THE URGE TO WATCH THIS SHOW IS SO REAL RIGHT NOW. HANNIBAL AND WILL ARE MY DADS AND THEY RAISED ME, I

"haven't i given enough?"

It's on days like these when I wish, I lived alone. In a home settled deep into a busy street in this busy city, with one space, only for me. On days like this when the rain has fallen all over the pavement and the scent of trees is in the air, I wish I lived with my thoughts and perhaps a cat, if only I could.

There is comfort in this home I reside in, a family filled with love and admiration for each other, but still, amidst all the underlying chaos of pain and dysfunction, there is only one thing on my mind. I wish I lived alone. The house I would live in would be mine alone. Filled with so many things green it would almost be like Pantone decided to trip the green palette into the space.

I look at my room, which really hasn't been mine in the past year, and see things no one else does, for they aren't here. Memories of nights with friends that don't come into this room anymore. Days where I've spent my entire afternoon painting on this very floor, covering each corner of the tile with a different color. What memories will I be able to make when I don't have to hide in a single room for the entire day? Will all these bits and pieces spread around the entire house in just a chaos of boredom and peace?

Will I recognize freedom when it greets me with warm hands and a shy smile at the front door? Or will I turn it away because it isn't the shivering, crippling figure of the anxiety that made me hide under the very desk I write this on top of when everything was too bright and my head wanted life dull?

I'm unsure of only one thing when it comes to the fact that I wished I lived alone. The fact that I won't understand that living alone and being lonely may just be two different things that have nothing to do with each other. Living alone might just be the one thing that salvages the hollow fear I feel inside. There isn't somebody who tells me I did my best anymore. Will I tell myself for every next day in the future, that I did everything that I could and I still will?

The house that I call mine will cover each and every wall with not just paintings and art, but splashes of all the mistakes I've made, so I know there is nothing to be afraid of when it comes to accepting your mistakes, not even displaying them on the wall of your own home.

I wish, on days like this, when the absolute massacre of personal space is a matter of zero concern for people in this house, that I lived alone.

I wish I lived in a home, where being my authentic self wasn't shameful and uncomfortable, but so honest and appreciated, that I would never live.

I wish to live in a home, where I am confined to these walls not by constraint but by my choice. I wish, on these days when everything moves above, below, and beside me. I only wish, to live alone.

~ noor.

@itolduthings I LOVE YOU SO MUCH... you are the best bestie ever!!!!!!

I remember what it tasted like; it was so familiar to the piercing spice of your blood ⚕️

-Zoë Lianne

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

Hello 👋🌸,

I hope you're well. Dr. Farhat's family urgently needs our help due to the ongoing violence. Please share and support the "Save Dr. Farhat's family from genocide in Gaza" campaign. Every share makes a difference.

Link: https://gofund.me/e9f9ce20

Thank you so much for any support you can provide 💖.

With gratitude,

Dr. Farhat's Family 🌹

Verified campaign #248 by @el-shab-hussein @nabulsi.

gofundme.com

Donate to Save Dr. Farhat's family from genocide in Gaza, organized by Farhat's Family

In the heart of war-torn Gaza, lies the poignant tale of Dr. Husam Far… Farhat's Family needs your support for Save Dr. Farhat's family fro

Hoping this reaches people who can donate!

TW: loneliness and depression

it's easy to tell myself sometimes that im alright being on my own..but when the people who you would lay down your life for say that they have more important things going on in their life than you, it stings. i haven't seen my closest friends in months, and when i was finally looking forward to that, they cancel, and profusely apologise.

i can't even say that im mad because ive grown far too much to hate and grudge for life to occur to someone, but i wish i could say that people i miss, do infact miss me to. i fear that no one really misses me at all, and it'll be alright for them to ghost me for some more months, as they have done.

i worry that my love has faltered in appearing back to me, and perhaps that is all my fault. i guess i am lonely, and tied down to the walls of a home that offers me only contempt and control disguised as care and catharsis. my friends don't feel mine anymore, and i suppose that feeling this lonely might just be my new constant.

loneliness physically aches me, and i physically ache with moments of hope, fading with each second that another person tells me they'd rather be somewhere else than ask me how i was. i feel selfish, but still so deeply, utterly, lonely.

From river to the sea, Palestine will be free 🇵🇸🇵🇸

This is not what I expected to renew my page with a pain that exceeds all pain 💔Exceeds what I was suffering from pain, which is losing a number of my family, cousins ​​and their children, and I was unable to do anything, not even say goodbye to them due to the horror of what they were exposed to. My hope is still in you and your generosity. The war has destroyed everything, and my silence has become my refuge. I ask for your help to provide safety, food and water for my remaining family members, and give us the opportunity to leave Gaza. Your donation will have a profound impact in saving what remains of our lives. 💔🙏

https://gofund.me/e6a1e1e9

NOOR ACTIVE ERA?!?!?!

NOOR FINALLY OPENED TUMBLR ERAAA