Crying In Cry

@itolduthings I LOVE YOU SO MUCH... you are the best bestie ever!!!!!!

"haven't i given enough?"

It's on days like these when I wish, I lived alone. In a home settled deep into a busy street in this busy city, with one space, only for me. On days like this when the rain has fallen all over the pavement and the scent of trees is in the air, I wish I lived with my thoughts and perhaps a cat, if only I could.

There is comfort in this home I reside in, a family filled with love and admiration for each other, but still, amidst all the underlying chaos of pain and dysfunction, there is only one thing on my mind. I wish I lived alone. The house I would live in would be mine alone. Filled with so many things green it would almost be like Pantone decided to trip the green palette into the space.

I look at my room, which really hasn't been mine in the past year, and see things no one else does, for they aren't here. Memories of nights with friends that don't come into this room anymore. Days where I've spent my entire afternoon painting on this very floor, covering each corner of the tile with a different color. What memories will I be able to make when I don't have to hide in a single room for the entire day? Will all these bits and pieces spread around the entire house in just a chaos of boredom and peace?

Will I recognize freedom when it greets me with warm hands and a shy smile at the front door? Or will I turn it away because it isn't the shivering, crippling figure of the anxiety that made me hide under the very desk I write this on top of when everything was too bright and my head wanted life dull?

I'm unsure of only one thing when it comes to the fact that I wished I lived alone. The fact that I won't understand that living alone and being lonely may just be two different things that have nothing to do with each other. Living alone might just be the one thing that salvages the hollow fear I feel inside. There isn't somebody who tells me I did my best anymore. Will I tell myself for every next day in the future, that I did everything that I could and I still will?

The house that I call mine will cover each and every wall with not just paintings and art, but splashes of all the mistakes I've made, so I know there is nothing to be afraid of when it comes to accepting your mistakes, not even displaying them on the wall of your own home.

I wish, on days like this, when the absolute massacre of personal space is a matter of zero concern for people in this house, that I lived alone.

I wish I lived in a home, where being my authentic self wasn't shameful and uncomfortable, but so honest and appreciated, that I would never live.

I wish to live in a home, where I am confined to these walls not by constraint but by my choice. I wish, on these days when everything moves above, below, and beside me. I only wish, to live alone.

~ noor.

I LOVE YOU SO FKN MUCH

@noorkasamundar appreciation post!!!! we love her sm!!!!

*cats are my one true love**

As I Was Moving Ahead Occasionally I Saw Brief Glimpses of Beauty (Jonas Mekas, 2000)

Otters will forever be the most dramatic creatures on the planet🦦

💜💜💜

*cue Lana Del Rey and Paris Paloma*

Hello,

How do you do ? I hope to be in a good condition.

This is my special campaign

We hope to help us by donating or sharing to others.

Every donation makes a different even if it a small.

As you know, the war began on October 7 and lasted ten months. During this period, we were unable to obtain food, drink, or treatment because we did not have money.

There is no source of income for the family at the present time, so we are unable to buy food, clean water, and medicine, especially after we are afflicted with the ongoing infectious diseases spread in the north like Hepatitis C disease.

Our house has been damaged a lot since the beginning of the war. We are from the north of Gaza and we are still in the north and have not displaced to the south. We displaced 10 times from place to another seeking to safety .

We hope for your help and support, even if only a little.

This is the link if you would to read our story well 👇👇

https://gofund.me/4e896ac1

Thank you all

gofundme.com

Donate to Urgent Appeal: Save Ola' family evacuate Gaza war, organized by Ola Ferwana

I am Ola Ferwana from Palestine ,Gaza. I'm a mother of 3 kids Yamen, Qus… Ola Ferwana needs your support for Urgent Appeal: Save Ola' family

Hope this gets vetted soon! and i cant donate unfortunately, but i do hope this reaches people who can!

THE URGE TO WATCH THIS SHOW IS SO REAL RIGHT NOW. HANNIBAL AND WILL ARE MY DADS AND THEY RAISED ME, I SAID WHAT I SAID!