Im A 90s Baby, A 2000s Teen, And A Now N*gga

My Dream House hasn’t been much of a dream I haven’t had the chance to settle

My room flooded So I’m sleeping in the spare The chill room The room of requirement

At this point it’s my temporary bedroom I’ve been hesitant to settle into the chill room I felt like that was accepting my situation And I refused to accept it Today I yelled at my landlord for doing exactly as I asked I heard the first sign of problem and leapt It was not good So this is wild

I saw a counselor after Well scheduled an appointment For an interview Then we can set a session But I went I know it’s gonna be hard But I wanna be honest with myself I wanna talk to someone who’s paid to listen Someone who won’t judge But just wants to help

The floors in my room are gone I layed down a green rugged blanket in the chill room It makes it look like I have a grass carpet

I brought my tv in To drown out the ticking clock I turned on sims But I’m so uncomfortable sleeping on air But I covered it in 3 blankets I’m comfortable Mostly I’m trying to be

I dream about being a mom more then anything else

I’ve dreamed about my family more then my career my house, my card, the dog.

I’ve dreamed of copious amounts of children

And excited that I was their mom

All just bursting with excitement when I hugs them kissed them

I want to be the one they run to when they cry

I want to tell them it’s okay to cry and understand how to make it better

I want to be the one they call mom

I want to be their provider

Their confidant

I want years down the road for them to call and apologize for yelling me when they were 13 because now they see that I’m right

I want to create children who know how to love

Who love themselves

Who can feel so empowered to change the world.

I want to be a mother to change

I want to be a mother to droppings of love

I want to kiss baby toes

I want to cry at evey graduation and wedding

I want to cheer them on at games

And edit papers

I want to be a mother so bad

But who am I now

And who will I be for them to be proud of

Who will I be before I can be in a position to be a mother

And who’s the father???

Who’s dad because he’s just as important in this scenario

But back to the point

I want to be a mom more then anything

Can’t tell me this ain’t love

*Watching Netflix peacefully*

*Remembers 6 exams, 2 assignments and a presentation*

*Watches Netflix stressfully*

I am a caterpillar who cocoons every other season.

Sure I change

Sure I transform

But never just once

She

They

Ze

Bri

Nova

Greene

Gause

omg

Jesus

I just want to be who you called me to be

Speak to those who you need to hear just from me

I have a purpose and a calling and I move from person to person

From moment to moment

Picking up what I can and need so I can help someone else in need

A list of things that should no longer be explained in 2019 because y'all have had ample opportunity to Google or listen:

The Black Lives Matter movement 

Representation matters 

Colin Kaepernick wasn’t protesting the anthem 

The validity of different sexual orientations

Non-black people can’t say the N-word

Feminism isn’t about hating men

Pro-black/ celebrating your heritage isn’t anti-white

Blackface isn’t okay

Minimum wage should be raised

Who’s considered a millennial

Feel free to add on

A Ramble

jay z and Beyoncé confession tapes .. how they went

Should we change the world

Or

Should we separate and be happy

Should we talk about how jay z manipulated the fuck out of Beyoncé’s career

And how Beyoncé had to suffer because he was right

he treated her like shit but so did her parents and everyone who manipulated her molded her To be Beyoncé

And now Beyoncé is fucking Beyoncé

She has to be Beyoncé

For everyone else

Jay z can’t kill his ego

His ego helped him get what he wanted

He can admit his wrongs

He can grow

But he can’t not be jay z

Jay z is leaving a legacy

The carters are putting roots in America

They are helping to build black America

They know what effect they have

They know what good they can do

They can be people

But these people

Are Beyoncé and Jay Z

And Beyoncé and Jay Z

are people who can change the world

People who can leave ripples

People who’s ripples are starting to make waves

Beyoncé and Jay Z

Have to be Beyoncé and Jay Z

I think they are fulfilling their purpose in life by starting the new mold for black America

They are the beginning of the era

Look at the waves they already made

Lemonade and 4:44

All about acknowledging the pain and expressing that we’re people

It hurts

We hurt

We have feelings

Those feelings are valid

But then we have a choice

What do we do with those feelings ?

Do we get revenge

Do we seek help

Do we suppress and forget

Or do we accept

Do we forgive

Do we choose to try again

What can we do differently with our situation

Well we can use ourselves

Said Beyoncé and Jay Z

And be the people we needed to see

We should break the cycle

We should be real

We should set an example

We should be a strong black family

They said

We should be better

The obamas took office

And the carters prepared to take over

The elections are over

The first family of black America

The Carters

They started a wave.

Beyoncé made being a black women

Iconic

She had people shook when she reminded them she was black

Jay z is out here trying to remold the black man

He told us it was cool to be a real man

A dad

A role model for your family

Your community

Be the strong manly figure your dad tried to make you

Men are also victims of the patriarchy

And Jay z is trying to change that

He has Chris rock

Anthony

Will Smith

All out here trying to own up

To acknowledge their wrongs

And talk about the future

How to have black economies

How to have black joy

How to have a black family

How to love

How to love yourself

Love your blackness

Love love love love love love love love love love love

Black America

It’s coming

It’s basically here

Just follow the leader

Follow our leaders

They were people too

They are people too

We can be a happy thriving community

In the country we were produced in

If we’re here

Let’s take root

Let’s be here

I rock, I roll. I bloom, I glow 🌻

Nova Rose Greene

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🖤✨🖤

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