Baby's Excited To Be Back!

words to use when writing

Appetite:

craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal

Arouse:

agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up

Assault:

attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound

Beautiful: 

admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting

Brutal:

atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild

Burly:

able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed

Carnal:

animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean

Dangerous:

alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous

Dark:

atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched

Delicious:

enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty

Ecstasy:

delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled

Ecstatic:

delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild

Erotic:

amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing

Gasp:

catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, winded 

Heated:

ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous

Hunger:

appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst

Hungry:

avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting

Intense:

forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous

Liquid:

damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping

Lithe:

agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry

Moan:

beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl

Moving:

(exciting,) affecting, effective  arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling

Need:

compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen

Pain: 

ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart

Painful:

aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded

Perverted: 

aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vile 

Pleasurable:

charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent

Pleasure:

bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heaven 

Rapacious:

avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering

Rapture:

bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy

Rigid:

adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering

Sudden:

abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning

Thrust:

(forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel

(push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick

Thunder-struck:

amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken aback 

Torment:

agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe

Touch:

(physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrap 

(mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize

Wet:

bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water

Wicked:

abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched

Writhe: 

agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yank 

There is something so beautiful about reaching out to the monstrous with intent to touch it gently. To risk the sharp teeth and the lethal claws, to defy fear and revulsion, and choose to be delicate with something that can be, and often is, incredibly brutal.

Requests Closed!

Thank you everyone for the asks! I am closing requests now. There are some 20 or so asks for me to answer.

I'll start on them as soon as I finish my latest Alucard oneshot. My one-track mind doesn't allow me to write anything else until a story is finished haha.

Madara's Off Label Rinnegan Use HC

He is so beautiful.

Since the Sharingan was discussed, I should probably cover Madara's Rinnegan as well considering he spent a lifetime waiting to obtain them. Madara first appeared with the Rinnegan as an Edo Tensei (before we were shown flashbacks of him as a senior). Edo Madara was literally a walking corpse (but still hot). Why are you romantically/sexually interested in him 😈? But then he came back to life, so fine, let's think about this.

Madara in the 4th Ninja War wasn't looking for love. If you tried to honey trap this version of him, he'd impale you with his rod, take a selfie, and leave you for dead. So for the sake of this post, we'll say this is a living Madara in his younger adult days before VotE, when he might have been more receptive to love. And he's not fixated on the Moon's Eye Plan but has the Rinnegan. Madara using his Rinnegan on his S/O should probably be considered excessive use of force, but Madara is nothing if not a drama king. What the king would do to/for you with his divine eyes is quite straight forward:

Limbo- he can summon up to 4 intangible clones in another dimension who can do things that you can feel, although you can't initiate interaction with them in return. Think about what that means.

Madara has greater mastery over his chakra rods than the others who borrowed his eyes. He can penetrate your special places with chakra rods without them being insanely hot to touch. With your chakra suppressed and you now significantly weaker, he can almost certainly control your movement with this method if you're being willful.

Deva path- pull you to him (lightly? Can Bansho Ten'in be gentle?) if he wanted you close or you were trying to run from him

Animal Path- summon giant animals for you to ride. They'd crush the surrounding scenery, but if you asked, he'd probably summon them for you

Naraka Path- restore you to good health, although I doubt you'd ever be injured and need healing with Madara watching over you

Outer Path- if he loves you, you are always a higher priority than himself. There is no meaning to life without you. He'll readily sacrifice his life to bring yours back with Rinne Rebirth

What he wouldn't do to you as his S/O:

Extract your soul

Squish you (and potentially himself) via a huge rock

Put you through a wall with Shinra Tensei. Ouch

Use his Asura path body weapons

Use his chakra chains. They cause significant pain to the victim

I think the Sharingan is more fun in daily life, while the use of Rinnegan is just overkill. He has numerous other ways of catching/restraining/etc without needing to use these eyes.

Madara to the bijuu. Different context, same idea

100%. This scene only seems funny, but it's actually heart-wrenching. Madara did his best

thinking about this anime-only scene and how despite its silliness, it perfectly illustrates the dynamic between madara, hashirama and the village.

when the both of them see the child fall, madara is the one to rush over. not that hashirama doesn’t care, but he simply isn’t immediately spurred into action to help like madara is. it’s a reminder that madara is fundamentally kind and caring, he has good intentions! yet the girl in question isn’t put at ease by him at all. taking into account how she seems too young to have encountered madara in the warring states era, her reasons to distrust him aren’t tied to any personal hurt; she judges based on appearances, and madara’s doesn’t seem to evoke anything good. the situation has only escalated, the girl now scared and crying, until hashirama appears and immediately calms the girl down, due to his natural charisma (in the scene before this one, we see how the entire village happily and respectfully greets hashirama as he passes by, with someone even handing him that flower as a gift). it’s only after hashirama has shown up that the girl thanks madara too, and the issue finally resolves itself.

this pretty much represents the whole of the village. madara isn’t really trusted by anyone there, and mostly seems to be given a pass only because hashirama covers for him. despite madara’s own efforts to grow and become a kind and worthy leader to the village, he remains very dependent on hashirama’s charisma and reputation to even be given the time of day. so then of course, once hashirama’s efforts to defend madara begin to wane as he starts to side with the village too, it’s only natural that everything comes crashing down.

Madara's realistic headcanons

I wasn't sure if people are ready for my realistic headcanons, but finally I just did it. Just in case it's not for everyone.

trigger warning : Involve suicidal thoughts, depression, violence to women and children, panic attack, eroticization of pain, self-hate.

From the time Madara was born Uchiha clan was not anymore a wealthy family. Because of instability, farmers fled combat zone, The lands they owned had become wilderness. Yet they kept their prestige among population and their children still received an education similar to noble family.

He suffered from malnutrition in his childhood, and starved himself to give food to his brothers but thanks to his good stamina it didn't really affect his physical abilities during his youth.

His hair cut, short in front and longer in the back is a result of heavy use of katon which literally burning his locks. But it's part of his charm.

He wore gloves for the same reason, fire makes his skin getting softer and sensitive.

He always has this slightly burning smell on him and all his clothes. It doesn't matter the number of shower or washing machines.

His long mane was not originally for aesthetic purpose, but just carelessness, then an excuse to hide his face and emotions, and finally his trade mark. People were wondering how strong or/and crazy he was to keep such long hair while it was not suitable during a fight. it can be set on fire, wedge in his armour, catch by an opponent...

He was almost blind up to Izuna's death. He expanded greatly his sensorial skills because he needed to rely on it daily.

His insomnia came from overthinking and fear of failure. He rarely sleeps more than 3 hours per night, He occasionally does micro nap (10 min max) during the day.

During his insomnia phases, and if the moon is full to avoid using candles, he read a lot of ancient philosophy, history, military strategy from Uchihas library.

He never married, never had a serious relationship. He had romantic view on someone now and then, but he never pursued it actively. Wars, fear of loosing again someone dear. Plus, he was convinced that his life as shinobi will be short, out of question to leave behind him widow and orphans.

This being said, let's be honest a man with such level of testosterone won't stay virgin all his life. And it's a common knowledge next to any military camp there is always prostitutes. He did his business in total discretion, to the point his clan questioned his orientation. He was a loyal client but cold and distant, ruthless during act, even after years of visiting the same persons.

Like many shinobis, he occasionally was subject of panic attacks. When he felt the symptoms coming, palpitations, pain in his chest ect... he always found a way to isolate himself. His triggers were always fear of loosing people he loves, fear of loosing control of himself, fear of not reaching his objectives. He hated himself when it happens.

He can be very rude and harsh to people. But what he said to others is half as hard he criticise himself daily.

90% of his schedule out of missions or fights were training. His dedication is obsessional.

10% left, during days of celebration, he is pretty good at calligraphy and writing haiku. Because he's a shinobi, he is specialized in death poems that warriors write before going to an important battle. But he burns them as soon as he comes back home. Doesn't want anyone to know about his poetic side at least when he's still alive.

After so many years of receiving punches, his tolerance to pain was extremely high which could be a problem sometimes, while fighting and high by adrenaline he often didn't realise how serious were his wounds.

Considering the number of battles he has been involved his body is covered with scars more or less ugly. And I'm sorry to say it, but I'm sure his face has not been preserved intact. He was kind of reckless during fight and didn't care about his physical appearance.

Paradoxically while he genuinely want to cease war, he find an erotic attraction in fight to death. Like people attracts to extreme sport, he feels the more alive when risking his own.

The reason why there is almost no uchihas kunoichi is practical. They want to preserve their bloodline and a female dead in battlefield is a loss for the future of the clan since they don't married outside their clan. Men would in rare situation when there is no women available but never female uchihas.

They have a practice close to what did Rajput warrior caste in India called Jauhâr , if enemies attack uchihas basement and battle is definitely lost, women of honour are expected to do self-immolation with their children rather than being kidnap, rape or put into slavery.

Like Naruto /Sasuke fight, the valley of the End left him with irreversible wounds, like chronic pains. And probably as well for Hashirama too maybe a slow down to his regenerative cells.

After the valley of the end, it was symbolically the death of his previous life as an uchiha. But he partially lived in his cave. He might occasionally travel undercover to look for informations, and food. It's only after Hashirama's death. He entirely took an ascetic lifestyle, denied of any pleasure, reduce to minimal for surviving. There was nothing anymore who could attached him from this physical world aside his plan. He let the white zetsus doing the main job as spy.

Without Gedo statute he would probably have die before his 40 of general exhaustion. There is always a price to pay when someone burns with such feral intensity his vital energy, submit himself to extreme training since childhood, fighting, lack of sleep, stress, depression. (Itachi can talk about it !)

During his fifty years retreat in the cave when he was not studying for his Moon plan spend 50% of the time within his genjutsu, rewatching endlessly the same memories with Izuna, Hashirama, deceased people he missed from Uchiha clan. And the older he gets, the longer he spend into his illusion. Kind of like an opium addiction.

Mentally he stops ageing at the time Izuna died, around 25. Exactly the appearance he looks when he put Obito into his illusion.

After decades of not seeing Rinnegan appearing he was almost in the verge of giving up the plan of the moon. Black Zetsu was paradoxically the one who save his life many time and put him back in track.

He is not the type to consciously commit suicide, but rather putting himself in suicidal situations like attacking alone an army or neglecting his health. In the cave, he put himself so deeply into his genjutsu that many time he forgot to control his chakra and if black zetsu didn't wake him up he would had just die inside his dream.

And if you want to read more about my Madara's analysis follow me in my main page here

It's just a troll but they got the outrage they were fishing for from me at least 🤯🤬

A Night for Hunting Ch.5- Obsession isn't Love

T/W: Alucard (Ultimate) x F!Reader, yandere, jealous vampire, centipedes, alcohol consumption & intoxication. Please take the Uber or stay over with your host after a night out and don’t try to walk home alone when you’re almost blackout drunk.

Btw I believe vampires like Alucard are extremely smell-driven. I hope the wait for this chapter was worth it! Happy long weekend Canadian and American readers! Words: 5029 On AO3

A rustle of cloth, a merging with the outer brick walls. With the grace of a summer breeze, the mass of blackness was inside, brushing past the quaint decor of a modest apartment. The vampire was one with the darkness, crawling along the walls, skimming the surfaces of your home to survey his territory. His findings were immediately apparent. He scented the elaborate floral arrangement upon phasing through the walls and making his entrance and approached to inspect it. It was a lovely display of blossoms, dense clusters of blue hyacinths in full bloom threw off their sweet, earthy smells, mixed with orangey-pink roses and dramatic peonies. The arrangement sent a gentle fragrance, which was quite pleasant, wafting throughout your home. The only issue was it also carried the hint of an unfamiliar male's scent. The vampire frowned.

You weren't there, unexpectedly. Alucard spent several minutes poking around, checking the windows and locks as he did the very first time he invited himself in to ensure they were secure. Everything else was as they should be. He glanced once more at the neatly arranged bundle of cut flowers in a vase. 

With a swish of his duster tails, the vampire vanished from your home without a word, setting out to haunt the streets and look for his human.  ---------------------

“Cheers!” You laughed heartily as you and your family clanged your glasses together. Dinner unfurled over the course of hours, where you noisily exchanged recent amusing stories to catch up. One of them retold the story of their nurse colleague telling the unit administration of a patient’s family complaining about wanting reimbursement for the deceased patient’s bursted breast implants after CPR, only for the admin to find out it was a joke the nurse made up when they were finally ready to go talk to the family. You were howling in laughter because they couldn’t not take such a complaint seriously! In retaliation, the admin arranged for one of the most serious attending physicians to inform that nurse they were being reported to Legal, freaking the nurse out, only to find out immediately that that was also a prank. It was brilliant. You nearly snorted your drink in laughter. The restaurant atmosphere was raucous and electric, but alas, all good things came to an end.

Finally, you had to bid your family a bittersweet goodbye with numerous embraces. Everyone was too drunk to drive home, which was to be expected after not seeing each other in so long. It was a splendid gathering, but maybe you overdid the drinks despite having eaten so much. You waved off their suggestions to book an Uber, stating it was still much earlier in the night than when you normally headed home after work. They were worrying for nothing. The walk will help you clear the alcohol.

You exited at the bus stop nearest your home. For once, there were people around. They chattered with the same excited buzz that mirrored your own earlier. The local shops remained open at this hour to serve the nighttime crowd, yet you couldn’t place what it was that felt off. Brushing the vague feeling of apprehension aside, you rode the high off the fantastic get-together with a feverish spirit and a spring to your steps.

It was now warm day and night. The streets were pleasantly calm despite the occasional clamour. It was nice to see signs of life as you headed home earlier for once. Even if that irritating vampire came to stalk you, so what? You felt as if nothing could dampen your glow tonight.

You were only tipsy, which was the best state of alcohol consumption to be in, in your opinion. Your steps remained steady as you thought about a multitude of things –what activities to pass the time with tomorrow, what to eat, whether you should work extra shifts this week. 

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, you felt the blanket of inebriation fall over you. Your thoughts wandered and seemed less your own. Your gait grew unsteady with more stumbling and weaving as you continued the journey. 

You swore you were only tipsy not too long ago. It was an interesting sensation when your mind was still aware of the body not entirely obeying. Luckily, you were able to place one foot in front of the other to take the nearly automated path home, which you knew like the back of your hand, even with the mind becoming clouded and not operating completely voluntarily. 

The excitement of the day finally caught up and you were spent. You wanted nothing more than to take off your makeup and fall naked into the welcoming softness of your bed. Closing your eyes briefly felt great, but you abandoned that after a few attempts. You were so much more nauseous with your closed eyes. Uh oh.

Step. Step. Placing a hand on the wall to steady yourself, you looked around. Good, there was the supermarket, followed by the stop sign with an ad for a dog walker nailed to it, as you expected. You were almost home.

It was so quiet now that you reached this part of the neighbourhood. Normally, you were hyper-aware of your surroundings during your nighttime commutes, especially after that vampire started following you around last year, but tonight, you didn’t even hear the leaves rustling or the typical sounds of wildlife and cars. Were you just too drunk tonight to notice the things you should?

How much did you drink? When was the last time you found yourself in this sorry state? Now that you focused on it, you felt the wind blowing and finally rustling the thick foliage of the trees overhead, only gently, yet it fed the nausea. You shoved it down and kept stumbling. Almost there. --------------------

Alucard drifted through the skies, occasionally landing to survey your usual commute routes before alighting once more. It was too soon for you to be coming home on a work night, yet he hadn’t detected your scent at all along your preferred routes to work earlier. It seemed you were free tonight, but weren’t home either. 

Twice his supernatural senses identified the signs of ghouls in the vicinity and he made a detour to dispose of them. Several shots to the head each, before he continued his search silently. In truth, only one bullet was required to end either of the ghouls, but Alucard was never one to be frugal with his silver. His jaw tightened. Where there were ghouls, there were usually more, maybe even a vampire.

As he circled restlessly back into your neighbourhood, he happened upon your scent in the air after too long and closed in on his little one, only to be overcome by the sweet smell of alcohol and the stench of vomit. He crept up to examine the sad sight of you hunched over and heaving to dispel the poison in your body. It seemed you were empty, so you stood to continue shuffling along as if nothing had happened after a swipe of the mouth. He was strangely irritated. Were you even aware of the risks you took tonight?

“How pitiful. And utterly stupid of you.”

Oh. You felt so ill. Did someone say something? Very belatedly, you turned to address the noise. Something huge and red was approaching from behind and you tensed up, fearing the worst. Oh. You tried to focus. It was only Alucard. A confusing feeling of relief washed over you, which was almost comical. Since when did seeing your stalker feel reassuring?

The vampire caught the passing sentiment before his attention snapped back as you started giggling. “I can see your eyes in the shadows. You don’t scare me anymore.” Your palm pressed against your lips as you kept laughing to yourself.

Crimson eyes narrowed slightly as he loomed near. “You were not home tonight,” he murmured.

"No really? You aren’t my dad. I don't have to justify where I am to you," you slurred and wagged a finger at him, then turned and sashayed away like a queen with the vampire following a few paces behind. 

Step, step, step.

Perhaps you weren’t as close to home as you thought. Did you remember the path wrong? No, the supermarket, the stop sign. You sighed. So tired. It felt like your mind was wrapped in cotton candy. Squinting, you sat down gingerly on the curb to think about where you were.

“I’m only taking a short break,” you garbled to your companion.

You fell asleep sitting on the curb, leaving the nightwalker staring incredulously, even if it wasn’t apparent on his face. Now that you were away from the pool of vomit, he detected the scent of other men on you. He frowned again. He didn’t like waiting, and the irritation grew stronger with each whiff.

You eventually came to and started to walk again, only to sit down with crossed legs in the middle of the street for another break not long after as you wondered why this was taking so long. 

This was ridiculous. Alucard stood over you, bent down, and plucked you off the ground, swinging you smoothly into a bridal carry. You were already blacked out. Distaste that even the vomit didn’t elicit nipped at his consciousness, but with your comfortable weight in his arms and his scent rubbing off on your body, everything became more tolerable.  

Your eyes were shut and being off your feet was comfortable, but the repetitive up and down movement was jarring. Why were you sloshing around up and down? Overcome with nausea, you couldn’t hold it anymore. “!!!” You threw up against a velvety, solid surface and felt instant relief before fading away. 

Having arrived at your building, Alucard huffed at the odor and the inconvenience of your vomit on his chest. He gently placed you on the ground and turned immaterial so that the emesis puddled at the ground before he reformed a few paces away and picked you back up. 

A silver vehicle slowed as it passed him. What a bother. He seemed to be quick to aggravate tonight. Alucard slipped off his orange-tinted sunglasses with an extra hand and held the driver captive with his bewitching gaze when they ignorantly made direct eye contact.

There is nothing wrong.

T-there is…n-nothing wrong. A small voice repeated.

The vehicle drove off, leaving the two of you alone once more. He stared at your delicate features. Disregarding the show you put on earlier, you looked peaceful now. The handsome vampire sauntered to the side of the building and casually strolled up the wall under the cover of darkness before stepping onto the balcony. With just a thought, it unlocked itself and he brought his cargo inside to carefully unload onto the couch.

He was on the other couch as he watched the gentle rise and fall of your chest and listened to your rhythmic breathing. Somehow you managed to spare your clothing a bath in your own stomach contents. His eyes narrowed, his lips a thin line as the stench of foreign males on your body invaded his senses again. The flowers only annoyed him now. His fingers tapped along the armrest as he kept taking in your features. --------------------

It must have been only around a quarter hour later when you stirred. You were dazed and jumpy when you made out the glowing crimson orbs fixed on you. With a nervous glance back at Alucard's inhuman gaze, you stumbled through the dark, making your way to the washroom for a quick shower and to remove the makeup. You experienced an episode of dry-heaving, but thankfully, there was nothing left to hurl. You brushed your teeth.

You were indeed less intoxicated now. How humiliating to be seen the way you were. Still…Alucard helped keep you safe tonight while you floundered about the streets like a proper drunkard. You glimpsed yourself in the mirror and acknowledged how you looked as terrible as you felt. Some food would help settle your stomach right now.

As you made your way down the hall, the lights came on for you. Alucard’s doing. There he was, staring imperiously at you with his legs crossed. The hat and jacket were still on.

“I…um…”

“...”

“Would you like anything to drink? Coffee? Tea? Um, I don’t want to look at alcohol right now haha,” you stated sheepishly.

“...” His eyes were so very red and luminous. Did he look displeased?

Unsure of how to act right now, you broke eye contact first and looked everywhere except in his direction. “How about something to eat?” You awkwardly stuck a hashbrown and some frozen nuggets into the small countertop convection oven and waited for him to say something.

“Attempting to come home alone in your state was unwise, human.”

Part of you wanted to argue, only because that was how you were used to interacting with him, but he was right. You’ve made better life decisions before.

“It was…” Your head hung low. “Thank you for bringing me home tonight,” you mumbled.

Alucard’s gaze softened, even if the tingle of vexation remained at the back of his mind. His eyes closed as he exhaled. “Coffee. Just black.” Crimson irises spun into a lovely sunset hue.

Your brows lifted at his sudden change in demeanor as you looked back at him before rushing to prepare his beverage. French press was your preferred method. Soon enough, you had a steaming cup of black in front of him.

You sat by yourself at the table while nibbling on your small portion of greasy comfort food. It was stranger than ever tonight when you didn’t feel like snapping at your guest. Was this creature worried about you? Why did he help you? Was it so that only he got to have you? All he ever did was torment you, but tonight, through the fog of the fragmented pieces you remembered, he was almost…kind.

The coffee smelled a blend of smoky and nutty, a heavenly mixture nearly as good as what Walter served. The taste…Alucard smiled bitterly. It must be delicious, but it was nothing more than piss water to his vampiric taste buds. The joys of food consumption were a distant memory from lifetimes ago and one of the few things he missed about his human life. Watching the effort you put into preparing each meal, studying your eating habits and your enjoyment of your meals truly made him nostalgic.

“How is the coffee?” You ventured a question.

“Excellent.” Alucard finished the glass without a hint of betraying his true thoughts on your first demonstration of hospitality towards him.

So vampires can drink coffee. You wondered what else he consumed besides the obvious. Chewing lightly on the corner of your lower lip, you crossed your ankles, then uncrossed them immediately when it didn't feel as comfortable as expected. There was a spider crawling across the corner of the ceiling. You brought your gaze back down from the arachnid to stare at the cuticles of your nails. 

It was so quiet tonight, you realized as you shifted your weight again. Was there no one else at home on the floor? As always, he was staring so intently, like he was trying to bore holes through your head. You swallowed before getting up and going over to your new flowers, missing your guest's deep frown. 

His human was anxious. You were, as was often the case, intensely uncomfortable in his presence. Not only did the sour tang waft off your pores, you wouldn't stop fidgeting in your seat, although he wasn't even attempting the things he usually did to distress you. Alucard's frown grew as he watched you put your nose in the blooms to sniff and then sigh.

How nauseating. "Lovely blooms, little one."

"Yes they were a gift from a friend." Your expression was soft. 

You were recalling another man fondly, one you were barely acquaintances with. A friend. His eyes hardened into slits, nostrils flaring at the scent he was forced to inhale a thousand times more powerfully than you ever could, even from a distance.

His satisfaction about your new hospitality was gradually fading away, only to be replaced with inexplicable agitation. Gloved fingers drummed restlessly against the plush armrest. 

"Human courtship is such a delicate ritual, entirely lacking in creativity or passion," he commented.

You tensed. "It was a sweet gesture. Not everyone is as uncouth as some."

A challenge? A devilish grin painted his lips and he chuckled in anticipation. He loved when you fought.

"Your florals, the prized jewels cut from their mother plants at the height of their prime? Doomed to perish within the week. Elegant as they are, they're a fleeting beauty, nothing more than the living dead clinging pathetically to a semblance of life," he stated wryly.

There it was, the vampire's freaky smile. Reminding yourself that nothing had changed between you, that he was still an infuriating ass, you retorted, "Human courtship should be slow. Morbid as your comparison was, flowers are a symbol of romance and love, not that someone like you would know about those things, even if you were human at some point."

"Love?” He cocked his head. "I do know of that emotion." His eyes flashed dangerously as he rose from the couch to stalk closer with his fangs bared, causing you to stagger backwards from your spot in alarm. The chair you sat in earlier fell over with a clatter, and for several seconds, you stared at each other silently. You didn't dare blink in those moments as your breath hitched, your pupils were dilated and veins coursing with adrenaline, the entirety of your attention focused on the supernatural creature who stood like a reaper in your living room.

The truce was over, you realized, and you fought to blink back tears. Alucard didn't do more to threaten you, but the situation took a nosedive for the worse during the last few minutes of exchange. Feeling like you were backed into a corner with no way to turn the conversation around, you excused yourself meekly and headed for bed, exhausted, the vampire luckily not pressing you more for now, though he tracked your movement with predatory precision as you brushed past him.

Alucard watched the bedroom door shut, followed by the distinctive click of the lock turning, as if that would keep a monster out. But you knew as well as he did that the locked door was merely symbolic. He was unwelcome in the inner haven of your refuge. He tasted the salt of your tears as clearly as he heard the sobs from beyond that door. The trail of fear you left in your wake annoyed him right now, with this revelation only serving to annoy him even further in a cyclical loop. What was this feeling? For him, your fear was normally a reliable source of arousal and delight. 

He redirected his thoughts away from the troublesome emotion and replayed tonight’s events. You unknowingly put yourself in danger, not only from the undead. The night streets were not a place for a naive little human such as yourself. There were plenty of unsavoury outcomes he listed to himself when he was combing the streets for signs of your presence, only to finally find you delirious from drink and vulnerable. It was a relief no one else got to you first.

After the shower, you were thankfully cleansed of the filth of another male's touch, yet you also removed his scent from your skin. He couldn’t find the word to describe the feeling, but he was malcontent with tonight's turn of events.

Historically, he was not averse to sharing his human companions. Man, woman, something else, it mattered little to him. There was a hedonistic gluttony to enjoying the flesh of multiple humans simultaneously. It wasn't completely true when he said he didn't eat human flesh. Through lidded eyes, he imagined the taste of your skin and salivated. How sweet would the slick of your flower be? What did your petals look like? Yet the idea of another’s touch on your skin was simply distasteful. He growled in a low, threatening pitch that was nearly imperceptible to human ears.

He was a king. But he could be an uncouth savage as well.

---------------------

You woke up in the middle of the night feeling parched. Despite the snack earlier, you still felt the hangover developing. There was a pounding headache in your temples and persistent nausea that made it feel like your stomach was going to devour itself. The clock read 0440. Even if your room was pitch black thanks to the blackout curtains, it was almost sunrise during these warm summer months and the vampire surely must be gone. You needed some water.

It was still dark outside when you emerged from slumber and felt around along the wall for where you expected the light switch to be, only to have something hairy rush across your fingers. You pulled back in shock. What was that? Something small and fuzzy brushed against your foot and you shot backwards, crushing another little thing underfoot with a quiet crunch. 

Then you heard it, the eerie scuttering of legs…like millions of tiny taps that coalesced into a symphony of rustling noise. You stood frozen in the middle of the hallway, trying to make sense of what was going on to cause such a disturbance when the lights suddenly came back on by themselves. 

You stayed frozen as you blinked blindly in the garish light before letting out a soundless gasp at the disgusting sight that greeted you. Unable to process it, you only trembled in horrified disbelief. They were everywhere, thousands, no, possibly hundreds of thousands or more, of centipedes scampering freely, covering every surface in your home. They formed a writhing, undulating mass of scurrying legs that made the walls come alive with movement. More daring specimens ran across your feet and you madly kicked your feet to keep them clear.

It was revolting, truly a thing of nightmares.

Finally, you screamed. 

“A-ah…AHH. AHHHHH. AHHHHHHHH.” With your lips tremoring, you caught your breath as the realization of what you were looking at settled in. Centipedes. Why centipedes?! You hated the nasty critters –the more legs, the more harrowing they were. Several leggy abominations tried to scurry up your legs.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

If this was a joke, he went way too far. You screamed and screamed and screamed, until the damned beast stole your voice to silence you, and still you tried to scream.

Thousands of eyes opened on the walls and floor of your home, and he appeared in the middle of it all, surrounded by an ominous crimson aura and a gigantic eye on his chest, his pet centipedes crawling up his torso.

You clenched your eyes to protect yourself from the sickening sight, your revulsion rolling off of you in waves as your throat finally gave in. You were coughing and hyperventilating as he approached with a frown and furrowed brows while you batted wildly at the air to keep him at bay. At last you found your voice again and you shrieked for him to leave with a hoarse voice.

“What is wrong with you?! Nevermind, just get out! I don’t want to see you!” Your eyes snapped open and you stared at him with a frenzied look. “I’m not yours or your toy! You’re just this thing that follows me around and won’t let me be!” You sobbed, your hands flapping in the air as you gestured to make your point clearer.

When the monster didn’t say anything, you continued. "I don't want you! You can have anyone you want, just leave me alone!" Your voice broke and you trailed off with a whimper as you buried your face in your hands and wept in despair.

The centipedes dissolved into nothing like they were never there. The eyes disappeared. Alucard took another step towards you awkwardly, intending to provide comfort, only to realize he didn’t know how. Your tears bothered him, confused him, and he was stung by the rejection. He somehow didn’t like how he upset you this time.

“Why can’t you just find another toy to play with? I don’t want to be part of your twisted games anymore.” Your face must be so swollen from the crying. Your vision was blurred from the tears and you could hardly breathe through the snot and the hiccups.

There was banging on your door. “Is everything okay in there?” It must be the friendly neighbour down the hall coming to check in on the commotion. You gasped and turned to Alucard with a distraught expression as you swiped at your eyes, hoping against all odds he wasn’t going to retaliate against the good Samaritan for the disturbance.

His face was shadowed. All these disruptions tonight. All is well. Leave us. He directed the thought towards the nosy human outside in the hall.

The neighbour knocked again, albeit more hesitantly while calling out your name. Alucard’s lips curled. He strode to the entrance, shocking you out of your stupor and you rushed after him in dread, grabbing his hand to stop him from…you weren’t sure. Was he going to kill your friend on the other side of the door? All you knew was that Alucard was extremely dangerous right now, but your weight did nothing to slow him.

He ripped open the door and glared at your neighbour while you dangled off his arm. The smell hit him. This…was the same man who gave you those fucking flowers, who you thought of fondly earlier. He hissed and the man lurched back from the towering menace in front of him. The hiss warped into a growl and the vampire took another step forward, sadistic pleasure filling his mind as the scent of absolute fear from the craven piece of rubbish permeated the hall.

“Alucard! Alucard!” A familiar voice called him with urgency. It was a voice he dreamt of when his dreams weren’t filled with violence, pain, and humiliation. It was you.

Alucard came back to himself and saw you. He glanced at the man outside, who had fallen over on his ass and urinated himself, before looking back at you. You were still tugging at his gangly arm, staring at him with huge frightened eyes, an imploring look in your face that begged him to stop. He composed himself. His human was begging him for something only he could provide, even if it was something as simple as ‘not ending the life of the other man in front of him.’ You even used his name.

He nearly laughed, the crimson in his eyes were molten. “There is nothing wrong here. Forget everything that happened,” he ordered the beleaguered human man sitting in rank piss, who gawped at the profane beast in a trance before the door shut on his face.

Inside the condo, Alucard turned his attention back to you with a sideways glance. You thought he didn't want you, Alucard realized. You assumed he was still only toying with you, that you were just a quarry animal for him to trifle with in his spare time. What was this feeling? This unpalatable feeling of distress at the thought of you by another’s side without him? 

“...You…are not a mere toy.”

You remained petrified after just narrowly averting one disaster. Your puffy red eyes met his. “Then what am I, if not a toy? What is this?” You asked with a whisper and released his arm.

His gaze flickered briefly to the floral arrangement, but you caught it. Realization dawned as you suddenly understood what just happened tonight with clarity. All this, because of some bloody flowers? He was silently looking at you with his hands at his side, his head at a slight tilt.

You went rigid. It was with trepidation regarding any more confrontation when you started speaking again, trying desperately to put your rambling thoughts into coherent sentences. “No, no, no, no, no, don’t say it. What you’re feeling, it’s just possessiveness and jealousy. You don’t actually care about human life. A selfish monster with no obligations or morals, as if something like you would ever understand what love is. You can pretend, but in the end, your obsession is nothing but a poor imitation." 

The creature’s expression fell the tiniest fraction. It was indiscernible if you weren't already looking at him through glassy eyes. You would feel guilty about it if you weren't so incensed by his idea of a joke and drained by all that transpired. 

He brushed away the disappointment from your rejection. Possession. Yes, it was what the vampire King wanted, to have you. He needed to show you. Pushing down the discomfort, he reacted aggressively to your words, a gloved hand shooting out to scruff you by the front of your shirt and pull you roughly to him.

“You are mine.”

Cold lips slammed against yours with a growl. You slapped him and staggered away, the sharp sound of the impact cutting through the muted background noises of your home. 

"Get out," you ground out. His three simple words confirmed everything you said moments ago.

The vampire stalked towards you and you felt the chill down your spine. Hellfire. Those were the eyes of a remorseless murderer, but you didn’t back down from the threat. 

“What? Are you going to kill me?”

He snorted and caged you against the wall with his arms. “As if you are worth killing. Treat your life with more reverence, foolish human.”

Wearing an aggrieved smile, his gaze ran slowly down the contours of your face. The rising sun casted a rosy hue across the sky, his body backlit by the gentle golden rays of promise. You couldn’t help but stare. The vampire looked nearly ethereal in this light.  

Alucard closed his eyes and withdrew. There was nothing more to be said and he should be returning. A new day was dawning. Sparing one last look back at you, he disappeared and left you alone, as you had wished.

~To be Continued~

Next chapter: The Living Dead

My constant struggle when writing PWP