everything is a competition unless I’m losing and then fuck off not everything has to be a competition asshole
911 beyond cool
@lifestylestudies
i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do
a/n: hey guys!! my best friend (@hazydespair / @pitifulbaby and I have teamed up together to bring you Things The Avengers Are Not Allowed To Do. We write these for our own entertainment and hope that you find some hilarity in them, too. Please follow Hazy’s account, as the second part will be published on her Tumblr! Thanks everyone! Enjoy!
• • • •
The Avengers Initiative states,
Upon becoming an Avenger, each party shall read over these guidelines and sign their name, stating that they hereby agree to the terms and conditions of the DO NOT's of being an Avenger. Shall a party break any of these rules, punishment is certain.
1. Bucky and Sam are not allowed to bully Peter while on missions, any other time is free game
2. No calling Bruce Shrek
3. No calling Loki Elsa
4. Scott and Phil are not allowed to sit and gush over Steve Rogers
5. Tony isn’t allowed to draw fake mustaches on Fury's photos
6. You can’t send T’Challa cat toys
7. Don’t ask Fury how many fingers you are putting up
8. Thor isn’t allowed to put his hammer in front of anyone's door
9. No cosplaying each other
10. Thor isn’t allowed to put his hammer in the elevator
11. No using Steves shield as a turtle shell
12. No putting Bucky and Sam in the get along shirt
13. Don’t ask Bucky for a hand
14. Helping Steve cross the road is not helping the elderly
15. Don’t ask Thor how high he can count
16. Don’t steal Peter’s lunch money
17. Don’t let Bucky use Steve's shield as a sled
18. Bucky and Bruce aren’t allowed to listen to heavy metal
19. No telling Thor that Jane dumped him, it makes him ‘salty’
20. Please don’t show up at Peter Parker's place of work or school
21. Don’t call Natasha momma spider and Peter baby spider
22. No more calling Tony, Tony Stank
23. Scott isn’t allowed to have insect fights with Peter
24. No asking Vision how his vision is
25. Stop asking Nick what is in his wallet
26. Don’t put a metal detector against Bucky's arm
27. Sam and Clint aren’t allowed to make bird noises at each other
28. Please stop putting googly eyes on pictures of Nick Fury
29. Please don’t take Thor to Halloween horror nights
30. Tony isn’t allowed to move the furniture slightly to the left so Pietro will run into it
LINK TO PART TWO -> Things The Avengers Are NOT Allowed To Do pt. 2