Being Non-binary Is Like Instead Of Having An Angel And A Demon On Ur Shoulder U Have A Faggot And A

Morally Grey in a World of Black and White

"Every villain is a hero in their own mind."

-Tom Hiddleston

Face down in the dirt was not an ideal way to wake up at all. Chuuya would argue that there were a million other ways an places to wake up that were better than face down in the dirt. One such example would be in a bed, maybe on his side, in a hotel. The best case would let him know where he was. As it now stood, he had no idea where the hell he was.

Normally, in a situation such as this, the logical thing to do would be to get a proper bearings and stock of the situation at hand. Gathering intel should be top priority. How one goes about doing that varies from situation to situation. However, a groan on Chuuya's left had him turning to see what was going on.

Also face down in the dirt, a few feet away, was a kid he'd never met before, but that didn't stop him from recognising him. The kid had a very monochrome colour palette for being a part of the Armed Detective Agency. Chuuya had seen the kid's picture before because of the bounty that had been on his head, and he'd seen an illusion of him at the hospital not even a week ago, but he'd never met the kid. Jinko, for that was what he knew the kid to be called, was Dazai's new protegee. Was that a good thing? Probably not, but that also lead him to hold high expectations of the kid. He was being taught by Dazai Osamu, so the kid had to be at least as skilled as Akutagawa had been when he was under Dazai!

Much like a cat, the kid stretched out on the grass as if basking in the sun before he stiffened and looked over at Chuuya. He didn't make a sound.

Chuuya smirked smugly, "Have a nice nap, Jinko?"

The kid flinched ever so slightly at something before shaking his head, "Where..?"

"No idea."

"Hm." The two let the silence take over again. They'd never interacted before now, so they didn't have much to go off of.

A quick scan of the area alerted the two to no other human presences. There didn't seem to be any animals either. It was weird. Not weird in the way that Yokohama could bost, but weird in the way that there was probably something happening around them that they couldn't figure out yet. It was kind of like the feeling that they both got when Dazai was scheming, but this was somehow worse.

Still holding the distance between themselves, the two made no move to face each other. Chuuya quietly noted the use of common sense in the detective. They'd been enemies not a week ago, but they were the only familiar thing around. Better to have their backs to each other than to the unknown around them.

Jinko hissed something that Chuuya couldn't quite make out before he was pulling him into the tree line. "What the hell?" Chuuya glared.

Jinko shushed him before whispering, "Someone's coming." And wasn't that just swell. Though, Chuuya had to admit that the kid had good instincts. He hadn't even heard anyone coming yet!

A few minutes of hiding in the bushes, there was a break in the plants opposite where the two hid and a kid with - was that green? - green hair stumbled into the clearing. They were obviously injured, but not bleeding. Honestly, they didn't look like a threat at all. As they fell to the ground and pulled out a notebook, they were seeming less like a potential threat and more like and injured bunny.

If Chuuya was confidant in his intel on the ADA, then he knew that the kid beside him would not let this injured bunny be.

Predictably, the were-tiger left the bushes to talk to the kid. Unpredictably, he kept his distance and seemed guarded in a way he hadn't been before. Was it because this green haired kid was a new variable in a new equation? Probably, but that didn't make sense. Jinko was guarded against the kid like he was ready to run, but he'd left his back open to Chuuya, a known enemy.

Enemy wasn't the right word. The Port Mafia and the Armed Detective Agency had a truce, but it was shaky at best. It would take a while for all parties to get out of the headspace of what was basically an attack on sight order. Hostile was a better word to use when describing their current relationship.

"Hey," the were-tiger said, his voice soft but his stance was ready for a fight.

The green haired kid startled and looked up at the grey haired kid with wide eyes. They looked ready to run and cry at the same time. It was pathetic. It would get them killed in Yokohama.

"Hey," the were-tiger tried again, this time he lowered himself to the ground with his hands up in surrender. It was a compromising position should he need to fight or run. Chuuya shook his head. Maybe Dazia wasn't doing a good job teaching the kid. "I'm a bit lost, could you help me?"

The kid relaxed a bit when Jinko didn't come any closer to him. "Y-yeah. You're in Musutafu in the Chubu Prefecture of Japan."

That...was not where Chuuya last remembered being. He was fairly certain that that wasn't were Jinko last remembered being, either. The situation just got a bit more complicated.

To Jinko's credit, he took the information in stride. "Huh. Cool. I've never been here before," he said, "Could you tell me more about it?"

The green haired kid was almost completely relaxed now and Jinko risked scooting closer. The kid made no move to get away, so Chuuya made himself comfortable. He had the feeling this was going to be a long conversation.

~~~

Atsushi really wanted to wake up from whatever not-dream he was having now. He was certain that he'd fallen asleep in the closet last night after bid Kyoka a good night. So how in world had he gotten here?! And with Nakahara-san of all people! He was glad that the Port Mafia Executive hadn't attacked him when his back was turned. He was also a bit relieved to realize that they were both confused about what was going on.

The kid with green - honest to god, the kid had green hair! - hair was helpful, if not skittish. Not that Atsushi could blame them. Though, they were very forthcoming with information, so that was a good thing. It was a good thing that could get them killed in Yokohama.

Nakahara-san had stayed hidden in the bushes while he talked to the kid. He was glad for that. He'd never officially met Nakahara-san, but he'd heard stories from Dazai and whisper's in dark alleyways. Nakahara-san was a force to be reckoned with and Atsushi was beyond glad that they weren't currently trying to kill or otherwise maim each other.

To Atsushi, Nakahara-san was an intimidating person. He couldn't imagine how this kid would feel should the man come out of hiding suddenly.

Either way, he was gathering information from his only current source. He found out where they were, what time it was, a basic layout of the surrounding area, and some landmarks to look for. Most of it was tourist stuff, but it would be useful to him nonetheless. He wasn't anywhere near being a good detective and was still technically an intern at the Agency, but he'd read enough books as a kid - when he could - and asked Kunikida enough questions to know a bit of what he was doing.

He also was given some extra information that he hadn't been after. The kid's - male, he'd realized and quietly confirmed - name was Midoriya and he was in his final year before high school. Smart of the kid to not give away his first name. It was a Friday and schools in the Chubu prefecture had just let out for the weekend.

"I better get going," Midoriya gathered his things and stood up. Atsushi did so as well. "My mom will be wondering where I am soon.

"I understand," Atsushi smiled. He really didn't, but that would only bring up uncomfortable questions that he didn't really have enough training to lie his way through. "Have a safe trip home."

"I will, thank you, Nakajima-san," the kid bowed, "You as well!" Then he was gone.

It was quiet for a minute before the bushes behind him rustled. He didn't bother turning around because he knew who was at his back. Was this a good show of trust? He'd find out in a minute.

"Nice job, were-tiger." Nakahara-san walked closer to him, "I guess they are teachin' ya something at the ADA."

Now is when he turned to face the Port Mafia Executive. "Thanks, Nakahara-san."

The man raised an eyebrow. "How'd ya know my name?"

He shrugged minutely to feign indifference. "Dazai-san likes to talk when he's procrastinating."

Nakahara-san huffed a laugh, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Another bout of quiet overtook them as the sun set. Finally, Atsushi said, "We're a bit away from home."

"Yeah."

Yokohama was their home. They worked against each other in the past, and are likely to in the future, but Yokohama was their home. It was their place to protect and serve in their own ways. Yokohama was also an independent city-state. It's boarders had been closed long before they'd even been born. Based on what Midoriya had said, they were very much outside of Yokohama. They didn't know what could get them killed here.

"Have you ever been outside the boarders?" Atsushi asked. He suddenly felt very small as he wrapped his arms around his torso and sunk into himself a bit.

"Never." Nakahara-san answered. He suddenly didn't seem as imposing as before.

"Oh."

Storyboard Part 2

Odasaku, Sasaki, and the orphanage headmaster are all buried in the same cemetery.

So Kunikida, Atsushi, and Dazai all run into each other grave visiting regularly and politely pretend they don’t. They never acknowledge the meaning behind the bouquets brought, even if all of them know the others know flower language. They never acknowledge the tear streaks down Atsushi’s face, or the solemn look on Kunikida’s. Atsushi never points out how the scent of whiskey is always a bit stronger on Dazai’s coat. They never acknowledge the location of their accidental meetings.

Sometimes Kunikida might offer to take them to get food, or Atsushi will offer a random hard candy from his pocket, on colder days Dazai might lend his coat. None of them are really themselves when faced with grief, and none of them will to hold it against each other.

gomen

🔔

🩰⃝⃝ Atsushi Nakajima Headcanons

• Constantly bites the skin around his nails.

• Is really jealous of Dazai because he can whistle but Atsushi can't.

• Poor baby (grown ass man) gets taunted everyday. 😔

• Half his wardrobe consists of the other agency members don't wear anymore/don't fit them.

• Sensitive teeth.

• Cannot eat anything super cold without wincing.

• Craves attention but prefers to be alone.

• Drools and chuffs in his sleep.

• Kunikida keeps tissues on his desk to wipe down his face after he takes a nap.

• Can't do anything without explicit permission and clear instructions.

• Constant victim of "your mum" jokes.

• Everyone sits in awkward silence after. 

• Will remind others how good they're being even in the midst of chaos.

• He's like a broken record of admiration for those he looks up to.

• He gets really attached to his possessions because growing up in the orphanage he didn't really have anything that was his and only his.

• Lowkey a hoarder.

• Will never use something because he feels he has to save it for the perfect situation and that if he uses it at the wrong moments he will be wasting it.

• Smells like soap and apple scented shampoo.

• Was gifted shampoo for Christmas a year into working at the agency.

• Up untill that point he had just been using plain bar soap for his entire body.

• Chronically cold feet.

• Kunikida makes him wear fluffy socks and slippers every morning/night.

• Scrunches his nose alot.

• Rambles when scared or anxious.

• His love language is gift giving.

• Stomps his foot when he's mad.

• Really big handwriting if you know what i mean.

• Like everything he writes is biig.

• Can't wink.

• Dazai once winked at him to tease him and he just froze, squeezed his eyes shut and wrinkled his nose.

• This became a recurring way for Dazai to tease him.

He does not get a break.

• Will binge on whatever food is infront of him because he's scared it will disappear and he will miss the opportunity to eat.

Dead apple but everyone is still in their pajamas

I think it would be funny if everyone collectively just didnt care to change in to their work clothes for the plot of dead apple cause imagine Chuuya fighting that big ass dragon still in his dog themed pajama pants 🐶

HERMITS STOP GOING ONTO REDDIT AND STOP READING MEAN COMMENTS CHALLENGE U ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL AND PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS. WE LOVE YOU. seriously we love you and we love how laid back this season has been so far. love and light, signed the entirety of hermitblr and people who love what yall do without exceptions

I can’t think about pre-Agency Atsushi without bawling my eyes out.

In every single flashback we see Atsushi scared, berated and abused.

There was not a point in his life where he has ever felt safe or loved and cared about. No one cared if Atsushi lived or died.

No one has shown him a shred of kindness for 18 years.

Atsushi wasn’t allowed to own anything. Nothing has ever belonged to him and the one thing that did they tried to take from him anyway.

And he’s so small…he’s so small and frail and sure all the other kids do but he’s so much smaller than them.

He’s the runt of the litter. The one who gets starved on a regular basis and everyone may hate each other but they all hate him together.

You just see him and he’s practically shaking with fear. He’s yelled at for simply existing. Beaten and told well it doesn’t matter because you’ve had worse.

And he knows he’s had worse.

And it’s all Atsushi’s ever known and by some fucking miracle he still clings to life with both hands.

He’s the living embodiment of resilience, of grit and determination because he grew up full of light in a place of darkness.

Atsushi was raised in hell and it cultivated a strong will but it doesn’t change that he was raised in hell.

Hermittober Day 7: Fall!

I like to imagine Joel tripped a little when he got shot so he could fit the theme of all of the Bread Boys Falling

i’m still obsessed with my hc that it’s tiring for atsushi to keep his tiger features hidden so they tend to pop out at home and it’s not uncommon to come home to an atsushi with paws ears a tail and whiskers <3 and sometimes you even open the door to see an entire tiger curled up in your bed

The thing is Fyodor could’ve had Atsushi in his grasp before the series even began.

That’s without question no one else knew who or where Atsushi was until he showed up in Yokohama at 18 years old. While Fyodor has known about Atsushi, his ability and his location at minimum since he was 12. Because that’s when Fyodor sends Shibusawa to him.

And even when Fyodor is actively having Atsushi hunted down for through things like his bounty and the Guild’s incineration plot, it feels more like a test that anything else. It’s like he’s continuing where Shibusawa left off, setting these events and observing how Atsushi will fare through them.

Ironically in a way similar to a cat playing with it’s pray.

Like I don’t think for 5 minutes that Nathaniel Hawthorne showing up on the sky casino was supposed to be a legitimate threat. Especially knowing Lucy was there and allowing himself to get caught without even fighting back.

But I don’t think he was just randomly there, he had a purpose and it was to tie a string of blood to Atsushi. In order to keep a track of him.

A moment that stands out to me is during the Hunting dogs arc when Nikolai’s fighting Atsushi and tells him ‘you’re not one of the murder targets." Because it implies to me that Atsushi’s role is different to everyone else’s. He should be with the Agency, getting framed and then going on the run but he’s not. Atsushi is down underground fighting Nikolai who just leaves him there.

And yeah Kyouka shows up to help him but the people who came to inspect that area weren’t guards or soilders but the forensics team. Meaning that Atsushi wasn’t in any real danger and for a plot like this where the Agency should have nowhere safe left to go to that is rather odd.

The only exception to this I feel is the stuff with Fukuchi because he did originally plan to kill Atsushi. The only reason he didn’t was because Akutugawa showed up but even then he tried to have him kill Atsushi. Only reason Fukuchi didn’t go after Atsushi after was because it would’ve complicated the timeline.

Feels like an outlier because all Fyodor’s plans have involved trying to capture Atsushi. Even the Guild incineration plot had them keep him safe as a prisoner. And well, Fyodor kinda needs Atsushi alive for his plans.

Hell Fyodor was in the alleyway Atsushi was walking into in the Cannablism arc. You see him turn around at hearing Atsushi’s voice and he leaves to let Atsushi discover Dazai’s body. He just leaves him alone and carries on with his plan.

All of this just reads as "I need you but not yet." There’s a plan for Atsushi alright, there’s been one going for a long time but it hasn’t come to fruition yet. Much like how the book has specific parameters of when it can be used and its conditions, Fyodor is waiting until everything is put in place to enact his grand plan.

One in which Atsushi will be the centrepiece.