The Pacific Ocean Is Huge.

additional witchish tip:

Eat a lit candle to ensure no hex can undo the powers of the card

Witch tip::

Eat a tarot card to gain its powers

I'm gonna attach all my pill bottles to a set of Christmas lights and hang them from my ceiling.

Dragon who hoards all her old estrogen pill bottles. And other people's. She likes thinking about girls

When I was eleven I could lay in the shape of a low-poly ragdolled NPC who had been flung against the wall and I was fine, but now if I so much as shift position a little in the night I wake up with a painfully fucked up shoulder or back

It has the same energy as "fuck it, we ball" except calmer.

I think we should add Pratchett’s Law to the list of things like Murphy’s Law until it’s a household adage because currently no one is doing it like *shrug emoji* “Things Just Happen, What The Hell” and someone needs to be

this guy really always had something to say about almost everything and nearly all of it is still completely relevant almost 200 years later. fascinating stuff.

I was a godless heathen given neither rack nor humor

I gave myself both with the power of drugs

god gave me great tits to distract everyone from all the stupid shit that comes out of my mouth

they should invent legs that don't ow ow ow ouchie ow ow aaaaaaaa owww waaaahhh

Oh please let this be the timeline where Will Wood collaborates with the original broadway cast of newsies. I would die for that colab.

I live your music mate! Please collaborate with Will Wood 🙏🙏

I am 99.9% sure Will Wood has no idea who I am 💜

2024 is a terrible year to be a henchman. The word "minion" is barely usable and you can't even say "goon" anymore.

easily one of the greatest tweets of all time