Mr.Nobody

Mr.Nobody

Today I watched a movie about a 9 year old who didn’t like to make decision unless he knew how it would change his life.

In this film I thought about myself

Naturally

And the unnatural parts about me

Like

And this is no joke

Sometimes I think I see the future

I use to say I could either see myself dying really young or really old and there was never any in between

I’ve seen my life with a boy

I’ve seen our family

I’ve seen the Christmas card

I’ve seen us taking over the world

I’ve seen myself with another boy

And us rocking in chairs together

Us laying in bed as the kids ran up and down the halls

I’ve seen us holding hands over breakfast

And bickering before bed

I’ve seen a life where I’m with a women

And she makes me the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life

Never is there a moment that we don’t see the brighter side of things

We live in California I think

Because every time I think of us it’s always so sunny

Sometimes I see myself alone

I have a cat

And I mostly wear simple blacks and Denim

I work hard

My home has few plants

I get so much accomplished and I am really successful

But I’m alone

I’ve seen a life where I die at 27

With a white lighter in my hand

I lived an artsy life

I had enough stories for everyone to talk about st the funeral

But I was never truly myself

I was drowning in my obsession of chasing happiness

And one day I don’t make it

I’ve seen myself jump from many ledges

Crash the same car over and over

Crash someone else car

I’ve seen myself as an old lady who lives at the end of the culd es sac

I bake pies

And give piano lessons

I wave at the kids who board the bus for school

It’s actually just the house at the end of my block now

I’ve seen myself many different ways but which one is right

I don’t think I’ve decided yet

Sometimes I’ve seen myself on a path

And I know I could choose it

It’s clear as day what that life would be

But something says no

Something says this isn’t meant for me

And I listen

And I turn away

I may be left in known

But it’s my life to discover

I’ll figure it out

And each choice I make is always the right one

Even the choices I didn’t make

They were right too

Just for a different me

Or a me that doesn’t know it’s me

And sometimes

Things I didn’t choose now just weren’t meant for this moment

We can’t go back

Nothing with ever be the same

And time will always move forward regardless if we’re pushing it or standing still and it’s passing by

But whatever is meant to be will be

If I said no today maybe tomorrow it’ll be

If I said goodbye last week maybe in the next twenty years I’ll be ready for our next hello

Maybe I made a decision that made it easier for someone else to make another decision

Maybe I oberlooked something for someone else to find

Maybe I’m not the me I want to be

Maybe the me I didn’t choose is still waiting for me to discover her

Or them

Or him

But the me I am is the me I was meant to be

The me I will be was always meant for me

I’ll get there

Because I am me

I am me

I am

I