Pinkolaland - Untitled

this will be the year I finally convince everyone to abandon New Year's resolutions in favour of Yule Boasting, the clearly superior tradition

So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

suck, and i cannot stress this enough, my cock to the fucking base

future archaeologists will know you were (not) a boy

today my bf and i were talking about visiting my home for the holidays and i was (sadly) wondering aloud if i should cut my hair and our kid was like "why would you cut your hair??? your hair is cool" and not knowing how to explain it to him i said "my family doesnt think boys should have long hair" to which he went silent, wordlessly pulled out his phone and then swiftly held it out with a picture of keeanu reeves on his phone

ASMR videos being popular and sought-after has to be the world's biggest prank against me. I fundamentally refuse to believe any of that is enjoyable. Hearing it turns me into an animal that needs to attack you so hard for Making those noises inside my ears.

If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise 

ebb 'n eez 'er scrooge???? i hardly know 'er!

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"