Femme Fatale Guide: How To Find & Be A Good Friend To Other High-Value Women

A few notes on indulging in media consumption

When I pay attention to what media I consume and how those make me feel, I realize some of the things I enjoy actually affect me negatively on the long run.

I enjoy listening to Miss Taylor Swift and get nostalgic about previous loves as much as anyone, but I have to realize I gain literally nothing by doing that - I only get drained.

I quite like some shows (and some high quality ones are worth watching, art puts life into perspective) but binge watching Elite will never be as valuable as sitting down to study Castillian Spanish and I have to act accordingly.

I dislike overly-dramatic tear-jerkers, victimhood-inducing news, and all types of media indirectly promoting pity parties.

Writing this as a reminder for myself, as I quite enjoy such stuff from time to time. One needs to discipline herself in terms of what she puts into her brain.

With love,

Marchesa

hi there! i’ve always struggled with being lazy and unproductive. but recently, i decided i want to start being ambitious because i know it will be healthy. but i have no goals to be ambitious for. sure, there’s daily things like exercising more and things, but i don’t have long term goals. i don’t know who i want to be when i grow up or what i want to achieve in life. any tips?

The ambition quest: Mapping out your path to success

Explore your interests: Take the time to try out different activities and hobbies. Whether it's painting, coding, dancing, or even rock climbing, experimenting with various interests can help you discover what truly excites you.

Reflect on your values: Think about the things that truly matter to you. What do you value most in life? Is it creativity, helping others, personal growth, or something else entirely? Identifying your core values can guide you towards meaningful goals.

Dream big, start small: Don't be afraid to dream big and envision the future you desire. Then, break those big aspirations down into smaller, achievable goals. This way, you can make progress step by step while celebrating the small victories along the way.

Embrace trial and error: It's okay to try different paths and make mistakes along the way. Life is a journey of self-discovery, and sometimes we need to explore different avenues to find what truly resonates with us. Embrace the process and learn from every experience.

Seek inspiration: Surround yourself with positive role models and seek inspiration from their journeys. Read biographies, listen to podcasts, or follow influential people in fields that interest you. Their stories can spark ideas and motivate you to pursue your own ambitions.

Visualize your ideal future: Take some time to imagine your ideal life in the future. What does it look like? How do you spend your days? Visualizing your desired future can help you gain clarity and set goals that align with your vision.

Get out of your comfort zone: Growth happens outside of our comfort zones. Challenge yourself to step out of familiar territory and try new things. Pushing your boundaries can lead to incredible personal and professional growth.

Find a mentor or role model: Connect with someone who has achieved success in a field you're interested in. Their guidance and insights can provide valuable direction as you navigate your own path.

Be open to change: Remember that goals and aspirations can evolve over time. Stay open to new opportunities and be willing to adapt your plans as you grow and learn more about yourself.

Enjoy the journey: Embrace the process of self-discovery and goal-setting. Life is all about the ups and downs, the challenges and triumphs. Embrace each step along the way and find joy in the pursuit of your ambitions.

I hope this helps!! xx

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Introduction to the Girl-boss by Day Grandma by Night Era

This era is all about embracing your highest self by focusing on career growth, self-improvement, and relying on a supportive community of like-minded women. It’s a time for productivity, success, and expanding knowledge—while nurturing creativity and self-expression. Ideally, this is a time to invest fully in yourself, uplift others, and build a foundation of success, knowledge, and meaningful connections.

Girlboss Mindset:

★This mindset mainly focuses on career, financial, and personal growth.

★Grind in school and/or work: prioritize studying, aim for all As, get the promotion, network with intention, dress for success, and continue honing professional skills

★Engage in self-improvement workshops (solo or group) once or twice a week on topics like public speaking, financial literacy, tackling your weaknesses, learning important skills, etc.

★Intellectual enrichment and skill building: read daily, listen to audiobooks, learn new skills or hobbies (like learning a language or DIY projects)

★Stay active & healthy: set a workout routine and stick to it, learn self-defense, do weekly pilates and core strengthening, start running, and stick to a healthy diet plan with real food

★Be proactive and cautious: get the fazer pepper spray or other protection, run errands (gym, store) during the day, avoid going out alone at night (even in safe areas), and stay aware of your surroundings.

★Civic duty: listen to informative podcasts from neutral/objective sources (NPR on spotify), if possible participate in public forums and town halls, engage with elected representatives, volunteer, and stay informed for every election especially local

Grandma Mindset:

★This mindset primarily focuses on self-expression and self-care through fulfilling activities and a supportive community of like-minded women.

★Get into gardening & live a self-sufficient life— you can start off with a small garden with herbs you use regularly.

★Set aside time each day for self-expression through nurturing old passions or new ones like journaling, poetry, art, crafting, sewing, etc.

★Prioritize self-care through meditation, grounding techniques, self-love practices, etc

★Shift your social energy from clubbing/bars/dating apps to meaningful connections and prioritizing activities that bring out your best self.

✧Instead of paying to party and being around strangers, try hosting/attending house gatherings, book clubs, wine nights, potlucks, etc with women & trusted allies.

✧Embrace alone time, create a regimen, do self care, do things independently, etc

✧Build a supportive community of women where you can connect, express your thoughts, and share experiences. This space allows for open discussions about potentially harmful/sketchy situations or people, helping everyone stay informed and safe.

✧Redefine dating: focus on self-growth and consider celibacy or, at the very least, raise your standards. Take time to get to know anyone new and prioritize safety by meeting in public spaces and avoiding going back to their place if you barely know them. Also trust your intuition.

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girl, lock in! 📓🍵🩰

UP your water intake! no more bloating here.

7-10k steps a day. move. your. body — walk, chores, park farther. don’t take shortcuts, do it all!

probiotics, protein, fiber.

prioritize whole foods.

educate yourself for an hour a day. NO EXCUSES. listen to podcasts/youtube videos/audiobooks. read an article or book. learn how to cook better or take care of your skin type. just learn something! don’t let your brain be wasted away. it CRAVES growth.

HAVE ADMIN DAYS. make your to do lists, set 3 priority tasks and set 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted time to tackle them. boom.

stop aimlessly shopping. you have everything to need to live. save up! your future self will thank you.

Femme Fatale Guide: Top "Glow Up" Tips & Habits To Become The Best Version of Yourself

Prioritize the Holy Trinity: Nutrition, Movement, & Sleep. Following a whole-foods, plant-based diet with vegetables and/or fruit at every meal and limiting processed foods is one of the simplest ways to improve your overall health. Drink plenty of water, have any necessary supplements (like vitamin B12, vitamin D, omega 3s, etc.), and reduce your consumption of sugary, alcoholic, or caffeine-loaded beverages. Try to incorporate at least 30 minutes of walking and/or a simple 15-20 workout into your everyday routine. Make getting a full night's rest (usually 7-9 hours for most people) a non-negotiable in your life.

Practice Radical Self-Acceptance. Fully embrace your personal values. Get comfortable with your authentic desires. Define and set goals for yourself in every area of your life.

Nourish Your Body, Mind, and Spirit Consistently. Eat a healthful diet (enough food without overstuffing yourself), sleep and move enough throughout the day, and continue learning and educating yourself on current events, your industry/career field, art, culture, history, world languages, etc. Practice mindfulness and self-care activities. Honoring your sexual needs. Giving yourself at least one rest/reset day per week.

Cultivate Sustainable (and Personally-Fulfilling) Routines. Your sleep schedule, work/school schedule, workout schedule throughout the week, social and self-care time, date nights, time for your hobbies, errands, cleaning, and relaxation. Make appointments with yourself to empower you to fulfill all your daily tasks and activities to ensure you can work and play without burning yourself out in the process.

Set Boundaries. With your friends, family, work-life/professional network, romantic and sexual partners, and yourself. Understand your emotional, physical, and energetic limitations. Communicate them clearly, compassionately, and unapologetically. Cut toxic people out of your life. Avoid codependency like the plague. Nurture your healthy and supportive interdependent relationships regularly.

Learn What You Enjoy. Ensure To Incorporate These Products, Routines, and Relationships Into Your Day. It can be a piece of dark chocolate and a favorite T.V. show, a long evening phone call with a loved one, a hot bubble bath, or any other small luxury that gives you genuine pleasure and adds some necessary joy to your day.

Check In With Yourself Regularly. Pivot When Necessary. Self-improvement, goal setting, relationship building, and cultivating unshakeable self-love/life satisfaction takes time, experimentation, trial and error, and tons of self-reflection before you get it right in any area of your life. Be honest with yourself on what's work, what's not, where to remain consistent, and what areas of your life would benefit from a change.

Hey luv💗, What's an unpopular opinion you have on life

Also how are you doing today?

I hope you're doing great✨

Hey babe!

I'm doing fine today, and I really hope you're doing amazing too! Still have finals upcoming but the studying is coming along nicely.

Some people can be really unwilling to take your advice, and that's so energy draining. They might seem open to change, receptive to your advice, make declarations that they want to change and get better. But they're all words no actions.

But the thing is, they're not gonna be really obvious at first. I struggled to distinguish between those that would flourish and return the same to me, and those "puppets of Life". But with time, I've noticed that they tend to lack ambition, creativity, to be really conformist to norms, and anything outside of expected normal is gonna make them deeply inconfortable. Not everyone is made to succeed, some people are gonna stay miserable all their lives and that's NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

Some people are gonna say you're a bitch for not caring about those "puppets of Life" people, sadly. That you're heartless, that those people NEED your help. Prepare yourself for that eventuality.

I've given so much advice and energy to those kind of people and they didn't move one IOTA. And if they move, it was due to life circumstances that gave them no other choice. Like them being fired, a death, etc. Exceptional circumstances.

Those that are worth giving advice to are those that have big dreams, those that don't hesitate to break the mold, those that give you back the SAME energy you send off to those, if not more. Once you come across one of those diamonds, you will FEEL it.

Also, sending off a vibe of ambition, progress, glowing up, will attract same-minded people that will uplift you. It all starts with you.

Everyone else that doesn't returns your effort is to be blocked off. No pity, and that even includes family or friends.

saw this today

my intentional morning routine:

-I wake up around 6 AM, instead of immediately getting on my phone like I used to. I lay in bed for a couple of minutes, allowing my body to realize the transition it is making.

-After that, I immediately drink a full bottle of water. This is pretty easy for me because when I wake up, I’m usually dehydrated even if I don’t realize it yet my body does. I’m able to do this quickly and easily by grabbing a water bottle the night before. By the time I wake up it’s usually warm, warm/hot liquids are actually very beneficial to your digestive system. This helps my digestive system get a head start on the day.

-I move onto making my bed. A step I never used to incorporate because I always felt it was unnecessary but once my bed is made I rarely want to ruin the work I’ve created which urges me to not get back in it.

-Tea. I always drink some type of tea in the morning, my go-tos being ginger or green. This is another thing that I do for my digestive system as well as overall calmness. Instead of doing another task while having my tea, I like to enjoy it and simply take gratitude in the drink.

-I then go into breath work, I do a Nadi Shodhana technique of alternate nostril breathing, as someone with severe anxiety breathing has become a big part of my journey in managing it. Even if I’m not feeling anxious I love to get a head start on it (something I learned from my therapist). I tend to do this practice for a few minutes and find my body in a completely calm state afterward.

The Technique:

*Sit in a comfortable position for me this is usually with my legs crossed.

*Place your ring finger on your left nostril and your thumb on the right.

*Cover your right nostril and breathe in through your left, cover your left nostril and exhale through your right nostril and repeat.

*When you are finally done with this practice exhale fully out of your left nostril.

-The next thing I like to do is engage in prayer and gratitude. I have created a specific prayer that I repeat every morning, although it changes when needed. I simply express gratitude by writing out everything that I am thankful for in that moment in my journal.

-I then move onto hygiene and breakfast which I’ll usually have a smoothie or oatmeal if I’m not fasting.

And that’s my intentional morning routine!

healthy lifestyle habits + changes i’ve made in 2023 (part 1)

1. feeling my breasts (the muscle) for any abnormal lumps at least once a week— this is especially important a week after the first day of my period. i’ve learned this from my obgyn. it’s normal to feel some lumps because it’s a muscle but what’s abnormal would only be known IF you take the time to know your anatomy.

2. ditched soda completely and started drinking flavored seltzer water— what i’ve found to be good is putting a crystal light or water flavoring packet in there for a healthier alternative to soda. i like soda with greasy food because i feel like it helps “cut” the grease so this is good if you are the same way when you eat things like pizza, burgers, etc.

3. i stopped drinking alcohol— wine, spirits, champagne, all of it. if i go out, i order a seltzer with a lime or a mocktail of some sort.

4. i started being on social media less and it has made my sleep schedule better— i started using the queue feature on tumblr and i took less interest in instagram and tiktok. i love these apps but i stopped finding other people more interesting than i am

5. i stopped eating so much—i would mindlessly eat all day but now i have a set eating schedule which helps me focus on other things besides eating. i eat breakfast around 6am, lunch around 1:30pm, and dinner at 5pm. my meals go from big (breakfast) to small (dinner). i’ve noticed that these are the only times i actually get hungry so i’ve been listening to my body and being intuitive in such that i have a routine down.

6. just recently, i have started going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, even on weekends— this has helped me by having increased energy and just a better quality of sleep. i have to wake up at 4:45am on some days because of work so i use that time to wake up everyday and go to bed around 9:30pm.

7. confession: i used to be horrible at flossing, but now i have been flossing every night before i brush my teeth— i floss before so i can loosen up the food that’s lodged between my teeth so that when it’s time to actually brush my teeth, the bristles can get in there better to clean.

8. this is typical and base level, but i’ve been drinking water like crazy— i highly recommend a large, cooling water bottle that you can carry around with you throughout the day. it’s so important to stay hydrated. i aim for a minimum of 64oz, but sometimes reach up to 80oz if it’s hot, if i’m active, etc. i listen to my body but i don’t drink less than 64oz of water each day

9. i’ve been getting my body moving daily— it’s a privilege to move your body so i make the effort each day to be active. the days i work at the hospital, i’m on my feet my entire shift pretty much with the exception of my lunch break. when i’m charting, i try to stand instead of sit but i do allow myself to sit when i’m tired. so my hospital shifts allow me to be active and walk my 10,000+ steps each day but when i’m not at the hospital, i go to the gym and do an hour workout session there.

10. i started drinking my coffee black— it’s so gross, but i need the caffeine for work but i don’t want to have the unnecessary sugars that i like to have in my coffee. i’m starting to get used to it (kinda) and i don’t have those crashes like i used to when i did put cream and sugar in my coffee. occasionally i’ll have a sugary and creamy coffee, but it’s not a daily occurrence like it was before.