I Can’t Tell How I Feel About This. But The Editing Has Convinced Me It’s Worth The Share

A throw back.

Malaika Holmén by Sølve Sundsbø for Vogue Scandinavia ,October 2021

Tattoo done by Miryam Lumpini.

Juneteenth: 152 Years Ago...

The slaves in America was freed.

That’s 1865. 

Civil Rights started 89 years later. That’s 1954.

In theory, it’s possible that your great-grandmother was alive when slavery ended.

So in order for you to say “slavery ended 400 years ago”… wait until 2265… if you’re alive at the time.

Find some time to do something

living life right now @kygo

I miss me

It’s been a long job.

I’m getting calls because my friends and family have forgotten that a few weeks ago I told them how busy and broke I’d be.

And even though they understood my missing presence, I must be leaving a larger hole than expected.

While I’ve been off learning,

I’ve also been missing me.

My routines have been broken and forgotten

My learned habits have become memories

And my forgotten habits feel like new toys in a goodwill window

Reminding me how nice they were and yet I have to remind myself why I gave them up in the first place.

The job is almost over and I’ll be emerging a new person.

Worn and in need of rest

In need of an uplift

A cry

And then another blast of energy to keep me going.

I miss me

But I’m never the same

Day after day

I keep growing

And I need to learn how to take care of me

Day after day

Learn my needs for each day and work with them

Care for them

I need to learn to hear myself more then anyone else

source

I am a non binary black woman

I am a Black Femme

I am a spirit

I am a reflection of my creator

Gender performance is an expression

How we display our gender is based on our understanding of who we are.

How we perform our expression of self with the vessel were given is up to us.

I am spirit and spirit is not gendered

Man is.

Gender is a man made construct.

So if I am spirit like my creator, my reflection and expression of my spirit is based in what?

A choice

Who I was taught to be was a black femme.

How I was conditioned to perform and how I intuitively express

Is as a black femme

Who I reflect is who I was made in the image of

Generations of creators passing their image

Their expressions

Their reactions

Their performances

To me

The reflections of the range and depth of black femme, will forever continue to influence the shape of the world I be in.

It’s this lens that morphs my understanding of myself and my selfs expression.

With the understanding and encouragement

To continue to push and morph the lens

Break it if needed

And thus continuing to expand and experiment

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And lastly

If gender is a construct anyway and language can be mailable. then why not find the right words to best express for the present and future understandings of self. Facts can be temporary as the present state of a matter or idea are applicable in the present. But as time moves forward, the present does too. And previous facts only remain facts in context of their historical stand point.

Express for the present

Change your expression with your understanding.

If you’d like .

New acquisition for The Free Black Women’s Library 🖤 ⭐️ a book I’ve been wanting to read for a long minute, THE GAMES THAT BLACK GIRLS PLAY - Learning the ropes from Double Dutch to Hip Hop by Kyra Gaunt. As someone who is deeply invested in Black girl culture and Black girl creativity, I’ve been very curious about this book by brilliant writer, professor and ethnomusicologist Kyra Gaunt since I first heard of it years ago. When we think of Black popular music, our first thought is probably not of double Dutch; girls bouncing between two twirling ropes, keeping time to the tick tat under their toes. But this book argues that the games Black girls play – hand clapping songs, cheers, and double Dutch jump rope both reflect and iinspire the principles of Black popular music making. This book illustrates how our musical styles are incorporated into the earliest games girls learn and how in a fact these games contain the DNA of Black music. In this celebration of playground poetry and childhood choreography, through interviews, recordings, personal memories and anecdotes Kyra uncovers the rich contributions of girls play to Black popular culture.