Don't Know If You Wanted Inputs To The Ask About Hulknussen Animals, But I Seem To Recall Kevin Being

I'm not interested in who these yellow flags, safety cars and red flaga benefit. We can talk about the biases and race-fixing another time.

But I am not about to sit by and watch the stewards set drivers in genuine danger because they aren't willing to call these things the way they should be. Nico being left on track during the sprint under yellows, yellows being kept out for an insanely long time for Lance on a wet track.

We don't want to see driver safety improved by handing out penalties for contact with no consequences. We want to see drivers at genuine risk being cared for. And yes, that means drivers other than the FIA's darlings who bring in the big engagement.

Kmag and Nico committed absolute atrocities in a team wid the aerodynamic budget of 3 unripe peaches, a pit wall that cud be assembled by a child, a pit crew that was sometimes uncertain of constituted, in fact, a tire, an unhinged team principal who called them 'wankers' on several occasions, an energy drink sponsor that branded itself #BetterThanRedBull , was not available for purchase anywhere in this mortal realm, and whose twitter acc called the haas car ((that haas was paying it to sponsor)) a MILK float. They saw that and accepted the vision, not because they hoped for wins, or podiums, or God forbid, a working race strategy, they did that because that was America's team. That was gene haas' dream. Because in Canada, 2024, they sent both drivers out in full wets, overtook half the grid, and then immediately fucked it all up wid an 8 second pit stop. 10 cars in 6 laps. For nothing. Neither of them even finished in the points. Kmag told Nico to suck his balls in 2017 and 4 years later Nico wud park himself in front of bitches just so Kmag wud go ahead and target the men in front of him like he worked for Lockheed martin. This was perhaps one of the most important, significant, life altering driver pairings of current Formula 1. And I thank them for their service, and I´ll never forget it.

i take back everything i said fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck let that swedish boy through

so help me indycar gods one more event of bad luck on andretti and i become a palou fan idc

My humble suggestions to make F1 more interesting

In the light of the recent rumors about the FIA trying to manipulate the races in order to get more ratings, here are my totally awesome suggestions to make the races more interesting for the viewers.

obligatory disclaimer : those are jokes.

1. Add the Mario Kart blue shell

With the blue shell, you wouldn't have to worry about a race being uninteresting because one of teams has built a rocketship! Now you might be wondering how that would be doable, because how do you get an actual blue shell to only hit one driver? To that I answer, "sweetheart, give me your hand, and let me enlighten you with this name : Kevin Magnussen". Our dear K-mag won't be on the grid next year, and since we'll all miss him dearly, I think we should give him a blue kart and tell him to take out the race leader. He would be released once during the race, in a very random moment (that would be decided through 'google, give me a random number between 1 and 67') and the moment he is out a loud radio voice should announce "WE HAVE UNLEASHED THE MAGNUSSEN" in order to stress everyone out.

2. Add Horns

I know I'm not the only who has thought of this, because the CarCar beef would have been so much funnier if Oscar was allowed to just hit the horn at Carlos. Or the other way around, considering Carlos is a Mediterranean.

I believe that the one who'd abuse this the most would be Fernando, who, if he were to be passed by another driver, would push the button hard enough to spook them and gain his position back. We'd get him to win a race again with this, think about it!

Also, as an exception, Yuki's horn should be customed so that when it is pushed, it doesn't make a "beep" but a loud "FUCK" sound. He should be the only one allowed to do this.

3. Let them hear each other

I think they should just be all allowed to communicate together during the race, the way they do it with their engineers.

Now do I think it's doable? Probably not. Do I think that would be productive? Absolutely not. Do I believe the FIA would decide to remove this option 3 laps into a race? Totally.

But the entertainment value would be so high, because I refuse to believe anyone who says they wouldn't want to hear the Checo-Liam beef in live. Also, I think Carlos should have heard Oscar say "typical Carlos" as he said it. Now that would be fun.

No more team orders, if a driver wants to swap position with his teammate, he has to convince him with everyone being able to hear them.

I also believe that Charles and Max should be given this option anyway, since Max has decided to talk to Charles alone in his own car.

4. Settle the penalties through fistfights

I've seen people talk about how it is problematic to have different stewards at every race, because it makes the decisions taken incoherent. George believes permanent stewards would solve the issue. I believe that when two drivers collide, they should be allowed to fistfight in front of the arena, and the loser gets the penalty. That would especially funny in Vegas, with Bruce Buffer as the commentator.

Also, an exception would be made for one specific situation: if Lewis and Fernando collide, they have to hug, and the first one to let go looses and gets the penalty.

5. The team who gets tenth position in the constructors should get sold to One Direction

I have no arguments other than the fact that the team could use the money anyway, since they won't get much from the constructors.

6. Make the read fanfics for each penalty point they get

Remember this post where I suggested that Haas should have made read K-mag self-insert fanfics for every point he gets on his licence? Well I've changed my mind, I think every driver should have the chance to do it, in public, if they want to get out of a penalty. The higher the penalty is, the cringer the fic gets.

7. Find a solution to the lestappen followgate

Everyone and their mothers has been asking for one thing and one thing only : a Lestappen title fight. I think Charles could use some motiviation, so here us my humble suggestion : tell him that if he wins, Max has to follow him on Instagram. If he loses, it's the other way around. Believe me, this diva couldn't take it and would tranform whatever atrocity-car Ferrari gives him into a rocket. He's done it before for the sake of winning, believe me he'll do it again to get Max to follow him.

Thank me later.

okay now i'm curious:

reblog to reach more corners of sportsblr and do tag which sport your response is based on <3

by play/take part i don't necessarily mean at any competitive level -- for example i mostly blog about pro cycling, am part of a local cycling club and enjoy riding for both leisure and exercise so i voted yes even though i don't race yet

will buxton i find your love of twinkies and twizzlers incredibly endearing but that does not mean i want to hear ferruccis comments on it

this is what you stole from me

no it 100% was :[

whyd that commercial kinda look like ai or am i tweaking

In front of my timeline?