Beautiful Women Named Extreme Heat Warning Keep Blowing Up My Phone

Every time I rewatch breaking bad I’m completely STUNNED by how fast Walt resorts to cooking meth to pay his medical bills. He doesn’t try literally anything else before resorting to meth. He finds out he has cancer and then immediately contacts the first meth dealer he can find and is like “let’s be partners.” Like I cannot emphasize enough that cooking meth was Walter White’s FIRST resort, not his last. His old college friends even offer him an executive position at an immensely successful business he helped found so the health insurance would cover most of it and his pay would more than cover the rest, and he turns it down because he doesn’t want “handouts.” The story of breaking bad is about Walters descent into immorality and depravity but he really fucking hurtles off the diving board at the first chance he got and ignored the people throwing him life preserves.

Wild that folks keep saying beekeepers abuse bees as if bees are not both venomous flying animals and fully unionized

I need you all to understand this kid is like 8 at the oldest and has that sleepy nasally little kid voice which makes this far funnier

Currently watching a play and I’m fairly certain the little kid behind me just said (completely unprompted) “what the skibidi”

btw the thing she couldn’t ignore was someone calling her out for saying anti-depressants/hormone therapy are only perscribed by lazy doctors

im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to 

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

its incredibly funny to me that the rest of the internet thinks tumblr is some sort of internet deadzone but every reference they make can be traced back to this website somehow. they dont think they’re quoting a tumblr post from 2011 but they are. they think they came up with goncharov but don’t know it started with a fucking shoe

Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.

very good things

when i look at my dog and exclaim “kisses you!” and she comes over so I can give her a kiss on the face

when i look at my dog and exclaim “kisses me?” and her tail goes ballistic as she smooches my face ecstatically 

my dog

As an american (unfortunately) I can confirm this is 100% accurate. Uhh yeehaw guns and sodium

if i ever write something set in the united states im just going to do zero research whatsoever and make stuff up to sound cool it’s equality