Pistachiophobia - Pistachio

Isa: You're a horrible roommate and nobody in this house likes you. Kai: Let's rephrase our statements with 'If you do this, it makes me feel this'. Try it, Isa. Isa: When you live here, it makes me feel angry. Kai: Isa: Because you're a horrible roommate and nobody in this house likes you.

Isa: Are pancakes just pan cakes? Jake:Excuse me? Isa:Think about it, what if we were doing it all wrong? Jake:This is why you need friends.

what’s it called when you just wanna lay down but you have to get up.

I hope this energy is returned to her tenfold and she sees no peace in her lifetime.

Jake: So I’m thinking a spring wedding or maybe summer. I don’t want it to be too cold.

Isa: Jake, we’re not even engaged.

Jake:

Jake: thAT’S WHAT I FORGOT TO DO LAST NIGHT.

Jake: What do you think about my new sneakers?

Isa: What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think?

Jake: Do they look-

Isa: No, they don’t look “cool”.

Jake: I know what you’re up to, Isa.

Isa: Really? Because I barely know.

This is the same thing over and over again. Palestinians die every day, but it gets a lukewarm headline from mainstream media because death and destruction is inherent to Arabness. Then an aid convoy with white workers is obliterated, and now both the president of the United States and the president of Israel are making statements apologizing for “the poor protection of aid workers.” At one point we were seeing multiple reports a day of paramedics from the Palestine Red Crescent Society dying, but nothing. Crickets. Because they don’t care. And even in these “remorseful statements” there is a strategic reminder that white lives hold more weight than brown lives.

Jake: Isa, doctor! I've developed a double heartbeat since my operation.

Isa: Ah, so that's where my wristwatch went.

Jake: HOW- You’re freaking qualified!

i need to update my pfp or else ppl might think I’m a bot or smth. (autocorrect changed this to math).