11. A Ladybug Is Too Small To Operate A Forklift.

-William Wordsworth

uh hi so!

i wrote this webpage that walks u thru looking after yourself when you know a thought is making you spiral. deployed it publicly bc i wanted it on mobile and i thought other people might like it too

check it oot

The Onion’s journalism is the only journalism that matters. Holy fuck.

"You're taking fucking forever in there."

You ignore Levi's irritated comment as you fiddle with the buckles on your shoes, too tiny to clasp easily and at a part of your ankle that requires your legs to be both tilted and bent to access them. A lethal combination in opposition to your dexterity.

"Are you sewing that dress by hand or what?"

His voice is nearer to your bedroom door now, a little bit more difficult to tune out with only the thin wood between you.

"No, my little mice helpers are doing that for me while I sing to them," you call back, but your words are light and flippant where his were heavy with the weight of his impatience.

"It wouldn't surprise me if you did have your own army of vermin with the amount of junk you've got in this apartment." You can't see Levi's face but you know he's looking around your living room with his nose crinkled in the particular way he does when he finds something distasteful.

You scoff as you finally succeed in doing up your second buckle. You lift your head so you can snap your rebuttal directly towards your closed door.

"Sorry we can't all live like minimalist monks!"

Levi snorts in reply. "I'm hardly a minimalist, I just don't accumulate needless things."

"You only own one bowl, one plate, and one mug."

You've known Levi since college, and you're fairly certain he has the same amount of possessions filling the entirety of his one-bedroom apartment that he did in his one-room dorm a decade prior. Probably the same ones, too.

"That way no one ever tries to come over for meals, it's clever."

"It's spartan."

There's a light thump on the other side of your door, and you wonder what it may have been.

"Didn't you ever read those Marie Kondo books?" Levi's voice is impossibly close now, like he's got his forehead pressed to your door. The thump makes a little more sense.

You laugh a bit to yourself as you imagine the way he's slumped against the expanse of wood, long-dressed in his suit and ready to go where you've taken your time getting ready. It's not your fault Levi showed up thirty minutes earlier than he said he would to pick you up for the company party your shared workplace was throwing that evening--though you should have expected it, given he's never been tardy to anything in the entire time the two of you had been friends.

"Can't say I did," you reply as you cross your bedroom, leaning over in your mirror to get one last close-up look at your face. You run your thumbnail against the edge of your bottom lip where your gloss was slightly ill-applied. "Why do you ask?"

"S'all that," Levi sighs, "'spark joy' bullshit. Don't keep things in your space if they don't make you happy or whatever."

You smile at your own reflection, eyes flickering to the image of your bedroom door you can see in the glass.

"And what if all my 'junk' makes me happy?"

There's some shuffling, and a moment later Levi mutters: "How can an issue of a magazine from 2010 make you happy?"

You suspect he's plucked an old copy of some fashion magazine off the stack resting on the bookshelf beside your door. You've actually been meaning to throw those away for a while, but you don't tell him that.

"How can you manage to not find happiness in anything?"

"That's not true," he argues.

"Oh yeah?" you counter, adjusting the way your necklace is resting against your collarbones. "Name something that you keep around just because it makes you happy."

"My kettle."

"Nope," you answer immediately, grabbing your purse off the end of your bed and heading towards the door, "that serves a practical, utilitarian purpose. I mean something useless that you just like. Just something you think is pretty."

You grasp the handle and pull it open, and you take Levi by surprise--he barely catches himself with a hand on either side of the door frame to keep from crashing into you.

There's a little pink mark at the centre of his brow where he'd been leaning against the door, and his eyes are wide.

"You ready to go?" you ask him, tucking your bag under your arm.

He's frozen, his expression still a little taken aback.

"What?" you ask him, suddenly self conscious. Your hands tug at the material of your dress nervously. "Should I change?"

"No," he says, soft but sure. "You look... fine."

Your face pinches.

"Fine?"

"Nice," Levi corrects himself, finally looking away. He fiddles with the stack of magazines he'd been complaining about moments prior. "You look nice."

"Wow, Ackerman, with compliments like that it's shocking that you have to take your best friend as your date to the company party and not one of the countless women I'm sure are knocking at your door."

Levi narrows his eyes, tossing you a withering look.

"You're the one who said we should go together."

"That's because I want to blackout at the open bar, and you're the only person I know who turns down a drink on the corporate dollar," you say with a bright smile.

Levi tuts in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes wandering away from you again. "Charming."

A beat of silence passes.

Levi sucks in a little breath.

"You."

"Pardon?" you ask, and not even because he said it so quietly you barely understood him, but because it doesn't quite make sense.

"Something I keep around just because I like it," Levi says, his eyes fixed so intently on the outdated magazine stack that you're surprised the pages don't burst into flames. "Just because it makes me happy..."

Your heart stutters in its rhythm, a sudden weakness in your knees you can't chalk up to the height of your heels as easily as you may have liked to.

"...Just because it's pretty."

You swallow thickly.

His eyes meet yours.

The time and space between the two of you is thick and sweet like honey, and you wade through it slowly as you fight to find your words. You swear you can almost taste it as your tongue peeks out to moisten your already glossy lips.

"We should probably go," you say quietly, reaching out to adjust the lapel of Levi's suit. If your touch lingers a moment longer than it ought to, if your fingers brush against him in a way that friends' shouldn't, neither of you says anything about it.

Levi nods and clears his throat, taking the slightest step away from you towards your front door. "We gotta get you back before midnight after all, Cinderella."

You blink, a little confused, a little dazed, a little bit of a head rush still clouding your thoughts.

"The mice, remember?" Levi offers when he sees your curious look, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Oh," you laugh, letting your head hang as you nod slightly. "Right."

The two of you make your way down to the parking lot outside of your apartment building towards Levi's car, and you watch as the lights flash when he unlocks it.

"I've got two mugs, by the way," Levi says as he pulls the driver's side door open, and you pause with your hand on the handle of your own. He looks at you over the roof of his car, his eyes suddenly firmer than you'd seen them all night. More insistent. More sure.

You tilt your head, confused.

He ducks down to slide into his seat, but not before calling back to you one last time:

"The other one is yours."

❝ ANGEL

♡ gn!reader x gojo satoru

cw: hurt/ comfort, established relationship

synopsis: gojo is so unserious, but he loves you more than you’ll ever know

wc: 1400+

notes from mei!

hello guys it’s been so long! i’ve rewatched jjk AND WATCHED JJK 0 FINALLY and felt very inspired to write lol (i fully believe gojo is a ginormous piece of shit)

i’m very rusty but i hope u enjoy!

you’ve always known satoru was far different from what people portrayed. he’s so conceited that it’s painful, but you know it’s just because he has insecurities of his own that he feels the need to hide.

he’s not as much of a ladies man as people say—of course, he can have anyone he wants, but he's only ever wanted to be yours.

i’m your perfect match, satoru says, no one can compare!

he’s scared of never-ending cycles and repeated mistakes—of things he should be able to control but somehow can’t—frankly, satoru is the epitome of bullshit.

it’s only now you’ve realized that satoru is the most flawed human you’ll probably ever meet—he’s a wuss who never stops complaining, his mouth going on and on like a never-ending siren. his favourite hobby is to get on people’s nerves then treat himself to that expensive bakery downtown.

satoru is so excellent that his flaws are dimmed by the blinding lights of his perfections.

he can get away with just about anything work wise—but with you and your relationship, there’s a line he constantly loves to jump over, even when he knows you'll never let it slide.

“satoru come on,” you say, hand reaching for his, but as you draw closer you feel a slight resistance, unable to touch him. you draw your hand back, taken aback from his behaviour.

you sigh, quiet and drawn out. gojo feels a chill run through his body as immediate regret pumps through his veins.

"baby—"

"save it, satoru."

he bites his tongue, watching as your eyes glaze over. you turn away from him, crossing your arms as if you were giving yourself a much needed hug. it's silent in his... very large and luxurious penthouse living room and you're once again reminded of the social gap between you and satoru.

for a moment, you can hear the voices of everyone mocking your relationship—criticizing you, laughing at you for even thinking special grade sorcerer gojo satoru could have a soft spot for someone like you.

and you feel played. not by him, but by yourself for believing someone born from money and blessed with strength, could love someone like you—someone who came from nothing and had to work their way up and up, kissing ass and developing thick skin.

you don't think gojo will ever understand how privileged he is.

you also don't think he'll understand how bad he is for you.

"where do you think you're going?" he calls. you think carefully, sliding on your shoes as you undo the lock on his door.

"home."

it's been two days and as your tidying up your apartment, you hear a knock at your door.

you pause, already knowing exactly who it is.

a minute—maybe five passes as you don't hear another knock. you're unnerved because you still see the shadow of him through the very bottom of your door, stubborn as he always is.

you try not to breathe too loud or move too fast, but satoru's always a step ahead and as you're opening your window to escape through the emergency stairs, he's already there.

"that's cold, my love." he says, but it's missing his usual satoru-flare and you know he's not in usual mood.

you don't think you can stomach him being in front of you.

he's wearing his sunglasses, hair down with his hand making sure your window stays open. his other is stuffed in his pocket, casual and uncaring like he always is.

"that's rich coming from you."

satoru loves you.

and it's all he can think about as he looks at you.

he knows you're more hurt than angry, and it's taken him great restraint to not harass you—lovingly—over these past two days. and when he sees you, he realizes he definitely should’ve harassed you instead.

his eyes trace your frown, your posture that shuts him out. he wonders if he'll be able to fix his big mistake.

with you in front of him, gojo doesn't feel like he's the strongest anymore. all the words he prepared to serenade you back into his arms sounded like gibberish and no longer felt right.

"why are you here, satoru?" he doesn't miss the way your voice breaks, "why do you always do this to me?"

tears begin to clump in his your lashes, throat tightening as you stare at him in disbelief. the air is so tense. you feel like you've been stripped bare as a tear rolls down your cheek.

"you make me feel so loved," your voice shakes, "you lift me up so high and make me feel so proud to be me."

satoru wants to tell you that loving you feels so natural.

"but you're so mean," you cry. the tears are falling freely now and you're choking on your words. "you do all these—all these things, making me feel special and—and seen, only for you to neglect me and twist my words a week later, because you can't handle being treated the way you treat me!"

he wants to tell you that seeing you like this is eating him alive.

"you're so ignorant—are you kidding me? thinking i'm overreacting for getting mad th—that you cancelled on like, the third rescheduled date to take on a low-level mission? and when i confronted you about it, forgave you for it, you turn on your infinity when all i wanted to do was hug you?"

your arms fall to your side, sick of his face and the way he’s just standing there silent. "it wasn't even about the date. i feel like you're bored of me and everyone who said we wouldn't last—"

"don't finish that sentence." he interrupts, no longer able to bite his tongue. his lanky figure climbs through your window and you feel even more vulnerable now that he's in your space.

"i'll never get bored of you, you keep me on my toes too much." he lays his cards on the table, knowing this is the last chance he has to prove he loves you more than anything on this earth. "i know how harsh you are to yourself, so i celebrate your tiny achievements because i'm genuinely proud of everything you do. i'm aware that being the best at work doesn't mean i'll be the best boyfriend. i forget that sometimes...” you glare, “most times." he corrects.

satoru takes a careful step toward you. "i care about you—more than you know, i think. you don't deserve to be neglected at all, and you don't.." he inhales through his teeth, "you don't have to put up with me if you don't want to anymore. i know how hard i make it, and i know a sorry isn't going to make it better."

you don't think you've ever seen satoru look so small.

"i can't ask you to stay with me, but we both know how selfish i am, so i'll beg you to stay with me anyways."

he doesn't miss the quick upturn of your lips. but it disappears as fast as it came.

you break eye contact and he feels his world shatter.

"how are you going to fix this?"

"...by reminding you i'm your perfect match?" he squeaks.

you sigh, "you're so unserious."

lanky arms wrap around your figure, caging you against his chest. you close your eyes, naturally sinking into his embrace. "i won't blame you if you break up with me, but i'll just let you know i'll definitely drop dead and you'll be responsible for killing the strongest sorcerer in the universe."

"that doesn’t sound that bad. everyone would know me and fear me—you know how popular i’d be?”

he's silent for a good, long second. "that's cold, my love."

it's so childish, in the way that he speaks. but in a way, he just revealed more to you than his semi-serious little monologue could ever do.

satoru is such a wuss, but he's never had someone love him like you do and he malfunctions. he can't fathom the thought of losing you, but also can't stomach the fact he's not good for you.

but he's trying. you know he is just from the way his knuckles brush against your cheek during the early hours of the morning; you know he's trying when he sneaks off during work to join you on your lunch break.

you know he’s trying because his students say he seems so gentle when he looks at you.

you know he's trying because he's here right now, after showing you he’s not the strongest despite everyone (and himself) proclaiming he is.

your arms curl around him and satoru gets his answer.

he's home.

International team of astronomers discovers two rare binary star systems

An international team of astronomers has identified only the second and third examples of a rare type of star system comprising two central stars orbiting each other, encompassed by a remarkable disk of gas and dust.

“If there were a planet in one of these systems, it would be like the planet Tatooine from Star Wars,” says Michael Poon, a Ph.D. student in the Faculty of Arts & Science’s David A. Dunlap Department of Astronomy & Astrophysics and one of two University of Toronto researchers involved in the discovery.

“You would see two suns in the sky orbiting each other. In addition, there’s a disk around the stars. Picture Saturn’s rings but much, much larger—with the stars in the middle.”

Such disks are referred to as protoplanetary disks because they eventually form into families of planets like our solar system. The newly discovered systems are rare because their disks lie at an angle to the orbits of their central stars.

“The discovery of objects like these is important for our understanding of planet formation,” says J.J. Zanazzi, a postdoctoral fellow in the faculty’s Canadian Institute for Theoretical Astrophysics (CITA). “Planets are born from them so the existence of disks around binary stars shows it’s likely we will find more planets orbiting binaries.

"They’ll also help us understand whether life can exist on a planet that orbits a binary star at an angle because of how that orientation affects temperature and other conditions.”

The discovery of the new objects, designated Bernhard-1 and Bernhard–2, is described in a paper being published July 4 in The Astrophysical Journal Letters.

The lead author is Wei Zhu from Tsinghua University, Beijing, formerly a postdoctoral fellow with the Faculty of Arts & Science’s Canadian Institute for Theoretical Astrophysics (CITA). Zanazzi and Poon are U of T co-authors.

Bernhard-1 and Bernhard-2 are so distant, we can’t see their two central stars individually (such pairs of stars are known as binary stars). Instead, we only see a single point of light and measure the total brightness of the binary.

The researchers identified the new objects by analyzing the complex and distinctive variations in brightness caused by their unusual geometry. A graph of those variations over time is referred to as a light curve and the light curves of the new systems match that of the first such system ever discovered—an object referred to as Kearns Herbst 15D (KH 15D).

The light curves of Bernhard-1 and Bernhard-2 dip to a fraction of their peak brightness—the former for 112 days every 192 days; the latter for 20 days every 62 days. These dips are the sign that one of the stars in each binary is moving behind the disk as seen from Earth. When the star re-emerges, the brightness of the system returns to normal.

Also, when the co-authors compared recent observations with archival data going back decades, they found that both objects varied in brightness over much longer periods. Previous analysis of KH 15D by Poon, Zhu and Zanazzi, along with the work of other researchers, concluded that this long-term pattern revealed that the disk and stars were at an angle to each other.

Because binary stars and their protoplanetary disks condense from the same vast, spinning cloud of material, the disk typically lies in the same plane as the orbits of the stars—just as the orbits of most of the planets and moons in our solar system lie on the same plane. Imagine two figure skaters, holding hands, twirling around each other while other skaters circle the pair; all are skating on the same plane of the surface of the ice.

But KH 15D, Bernhard-1 and Bernhard-2 are rare in that their circumbinary disks are at an angle to the planes of the orbiting stars. Because of this tilt, the disks wobble like a spinning top, a motion referred to as precession, as they move between us and the stars, causing the light of the central stars to dim. For KH 15D, that cycle of dimming could take anywhere from 60 to 6,000 years.

The two types of variations in brightness combine to create the signature light curve of KH 15D-like objects.

The discovery of Bernhard-1 and Bernhard-2 was made when Klaus Bernhard, an amateur astronomer and member of the Bundesdeutsche Arbeitsgemeinschaft für Veränderliche Sterne, analyzed data from the Zwicky Transient Facility. The ZTF’s instrument surveys the entire northern sky every two days, providing data for countless objects over long stretches of time.

Combing through the data, Bernhard uncovered KH 15D-like candidates. He then shared his findings with Poon, Zanazzi and Zhu whose further analysis revealed Bernhard-1 and Bernhard–2.

Now that the researchers have found two more of these rare celestial objects, they are optimistic more discoveries will follow.

“Just this month, Gaia released its most recent data,” says Zanazzi of the space mission that has been observing a billion stars in the Milky Way Galaxy since its launch in 2013. “And now that we have this model for these objects, we’re hopeful we can use it to find more objects to add to the list.”

“We’re also hopeful more observers will look at Bernhard-1 and Bernhard–2 for longer periods,” says Poon. “We’re lucky that KH 15D has been observed at a special time where its orientation causes the light of the central stars to dim. We’re confident that Bernhard-1 and Bernhard-2 also exist in this favorable orientation, so having more observations will increase our understanding of these rare objects.”

IMAGE….Original illustration of protoplanetary disc by Sahl Rowther, et al with binary stars added by Poon, et al. Credit: Poon, Zhu, Zanazzi, U of T; Sahl Rowther, et al, Warwick University

Eros

Tell the moths in my tummy to relocate, please

Synopsis: In which 40° weather grants you insight into Satoru’s powers Word Count: 2.0k

Story Content: Female reader, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Seemingly unrequited pining, Idiots in love but they don’t even know it yet, Slow-burn (doesn’t get anywhere), Crackfic, We learn the many ways in which Satoru can use his technique, Reader POV!

A/N: this is a celcius only household (kidding. but not really.) This has been in my drafts for a reaaaally long time im just glad its out honestly

GOJO SATORU is a frigid blast of cold air during a warm summer day. 

It’s surprising, considering his typical characterisation. People, yourself included, likened him to the sun. Bright and blinding. That’s how the pillar of the Jujutsu world should be, they’d say. He’s the epitome of sorcery. The honored one, they’d praise. 

Just to be clear, you thought of him as the sun for entirely different reasons. Reasons that you weren’t about to go into too detail about. But just as a tiny, small little hint: It had to do with his body temperature. And you were currently being quickly betrayed by what you once thought was fact.

“Am I a portable air-con?”

“Yeah,” you spit at him. Half in betrayal and half in fascination, you huff, gripping his elbows to keep him still as you tuck your body against him, forcing his technique over you with your own. 

The chill settles into your bones and makes you sigh sweetly. It almost makes you forget about how the sun was shining a little too brightly into your eyes. 

In the back of your mind, you can’t help but envy him and his thousand dollar shades. Did he bring a spare? Could you have them? 

Keep reading

School is starting back so I've asked around and compiled some advice and tips to help you do amazing this semester!

Make a calendar and put your class times in it. Schedule in lunch and dinner (and hopefully breakfast) and see what you have left. Schedule in study and homework time, social time, work time, sleep, and chores. I know this is a lot and can be overwhelming, but having a time table helps you to keep to due dates with minimal stress.

Join a club! Make connections. The club doesn't even have to be in your field, just something you enjoy. It helps you make friends, feel more comfortable, and gives you something to look forward to!

Look at your library's calendar. A lot of libraries have events like therapy dogs, book sales, free lunches, and the like that are always fun!

Always have a snack with you. Sometimes that project takes a bit longer than expected and snacks make things so much easier. You can't work well on an empty stomach.

A lot of campuses have trails and stuff. Find them and walk them at least once.

Experiment with your style and identity. Literally no one there cares. Everyone is just as tired and focused on graduating as you are and they won't remember how your hair was or what shoes you wore yesterday.

It's ok to drink and party and have fun! There seems to be a stigma around partying in the academic circle. You can go out every now and then and do stupid stuff and still get good grades.

Do not buy that brand new $2,000 laptop. You don't need it.

Buy that $30 umbrella that won't break in the wind and is big enough to keep you and your backpack dry. You will need it.

Go to office hours. It's a great way to get that recommendation letter.

You failed a test? Oh well. You failed a class? Retake it. Don't stress. This isn't going to be the end all. I promise these things don't matter much after you graduate.

Your GPA isn't a reflection of your abilities. Life happens and you will fumble and fail.

Participate in class. You're paying way too much so take advantage of that. Drain every bit of information from that teacher. I promise they love it.

Take a class that isn't directly related to your degree. If it sounds cool, take it!

Stress eat an entire cake at least once.

Dollar tree seasonings work just the same as fancy, fresh market ones.

Walk campus a few times. Learn where things are. I promise you'll find something weird. My campus used to have a small clown shrine in the woods.

Find someone who has a pet and befriend them.

Learn to cook a vegetable.

Make a Google doc with all the class info and email the link to your classmates. Tell them they can add to it. Notes questions, whatever. At the end of the semester yall will have a giant document with literally anything the teacher could put on a comprehensive final.

Don't buy your textbooks until after the first week or two. 90% of the time you don't need the textbook. A lot of classes (and all common core classes) are required to have a mandatory textbook. But like I said, they probably won't ever use it.

Buy the textbooks and field guides you like and keep them!

Get sleep. Every night. Bragging about not sleeping or hardly sleeping is stupid and very bad for your health.

Slow down. Life goes too fast and I hope you don't have to learn what's actually important in life while at a funeral wishing you spent more time with someone. Please slow down. You don't get time back but you can always make up ah assignment or a class.

Take a semester or summer off. No one cares if you graduate a bit or a lot late. You won't ever get this time again so enjoy it

Have fun! You have an opportunity not granted to a lot of people. But that doesn't mean to work constantly. You should enjoy yourself.

And lastly: calculus made everyone cry it's ok. No one will judge you for it I promise.