Onionisemotional - ON I ON

I found the first cardigan ive made!

:D

Art Sled Rally at Powderhorn Park!

via Axios Twin Cities

#Minnesota #Minneapolis

Talking about no contact and estrangement is becoming a serious thing online, so I want to put this out there. You do not have to try to fix things with your parents before you're allowed to cut off or reduce contact. You do not have to try and convince them to treat you right before you take care of yourself and do what you have to for your safety and wellbeing.

I didn't sit my parents down and explain to them that they'd been abusing me and try to convince them to stop. The likelihood that they would have received this well felt minuscule. Once I got the courage to do what I needed to do, I sent an email telling them that I was ending all contact between us.

Because ultimately it wasn't about them. It was about me, and the fact that I was unable to break out of old survival modes and stop putting on a false self to please them. I needed the space to grow. I needed to be away from them to heal. Period.

If you want to try setting boundaries with your parents before going no contact, go for it. But you're not bad or undeserving of peace because you didn't run that gauntlet. It's optional. There are no rules, no hoops you must jump through before you deserve what you need.

Forgiveness

I don't often post stuff like this, but it's a subject that has been on my mind here and there for many years now, and a video by Farron Cousins brought it to mind again. It's about the religious right, and their weird-arse mindset about everything. So much of it can be traced to the concept of forgiveness. As such, I'm gonna paste my exact comment from that video here; note that I do not capitalize a certain word because it does not deserve it:

It's a thing I never understood about christianity… and it's a huge magnet for abuse. Forgiveness is asking something of someone when too much has already been taken from them. I'm not talking, like, "omg honey I'm so sorry, I broke your favorite mug while doing the dishes." That's an accident, that's not the kind of forgiveness I'm talking about. It's the "get out of jail free card" version that's rotten to the core, and it keeps abusers abusing and enablers enabling, and the victims learn to literally need the abuse to be normal.

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver