Bird Like Wings Or Wings Made Of Nature

I really hate how I just can’t have a consistent goal or dream in my life.

As a kid I dreamed of being a veterinarian because I loved animals but eventually gave up on that because I lost that spark to actually care for them.

I mean it’s normal for that to happen but the thing is that I can barely take care of myself so I don’t trust myself enough to care for another living thing.

I had dreams in middle school to be a webcomic artist but I also lost the spark for it since I struggled to even pick up a pencil sometimes and often had art block.

Now currently I dream of being some form of popular/famous and find that Vtubers tend to be a hot topic on the internet so I’m like “Why not?”

But then I realized I’m nowhere near fucking stable to be a good streamer and would probably make my audience hella uncomfortable and not wanna watch my stuff. Plus I know I would get tired of fame very fast.

All in all I just want to be loved.

I want to be known and seen for what I am, but I know that’ll never be possible because I’m genuinely such a mess that I scare people and make them lose hope in me, and that’s not even exaggerating. My parents have said to me on quite a few occasions that they don’t know what to do with me anymore.

Idk maybe for all I know it could just be a case of me being young and aimless, but I won’t deny it’s the most frustrating shit ever.

😭💔🍉

‏I am Nour Walid from Gaza I am being subjected to genocide A 4 year old child needs food and clothes It has become very cold in the tents We have lost all our home and money since the beginning of the war Please help me including whatever you provide helps save my life and my family

https://gofund.me/aca98c3b

I usually don’t respond so quickly to things, and I unfortunately cannot donate due to being tight on funds, but I would HIGHLY encourage donating at least a few dollars to the people suffering under these conditions, Nour included.

In the meantime, here are some other sources you can use to help support the people in Gaza and other targeted areas.

(eSims to Buy to Aid in Internet Access in Gaza)

(Organization to Donate)

(Boycott Guide)

(Gaza News)

Al Jazeera

Gaza | Today's latest from Al Jazeera

Stay on top of Gaza latest developments on the ground with Al Jazeera’s fact-based news, exclusive video footage, photos and updated maps.

(Daily Clicks Support)

arab.org

Help Palestinian refugees with a Click

Please help deliver support to Palestinian families; all you have to do is to click once a day for free, every day!

Ok Jirais

I have a few contenders

Battle it out to see who comes out on top.

You ever feel like you’re just not as connected to anyone like you were previously?

Like you’re close with a certain set of people in the sense that you’ve known each other for so long and you’ve been through a lot with them, but you aren’t close with them in a sense that you can have a conversation and not let it die within a minute of talking.

This is how I feel everyday.

My friends, family, everyone. I feel connected to no one anymore, and the loneliness is actually starting to kill me deep down. Each day that passes, I feel myself becoming more and more clouded and desperate to feel at least a little closer to someone.

I’m tired of having these fantasies and other delusions that I am famous and loved and accepted like I want to be.

In fact, I’m hopelessly scrolling through stupid dating apps silently praying that I can get a connection with SOMEONE and maybe feel something other than numbness and guilt, but so far I’ve had no luck.

The internet is all I have, and if I were to lose that.. I think a part of me would die.

WARNING:

SH + STARVING

It wasn’t even worth the trouble. I feel nothing. All that it did was leave an ugly mark and leave a burning sensation.

Fuck I’m such a hideous thing. These scars make it even worse.

I wish I was thinner and flatter and prettier and had a nice smile and didn’t have this goddamn lazy eye everytime I take a photo.

I wish I didn’t have to resort to doing this to feel something good and relieving because nothing feels like it’s working anymore.

I don’t even know if I wanna eat rn. My parents are calling for dinner and I’m hungry but I’m so desperate to lose weight. I’ll do anything at this point.

I just wish I was born a different person.

WARNING:

SH MENTIONS

Genuinely scared to go to class because I feel like shit and I don’t wanna do anything today, especially after that fuckup I had yesterday. I hate how my scars look so much I wish I could just erase them.

Luckily I can cover them up but it doesn’t stop the fact that I know they’re there.

I don’t wanna go pretending like everything is normal because nothing is but… ugh I don’t want to bring suspicion to myself.

Why must I have a life?

I got my DearMyLove clothes just now!!!

Unfortunately the shirt was a little small but I have a theory that if I lose my big back and my chubby arms that it’ll fit better.

The skirt on the other hand fit perfectly.

There’s also some hair accessories I got which are in the right photo.

I have some shoes that might go with it but they’re heels so I’m not sure if it’s worth it.

Anywho I’m still happy it even came.

I guess now I have some motivation to lose all this extra weight I gained.

Fuck I was listening to a song that triggered a phantom shift and I felt like I had wings for the first time on my back.

I knew that it was just a phantom shift and it made me wanna start crying lowkey.

I know I’m not a picture perfect person and I know I don’t take care of myself that well, but fuck I’d be so happy if I just had wings. I promise that I will take care of them and tend to them and preen them just please let me have some.

I hate this human body of mine so much and everything that it entails. I wish I were made out of light and purity instead of out of the ribs of a pile of dirt.

I wish I were made an angel.

Holy shit I posted something as a silly little joke about chronically online discourse and then my notifications blew up for the past 2 or so days.

Now I managed to get 100 likes in the span of less than a week.

I just wanna say thanks for the recent support on my blog! Definitely have no regrets making this!

XOXO

･:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+

I already have a list of some of my faves but I don’t think I delved into specific songs so here we go :3

Jazmin Bean-Piggie, Carnage, Hello Kitty

Eyes Set to Kill-Broken Frames, Reach, All You Ever Knew

Sleeping With Sirens-If I’m James Dean Then You’re Aubrey Hepburn, A Trophy Fathers Trophy Son, Deja Vu

Pierce The Veil-A Match Into Water, Tangled in the Great Escape, Million Dollar Painter

Hollywood Undead- Own the Night, Gangsta Sexy, Coming in Hot

Attack Attack!-Smokahontas, Renob Nevada, Turbo Swag

Candye Syrup-Idol Death Ska, Sweet Suicide, Syrup

CORPSE-Code Mistake, Cat Girls Are Ruining My Life, Daywalker

Carolesdaughter-nobody’s favorite not even my own, Target Practice, My Mother Wants Me Dead

Nicole Dollanganger-Flowers of Flesh and Blood, Poacher’s Pride, Gold Satin Dreamer

MARINA(& the Diamonds)-Teen Idle, Primadonna, Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land

Ethel Cain-Head in the Wall, Ptolemea, Inbred

That’s all the ones I’ll name for now less I go on forever and ever lol

What r yalls fav songs and/or artists!