What Nobody Tells You About Transition Is The Totality Of It. Once You Dig Into Gender And Start Expressing

what nobody tells you about transition is the totality of it. once you dig into gender and start expressing the way you want, you'll start to find the marks of discomfort littered around the rest of your life. you'll notice how you were never living for yourself, just following the guidelines laid out for you.

as soon as you disengage that autopilot, you're on your own. you have to decide what is actually best for you. you have to question every decision you've ever made because they were all made by someone trying to play by the rules, rules whose application will kill you.

in the year-and-change since starting my transition, I have completely changed everything about my presentation, I changed how I talk, how I carry myself, how I interact with people. I changed the company I keep, I moved cities, I abandoned a career path I had been pursuing my entire life. I lost friends, made new ones, started engaging with types of media I had never been interested in before.

there's a life on the other side of transition, and you have to claw it back piece by piece. I will never stop transitioning into who I'm supposed to be because every time I get closer, I realize there's more I still need to change.

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punkpegan

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chivalry is my complete and utter weakness. holding my hand and guiding me through a crowd; gently pushing at others that are squeezing me in. good morning texts, good night texts, "I'll be gone for a bit, but I'll text you later" texts. holding doors open for me-- hand on the small of my back as I enter. pushing the grocery cart. fixing my hair. picking up my bag without question when I'm sore. leading in front in haunted houses and holding me during scary movies. "No, don't worry, I got it." "Talk to me, love; I'm here." "He said what to you? Ooh, I'll be right back." making sure I'm fed, making sure I feel okay. beacon of safety-- an unspoken you won't be harmed when I'm near.

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punkpegan

7 months ago

Dark Eco

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punkpegan

5 months ago

genuinely so scary that you can't access the page on the ssc website that guides you through changing your sex designation. so so fucking scary. they are already making our lives harder. they are already taking what little resources we have.

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punkpegan

3 months ago

Should my body be making those sounds at 23? Probably not.

My body is a crumbling castle of sand and I don't know when the tide will roll in.

Memento Mori

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punkpegan

3 months ago

this guy really always had something to say about almost everything and nearly all of it is still completely relevant almost 200 years later. fascinating stuff.

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punkpegan

3 months ago

every time a trans girl infodumps me abt something they're passionate about i cant help but i fall in love a little bit

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punkpegan

6 months ago

can someone hurt me so that the Pain that is Hot can distract me from the Pain that is Chronic

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punkpegan

6 months ago

There will be a lot of posts soon from people sharing how much they achieved in 2024. But in case someone needs to hear this, it's okay if the only thing you did this year was just get through it.... It's ok.

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punkpegan

5 months ago