But... But... I Need To Do Things. ;-;

If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.

Kinda wanna be a girl but I'm 6'4" and built like a linebacker. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You can be a girl you can always be a girl there’s no kind of body that unable to be a girl you need to become a girl

chivalry is my complete and utter weakness. holding my hand and guiding me through a crowd; gently pushing at others that are squeezing me in. good morning texts, good night texts, "I'll be gone for a bit, but I'll text you later" texts. holding doors open for me-- hand on the small of my back as I enter. pushing the grocery cart. fixing my hair. picking up my bag without question when I'm sore. leading in front in haunted houses and holding me during scary movies. "No, don't worry, I got it." "Talk to me, love; I'm here." "He said what to you? Ooh, I'll be right back." making sure I'm fed, making sure I feel okay. beacon of safety-- an unspoken you won't be harmed when I'm near.

The Pacific Ocean is huge.

Romanticizing your own loneliness and turning it into a cool girl thing only works for like a few months and then it just becomes a throbbing black hole i think. Not that ive ever experienced anything like that

*wakes up during ball removal* hey doc- can you put those in a jar for me?

BCBS: Yeah if your surgery takes longer than our admin staff with no medical training thinks it should, you have to pay out of pocket for the anesthesia.

UHC CEO: [assassinated in the street]

BCBS: ... You know we were just joking about that anesthesia thing ha ha we would never. We love keeping our brains inside customers happy.

big ole comic about adult ADHD diagnosis + big feelings + making sure childhood me is okay

they want you to make fried rice