Trying To Write Fanfiction For The First Time Is So Humbling, It Feels Like I've Never Written Anything

i want to talk about my ocs but im literally this image. i got nothing

Being in fandom spaces is so surreal-

Bc once your age hits a 'serious' number, you start to think - "damn, I should probably stop geeking and get more serious." But then you scroll and see a 34y/o woman writing fics after driving her kids to school, a 40y/o dude making fanart of his fav super heroes and you realize - "nah, I'm actually good"

This is an appreciation post for the fanfic authors who aren’t included on rec lists

For the fanfic authors who don’t get art of their fics

For the fanfic authors who can’t get to 1000/500/100 hits

For the fanfic authors who don’t get comments/reviews

For the fanfic authors who write for small fandoms

For the fanfic authors who write rarepairs or gen fics

For the fanfic authors who get hate for the ships/characters/fandoms they write

For the fanfic authors who write in English despite it not being their first language

For the fanfic authors who don’t write in English

For the fanfic authors who don’t think anyone reads or likes their work

For the fanfic authors who aren’t big name fans

For the fanfic authors who don’t get requests in their inboxes

For the fanfic authors who can’t write stories that are more than a thousand words

For the fanfic authors who only write one ship

For the fanfic authors who are just starting

For the fanfic authors who have been writing fic for years

For the fanfic authors who use fanfic to practice writing

For the fanfic authors who write self-insert fics

For the fanfic authors who write about their OCs

For the fanfic authors who write to vent or cope

For the fanfic authors who are just waiting for their big break

Keep creating, I love you ❤️

OC Summaries

OC Summaries:

Spoilers up ahead

Mergil:

Personality type: ISTJ-T

Age: 19

Oldest adoptive son of Boromir.

He is fairly stern and grumpy on the outside, and is difficult to get to know

But the effort's worth it once you do get to know him, because he's an extremely loyal friend, and is really a big softie at heart

He is fiercely and protective of those he loves, and completely unafraid to get physical whenever he needs to

Mardil :

Personality type: INFP-T

Age: 17

Younger adoptive son of Boromir

He is shy, and very gentle, but can be very stubborn, and is extremely loyal

He shows his caring, compassionate side more than most boys, but he can be very stern when he needs to be

Although he's a little more reluctant to get physical, he will if he feels the situation calls for it

Cirion:

Personality type: ESTP-A

Adoptive son of Faramir

Age: 18

He has a reputation as a prankster and comedian, but will never, ever make jokes at someone's expense

He is very loving and affectionate, although it takes a while for him to show that side of himself

Like his cousins, he is very loyal and protective of those he loves, and can get very angry when someone he loves is hurt

Seb Ferguson-Daniels:

Personality type: INTJ-T

Age: 17

Nephew of Ben Daniels, twin brother of Archie

He is pretty artsy, and is good at drawing

He can be a bit goofy at times, but he is more serious than his brother Archie

He also likes country dancing, and is surprisingly good at it.

Archie Ferguson-Daniels

Personality type: ESFP-A

Age: 17

Nephew of Ben Daniels, twin brother of Seb

He is a lot goofier than his brother, and is good at music

He especially likes country music, and will happily play guitar for hours if left to himself

He is clumsier than his brother, but still enjoys country dancing, even if he is forever going the wrong way.

Both he and his brother are very protective of those they love, and are completely unafraid to get physical, even though neither are particularly strong, and will often end up getting the worst of the fight

Macie Ferguson-Daniels:

Sister of Seb and Archie

Age: 16

Personality type: INFP-T

She is very shy, but is slowly growing in confidence

She loves acting and singing, especially musical theatre

She is very supportive of her brothers, and very protective of them, despite being the youngest

She is very gentle, but if you make her angry - beware!

The twins have had to physically hold her back on several occasions

Corporal James Ashwood

He is in Colonel Forster’s regiment, and is a good friend of Denny’s. He is an amiable enough boy, but does not like to dance, and can often be seen playing cards instead. He also likes to play cricket and football, and is one of the best in the regiment. He is also very protective of any young lady he meets, even if he does not particularly like them, and he dislikes Wickham’s smooth ways and happy manners intensely, and does not trust him.

Me with my long LoTR fic

This is so beautiful! I'm super shy even around friends, so I loved reading this!❤❤❤

Quiet

Angst + Fluff

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Insecure!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

TW: Swearing, One lewd commment from some drunk asshole

Summary: You get insulted for being shy- Bradley comforts you.

Authors note: This is 1,000% how I picture Bradley reacting to having a shy girlfriend. *Cue protective Bradley*. 

Normally Oneshots aren’t my thing but I had fun with this one!

******************************************************

Keep reading

Maybe Things Are Looking Up

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Shy!Autistic!Fem!Reader

Summary: Your friend sets you up on yet another blind date, much to your annoyance.

Warnings/tags: Soft Bradley, age gap (reader is in their 20s), mentions of autism, implied sensory issues, Bradley being an absolute sweetheart, one implication of sex (blink and you miss it), mention of crying, lots of fluff, a bit of angst, implied low self-esteem (I think?), super self-indulgent, mentions of throwing up, mention of injuries (nobody gets hurt), one mention of dieting

A/N: I feel like I'm having way too much fun writing for soft Bradley. (Sorry, the writing's probably kind of clunky.)

***************************************************

A knock on the door makes you nearly jump out of your skin.

He's here.

Your heart is pounding as you take one last look in the mirror. You can't say you're impressed with what you see, but at least you look presentable.

It's very difficult to not trip as you rush down the stairs, already regretting wearing heels. They're very uncomfortable, and your balance isn't the best, so you normally opt for flats, but you want to make a decent impression.

For a moment, you consider hiding, saying you're sick, allowing yourself to break your ankle on these ridiculous heels.

Anything but go on this date.

Why, oh, why did Callie have to set me up with one of her pilot friends? you wonder, as you fumble around for your keys. Why does she even feel the need to set me up at all? I've told her time and time again that I'm resigned to the fact that I will be single for most of my adult life.

It takes you much longer than normal to unlock the door, mainly because your hands are shaking so badly that you can barely get the key in.

But once the door's finally open, you stare in shock at the man before you.

After all, it's not every day you see a guy with an 80s mustache, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and aviator sunglasses at your front door.

He should look absolutely ridiculous.

But he doesn't. Quite the opposite, in fact. He's very, very attractive. Unfairly so, you think.

Especially considering you're suddenly acutely aware that the colour on your dress doesn't really suit you, and neither does the style. You knew it didn't suit you when you picked it out, but you just pulled it on anyway in an act of rebellion, mainly because you didn't want to make a good impression.

Something you're sorely regretting, especially because you now feel extremely unattractive.

"Hey," he says. "Y/N, right?"

You nod, your mouth suddenly too dry to speak.

He holds out a hand. "I'm Bradley."

Why's he holding his hand out? You take it anyway, forcing a smile.

"You ready?" Bradley asks.

You nod.

He's surprisingly courteous, letting you hold onto his arm as he walks you to his car, and helping you in before getting in the other side.

"So, any ideas where you'd like to go?" he asks.

Oh, no. Your chest clenches with fear, and you shake your head, hoping you're not doing it too vigorously.

"How about the restaurant near the bar?" he suggests. "I've never been there, but I heard it's a nice place."

You nod, desperately hoping that he won't get mad at you for not speaking.

The rest of the drive is silent.

After he's parked the car, he turns to you. "These doors are a little tricky when you're not used to them. I'll get yours for you."

"Okay," you whisper. It's the first thing you've said all evening.

Once Bradley's helped you out, and locked the car, he offers you his arm.

"The restaurant's usually a little busy this time of day," he explains. "Callie'd never forgive me if I lost you on our first date."

You just nod as you take his arm, feeling more and more shy by the minute. You can tell that Bradley's trying to put you at ease, but you've already worked yourself up so much that you don't even know if it's possible for you to calm down.

***************************************************

Fortunately, you're seated very quickly. You have a feeling that it might have something to do with Bradley being so familiar with the staff, but you brush it off. He's probably just a friendly person.

Still, you're not complaining about being off your feet. Those heels were definitely a mistake.

"Do you want a menu, Y/N?" asks Bradley.

You almost jump out of your skin at the sound of his voice, and then nod, your face burning.

"Here." His hand brushes yours as he hands you one.

You manage a small smile as you take it.

You're not very hopeful as you read down the menu. While they look nice, none of the main courses sounds like something you'd eat. Normally, if you were out with a friend or your family, and you ran into a situation like this, you'd order off the children's menu, but you're too scared to here, in case Bradley thinks you're weird, or makes fun of you for it.

"So, what are you thinking?" asks Bradley.

You look up, wishing your throat wouldn't clench so. Hoping he won't think you're rude, you show him what you're ordering. Fortunately, some of the sides look okay, so you've decided to order a couple of them in lieu of a main.

"You sure that's all you want?" he asks. "You don't want a main?"

You nod.

Bradley leans forward, lowering his voice. "You know, if there's nothing you like, we can just go to another restaurant."

You shake your head. Tears begin pricking at your eyes as you try to find the words to explain, almost wishing he'd just snap at you. For some reason, his kindness is making you feel much worse than if he got annoyed, or yelled at you.

It takes some time, but you manage to push past the barrier between your brain and vocal cords. "It's - it's not that I don't like anything, I just - I'd prefer to order off the children's menu. It's just - more familiar territory."

"Hey, that's okay," says Bradley gently. "Was that all you were worried about?"

Not exactly. But you nod anyway.

"I don't mind you ordering off the kids' menu, and I'm not gonna make fun of you for it, okay? I just want to make sure you have a good time."

You manage a small smile. "That's - very kind of you."

Bradley smiles. "It's nothing."

As the server comes over to take your order, your nerves suddenly increase tenfold. You've always hated having to speak to order, but you've never really felt comfortable typing an order out and just showing it to the server, either.

"Hi, can I take your order?"

You don't even hear Bradley tell the server his order, because you're trying to plan out what you're going to say - and try and stir up the courage to actually say it.

Then you feel a hand on your arm, and your face burns as you realise that you haven't even acknowledged the server, and have in fact been staring into space for some time.

"Do you want me to order for you?" Bradley's voice is very soft, whether to try and calm you, or to save you from any more embarrassment, you're not quite sure.

You nod, feeling horribly guilty at ignoring the server, but not really knowing what to say.

But you do apologise to Bradley once the server's gone. "Sorry. I didn't mean to - sorry…"

"It's okay." Bradley's voice is still very soft. "You're nervous, I get it. You don't have to be sorry."

"But I embarrassed you."

Bradley shakes his head. "You didn't. And even if you had, I promise you I've been in worse situations."

"Like what?" You regret the words the second they come out of your mouth. Don't ask him about embarrassing situations, you idiot!

But, judging by the grin on his face, Bradley doesn't seem to mind.

"Well, there was this one time at The Hard Deck…"

At first, you're not really listening, mostly because you're still trying to shake off your embarrassment, but you soon get drawn in to the story, and by the time Bradley finishes, you're feeling much more at ease.

"Okay, here are your meals."

You feel yet another stab of fear. What if I make a mess? What if the texture of the food makes me throw up everywhere?

But you manage a small smile as the server hands you your meal.

You're both silent as you eat, you because you're trying not to spill everywhere, and Bradley - well, you're not really sure. Maybe he's not the type to talk while eating.

But then why did he suggest a restaurant for our date?

Fortunately, Bradley seems to understand that you're nervous, and doesn't push you to speak too much. You do notice him glancing at you several times, and you feel guilty for not being more chatty, but it feels like there's a massive barrier between your brain and your vocal cords, one that you just can't face pushing through.

"How's your dinner?" he asks.

You look up. "It's good, I guess."

He raises his eyebrows. "You sure?"

You nod. "Um - how's yours?"

He smiles. "It's good. What're you thinking for dessert?"

Oh, no.

It's not that you don't like sweet things. Or that you're dieting. You just don't want to risk making yet another mess. You've already dropped some food onto the floor, and you only just managed to fight your gag reflex when you accidentally chewed a piece of food too long.

"Um, I'm kind of full."

"Yeah, me too. They're pretty generous with the portions here." He must have noticed that you're feeling uncomfortable, because he adds softly, "Do you want to leave?"

You nod.

"Okay."

After he's signalled to the server that you're ready to pay, Bradley tells you that he's going to pay.

You don't feel entirely comfortable with him paying the entire bill, but before you can protest, he's already paid.

You wobble as you stand up, and Bradley hastily takes hold of your arm before you can fall.

"I'm never wearing heels again," you mumble.

He just smiles. "You're not used to them, I take it?"

You shake your head. "I don't really go out much. In fancy stuff, I mean." Or at all.

Just like on the way there, you're silent on the way back.

You've got a horrible feeling that you messed up, and now Bradley's angry with you. What if he wanted dessert? What if he wanted to stay longer? What if-

Before you know it, Bradley's pulling up outside your house.

"I'll get your door for you," he tells you.

As Bradley goes to get out of the car, you stop him.

"Um - look, I'm sorry I wasn't very chatty this evening. I just - sorry…"

"That's okay," he replies. "It's not your fault for being shy."

You shake your head. "I'm not just shy. I'm - look, I know I've been difficult pretty much the entire evening. And - I wish I could do something about it, but I can't, and-"

"Hey, what's all this about?" Bradley looks genuinely puzzled. "You weren't difficult."

"I was."

"How?"

You feel tears welling up, and you desperately try to force them back. "I didn't talk for most of the evening, I was messy with my food, and I was rude to a server. And now I've ruined your evening. I'm - I'm sorry."

Bradley doesn't reply immediately, and for one horrible moment, you wonder if he's angry with you.

You don't even realise you're picking at your hands, until Bradley takes your hands in his.

"Y/N," he begins softly. "You don't have to look at me, but please hear me out. You were not being difficult. That incident with the server was not your fault. If anything, it's on me. I should've made sure you were ready to order before the server came over."

You feel a couple of tears roll down your cheeks, whether from relief or something else, you're not really sure.

Bradley gently brushes them away. "I know you didn't talk much, but - I don't mind that. I know not everybody's a talker, and I'm fine with you using other ways to communicate if that makes you feel more comfortable. And I certainly don't mind if you're a messy eater. You don't have to look perfect, okay?"

You suddenly feel light, like a heavy weight's just been lifted off your shoulders. He's not mad?

"But it can't have been a fun evening for you."

Bradley's eyebrows pinch together. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, I just-" You pause, taking a breath. "I just - I feel like I have this bad effect on people - like I just jinx a night out and make it awkward and horrible when it doesn't have to be, because I'm just so socially inept."

"Oh, sweetheart. How often do you feel like that?"

You hang your head, trying hard to hide your tears. "Every day."

"I'm sorry. It must be hard."

You nod, almost wishing he wouldn't be so nice about it. It's hard enough trying to keep yourself together around people who don't really care, but it's nearly impossible around someone who does.

"Do you ever feel like that with Callie?" asks Bradley.

You shake your head. "She's the exception. We've known each other all our lives, so…"

"That's good."

You're both silent for a while. Bradley's started gently tracing patterns on your hands, which you're actually enjoying the feeling of.

"You know," he says, "tonight wasn't too bad."

"You think so?"

He smiles. "Yeah. I enjoyed your company. If it's okay with you, I'd like us to meet up again some time."

"For a date?"

"Only if you're comfortable with that."

You manage a small smile. "Okay. I - I'd like that. But - can we not do it in public?"

"Of course." Bradley gives your hand a gentle squeeze. "If that's going to make you feel more comfortable, then I'm fine with it."

You nod. "Thanks. You're - you're very kind."

"I try." He goes to open his door, but then stops. "You okay walking in those?"

That's when you suddenly remember you're wearing heels. Blushing, you shake your head. "I'll probably fall over."

"You want me to carry you?"

You shake your head again. "I'll just take them off."

He frowns. "I noticed some broken glass on the ground earlier. I don't want you stepping on it and hurting yourself."

Despite yourself, you giggle. "I guess you'll have to carry me, then." Not that I'm complaining.

Bradley just smiles and pats your arm, before getting out. "I'll get your door for you."

While he's going around the car to open your door, you arrange your handbag in your lap so that you'll be able to reach your keys easily. You haven't been carried in a long time, so you're a little nervous about how it might feel.

Bradley must have noticed that you're nervous, because he's very gentle as he lifts you, and makes sure you're completely comfortable before he starts walking. You're surprised at how easily he carries you, like you weigh nothing - and how safe you feel in his arms.

He doesn't seem to want to let you go. Even once he's right outside your front door, he still doesn't set you down.

"Um - I should be okay from here," you begin, rather nervously.

"I know," says Bradley. "But I was actually thinking it might be safer if I get you settled on your sofa, so you can get those shoes off, before you start walking. I don't have to if you're not comfortable with me being in your house, though."

That actually makes sense. "No, that's - that's fine."

It only seems to take a few seconds before Bradley has you in your house, and settled on the sofa. You take your shoes off with a sigh of relief.

"I am never wearing heels again."

Bradley chuckles. "You really hate those shoes, huh?"

You smile. "I guess so. I would get rid of them, but someone bought them for me, so it just wouldn't feel right to give them away, you know?"

"Yeah. I get that."

You stand up. "Um - Bradley?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For being so kind."

He shakes his head. "It's nothing. I'm just glad you had a good time."

You nod, suddenly feeling rather shy. "Yeah. Um - see you."

Bradley smiles. "See you around."

Once he's gone, and you've locked the door, you go upstairs, and collapse on your bed with a sigh.

Can I be bothered to change into my pajamas?

You're replied by the seam digging into your back. Yes, I can.

***************************************************

Once you're back in bed, you curl up, preparing to do some scrolling. It's been a long day, and you need some headspace.

It's a relief to be back in your normal clothes once again. That dress was not very comfortable.

Your phone buzzes.

It's a message from Callie.

You home yet?

You type a reply. Yes.

How'd it go?

You pause, thinking out an answer. Was okay. Bradley was really nice. He offered to take me out again.

Take him up on it.

I already did.

Good. You know, I thought you'd get on well. He's a bit more mature than the guys our age.

You frown. How old is he?

He's in his thirties, I think.

Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest. Thirties?! Callie! Why didn't you tell me?

I did.

I didn't see it.

You hastily scroll back through your messages.

Oh, nevermind. You did. Sorry.

Told you. And he's not ancient, Y/N. He's in his early thirties.

But - his thirties! I'm practically a kid compared to him!

You're not. I'm the same age as you, I'm friends with him, and you're more mature than me.

I guess we are both adults. But still… Did you tell him?

Tell him what?

That I'm younger than him.

Of course. And he's a good guy, Y/N. He'd have never asked you out on a second date if he wasn't comfortable with the age gap.

You breathe a sigh of relief. Good to know. Oh, we're still meeting up for drinks on Tuesday, right?

Yep.

Okay. Bye.

Byee.

Well, that was unexpected, you think, putting your phone aside.

But you don't really mind the age gap. So long as Bradley's okay with it - which he seems to be - then you are, too.

Plus, it would explain why you actually enjoyed tonight. You've been on dates before with guys your age, but you've never really enjoyed them.

For one thing, none of them have ever been as nice as Bradley, and for another, they've always wanted you to come back to their place…

Another message from Callie pops up.

Oh, hey, forgot to tell you I gave Bradley your number.

You groan. Callie is enjoying herself way too much.

He said he'd message you tomorrow.

Why tomorrow?

There's a bit of a pause before Callie replies.

He says he noticed you were tired out, and he doesn't want to bother you until you've rested.

You feel your throat getting a little tight. That's so sweet.

Told you he was nice. I'm telling you, Y/N, he's a keeper.

Callie, we've only been on one date - and even that wasn't really a date.

Close enough.

You grin. I'm going to bed now. See you Tuesday.

Byee.

Putting your phone on silent, and setting it aside, you roll over, grinning like an idiot.

Maybe things are starting to look up.

************************************************

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, repost it elsewhere, etc.

Maybe We Can Be Friends (Part 3)

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Autistic!Fem!Shy!Reader

Summary: You're sick. And a certain aviator is extremely worried...

Warnings/tags: Super super soft Jake, oblivious reader, mentions of being sick, lots of fluff, a bit of angst

A/N: I'm so so sorry it took me so long to write this. I really hope it was worth the wait.

***************************************************

Something's wrong. You can feel it even before your head's cleared enough for you to properly start waking up.

Chills are running down your body, your sinuses are burning, your throat feels like sandpaper…

You're sick.

You're still feeling pretty fuzzy-headed, but you know you're definitely too sick to go into uni.

You know you should tell Penny, but you don't even want to lift your head, let alone get out of bed and go downstairs. Your phone's on the bedside table, but with how exhausted you're feeling, it might as well be across the room.

Fortunately, you're spared the trouble of having to do either when Penny knocks on your door.

"Y/N? You going to get up? Sorry to sound like the mom here, but you're going to be late!"

Your throat feels too sore for you to speak properly, so you let out a weak, raspy groan in response.

The door opens, and Penny steps in, looking worried. "Gosh, Y/N," she mutters, looking you up and down, "you really don't look so good." Sitting down, she puts the back of her hand to your forehead. "Oh, honey, you're burning up. You must feel awful."

"Mmm." You just want to go back to sleep.

"No college for you today, of course," remarks Penny as she stands up. "I'll call and let them know. You just get some sleep, okay?"

***************************************************

It's mid-morning when you wake up again. Penny's sitting by your bed, scrolling on her phone, but she looks up when she hears you stirring.

"Hey, Y/N. How're you feeling?"

"Still not great," you croak, wincing at the sound of your own voice.

"Well, you're still pretty feverish, so that's to be expected. Do you feel like you're going to be sick?"

You shake your head. "I just feel tired, and achy, and like I never want to move again."

Penny nods. "I wonder if you've got this flu that's going around. Some of the Navy guys had it, and they must have accidentally spread it around town. Quite a lot of the teachers at Amelia's school have got it too."

"Must be making its rounds at uni, then…"

You both fall into silence for a bit, you because you're tired out, and Penny because she's wrapped up in her own thoughts.

"D'you feel like having anything to eat?" asks Penny suddenly. "Or watching some TV?"

"TV sounds good," you say. "I'm not really hungry, though."

Penny nods. "That's okay. By the way, I was going to take Amelia for a trip on the boat today-"

"But because I'm sick, you don't want to leave me alone? I'll be fine, you know…"

Penny bites her lip. "Okay. But just make you have something to eat. You don't have to eat now, but I'd prefer it if you had something to eat before I leave, okay?"

You nod. "Okay."

***************************************************

You meant to watch TV, like you'd said, but you end up getting so caught up in your thoughts that you completely forget, simply because there's just been so much happening that you need to process.

It's been kind of a weird time lately, and not just because it's been your first week or so at Penny's place after officially moving in.

Part of it's just because it's felt weird, living with your best friend, and finally getting full nights of sleep, but - well, you just can't really put your finger on it. There's a feeling of apprehension in the air, like something big is going to happen.

You haven't seen Jake since your last encounter at the bar, and - well, you're starting to miss him. Sure, he distracts you from your work, which can get annoying, but - you miss being distracted by him.

You miss him.

And it's not as if the rest of his friends aren't coming to the bar. Quite the contrary, in fact; you see Mav almost every night, the Hawaiian shirt guy is at the piano most evenings, and Jake's best friend is usually beating everyone else at darts.

It makes Jake's absence even more conspicuous, and, to be honest, you're beginning to worry. Is he okay? Did you scare him off? Was it something you said? Something you did?

Whatever the reason is, not knowing is driving you crazy.

Moping and worrying isn't going to get you anywhere, you know that; but it's so hard not to, especially when it's a guy that you like. And you like Jake a lot. More than you should, really.

***************************************************

It's mid-afternoon when there's a knock at your bedroom door. "Hey, Y/N. You awake?"

"Yeah." You look up, and smile when you see Penny. "Hi, Penny. How was your trip?"

"Well, the engine failed again, so I think we're either going to need a new engine, or a new boat. But the trip went well until then."

You pull a face. "Oof. That's not good."

Penny grimaces. "Yeah. But anyway, how was your day?"

You shrug. "Kind of boring, to be honest. I wish I'd been able to go with you and Amelia."

"Even though I just told you the boat engine failed?"

"Well, it'd be an adventure, a bit of excitement. I need some excitement, really, to take my mind off-"

"Is this about Jake?"

You nod. "I feel like - I - like I said something wrong, or I offended him… I don't know, I just - I really miss him, and I don't know why."

Penny nods sympathetically. "I feel that way sometimes with Pete, you know. Him and Jake - they're kind of wild cards. You never really know what they're going to do next."

You wish you could inquire further, but the bar's going to open soon, so Penny has to go.

Unfortunately, you're not sleepy like you'd hoped you'd be, which annoys you, because you'd meant to sleep during that time, and now you're flat on your back, bored and miserable, but unable to sleep.

Not for lack of trying, either. You've tried soothing sounds of various types, soft music, and so on, but nothing's working.

Now, you're just trying to somehow slip into sleep by zoning out with your eyes closed. It's not really working, but at least you're resting, if nothing else.

Having your eyes closed makes you more focused on the sounds in the house. There's the pipes, the washing machine, the dishwasher…

And someone unlocking the front door.

Is Penny back already?

Then there's footsteps. Penny's, and what sounds like a man's. Probably Mav's.

But then you hear a soft knock at your bedroom door, and a moment later, Penny pokes her head in.

"Hey, Y/N."

"Hi," you mutter. "What's going on?"

Penny sighs, and smiles. "Jake's here, sweetie. He wants to see you."

Your brain's too fuzzy for you to really register what she's saying, but you mumble something along the lines of, "Okay…"

"Do you want to see him?" asks Penny. "You don't have to; I can ask him to come by when you're feeling better."

"I wanna see him."

A moment later, Jake's there, sitting on your bed. "Hey, Y/N. How're you feeling, honey?"

You're not really sure what to answer. You want to tell Jake that you're fine, but the words just won't come.

Jake gently rests the back of his hand on your forehead. "Oh, sweetheart. You're burning up."

You bite your lip, fighting the urge to cry. Not here, Y/N. Not in front of Jake.

Jake's hand moves to start stroking your hair. "My poor baby. Why didn't you tell me you were sick, sweetheart?"

"I wasn't sick yesterday," you whisper, wishing your eyes wouldn't water so much.

"Hey, it's okay." Jake's other hand moves to take yours. "It's not your fault you're sick. I'm just worried about you. Okay, sweets?"

"Okay," you whisper, closing your eyes.

"Oh, sweetie…" Jake wipes away the tears that start rolling down your cheeks. "You're gonna be okay. Please don't cry."

He continues murmuring sweet nothings in an effort to make you feel better, and you sniffle, feeling a bit guilty at the fact that a small part of you is enjoying Jake's fussing. He hasn't been this worried since that time at the bar, and you hadn't realised just how much you'd missed it until now.

"Stay?" you ask. "Please?"

"I'd love to, sweetheart, I don't know if Penny will let me. This is her house too, you know."

"Ask her."

"Okay. But first, I'm going to stay with you until you're asleep, okay?"

You're too sleepy to respond, so instead, you just allow yourself to enjoy this little moment with Jake.

***************************************************

You're barely awake before you realise that someone's stroking your hair.

It's Jake.

"You stayed," you murmur.

"That's right, sweets. I stayed. And I'm staying until you feel better, okay?"

"But what about-"

Your words are cut off by a fit of coughing. Sitting up sharply, you gasp and hack as you desperately try not to throw up everywhere.

Jake thumps you on the back until your coughing dies down. "You okay, sweets?"

"Does it-" gasp - "look like I'm okay?"

Jake chuckles. "Stupid question. Sorry, sweets." His hand resumes stroking your hair. "So, you want me to stay with you for a bit?"

Your heart skips a beat. "Just so long as Penny doesn't mind."

Jake smiles softly. "I don't think she will." He's watching you carefully as he speaks, which makes you feel shy. "Do you need anything, sweets?"

"Can I have some water, please?"

"Sure." Jake stands up. "I'll be back in a minute."

It feels like a lot longer than a minute when Jake finally gets back with a glass of water.

"Sorry that took so long, sweetie," he says gently. "Penny wanted to know how you were doing, and if you needed anything else."

You just nod, and go to take the glass, but Jake puts it on the bedside table.

What's he-

Sitting back on the bed, Jake helps you sit up, making sure to put some pillows behind your back, before holding the glass to your lips, and helping you drink.

After taking a few sips, you're ready to go back to sleep. Even drinking water seems to be tiring you out.

"You should probably take some medicine," remarks Jake. "I'll go see if Penny has any."

Before you can protest, he's sitting by your bed again with some medicine.

"I wanna sleep…" you mumble.

"No, sweets, you gotta take the medicine," says Jake gently. "It'll help you feel better."

You grumble, but take the medicine anyway, before lying back down, and preparing to go to sleep.

"You sure you don't want anything else?" asks Jake softly.

"Mmhm."

"Okay." Jake strokes your cheek gently. "Well, if you need anything, I'm right here."

***************************************************

"Hey, Y/N?" It's Penny. "You up?"

"Yeah," you reply.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come to the beach with me."

You smile, even though she can't see you from behind the door. "Of course I would! I've actually been feeling kind of cramped the past day or two. I'll be out in a minute."

It's been a few weeks since Jake's first visit, and while you're feeling much better now, you can tell that he's still worried about you. He's been using a much gentler tone than usual, and he's been much more attentive, making sure you're comfortable whether you're sitting or lying down, getting you stuff (even when you could have easily gotten it yourself), and so on.

It was sweet at first, but you were starting to feel a bit stifled, which is why you're kind of glad that he had to go back to work for a bit, even though you do miss him when he's gone.

Your uni isn't going to let you back in until you're better (Jake made sure of that), and you'd have been pretty bored, just staying at home with nothing to do, if it wasn't for Penny. You've both been able to spend some more time together, but this is the first time in a few days that you've managed to get out of the house.

***************************************************

"Seems like Jake's more into you than I thought," remarks Penny, as you both walk down to the beach.

"What do you mean?"

Penny stares at you like you've just gone crazy. "Seriously? You still don't think Jake's into you?"

"Well, no, I know he's into me, but…"

Penny throws her hands up in despair. "Y/N L/N, sometimes I don't know what to do with you! Haven't you even noticed what he's been doing the past few weeks?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Hey, Penny!"

It's Mav, grinning all over his face. "Oh, hey, Y/N. You feeling better?"

Wait, he knows? "Uh… yeah. Yeah, I'm feeling better." How does he know?

"Mav!" yells one of the pilots. "Get back to the game!"

"We're taking a break!" replies Mav.

There's a chorus of 'ooh's from the other pilots.

"Hey, Y/N, Jake's over there," says Penny, like you hadn't already noticed. "Go say hi."

"Penny, I don't know if that's-"

Penny gives you a shove. "Go on."

Nervously, you shuffle towards the beach, half-hoping that nobody sees you.

No such luck.

"Hey. Y/N, right?"

It's one of Mav's pilots. She looks friendly enough, but - well, you're always nervous around strangers.

"Yes. Um - hi…"

"My callsign's Phoenix, but you can call me Nat." She smiles. "Jake's told us a lot about you."

"He has?"

Nat nods. "Yep. Oh, how are you feeling, by the way? Jake told us you got sick."

"Yeah, I'm - I'm okay now. Um… how many people know - that I got sick?"

"Pretty much the whole squad, and probably the whole base, too. Oh, and whoever was at The Hard Deck a few weeks ago."

"Whoever was at the bar a few weeks ago?" you repeat incredulously.

Nat gives you a funny look. "Penny didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Nat grins. "Well, Jake got into the bar, saw that you weren't at the counter, and ran up to Penny, asking her where you were. And when he heard you were sick…"

"What?" Your heart's pounding so hard that your chest's beginning to hurt. "What happened?"

Nat's grin widens. "Well-"

"Oh, hey - um, Y/N, right?" It's the guy with glasses.

You nod. "Hi."

He holds out a hand. "I'm Bob. Nice to meet you."

You shake it rather hesitantly, and give him a smile in return.

"Hi, Y/N," remarks another guy, smiling at you. "Turns out Hangman really does have a girl. I'm Coyote, by the way."

The other pilots, who've all been gathering around, also introduce themselves, some asking how you're doing, others simply stating their name or callsign. It's a little overwhelming at first, but their friendliness soon puts you at ease.

"Guys?" It's Jake, pushing his way through the group. Concern flashes in his eyes when he sees you, and he rushes over, standing protectively in front of you. "Hey, guys, don't crowd her. She gets overwhelmed easily."

"No, no, it's okay," you hastily reply. "They weren't crowding me."

But Jake still looks worried. "Let's get you to a bench, sweets. You'll tire yourself out."

You're about to protest, but when you see the concern in Jake's eyes, you don't have the heart, so you let him take your arm, and lead you over to a bench.

"You sure you're okay?" he asks as he sits you down. "You're not too tired?"

You can feel tears welling up in your eyes at Jake's concern, but you do your best to deflect them with a laugh. "Jake, I'm fine."

Jake doesn't look convinced. He opens his mouth, but just then, you hear Mav.

"Alright, guys, back to the game!"

Jake doesn't run off like the others, instead hovering beside you as Penny comes over.

"Hey, Jake."

Jake manages a small smile. "Hey, Penny."

"Hey, Y/N, I was thinking we maybe go get a few drinks before the bar opens. You don't have to bartend tonight if you don't feel up to it, though."

You smile. "Drinks sound good."

"Hey, Hangman, game's starting!" calls Rooster.

"Just a minute!" Jake turns to you. "You gonna be okay?"

You nod. "I'll be fine."

As you stand up, Jake takes hold of your arm to support you. "You sure you don't want me to drive you home?"

"Jake, I'm getting drinks with Penny. And it's literally a five minute walk from the bar to her place. I'll be fine."

"Okay, well, if you need anything, just call me, okay? Or text me."

You nod. "Okay."

***************************************************

"I wish he wouldn't worry so much," you tell Penny, as she pours you a Coke.

Penny nods as she hands you the drink. "I know what you mean. Mav's kind of like that."

You take a sip of your drink. "You know, I never found out what happened that night at the bar."

"How do you mean?"

"When Jake found out I was sick, and then came bursting into my room. You remember?"

Penny smiles. "How could I forget?"

"Well, Nat told me some of what happened…"

"How much?"

"Up until the part where you told him I was sick. But I didn't hear what he did. What did he do?"

Penny's face grows serious. "I've never seen someone more terrified. He looked like he was about to have a breakdown. He literally begged me to let him go and see you. I didn't want to at first, because I thought you wouldn't appreciate having your rest interrupted, but…"

"But what?"

"I didn't really have the heart." She sits down beside you with her own drink. "Look, Y/N, I know you think I'm crazy, but - I think - I know - that Jake's in love with you. Like, head-over-heels. He adores you."

Tears rush to your eyes. "I knew he liked me," you mumble, "but I had no idea…" You put your head in our hands, trying hard not to hyperventilate. "Oh, my gosh. And I just - ohh…" You turn back to Penny. "I - What am I supposed to do? He'll probably hate me now."

"Y/N, honey, he's not going to hate you. And this isn't your fault. You had no idea. Just - talk to him, the next time you see him. I'm sure he'll understand."

You nod. "Okay. I'll do that."

Penny smiles. "Good. Now, how about-"

"Hey, Penny?"

It's Jake.

"Yeah?"

"Mav said he left something here, a watch or something?"

Penny gets up. "It's in the back room. I'll go get it for you."

Your heart jumps as she leaves the room, and you turn nervously to Jake.

He smiles at you. "Hey, sweets. You okay? Not too tired or anything?"

You shake your head, wishing you could find your words.

Jake moves to sit next to you. "You sure you don't want me to drive you home?"

You bite your lip, staring into the distance as you piece together what you're going to say.

"Y/N?"

You jump when you feel his hand on your shoulder. "Sorry. Just - thinking."

"You look tired," he says gently. "You sure you don't want to go home?"

You take a deep breath. "I - um - look, Jake, I - I'm really sorry for how I acted today - and the past couple of weeks. I - I didn't realise-"

"Woah, woah, what's all this, baby?"

"Penny told me what happened that night in the bar. I - I had no idea you were so worried, and I've just been acting like an ungrateful - brat."

Jake looks genuinely confused. "Since when did you act like a brat? The first night I came to visit? You were sick, sweetie. I didn't expect you to-"

"No, no, it's not that. It's how - how I - batted your help away."

"Batted my help away?"

"You know, snapping at you today - um, deliberately doing things myself…"

"Oh, sweetheart. You weren't being a brat." He sighs. "I guess I was a little too overprotective, and I'm sorry about that."

"You're sorry?" You can feel a lump forming in your throat. "You've got it all backwards. I'm the one who's supposed to be apologising; I'm the one who-"

"Y/N." Jake takes your hand. "Hey, Y/N, look at me." When you do, he continues, "You haven't been well, okay? And I can tell that you're still not back to your full strength. Please don't upset yourself over this, sweets. I'm not mad, okay?"

You nod. "Okay," you whisper.

"That's my girl." Jake smiles at you.

You're both silent for a bit. Jake's started unconsciously stroking your hand, which you're really enjoying.

"Jake?"

He looks up. "Yeah?"

You're suddenly nervous again. "Um, I - I just wanted to say that I like you. A lot. I - I think I - love you, actually…"

Jake's silent, and for a moment, you're scared that you overstepped.

But then he smiles, and you're surprised to see tears in his eyes. "I love you too, sweets."

There's a long silence as you both look at each other. Jake's resumed stroking your hand, and you don't want to speak in case he stops, or you say something wrong.

Then you both hear cheers, and turn to see Jake's fellow pilots grinning at you.

"Guys!" protests Jake, and you're amused to see that he's embarrassed. You've never seen him embarrassed before in your life; you didn't even know it was an emotion he was capable of.

"So, um," you move closer, trying to ignore the pilots, "does this mean we're dating now?"

Jake chuckles. "Are you asking me out?"

You blush. "No! Well - I just don't really know where to go…"

"We could go to that fast food place," he suggests.

"It's not very romantic-" you begin.

"I can find another place," Jake says quickly.

"No, no, the fast food place is fine. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay, sweets. I know what you meant. But are you sure you're not too tired?"

You nod. "I'm okay. Just - maybe if we make it a short one..."

Jake smiles. "Of course."

***************************************************

As you walk to Jake's truck, a realisation suddenly hits you.

Jake turns around at the sound of your laughter. "What's so funny, sweetheart?"

You smile. "There never was a watch, was there?"

"A watch?"

"Mav sent you in to find his watch, and Penny said it was in the back room."

Jake laughs. "Those little-"

***************************************************

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, post it elsewhere, etc.

The inconsistency of writing is fucking with me right now.

Sometimes I write for eight hours straight, then I can't type a single word for a month.

Sometimes I write as though I have been possessed by some kind of divine being, sometimes I literally become illiterate and have to look up every second word.

One day I love my characters, the next I decide how to kill them off — which gives my writing motivation only a temporary boost, but I'll take what I can get.

In the distance, my readers sob for updates and my heart bleeds for them... meh, I still can't be bothered to write right now. I'm kinda bored, though.

I'm putting together a small fandom event, the first ever:

Bruce Banner Appreciation Day!

It'll be on December 18, which is Bruce's canonical birthday in the MCU (but this is open to Bruce fans of all media) and we'll be celebrating with fanworks! Art, writing, GIFs, you name it.

There's really no rules besides creating something Bruce-centric and you can definiely include friends, family, ships, etc. On December 18, post your creation and tag it #bruce banner appreciation day.

💜 Please spread the word! 💚