Nova-rose-greene - Nova Rose

nova-rose-greene

6 years ago

Mr.Nobody

Today I watched a movie about a 9 year old who didn’t like to make decision unless he knew how it would change his life.

In this film I thought about myself

Naturally

And the unnatural parts about me

Like

And this is no joke

Sometimes I think I see the future

I use to say I could either see myself dying really young or really old and there was never any in between

I’ve seen my life with a boy

I’ve seen our family

I’ve seen the Christmas card

I’ve seen us taking over the world

I’ve seen myself with another boy

And us rocking in chairs together

Us laying in bed as the kids ran up and down the halls

I’ve seen us holding hands over breakfast

And bickering before bed

I’ve seen a life where I’m with a women

And she makes me the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life

Never is there a moment that we don’t see the brighter side of things

We live in California I think

Because every time I think of us it’s always so sunny

Sometimes I see myself alone

I have a cat

And I mostly wear simple blacks and Denim

I work hard

My home has few plants

I get so much accomplished and I am really successful

But I’m alone

I’ve seen a life where I die at 27

With a white lighter in my hand

I lived an artsy life

I had enough stories for everyone to talk about st the funeral

But I was never truly myself

I was drowning in my obsession of chasing happiness

And one day I don’t make it

I’ve seen myself jump from many ledges

Crash the same car over and over

Crash someone else car

I’ve seen myself as an old lady who lives at the end of the culd es sac

I bake pies

And give piano lessons

I wave at the kids who board the bus for school

It’s actually just the house at the end of my block now

I’ve seen myself many different ways but which one is right

I don’t think I’ve decided yet

Sometimes I’ve seen myself on a path

And I know I could choose it

It’s clear as day what that life would be

But something says no

Something says this isn’t meant for me

And I listen

And I turn away

I may be left in known

But it’s my life to discover

I’ll figure it out

And each choice I make is always the right one

Even the choices I didn’t make

They were right too

Just for a different me

Or a me that doesn’t know it’s me

And sometimes

Things I didn’t choose now just weren’t meant for this moment

We can’t go back

Nothing with ever be the same

And time will always move forward regardless if we’re pushing it or standing still and it’s passing by

But whatever is meant to be will be

If I said no today maybe tomorrow it’ll be

If I said goodbye last week maybe in the next twenty years I’ll be ready for our next hello

Maybe I made a decision that made it easier for someone else to make another decision

Maybe I oberlooked something for someone else to find

Maybe I’m not the me I want to be

Maybe the me I didn’t choose is still waiting for me to discover her

Or them

Or him

But the me I am is the me I was meant to be

The me I will be was always meant for me

I’ll get there

Because I am me

I am me

I am

I

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nova-rose-greene

6 years ago

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nova-rose-greene

3 years ago

I am a non binary black woman

I am a Black Femme

I am a spirit

I am a reflection of my creator

Gender performance is an expression

How we display our gender is based on our understanding of who we are.

How we perform our expression of self with the vessel were given is up to us.

I am spirit and spirit is not gendered

Man is.

Gender is a man made construct.

So if I am spirit like my creator, my reflection and expression of my spirit is based in what?

A choice

Who I was taught to be was a black femme.

How I was conditioned to perform and how I intuitively express

Is as a black femme

Who I reflect is who I was made in the image of

Generations of creators passing their image

Their expressions

Their reactions

Their performances

To me

The reflections of the range and depth of black femme, will forever continue to influence the shape of the world I be in.

It’s this lens that morphs my understanding of myself and my selfs expression.

With the understanding and encouragement

To continue to push and morph the lens

Break it if needed

And thus continuing to expand and experiment

.

And lastly

If gender is a construct anyway and language can be mailable. then why not find the right words to best express for the present and future understandings of self. Facts can be temporary as the present state of a matter or idea are applicable in the present. But as time moves forward, the present does too. And previous facts only remain facts in context of their historical stand point.

Express for the present

Change your expression with your understanding.

If you’d like .

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nova-rose-greene

7 years ago

“This, too, I carefully explored: Even though the actions of godly and wise people are in God’s hands, no one knows whether God will show them favor. The same destiny ultimately awaits everyone, whether righteous or wicked, good or bad, ceremonially clean or unclean, religious or irreligious. Good people receive the same treatment as sinners, and people who make promises to God are treated like people who don’t. It seems so wrong that everyone under the sun suffers the same fate. Already twisted by evil, people choose their own mad course, for they have no hope. There is nothing ahead but death anyway. There is hope only for the living. As they say, “It’s better to be a live dog than a dead lion!” The living at least know they will die, but the dead know nothing. They have no further reward, nor are they remembered. Whatever they did in their lifetime—loving, hating, envying—is all long gone. They no longer play a part in anything here on earth. So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne! Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil. Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom. I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy.”

Ecclesiastes 9 NLT