The Office*

some gingerbread mars love for today~

Fanfiction writers be like:

"here's the immensely time consuming 100K word novel-length passion project I'm working on between my real life job and family! It eats up hundreds of hours of my one and only life, causes me emotional harm, and I gain basically nothing from it! Also I put it on the internet for free so anyone can read if they want. Hope you love it!" :)

Thotbot trying to steal me from my man.

Whenever someone changes a pfp that they’ve had since like forever, i feel like they’re a different person

It’s scary

Well I have no need to change my pfp so you should be safe

I think the funniest part about the migration from tiktok to rednote is how americans are like "oh my gosh, our government lied to us, you guys are the same as us!" and chinese are like "holy shit, our government didn't lie to us, you really do live like this, i'm so sorry"

sweet boy

listening to Waco at full volume in the chamber

Customer: Anne Nonymous (anonymous)

Order: Photo Bomb, blended, with a lemon twist and pining pretzel bites

Ingredients: smidge of angst, fem!reader, epistolary blurb (written as a letter), one sided pining, reader is refered to as a girl, mention of the reader having a boyfriend

Total: $4.49 (449 words)

Want to make an order? Click here to browse our menu

Hi,

If you're reading this it means you found the note I slipped in your bag, and you're probably wondering why. The truth is I'm a coward. I don't have the courage to do this with you face-to-face so a letter it has to be.

I think about you all the time. When you told me your favorite song I listened to it on repeat. I wanted to know why it was your favorite, to know what made it special to you. Maybe that makes me sound like a creep. Maybe I am one.

It's like you carved out a part of my brain and made it your home. I think you're amazing. The kind of girl any guy would be lucky to have.

I remember the day we first met. I didn't even want to go to that party, Argyle and Eddie dragged me along. But then I saw you. You were standing in a corner all by yourself. You looked sad. I wanted to make you laugh and when I actually did it became my favorite sound. I wanted to make you laugh every day, forever. We talked all night tucked away in that tree house they had in the back. It was like something out of a movie.

I know it's unfair of me to do this, I promise I'm not trying to hurt anyone. But I think I might be in love with you.

I know what you're going to say. You have a boyfriend. I know. Just thinking about it, about him touching you the way I want to touch you, it makes me want to bang my head against a wall. He doesn't deserve you. I shouldn't say that, but it's the truth. Granted, I'm not sure I deserve you either.

I know you’re happy with him and I'd never want to take that away from you. But I couldn't hold this in any longer. It's selfish, it's so selfish. The plan was to never tell you and just hope that one day I could move on but I couldn’t keep holding onto this secret. I would have burst.

I had to tell you. Just in case there was even a small, miniscule, improbable chance that you felt the same. If you don't, I understand. You can just throw away this letter and we’ll pretend it never happened. Everything can go back to the way it was. I won't hold it against you, I just want you to be happy. But if you do feel the same, if there is even a part of you that does, then meet me at Lovers Lake tomorrow at six.

I'll be waiting for you.

Yours,

Jonathan

A/N: Heres something short and sweet for you anon, I hope you like it! Thank you for coming to Gia's Bar of Blurbs! Don't forget your reciept! ♥️

Gia’s Gems: @bettyfrommars @ali-r3n @devilinthepalemoonlite @aunicornmademedoit @allthingsjoeq

@etherealxwitch @steves-babysitter @starksbabie @lavendermunson

@jamdoughnutmagician @keeksandgigz @abitchyouhate

university is like a video game. you can pick up sidequests. Youre gonna neglect the main storyline. youre gonna end up in a guild of sorts. i just looted a bush on campus and found a sticker

All jokes aside, it's possible that JD Vance killed the pope.

When an elderly person comes down with a serious illness, for the sake of their recovery, indeed their survival, they are supposed to avoid anything that may strain their weakened systems.

They are meant to avoid stress.

Which is probably at least part of the reason why Pope Francis sent his second to speak to JD Vance instead of doing it himself.

And Then... JD VANCE INSISTED TO SPEAK TO THE POPE HIMSELF.

Knowing that the pope was still recovering from PNEUMONIA at his advanced age.

Still, like an entitled american, he demanded to speak to the pope himself. Despite having been met by his political equal in status, it wasn't good enough for JD Vance.

It just might have been the final straw for an elderly man who was fighting off a serious infection to have to take the time out of his already busy schedule.

The complete lack of empathy that JD Vance brought to the Vatican, that he had already been scolded for by the leadership of the religion he claims to follow, can very easily be considered a contributing factor at the very least.

It's not a stretch to theorize the pope might have survived had JD Vance not come calling.

The jokes are funny and all... but...