I Get Laid Tomorrowwwwww

caesars assassination but with empty cardboard tubes

future archaeologists will know you were (not) a boy

Me: Okay guys remember that it’s important in improv to establish your characters at the beginning of the scene.

Students: ok

Student 1: Hello. I am the president of the United States.

Student 2: Hello madame president. I’m William Shakespeare and I’m here to assassinate you.

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

you know how people say soup is round and so it's messed up to put it in a square tupperware? that's how I feel every time I see a square watch